Twilight: New Moon

[Tweek]

http://www.joblo.com/upcomingmovies/movies.php?id=3210

Plot (I guess): Boring human girl is in deep chagrin after her boring vampire boyfriend leaves her. Not to fear, a mildly likeable werewolf becomes her best friend...and maybe more! :eek:

I mean:

Bella Swan is devastated by the abrupt departure of her vampire love, Edward Cullen but her spirit is rekindled by her growing friendship with the irresistible Jacob Black. Suddenly she finds herself drawn into the world of the werewolves, ancestral enemies of the vampires, and finds her loyalties tested.

http://www.joblo.com/big-poster-images/newmp2.jpg
---

If I see this at all, which is a biiiiig if, I'll probably do so through "other" channels.

[Bourne101]

Never saw the first one and won't see this one. The whole thing just doesn't interest me at all. End of story.

[ilovemovies]

This movie looks like it's a wild mix of a somewhat interesting story, mixed with some laughable soap opera theatrics and some laughable special effects. The warewolf stuff looks especially hideously and hilariously bad.

[God of War]

The first movie was absolutely hyped to the moon (pun intended) and back rubbish. So, I expect the sequel to be more of the same plus more. That equals even more rubbish. There's just not enough room in this universe for such tripe. Oh, God! And to think there's another one after this. Three loads of shit on one lawn. I won't survive the torrential downpour of teeny-bopper bullshit over this movie. No, not again.

"Vampires have laws?" Oh, puleease....

:)

[jbar1026]

the first one wasnt bad not great either so im mildly interested in seeing this

[Heisenberg]

The first wasn't THAT bad, I liked it in some ways. But this is gonna be a dvd rental for me.

[rossjohnson2806]

Fully agree with the last 2 guys, Twilight gets way to much hate in my opinion. The film was alright, i'll probably go see new moon at the cinema.

[FireCaptain4]

Cross my eyes and my stars! I've been looking forward to this since before Jon and Kate had 8! I can't wait to see Bella go back and forth from mackin’ on Edward and Jacob! Oh, I wonder who she'll choose?! When Jacob transforms into a werepooch, my coconuts twitter! Goorsho!

Now I'm off to alternate between watching Gossip Girl and The Hills!!!1!

[Mr.HyDe807]

To be honest, I actually read some of the first one recently. My family rented a house out at Montauk for my dad's 60th birthday, and the family had the Twilight series laying around. So, I decided to delve into it and see the whole hooplah. It was harmless stuff, though Bella's angst was a little annoying at times.

Yet, when I read the stuff in the books and saw it on screen, everything just was way too brooding. Just about everyone has no personality, just a vacant stare and "Hey, you're a cool chick/dude, I want you" dialogue.

Ahh well, it's got a fan base, albeit somewhat ridiculous and extreme. It's not for me, though I may check out the first one on a whim when it premieres on showtime.

[echo_bravo]

I gotta say the CGI looks mindblowing in this film. When that kid jumps in the air and turns into a giant wolf, it was probably the best special effects I have EVER seen. James Cameron aint got shit on this.

















:p

[jolanar]

Kinda surprised they couldn't afford better special effects. I mean from the looks of it Underworld 3 has the same quality FX as this movie.

This one does look much more interesting than the first one however, judging solely from the trailers.

[poopontheshoes7]

Actually, the movie isn't as disgustingly melodramatic as the book, but that's not saying much at all. I said it once and I'll say it again. I wouldn't hate twilight nearly as much as I do if the fanbase wasn't the most obnoxiously pathetic I've ever encountered.

[Shinigami]

The Twilight girl craze has really helped me see how absurd gender catering stuff can be. The target audience myths make me bust a gut. I was reading an Empire article about the movie and the stars were explaining the complexities of New Moon. They brought up how men can relate more to this movie because Jacob is like your average guy. It's hard to relate to Edward because he's perfect. But Jacob works on cars and stuff, you know?

I'm starting to get an idea of how women might feel every time they read some dreg about how the latest latex momma in the newest boy blockbuster is "empowered" because she totally slaps the bad guy before he kidnaps her. Or how the latest comic book movie appeals to women because There's a lot of romance, you know, it's not just bang bang lol so I think women are really going to like this.

I'm getting a kick out of it.

[Lady Stardust]

If i wanted to hear a bitch whine for a hour i would punch my sister.

I'm gonna pass.

[dellamorte dellamore]

I admitted in the past that the trailer was somewhat cool, even if the wolf transformation was cheesy, it had me interested, until i snapped out of it and realized these movies are glorified WB channel offerings.

Just grateful i don't work in a store that sells Twilight related merchandise, i think i would lose it and destroy the place;),cuss out all the fanboys/girls, then take a dump on one of the Twilight blu rays, right in the middle of the store.

[Jig Saw 123]

This entire franchise is the biggest money sucking piece of garbage I've seen, I mean at least Star Wars had a good plot. :)

[Venus Venusia]

It seems whenever I sport my opinion on this series, I offend a lot of my friends, hahahahaha. It's become such a touchy subject for them and I'm just hoping they can look back on themselves in a few years and laugh. I really don't find this Edward Cullen fellow that "hot" at all. And I don't feel like watching Kristen Stewart bite her lips and flip her hair constantly. Pass.

[ilovemovies]

Hahaha! Ebert just gave it 1 star! :D

[drc5145]

Hahaha! Ebert just gave it 1 star! :D

That's 1 star too many.

[Tweek]

Hahaha! Ebert just gave it 1 star! :D

:D

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20091118/REVIEWS/911199998

The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.

"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" takes the tepid achievement of "Twilight" (2008), guts it, and leaves it for undead. You know you're in trouble with a sequel when the word of mouth advises you to see the first movie twice instead. Obviously the characters all have. Long opening stretches of this film make utterly no sense unless you walk in knowing the first film, and hopefully both Stephanie Meyer novels, by heart. Edward and Bella spend murky moments glowering at each other and thinking, So, here we are again.

Bella (Kristen Stewart) is still living at home with her divorced dad (Billy Burke), a cop whose disciplinary policy involves declaring her grounded for the rest of her life and then disappearing so she can jump from cliffs, haunt menacing forests, and fly to Italy so the movie can evoke the sad final death scene from--why, hold on, it's Romeo and Juliet! The very play Edward was reciting narcissistically and contemptuously in an opening scene.

Yes, Edward (Robert Pattinson) is back in school, repeating the 12th grade for the 84th time. Bella sees him in the school parking lot, walking toward her in slow-motion, wearing one of those Edwardian Beatles jackets with a velvet collar, pregnant with his beauty. How white his skin, how red his lips. The decay of middle age may transform him into the Joker.

Edward and the other members of the Cullen vampire clan stand around a lot with glowering skulks. Long pauses interrupt longer ones. Listen up, lads! You may be immortal, but we've got a train to catch.

Edward leaves, because Bella was not meant to be with him. Although he's a vegetarian vampire, when she gets a paper cut at her birthday party one of his pals leaps on her like a shark on a tuna fish.

In his absence she's befriended by Jake (Taylor Lautner), that nice American Indian boy. "You've gotten all buff!" she tells him. Yeah, real buff, and soon he's never wearing a shirt and standing outside in the winter rain as if he were--why, nothing more than a wild animal. They don't need coats like ours, remember, because God gave them theirs.

Those not among that five percent of the movie's target audience that doesn't already know this will (spoiler) be surprised that Jake is a werewolf.

Bella: So…you're a werewolf?
Jake: Last time I checked.
Bella: "Can't you find a way to...just stop?
Jake (patiently): "It's not a lifestyle choice, Bella."

Jake is influenced, or controlled, or something, by Sam, another member of the tribe. He's like the alpha wolf. Sam and his three friends are mostly seen in long shot, shirtless in the rain, hanging around the edges of the clearing as if hoping to dash in and pick off some fresh meat.

Bella writes long letters to her absent vampire friend Alice (Ashley Greene), in which she does nothing to explain why she is helplessly attracted to these sinister, humorless and vain men. It can't be the sex. As I've already explained in my review of the first film, The Twilight Saga is an extended metaphor for teen chastity, in which the punishment for being deflowered I will leave to your imagination.

The movie includes beauteous fields filled with potted flowers apparently buried hours before by the grounds crew, and nobody not clued in on the plot. Since they know it all and we know all, sitting through this experience is like driving a pickup in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem.

[poopontheshoes7]

Who said Ebert has lost his touch?:D

[dfd3657]

This is the only reason I saw Twilight: http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/twilight.

I can certainly tell you that if they end up doing the whole series, I'm seeing every single fucking movie.

[CyclicNightmare]

ZOMG WHERE ARE ALL THE PEEPS WHO WENT TO MIDNITE SHOWZ?????

[muttly69]

ZOMG WHERE ARE ALL THE PEEPS WHO WENT TO MIDNITE SHOWZ?????

For real! My wife wants me to take her but I need to know what to expect so I how many beers to pound down before we go. Please help!!!!!

[FireCaptain4]

Apparently this sequel is far worst than the first. Or, at least, the imdb rating and reviews would suggest such: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1259571/

4.2 out of 10.

Additionally, we all know that imdb ratings always start high and drop after a few weeks.

[ScaryFreak1827]

Apparently this sequel is far worst than the first. Or, at least, the imdb rating and reviews would suggest such: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1259571/

4.2 out of 10.

Additionally, we all know that imdb ratings always start high and drop after a few weeks.

Not that I'm supporting this film in any way but IMDB was at a 4.2 weeks before the film was released.

[DarkElfa]

Apparently this sequel is far worst than the first. Or, at least, the imdb rating and reviews would suggest such: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1259571/

4.2 out of 10.

Additionally, we all know that imdb ratings always start high and drop after a few weeks.

Dude, IMDB is a haven for fanboys and fanboys hate these films.

Did you read Jimmy O's review of New Moon? Its a new low for JoBlo. First off they should have gotten someone who didn't hate the film going in to do the review. Second, unless you're a retard, you could literally watch the sarcasm and loathing drip from every word of it. Are they great films? No, but they're better than crap like Scream. Its times like this that JoBlo disappoints me and ends up looking less like a professional internet movie site and more like a jumble of immature fanboys who lucked out writing about movies.

[The Heart Collector]

If you're not standing in line to watch this movie right now you deserve to be flogged.

[Reigh Kaufman]

Dude, IMDB is a haven for fanboys and fanboys hate these films.

Did you read Jimmy O's review of New Moon? Its a new low for JoBlo. First off they should have gotten someone who didn't hate the film going in to do the review. Second, unless you're a retard, you could literally watch the sarcasm and loathing drip from every word of it. Are they great films? No, but they're better than crap like Scream. Its times like this that JoBlo disappoints me and ends up looking less like a professional internet movie site and more like a jumble of immature fanboys who lucked out writing about movies.

I just snorted my Jim Beam.

Thanks.

When you can write a scathing review of a semi-scathing review without everyone being able to "watch" your own bias literally drip from every word (which isn't actually possible - but I must presume you are being hyperbolic), get back to us.

Jo's Scream review was written when the site was still in its infancy and the film was considered "fresh".

And Jimmy O's review was much fairer than my own. The film is worse than a canker on your gum while you lick a battery and eat orange sherbert.

Imagine what I will say when I actually watch this piece of effluence.

[Inglorious]

I tried to watch the first one before it was the over-hyped mess that it has become. I could not stomach it, I found the angsty teen frustration and whiny/faux-dark tone to be a little too much. Not only that, it just did not capture my interest at all. Since it has become this huge sensation, Im not going to lie - thats fuels the fire, leading me to dislike it even more.

I was offered 2 free tickets to see New Moon last night... my response? Simply that I would not be caught dead in an auditorium showing this film...

[Dead Halloween]

No, but they're better than crap like Scream.

I'd rather see Scream twice than watching both Twilights films.
I saw the first Twilight movie with a very open mind, but I just couldn't like it and for what I heard from the reviews this one doesn't look any better.

[LordSimen]

Screams fuckin' phenomenal. But it's a horror satire that serves as both a homage to films of yesteryear as well as a fun ride in and of itself... What does it have to do with this sappy/sparkly Teenie Bopper vampire flick?

[Bourne101]

Yeah, what the hell does Scream have to do with Twilight?

Even if you do compare them...

Scream- one of the best reviewed horror films of the last twenty years.

Twilight- neither film in the series could crack the fresh mark on RT, and the new entry is receiving some particularly scathing reviews from some of the best critics around.

[FireCaptain4]

Not that I'm supporting this film in any way but IMDB was at a 4.2 weeks before the film was released.

Ah, this is a result of me A) not visiting imdb very often in the last year or so and B) not caring enough to view what New Moon's critcal standing was prior to yesterday.

Dude, IMDB is a haven for fanboys and fanboys hate these films.

Did you read Jimmy O's review of New Moon? Its a new low for JoBlo. First off they should have gotten someone who didn't hate the film going in to do the review. Second, unless you're a retard, you could literally watch the sarcasm and loathing drip from every word of it. Are they great films? No, but they're better than crap like Scream. Its times like this that JoBlo disappoints me and ends up looking less like a professional internet movie site and more like a jumble of immature fanboys who lucked out writing about movies.

While I concur with your criticism towards imdb, what does Scream have to do with Twilight? Scream is an R-rated horror/comedy that targets the slasher genre. Twilight is a PG-13 vampire romance directed towards young, teenage girls. I personally haven't bothered with either Twilight film, so I don't know exactly what I would think of either in comparison with Scream. However, I don't think Scream is that bad of a film. Sure, other films inspired by Scream (like I Know What You Did Last Summer and Valentine) were quite bad, but the film itself was one of the more self-aware and fun slasher films I can recall. Perhaps comparing these films to Blood & Chocolate or The Covenant would be more approapriate.

Side note: Aren't you the same Schmoe whom responded to me for liking the original Clash of the Titans as well? I remember replying to you with a rather in-depth response and never receiving a rebuttal, which was quite upsetting at the time.

[DarkElfa]

My point is that there have been a 1000 crappier films than those of Twilight and none of them get the absolute disrespect that these films do. I remember when Meet the Spartans came out and that film was an abomination and yet it still didn't get the hate Twilight gets. Its just a film but yet the hate is deeper and has little to do with the actual film andmore to do with male insecurities and just sheer fucking hatred for the sake of hatred. Never before have people had more to say aboput something they don't actually watch. Why feel the need to come in and attempt to destroy what some people like? Are they not entitled to enjoy their films releases without being made to feel like its a bad thing or is the right to ejoy a film only reserved for those magnificent TDK lovin' bastards?

My point is that its not a great film, no, but its far from the worst yet every thread on every movie site is filled with page after page of angry little nerd boys peeing their pants in hatred over Twilight whereever it pops up. Its fucking enough already. We get it, you think its gay, stupid, retarded and double gay. STFU and get a life already. Stop haunting the film and its fans. JoBlo is for ALL movie fans, not just armchair critics. Let us try and enjoy the film for once without the bottomless pit of slanderous Twihaters nerd raging us into a coma.

@FireCaptain4 I apologize, I never got back to that thread. My issue with the film wasn't its quality as a whole as much as it hasn't held up very well since then. I chalk it up having not seen it since childhood and it wasn't good as I remembered. Certainly not a great film any any means but still a favorite. Hell, there are lots of films that aren't really technically good films but a film doesn't have to be considered good to be enjoyable or a favorite for someone. In a way, that comes back to Twilight for me. Its not technically a good film but I did enjoy it. Its not well acted or terribly bad acted compared to most films in the teen genre. What I liked, surprisingly was its vampire portrayal. I don't mean "sparkles" but the mystery and sex appeal that characters like Dracula used and that have been sorely removed from more modern vampire flicks in favor of rampant gore and violence. Modern Hollywood has taken the alluring aspect of the Vampire, a dangerous and dark creature and turned him into Freddy fucking Kruger. In that aspect, vampire films like 30 days of Night and From Dusk Till Dawn are just as much of a disgrace to What Bram Stoker created as any sparkling Calvin Klein model could hope to be.

[LordSimen]

I'm pretty sure Michael Bay movies get about as much shit as the Twilight movies are getting. Their fandoms, however, is where I'd say the hatred differs.

[magicwizguy]

Well, A.O. Scott and Michael Philips both gave the film a "See It" in At the Movies.

[Moviefan02000]

Ah the time all the TWILIGHT haters come out... ;)

Anyway, it was great and a massive improvement over the first. I'd go as far as saying it's better than the book...maybe. :p

[MelkorTP]

Never saw the first one and won't see this one. The whole thing just doesn't interest me at all. End of story.

your words reveal how stupid you are...you said you didn`t saw the first and you ain`t gonna see this one...well, why in the hell you posted your thoughts that have nothing to do with the movie ? back to my point...you`re stupid.
...if seen the big picture of the whole idea this has at it`s base, is not that bad how almost everyone say it is.(except the ladies):P

[Bourne101]

your words reveal how stupid you are...you said you didn`t saw the first and you ain`t gonna see this one...well, why in the hell you posted your thoughts that have nothing to do with the movie ? back to my point...you`re stupid.
...if seen the big picture of the whole idea this has at it`s base, is not that bad how almost everyone say it is.(except the ladies):P

Someone clearly hasn't read the rules and your post is kind of ironic... You call me stupid and then say, "You said you didn't saw the first and you ain't gonna see this one."

LOL

And I did make a post related to the movie. I said that I am not interested in the series. It's not as if the only people who can post in this thread are people that are interested in the series.

[SykkBoy]

Lookout fanboys, fangirls have arrived and they have a lot of money to spend...

Something i noticed about this flick and my view on it...

me - not the target audience for this flick and while i didn't hate it, I didn't become a fan either

my 13 year old daughter - the target audience....loved every minute of it and wants to see it again and probably will next weekend with her friends...

The lesson in all of this: if movie studios know they audience and make a movie for that audience, they will make some serious bank...

The only thing I find more obnoxious than Twilight lovers is Twilight haters...some of the haters need to invest in a crying towel or something...they spend as much time and energy hating on a series they've never seen than the people who watched it, like it and contributed to it's massive box office take....

[Darth Kenshin]

The only thing I find more obnoxious than Twilight lovers is Twilight haters...some of the haters need to invest in a crying towel or something...they spend as much time and energy hating on a series they've never seen than the people who watched it, like it and contributed to it's massive box office take....

He speaks the truth.

Bottom line: the target audience loves these movies, they make a ton of money (if I'm reading this correctly, it broke Dark Knight's record for biggest opening day ever), and they're gonna continue. Don't waste your time/energy hating on it. People who do just come off as bitter curmudgeons. Yeah, I just said curmudgeons.

[dfd3657]

So after reading this plot synopsis (with a humorous edge of course; thank you cracked.com), I honestly don't understand how someone can take this book series seriously, especially the final book in the series.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/

With the baby suffocating, Edward and co decide to perform a vampire cesarean. Jacob takes some time off to write down 'Vampire Cesarean' as a possible future name for his punk band, and then races to Bella's side in time to hear her spine break.

Once again, we are not making this up.

Another shattering crack inside her body, the loudest yet... Her legs, which had been curled up in agony, now went limp, sprawling out in an unnatural way.

"Her spine," he choked in horror.

It's only implied, but we like to think Edward tries to cheer Bella up about the whole paralysis thing by saying 'Hey girl, at least we don't need an epidural!' Bella gurgles some more, and Jacob takes some time out of the birthing to randomly beat up Edward's sister. That's just how Jacob rolls. At some point, Edward rips open Bella's uterus and delivers the baby.

He rips open her uterus.

With his teeth.

Then stabs her with a vampire venom-filled syringe.

At this point the reader is filled with something not unlike calm relief. At least nothing, nothing in the world, could be more disturbing than this. Except, like, quasi-child porn or something. Luckily, of course, that would be entirely--

Then Jacob falls madly in love with the newborn baby girl.

No, we don't mean in the sense of 'Oh, I fell in love with that kitten the moment I saw it'. We mean in love love. Really, what we're trying to say--and let us know if you don't understand--is that Jacob the borderline rapist and the tiny baby vampire chest-burster are going to get married and have babies.

Who knows? Maybe it's just all one big joke and Stephanie Meyer is laughing all the way to the bank.

[Shinigami]

Actually that sounds amazingly awesome.

Doesn't it?

[SykkBoy]

One thing I noticed about New Moon...it had so many shirtless teen boys in it, I had to catch the credits to see if Victor Salva was a producer ;-)

[Shinigami]

So after reading this plot synopsis (with a humorous edge of course; thank you cracked.com), I honestly don't understand how someone can take this book series seriously, especially the final book in the series.


cuz you read a plot synopsis that was sarcastic and mocking, thank you cracked.com
It's like watching Dark Knight on rifftrax and wondering why it seems so stupid all of a sudden.

[dellamorte dellamore]

Lookout fanboys, fangirls have arrived and they have a lot of money to spend...

Something i noticed about this flick and my view on it...

me - not the target audience for this flick and while i didn't hate it, I didn't become a fan either

my 13 year old daughter - the target audience....loved every minute of it and wants to see it again and probably will next weekend with her friends...

The lesson in all of this: if movie studios know they audience and make a movie for that audience, they will make some serious bank...

The only thing I find more obnoxious than Twilight lovers is Twilight haters...some of the haters need to invest in a crying towel or something...they spend as much time and energy hating on a series they've never seen than the people who watched it, like it and contributed to it's massive box office take....

Why not hate on this turd of a series, at least we will have a counterbalance to all the love

[Tweek]

your words reveal how stupid you are...you said you didn`t saw the first and you ain`t gonna see this one...well, why in the hell you posted your thoughts that have nothing to do with the movie ? back to my point...you`re stupid.
...if seen the big picture of the whole idea this has at it`s base, is not that bad how almost everyone say it is.(except the ladies):P

The first rule of this board is not to insult other members. Your comment was unnecessary. This isn't a thread just for fans. Deal with it.

Oh, and I'm a lady...I think the first movie and what I've read of the first book are awful. :)

[Tagia_Romero]

Lookout fanboys, fangirls have arrived and they have a lot of money to spend...

Something i noticed about this flick and my view on it...

me - not the target audience for this flick and while i didn't hate it, I didn't become a fan either

my 13 year old daughter - the target audience....loved every minute of it and wants to see it again and probably will next weekend with her friends...

The lesson in all of this: if movie studios know they audience and make a movie for that audience, they will make some serious bank...

The only thing I find more obnoxious than Twilight lovers is Twilight haters...some of the haters need to invest in a crying towel or something...they spend as much time and energy hating on a series they've never seen than the people who watched it, like it and contributed to it's massive box office take....

Certainly.

[FireCaptain4]

Well, my sister told me all about the third and fourth novels (she's a massive fan of the books but for some reason hasn't cared for either film just yet), and it sounds like the final book will be very controversial since it deals with teenage pregnancy. It all sounded a little silly to me, but I can imagine silly parents throwing huge fits by the time the fourth feature comes out--claiming it celebrates teenage pregnancy.

[drc5145]

With the baby suffocating, Edward and co decide to perform a vampire cesarean. Jacob takes some time off to write down 'Vampire Cesarean' as a possible future name for his punk band, and then races to Bella's side in time to hear her spine break.

Once again, we are not making this up.

Another shattering crack inside her body, the loudest yet... Her legs, which had been curled up in agony, now went limp, sprawling out in an unnatural way.

"Her spine," he choked in horror.

It's only implied, but we like to think Edward tries to cheer Bella up about the whole paralysis thing by saying 'Hey girl, at least we don't need an epidural!' Bella gurgles some more, and Jacob takes some time out of the birthing to randomly beat up Edward's sister. That's just how Jacob rolls. At some point, Edward rips open Bella's uterus and delivers the baby.

He rips open her uterus.

With his teeth.

Then stabs her with a vampire venom-filled syringe.

At this point the reader is filled with something not unlike calm relief. At least nothing, nothing in the world, could be more disturbing than this. Except, like, quasi-child porn or something. Luckily, of course, that would be entirely--

Then Jacob falls madly in love with the newborn baby girl.

No, we don't mean in the sense of 'Oh, I fell in love with that kitten the moment I saw it'. We mean in love love. Really, what we're trying to say--and let us know if you don't understand--is that Jacob the borderline rapist and the tiny baby vampire chest-burster are going to get married and have babies.

I really hope they film this segment tit for tat. I'd love to see the reactions of the young girls and mothers as they watch it happen. The birth scene is described as disturbing.

It could be like a teen version of the chestbuster from Alien. :D

[Tagia_Romero]

It's like a teen version of the chestbuster from Alien. :D

Only the chestburster was cuter. :D

http://www.andrewbostom.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/alien_chestburster.jpg

Awww, lookit.

[FireCaptain4]

My point is that there have been a 1000 crappier films than those of Twilight and none of them get the absolute disrespect that these films do. I remember when Meet the Spartans came out and that film was an abomination and yet it still didn't get the hate Twilight gets. Its just a film but yet the hate is deeper and has little to do with the actual film andmore to do with male insecurities and just sheer fucking hatred for the sake of hatred. Never before have people had more to say aboput something they don't actually watch. Why feel the need to come in and attempt to destroy what some people like? Are they not entitled to enjoy their films releases without being made to feel like its a bad thing or is the right to ejoy a film only reserved for those magnificent TDK lovin' bastards?.

First of all, I'm not really hating on the franchise. I joke at its expense here and there, but I haven't seen either film and I'm not going to directly mock something I haven't observed. The reason I haven't seen either movie yet is, to be honest yet again, the plot synopsis/trailers/etc. don't interest me.

My point is that its not a great film, no, but its far from the worst yet every thread on every movie site is filled with page after page of angry little nerd boys peeing their pants in hatred over Twilight whereever it pops up. Its fucking enough already. We get it, you think its gay, stupid, retarded and double gay. STFU and get a life already. Stop haunting the film and its fans. JoBlo is for ALL movie fans, not just armchair critics. Let us try and enjoy the film for once without the bottomless pit of slanderous Twihaters nerd raging us into a coma.

Not all, but most Schmoe reviewers here in the forums are much more mature than this. If Monotreme or Bourne or I were to review a this film or its predecessor, none of us would result in calling the film "gay," even if we didn't like it. Most of us would provide an analysis of the plot, characters, direction, production, etc. (or lack thereof) and state particularly what the downfalls/short-comings of the film were and why it didn't work.

Imdb, on the other hand, is probably full of annoying people that sum up their reviews with "... and it's double gay!"

@FireCaptain4 I apologize, I never got back to that thread. My issue with the film wasn't its quality as a whole as much as it hasn't held up very well since then. I chalk it up having not seen it since childhood and it wasn't good as I remembered. Certainly not a great film any means but still a favorite. Hell, there are lots of films that aren't really technically good films but a film doesn't have to be considered good to be enjoyable or a favorite for someone. In a way, that comes back to Twilight for me. Its not technically a good film but I did enjoy it.

Thanks for a final response. I understand were you're coming from (Clash isn't as fascinating now as nostalgia led you to believe when you were younger). However, an opinion towards any film, when it comes right down to it, is subjective. Technical aspects of a film (special effects, cinematography) can be broken down and picked apart (all films age), but the true quality of a movie is in the eyes of the beholder. In my book, Clash is a border-line great film (not a masterpiece, but a far above-average fantasy mythology on par with Jason and the Argonauts). I find it's villains to be menacing, monsters to have character (which very few monsters in these types of films have), acting to be relatively strong, story to be phenomenal and fascinating, action to be classic (the Medusa and giant scorpion fights are up there with the Raiders... boulder run for me), and score to be quite epic and memorable. It's almost a masterpiece, all things considered.

[FireCaptain4]

I really hope the film this segment tit for tat. I'd love to see the reactions of the young girls and mothers as they watch it happens. The birth scene is described as disturbing.

It could be like a teen version of the chestbuster from Alien. :D

Hey, you never know, maybe this franchise will become much more developed and/or disturbing upon the release of the third film? After all, David Slade is at the helm. I only hope that man brings some real nastiness (with, of course, that unavoidable PG-13 rating in tact) to the series--then I may consider checking out the third.

Again, I don't know how that teen pregnancy angle in the fourth is going to set with parents.

Only the chestburster was cuter. :D

http://www.andrewbostom.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/alien_chestburster.jpg

Awww, lookit.

Tagia, you're so demented! :rolleyes:

... which is why I love you. :o

[poopontheshoes7]

Only the chestburster was cuter. :D

http://www.andrewbostom.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/alien_chestburster.jpg

Awww, lookit.

Ha, this made me happy.

[Sigur509]

Im probably seeing this tonight. I saw and enjoyed the first one. They are not the shitty movies most people claim them to be, nor are they the most amazing films ever made.

we shall see.

[Tagia_Romero]

Hey, you never know, maybe this franchise will become much more developed and/or disturbing upon the release of the third film? After all, David Slade is at the helm. I only hope that man brings some real nastiness (with, of course, that unavoidable PG-13 rating in tact) to the series--then I may consider checking out the third.

Again, I don't know how that teen pregnancy angle in the fourth is going to set with parents.


I'm more confused about how two vampires can have a half-breed child, or even just conceive. For all intents and purposes, vampires are dead, their baby batter is long gone, even if the other partner is human.

[Tagia_Romero]

Tagia, you're so demented! :rolleyes:

... which is why I love you. :o

Not as much as your porn, evidently. :p

[drc5145]

Only the chestburster was cuter. :D

http://www.andrewbostom.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/alien_chestburster.jpg

Awww, lookit.

Ha. :p

Hey, you never know, maybe this franchise will become much more developed and/or disturbing upon the release of the third film? After all, David Slade is at the helm. I only hope that man brings some real nastiness (with, of course, that unavoidable PG-13 rating in tact) to the series--then I may consider checking out the third.

Maybe but I highly doubt it as long as the franchise continues to make money. I imagine if Slade tried to heavily change the script and make it less faithful to the book, he'll probably get shit from the producers...I think...

This would be my dream scenario of Twilight:

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/7200000/twilight-blade-twilight-series-7218972-400-267.jpg

[TeawithBlood]

So I went to go see New Moon today... It made me want to strangle small children. I knew it was going to be bad, but damn, I wasn't expecting this. Even shirtless men EVERYWHERE couldn't make me enjoy just a little. I actually wanted them to stay clothed. I'm so sorry I actually paid for this.

[dfd3657]

cuz you read a plot synopsis that was sarcastic and mocking, thank you cracked.com
It's like watching Dark Knight on rifftrax and wondering why it seems so stupid all of a sudden.

It doesn't matter that the article has a sarcastic/humorous slant to it; it's still telling me the basic gist of what happens in that book (which I confirmed with my sister). I just think the whole idea of the birthing scene (IE Edward basically eating the baby out of her womb) completely and absolutely ridiculous. And the whole "Jacob imprinting the newborn and falling in love with it" is just a little creepy if you ask me.

[kru3ger]

Ha. :p



Maybe but I highly doubt it as long as the franchise continues to make money. I imagine if Slade tried to heavily change the script and make it less faithful to the book, he'll probably get shit from the producers...I think...

This would be my dream scenario of Twilight:

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/7200000/twilight-blade-twilight-series-7218972-400-267.jpg

hahah best picture ever!

[DarkElfa]

Hey, you never know, maybe this franchise will become much more developed and/or disturbing upon the release of the third film? After all, David Slade is at the helm. I only hope that man brings some real nastiness (with, of course, that unavoidable PG-13 rating in tact) to the series--then I may consider checking out the third.

Again, I don't know how that teen pregnancy angle in the fourth is going to set with parents.



Tagia, you're so demented! :rolleyes:

... which is why I love you. :o

Well, technically, its not a teen pregnancy since they're of college age at the time. The delivery is pretty messed up though since the baby is really strong and as the novel points out there is a lot of blood and bones breaking. sounds like fun and it may end up like the chest burster after all.

Actually, I imagine that might make it the vagina burster but I happily digress. *shivers

[Reigh Kaufman]

You're cute.

Anyone who wants a vagina bursting scene in a movie is alright by me.

[Tagia_Romero]

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/7200000/twilight-blade-twilight-series-7218972-400-267.jpg

"You're not immortal. I musta heard hundreds of you rodents make the same claim."

[ilovemovies]

This movie sucked pretty badly. The first movie isn't very good, but it wasn't without it's good points. This movie has ALL of the first one's weaknesses and NONE of it's strengths. And Bella, who I kind of liked in the first one, has become a really annoying and uninteresting character.

4/10 (and I feel that is being pretty generous)

[jbar1026]

new moon 8/10

i liked it. and found it entertaining most of the time some of the werewolf stuff got boring
overall a decent movie. if you liked the first one you will like this one.

[FireCaptain4]

So, I'm with some family this weekend and my sister and I just had a new Twilight conversation (which mainly consists of her talking and me staring, flabbergasted).

Anyway, supposedly the third novel in the series is a much more intense and graphic. Supposedly there's a point in the book where Bryce Dallas Howard's character turns tons of innocent civilians into vampires and they all storm and try to kill off the (Team somethingoranother, I'm not familiar with Twilight lore). My sister said it would be the equivalent of the Mr. Smith fight in Matrix Reloaded and Slade's 30 Days of Night. There's a lot of snow, blood, and bodies piled upon one another in this sequence.

The fact that Slade would direct something like this sounds like fun, but I'm just not sure if what I envision in my head is what actually happens in these kind of movies. Furthermore, I seriously can't imagine this next film being rated R... but, nevertheless, the description of the scene sounded interesting. I just lack the real motivation to watch these movies.

[dfd3657]

So, I'm with some family this weekend and my sister and I just had a new Twilight conversation (which mainly consists of her talking and me staring, flabbergasted).

Anyway, supposedly the third novel in the series is a much more intense and graphic. Supposedly there's a point in the book where Bryce Dallas Howard's character turns tons of innocent civilians into vampires and they all storm and try to kill off the (Team somethingoranother, I'm not familiar with Twilight lore). My sister said it would be the equivalent of the Mr. Smith fight in Matrix Reloaded and Slade's 30 Days of Night. There's a lot of snow, blood, and bodies piled upon one another in this sequence.

The fact that Slade would direct something like this sounds like fun, but I'm just not sure if what I envision in my head is what actually happens in these kind of movies. Furthermore, I seriously can't imagine this next film being rated R... but, nevertheless, the description of the scene sounded interesting. I just lack the real motivation to watch these movies.

Yeah, I remember reading Slade saying he wanted to make Eclipse more intense and graphic, but that's not going to happen because they can't go anything about PG-13. They have to keep with their tween demographic. I find it funny that Slade's directing because I remember reading comments from him awhile back completely bashing the Twilight series. Whatever gets you paid, I suppose.

[legato]

Well, Dark Knight was PG-13 and they got away with stuff much more intense than what FireCapt described. Not that it matters to me. The big question there is what happened to the Weitz brothers? Were they damned to fantasy hell?

[magicwizguy]

Yeah, I remember reading Slade saying he wanted to make Eclipse more intense and graphic, but that's not going to happen because they can't go anything about PG-13. They have to keep with their tween demographic. I find it funny that Slade's directing because I remember reading comments from him awhile back completely bashing the Twilight series. Whatever gets you paid, I suppose.
I heard the 3rd book is the most action-oriented. In fact, if you read the plot summary Summit Entertainment has released, it says something about mysterious, bizarre killings in Denver. That sounds just right for Mr. Slade.

My review:

After Bella recovers from the vampire attack that almost claimed her life, she looks to celebrate her birthday with Edward and his family. However, a minor accident during the festivities results in Bella's blood being shed, a sight that proves too intense for the Cullens, who decide to leave the town of Forks, Washington for Bella and Edward's sake. Initially heartbroken, Bella finds a form of comfort in reckless living, as well as an even-closer friendship with Jacob Black. Danger in different forms awaits.

I have to admit it. I enjoyed the first film, TWILIGHT, very much so. I'm a sentimental guy so I was swept away easily by the romance between Edward and Bella. To make it clear for anyone of you out there, the TWILIGHT series are not vampire movies. Instead, think of them as a ROMEO AND JULIET story WITH vampires. Some people like these kinds of things. Others don't. I'll try to refrain from saying only teenage girls would love this movie because when I went to see this movie, there were people between the ages of 2 months and 65 years old, half split with males and females. I guess the stereotype wasn't true after all.

You can automatically feel a huge difference between this and the first film. This film is definitely much more slower paced. While never boring, it's quite a drag since it's over two hours long. Although it starts off slow, the ball does get rolling after Edward leaves Bella by herself. Unfortunately, it's also much more moodier, but I guess teen relationships are like that, aren't they? On top of that, the story isn't really all that interesting. After all, it's mostly about Bella being depressed when Edward leaves her. The finale seemed a bit rushed too with little payoff.

However, all is not bad. Director Chris Weitz does a much better job in here than Catherine Hardwicke, giving the film a distinctive look in the title sequence alone. If you may remember, I complained that the first film had too low of a budget to make it look like a blockbuster like it is. However, the problem is quickly fixed since the budget is twice as large as the first, which helped make the film look less like a CW TV show than before. The special effects are put to good use here, especially for the werewolves, an addition that makes the story much more interesting. The score by Alexandre Desplat is really fantastic. See how much a bigger budget can help a movie?

Kristen Stewart does a great job in here as always. I think she grounds the movie to reality. Although Robert Pattinson is underused here, along with most of the case, he's good with the small amount of screen time he has. Taylor Lautner gets a much bigger role in here, which is fortunate not only for the Twihards out there but for everyone else too, because he makes the movie more interesting. As stated before, many of the cast members are underused. Remember Rachelle Lefevre, playing Victoria, the villain, who was part of the cliffhanger ending in the first film? Well, we see her for brief moments in here, totaling up her screen time for only seconds.

The story is much more moodier and less interesting in here, in my opinion, compared to the first. The characters are in here mostly to mope and be depressed because of a such complicated relationship. However, the technicality is much improved, from the cinematography to the score. Director Chris Weitz does his best here, along with the rest of the cast. It's a decent sequel to a good movie but it could have been much better. Maybe the screenwriter should cut out some unnecessary bits from the novels to make it more interesting. A little action wouldn't hurt, would it? Don't you just hate it when someone you love turns out to be a vampire? I think Bella needs a break. 6/10

[Johnni G]

still havn't dragged myself to see it

[ilovemovies]

They should have revealed Lautner's character to be a warewolf in the first movie. Because the way they handle it makes it laughable and redundant. It's like every guy Bella becomes involved with ends up being some horrific creature whether it be a vampire or a warewolf. It just comes off as very silly and even a bit contrived to me.

I understand that the movie is just following the books, so it's a flaw in the books as well. But that is what they should have done IMO.

Of course, that wouldn't have made the movie all that much better. There are other even more serious problems with the movie. For instance I don't buy the Bella/Edward romance at all. It was so awkwardly handled in the first movie and they have never recovered from that lousy start. It doesn't help that there isn't much chemistry between Stewart and Pattinson either.

[Tagia_Romero]

I'm sorry, but I have been meaning to lodge this correction in regards to the Jacob character:

He isn't a werewolf. He's an animagus.

An animagus is able to control their transformation and actually fully assumes the physiology of the animal they transform into, but they also retain their minds, their mentalities are still human, despite have their alternate appearance. Werecreatures however CAN have humanoid characteristics, though their transformations are uncontrollable. On top of that, they cannot remember their human consciences or their values, instead, they completely forget their other identity and can't remember what they have done when they change back into humans.

[SuperMarcey]

Basically what I've seen is people who checked this out NOT to see guys and their shirts off said it was not a good film, it was boring ect ect and the people raving about it are the ones who go to check out the guys. I mean after the midnight screenings when they interviewed people it was all "OMG JACOB WAS SO HOT" or some other crap like that, and they asked a guy what he thought and he said "It was a terrible film and now these girls are going to kill me for saying that"

[FireCaptain4]

Yeah, I remember reading Slade saying he wanted to make Eclipse more intense and graphic, but that's not going to happen because they can't go anything about PG-13. They have to keep with their tween demographic. I find it funny that Slade's directing because I remember reading comments from him awhile back completely bashing the Twilight series. Whatever gets you paid, I suppose.

Yeah. The teens who love the Twilight universe don't exactly seem to be obsessed with films like 30 Days of Night or Hard Candy. Creating a harder, more horror related picture would probably turn them off. And, hey, what the films are unleashing so far is working for that target audience, because they're making tons of money. The studio probably won't want to risk that fanbase by pushing the movie to look too adult, let alone by giving it an R.

Basically what I've seen is people who checked this out NOT to see guys and their shirts off said it was not a good film, it was boring ect ect and the people raving about it are the ones who go to check out the guys. I mean after the midnight screenings when they interviewed people it was all "OMG JACOB WAS SO HOT" or some other crap like that, and they asked a guy what he thought and he said "It was a terrible film and now these girls are going to kill me for saying that"

On HLN today, they reported on the films B.O. and displayed reviews via webcam from "normal folk." The girls and elderly women (yes, 60+ aged women) they showed all said their favorite part of the movie was "Jacob's body!"

Goodness. It's not like after I watch Alien I say, "Wow, Sigourney's panties!"

[outsyder]

The fact that the werewolf dude is 17 means those people might be considered pedophiles.

[SuperMarcey]

The fact that the werewolf dude is 17 means those people might be considered pedophiles.

Its no different then men drooling over jail bait chicks.

[Tweek]

I think I'll be creeped out if there's a "Countdown 'til Taylor Lautner turns 18" site.

[Tweek]

Curiosity got the better of me and :(

http://www.taylorlautnerdaily.com/downloads/countdown-until-legal


[vomits all over the place]

[Mr.HyDe807]

I know some schmoes were talking about this earlier, but I'm a little baffled on how this series escalates in the next two books. I don't harbor any hatred towards the series, but with what I read on the next two books, I can't believe how ridiculous everything escalates.:p

[outsyder]

Its no different then men drooling over jail bait chicks.

Yeah, and that's generally frowned upon.

[Tagia_Romero]

Yeah, and that's generally frowned upon.

Thus to which I say "Thank you for setting our sex back 50 years.".

Ugh.

[JohnLocke2009]

I get the whole fan craz feeling for got that ways over the Harry Potter films but in my view these don't even come close as being Harry Potter good even and now as i look back Harry Potter is ok after seeing Rings and the new Batman movies.
I mean i get the women fan craze but its very boring and just don't get it.

Also can you post pics here for threads. I am new here but most places let ya post pics and have buttons for that kind of thing

[Dr.Frankenstein]

Saw it tonight! interesting though a rather sedate film, better than the 1st IMO with more depth...this saga is getting good! (and no I never read the books)*** outta 5 stars.

[outsyder]

Thus to which I say "Thank you for setting our sex back 50 years.".

Ugh.


Wait I wat.

[Tweek]

Tagia_Romero, Twilight sets women pretty far back on its own. But this isn't a thread for that type of discussion.


Isn't Robert Pattinson's unwashed, unkempt hair dreeeeeaaaammmy? Ew.


Also can you post pics here for threads. I am new here but most places let ya post pics and have buttons for that kind of thing

http://www.joblo.com/forums/images/editor/insertimage.gif

Click the button that looks like that ^ and it should let you enter the image's url.

[Tagia_Romero]

Wait I wat.

No, I don't mean YOU setting women back, I mean the fact that women out there are making those 'X days until *so and so* turns legal', something that I'm sorry to say that male-orientated websites do. God knows this site has seen a few of them.

[Tagia_Romero]

Tagia_Romero, Twilight sets women pretty far back on its own. But this isn't a thread for that type of discussion.


Isn't Robert Pattinson's unwashed, unkempt hair dreeeeeaaaammmy? Ew.


And THAT, my dear, is a discussion for another thread as well. :p

[outsyder]

No, I don't mean YOU setting women back, I mean the fact that women out there are making those 'X days until *so and so* turns legal', something that I'm sorry to say that male-orientated websites do.

Ok. I thought I broke the Large Hadron Collider or something.

[Tagia_Romero]

Ok. I thought I broke the Large Hadron Collider or something.

I don't cook, so I wouldn't have taken offense. :p

[dfd3657]

What I really don't understand is the fact that the girls who read these books/see the movies don't seem to have an issue with the fact that Edward is a fucking CREEPER THAT WATCHES BELLA SLEEP. I don't want to meet the girl that thinks that is romantic.

[APzombie]

The first was painfully boring, tremendously tepid and horrendously preformed. It was also as mediocre as a bad of nuts.

I saw maybe twenty minutes of this and just about wanted to throw my hands up and declare myself cinematically inept. I want to be a filmmaker, but watching this film makes me feel like i haven't a clue about popular taste. It's not just that it's a popular phenomenon with a demographic i don't fit in, it's that i think that demographic deserves something much, much better.

[TeawithBlood]

The first was painfully boring, tremendously tepid and horrendously preformed. It was also as mediocre as a bad of nuts.

I saw maybe twenty minutes of this and just about wanted to throw my hands up and declare myself cinematically inept. I want to be a filmmaker, but watching this film makes me feel like i haven't a clue about popular taste. It's not just that it's a popular phenomenon with a demographic i don't fit in, it's that i think that demographic deserves something much, much better.

For the love of all that is holy, don't give up wanting to be a filmmaker just because of tweens with no sense of taste. I've definitely felt that way, especially being LA the last 2 months (with 4 more to go, ugh!). But there is always a market.

[magicwizguy]

The first was painfully boring, tremendously tepid and horrendously preformed. It was also as mediocre as a bad of nuts.
I wholeheartedly disagree with you. You can't say the performances were bad. You just can't. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were great in their roles.

[jbar1026]

really i have to hear some ligitimate reasons for the hate of this series.
now i admit its not as good as say let the right one in or interview with the vampire but its way better than something like john carpenters vampires or any number of other vampire movies. its a love story not an action movie.

and what is wrong with a different take on vampires i kind of like that they dont burst into flames in the sun light. admittidly the sparkle thing is kinda gay but its also kinda neat in a way.

the werewolfs were out of control. they were easily as big as horses. which i didnt like IMO they should have to maintain the same mass.

[Tweek]

really i have to hear some ligitimate reasons for the hate of this series.

-Seemingly every other page talks about Edward being beautiful.
-It's like nobody edited the damn thing! My grammar can be shit but it's better than what I read there.
-I thought I read a quote from Meyer saying that the skin is like diamonds. If the vampires have diamond skin how can regular fire hurt them?
-There's thesaurus abuse.
-Bella and Edward are boring.


now i admit its not as good as say let the right one in

I couldn't finish the novel of Let the Right One In. Some of Hakan's* scenes made me feel ill. By scenes, I mean scenes with little boys. :(


*I don't know how to type foreign characters. =\

[APzombie]

I wholeheartedly disagree with you. You can't say the performances were bad. You just can't. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were great in their roles.

Saying "you can't say the performances are bad. You just can't" validates a lot of what people don't like about Pattison. He isn't really preforming, so it's hard to complain about it. He has to be one of the least charismatic vampires in recent memory. Not to mention that Robert Pattison has yet to prove to me he is the least bit capable of a good performance, he gave one of if not the worst performance of the year in Little Ashes.


now i admit its not as good as say let the right one in or interview with the vampire but its way better than something like john carpenters vampires or any number of other vampire movies. its a love story not an action movie.

and what is wrong with a different take on vampires i kind of like that they dont burst into flames in the sun light. admittidly the sparkle thing is kinda gay but its also kinda neat in a way.

To me, you aren't doing a good job defending a film when you say "at least it aint John Carpenter's Vampires". That's like saying genital warts is good because it isn't H.I.V.

I have absolutely nothing against what they are attempting to do. Most Vampire lore in general has always been rooted as a cautionary tale in chastity. It's not that i'm a guy and don't understand why young women like it, I think highly of the films target audience, which is why i think they deserve something better than this. I think they deserve their leading lady to be something more than a wallowing girl who does anything the nearest alpha male tells her to do. It's hard to think of a worse role model for the target audience.

[TeawithBlood]

really i have to hear some ligitimate reasons for the hate of this series.
now i admit its not as good as say let the right one in or interview with the vampire but its way better than something like john carpenters vampires or any number of other vampire movies. its a love story not an action movie.

and what is wrong with a different take on vampires i kind of like that they dont burst into flames in the sun light. admittidly the sparkle thing is kinda gay but its also kinda neat in a way.

the werewolfs were out of control. they were easily as big as horses. which i didnt like IMO they should have to maintain the same mass.
The Twilight Series is very flat and uninteresting. I couldn't stop cringing at how boring the film was. New Moon could have been at best 45 minutes shorter if you took out all the long ass pauses and unneeded stare downs. I'll admit that as a female: I'm somewhat prone to romantic stuff. But this was just pathetic. There was nothing romantic about. Not even with forced comparisons with R&J.

And I'm sorry, NEVER should vampires sparkles. They don't got to go up in flames and such, but sparkle? Please. Its too My Little Pony for my tastes.

[jbar1026]

tweek
Seemingly every other page talks about Edward being beautiful.
-It's like nobody edited the damn thing! My grammar can be shit but it's better than what I read there.
-I thought I read a quote from Meyer saying that the skin is like diamonds. If the vampires have diamond skin how can regular fire hurt them?
-There's thesaurus abuse.
-Bella and Edward are boring.

im not really talking about the books just the movies. but im sure everything thats all true



APzombie

To me, you aren't doing a good job defending a film when you say "at least it aint John Carpenter's Vampires". That's like saying genital warts is good because it isn't H.I.V.

lol! i know. it was the only really shity vampire movie i could think of.


TeawithBlood
And I'm sorry, NEVER should vampires sparkles. They don't got to go up in flames and such, but sparkle? Please. Its too My Little Pony for my tastes.


like i said it is kinda gay

[drc5145]

-Seemingly every other page talks about Edward being beautiful.
-It's like nobody edited the damn thing! My grammar can be shit but it's better than what I read there.
-I thought I read a quote from Meyer saying that the skin is like diamonds. If the vampires have diamond skin how can regular fire hurt them?
-There's thesaurus abuse.
-Bella and Edward are boring.


And in terms of the film:

-The CG is pretty bad. New Moon's CG doesn't look any better, judging from the trailers.
-It's as deep as a puddle. 1/2 the movie is spent with them staring into each other

[MisterChristian]

...and as of Tuesday, it's worldwide box-office stands at: $296,774,318

[Z_oasis]

Before i posted i went back to read everyones argument of sort. Now heres my reasoning to see it.

My friend and i are big movie buffs and love to watch the best films to the crappiest (and talk/commentate while viewing the crap ones) So we went off to se Fantastic Mr. Fox yet we were late and the next one was in an hour and a half, so i said lets see what this New Moon thing is about. (Having bein forced to watch Twilight in the summer time cuz i dated a twihard, the relationship lasted 2 months.) Anywho, we go in and right off the bat.. WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE KIDS IN THE THEATRE. I mean from babies to 5 year olds. They were talking and making me laugh i just felt bad for the twihards. So the movie begins and its the same ol thing, bells n ed walk around, falling in love in every shot then he has to go? Ok, cool. Then comes Jacob, the nice guy who walks RIGHT INTO THE FRIEND ZONE!! I mean this is why i personally like Edward than jake, Edward keeps that classic guy where you treat the girl like a little girl, make her WANT you and etc then Jacob is that just friend guy whos always there. We already know that when u do this, the girl ALWAYS wears the pants, in this case, it is Bella, she bosses around Jacob like Edward does to her. I just found that pretty peculiar.

Anywho, as far as the movie was, i laughed and laughed more at the TERRIBLE dialogue. Kristen Stewart was TERRIBLE as fuck tho (then agian, 90% of the cast was) but shes the evil character IMO. I mean what the fuck was up with the Screaming and Crying every night. Not only was it depressing but just everything about it sends girls the wrong message. I just wanted Beyonce to come out and shove "Independent Woman" down her throat. Haha. But seriously. Its embarassing at times t watch the acting, and i dont know what to think when i thought R Pat was the better actor in the movie. Interesting.

So all in all, it was ok the first hour, boring the last, 2/5.
The End

[DarkElfa]

Well, it seems this has turned into the same thing as every single other Twilight thread outside of a Twilight fans site, namely its full of posts by people who are not fans of the subject matter but have all in some strange way (1. be it boredom, which seems like a perfectly reasonable excuse to drop 10-15 bucks on a ticket, wait what??!!, 2. curiosity to see if its better than the first one, must have been that boredom then too or my personal favorite and apparently the favorite of 90% of the haters who claimed to have seen it, 3. the good ol' "I went with my wife/girlfriend/my now ex, to make her happy" excuse) managed to see the film and now wish to post about how much they hated it.

I remember when the Twilight fans used to be present on sites like this before they were driven off by arm chair critics and nerd raging homophobes pissed that Hollywood would dare make a popcorn flick that wasn't aimed at their demographic. Also, just so we're clear, this isn't just the fault of men, their are also women involved in this, namely the hardcore fems who think that Twilight somehow sets back their cause by daring to show a woman with emotions and so much entrenched care about someone other than themselves that they let it cause them pain and the chicks who have been watching man flicks for so long its sucked any romantic views they once had right out of their very soul.

They used to come here but they stopped because they got verbally abused by other members for loving their film. On a movie site. Tis true and don't try saying it didn't happen. I've had it happen to me here. I tried to defend Twilight against a barrage of hate on this very site in the comments of a Twilight based article and got called everything from a fag to more than a fag and I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. I heard Captain say that it didn't happen here because our members were so much more mature but the fact is that it does happen here.

Yah, I know, its the internet but this is JoBlo, not 4chan for god-sakes. We should be more mature and any member should be free to discuss the merits of a film or its downfalls without being trashed. Maybe that's more tree in the forum than the comments section of JoBlo but it doesn't change the fact that on a major film site like this one, the only posters who have anything to say about a huge film release like this one (and its strong box office numbers back that up) are detractors and the very brave.

That said, the film isn't great but its not horribly bad either. I've seen much better and I've seen several magnitudes worse and even those have been given more respect. All I'm saying is be fair.

[LordSimen]

Darkelfa, you have made the fatal mistake of mistaking the comments section (or talkback/strikebacks as some like to call it) of Joblo with the Joblo message board. These are two VERY different animals. 90% of those who've registered on the site simply to comment on then news DO NOT participate in the actual message board and if they did, they would be banned by the way most of them behave. Make no mistake, Darkelfa, this board has it's fair share of Twilight haters, myself included, but none of us as far as I've seen has done anything even close to "driving off" the Twilight fanbase... Which, to be honest, you seem to be the only one I've even seen around here to begin with.

[DarkElfa]

Well, then I stand corrected. Perhaps the talkbacks should be guarded as well. It doesn't make much sense for people to be safe in the forums but allowed to be lambasted in the comments area of the same site. I was more referring to them as the ones driving off fans than yourselves. I thought that they were cared for by the same people, my mistake.

[Tweek]

I remember when the Twilight fans used to be present on sites like this before they were driven off by arm chair critics and nerd raging homophobes pissed that Hollywood would dare make a popcorn flick that wasn't aimed at their demographic.Even though I dislike the franchise I don't care if Twilight fans are here...as long as there isn't post after post of "Jacob was soooo hot." and the like.


Also, just so we're clear, this isn't just the fault of men, their are also women involved in this, namely the hardcore fems who think that Twilight somehow sets back their cause by daring to show a woman with emotions and so much entrenched care about someone other than themselves that they let it cause them pain and the chicks who have been watching man flicks for so long its sucked any romantic views they once had right out of their very soul.

I think you might have misunderstood why some women dislike the series. Bella is supposed to be extremely intelligent and mature for her age...but she wants to be turned into a vampire and give up her future for a man she's known for...not very long. Hadn't they only spoken maybe four times before she decided she was so in love with him? It's showing complete submission to a man as a wonderful thing and that sets women back.

I'm wondering how Bella is selfless? Please include something other than her devotion to Edward.



I tried to defend Twilight against a barrage of hate on this very site in the comments of a Twilight based article and got called everything from a fag to more than a fag and I don't even know what that's supposed to mean.

Yeah, the strike backs can get out of hand. I'm sorry. :( I'm not entirely sure how things are moderated there.

[Chillingworth]

There's oodles of movies out there with Stupidass Guy going dumbshit over Random Slut just based upon making eye contact with her. No one ever says shit about that. No one wonders what kind of example that sets for young teenage boys. Why not?

Anyway, I went and saw this heap of shit a few days ago because Dakota's in it, and goddamn did I regret that. She's only in it for a grand total of like two minutes, which were surrounded by approximately three hundred and seventy minutes of awfulness. At least that's what it felt like. That months-passing scene made me dizzy and I almost hurled and it was maybe one of the most annoying sequences ever laid to film. Emo McSparkles slow-mo'ing in a bowling shirt literally made me lol. Wolfdude was actually kind of cool in spots, but way too much of a pussy-whipped dumbass to carry the movie, especially considering how stupid obvious it is that he had no fuckin chance with Whiny Bitch. The effects sucked, so did the acting, and I can't even remember if there was a third act after Dakota left the screen. Or if there was a second act before that. It just sorta all runs together in a sloppy mess of retardation.

All that being said, I don't think anyone has a right to criticize a movie they haven't seen. That makes me sick. Bashing shit just because it's "cool" is just as dumb as digging shit just because it's "cool". I remember Chris Rock saying about the Spice Girls when they were popular (yes, it really happened kids) that they were like heroin. Everyone claimed to hate them, but millions of people were buying their CD's. This Twilight bullshit reminds me of that. There aren't 160 million dollars worth of teenage girls out there, someone else is seeing this crap. And no, my ten dollars didn't make the difference in it's blockbusterness, I mean there's A LOT of someone else's seeing this crap.

[Tweek]

There aren't 160 million dollars worth of teenage girls out there, someone else is seeing this crap. And no, my ten dollars didn't make the difference in it's blockbusterness, I mean there's A LOT of someone else's seeing this crap.

Yeah, some people who claim to hate the movies have gone to see them but there are also the fans who go see it multiple times.

[DarkElfa]

@Tweek, Other than Edward, I'm at a loss. Bella seems to be pretty stuck up her own ass other than her devotion for Ed. So Yeah, Maybe Selfless is not a good description. I have to say I was really grasping at straws with my reasoning for women not liking it since I don't understand women any better than most men. Hell, if I did I'd be a zadiggadiggadillionaire.

@Chilngsworth, I have a theory on that. See, before you said that some were bashing it because it was cool and I wasn't sure if you meant its popular so they were bashing it or they were bashing it because its considered hip to bash it right now. I'm voting the latter and I think on a lot of sites ATM, whupping up on Twilight movies, books and fans is the "in" thing. I think that 3 in every 10 people who bashes Twilight on the web has actually seen it, (see 3 man reasons further up the thread, 1.boredom, 2.curiosity, 3.chick made me do it) and 1 out of those 3 actually liked it secretly but is terrified to say so less he be torn to pieces by his friends whilst they howl in unabashed nerd rage.

Its a hard movie to like people and not so much because its bad as it just takes courage to admit it. The moment you open your mouth and utter the words "I enjoyed it", its like getting puked on by Boomer bile in Left 4 Dead. (For those not in the know, in Left 4 Dead if a Boomer pukes on you, every zombie in a 3 block radius comes sprinting to your face attempting to beat the stupid out of you) It just shouldn't be this hard to be a fan of a film that doesn't include child molestation by nazi clowns. If I told my brother I enjoyed Dakota's rape scene performance in Hound Dog, he'd look at me funny. On the other hand, if I told him I liked Robert Pattinson's performance in Twilight, he'd run me over with his car.

[SAI]

You can't say the performances were bad. You just can't.
Oh. I beg to differ. These paragraphs are taken from my review of the film, which you can read in full at my blog (www.24framez.blogspot.com)

The performances in New Moon are almost uniformly terrible. I’ve previously noted that Kristen Stewart strikes me as one of Hollywood’s most expressionless ‘talents’, well she outdoes herself here. Bella has two expressions ‘huh?’ and ‘can’t act, blinking’, both of which are rendered almost entirely in close up. The only emotion that Stewart registers is ‘scared’, never when it’s appropriate though, actually I think she’s just afraid of the camera. In a part that is supposed to overflow with emotion, Stewart’s total blandness, her utter vacancy, undermines every frame of New Moon. She reads every line with the same dead-souled lack of expression, the emotional content of her work redolent of an alien who has just landed and been handed a script. She either doesn’t understand the concept of what Bella is supposed to be feeling or, despite having been acting professionally for nearly a decade, she completely lacks the tools or the ability to portray any human emotion at all. I’ve seen a lot of movies, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a leading actress as consistently poor as Kristen Stewart.

Cinemas are apparently largely divided between two sets of fans ‘Team Edward’ and ‘Team Jacob’, two sets of teenage girls, each squealing for a different plank. Both Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are, I suppose, handsome but equally both appear utterly devoid of talent. Pattinson isn’t helped by his role, which is essentially to brood, largely as an apparition, but he doesn’t help himself by doing every scene with what appears to be a poor attempt at Derek Zoolander’s blue steel look on his face. One especially laughable moment comes as Edward tells Bella “This is the last time you’ll ever see me”. Clearly this line should be devastating for both of them, but Pattinson delivers it with all the weight you might employ to tell your wife that you are just popping down the shops, and Stewart receives it with an exquisite blankness, suggesting that she can’t choose between ‘huh?’ and ‘blinking’ for this important moment. If Pattinson acts with his… nothing, Taylor Lautner does at least go one better, he lets his (mightily impressive) abs do the acting. His abs, sadly, utterly fail to deliver any sense of the longing his character is supposed to feel for Bella, or the conflict between that and his true wolf (read gay) nature. For such a major character, with such extensive screentime, Lautner’s abs contribute very little.

[LordSimen]

There's oodles of movies out there with Stupidass Guy going dumbshit over Random Slut just based upon making eye contact with her. No one ever says shit about that. No one wonders what kind of example that sets for young teenage boys. Why not?

90% of the time that story ends with the guy realizing that the girl he oogled at wasn' the right one for him, and the one whose been by his side since the beginning was in fact the one who truly loves him. So I'm not exactly sure what your point here is. The guy has a story arc, he learns something. Here there is none. Bela goes from obsessed over man to obsessed over man without any progression through out. She's doesn't learn that she doesn't need a guy to survive, she doesn't learn that perhaps this other guy is actually the guy who loves her, she doesn't do anything. She has no arc.

[DarkElfa]

Oh. I beg to differ. These paragraphs are taken from my review of the film, which you can read in full at my blog (www.24framez.blogspot.com)

The performances in New Moon are almost uniformly terrible. I’ve previously noted that Kristen Stewart strikes me as one of Hollywood’s most expressionless ‘talents’, well she outdoes herself here. Bella has two expressions ‘huh?’ and ‘can’t act, blinking’, both of which are rendered almost entirely in close up. The only emotion that Stewart registers is ‘scared’, never when it’s appropriate though, actually I think she’s just afraid of the camera. In a part that is supposed to overflow with emotion, Stewart’s total blandness, her utter vacancy, undermines every frame of New Moon. She reads every line with the same dead-souled lack of expression, the emotional content of her work redolent of an alien who has just landed and been handed a script. She either doesn’t understand the concept of what Bella is supposed to be feeling or, despite having been acting professionally for nearly a decade, she completely lacks the tools or the ability to portray any human emotion at all. I’ve seen a lot of movies, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a leading actress as consistently poor as Kristen Stewart.

Cinemas are apparently largely divided between two sets of fans ‘Team Edward’ and ‘Team Jacob’, two sets of teenage girls, each squealing for a different plank. Both Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are, I suppose, handsome but equally both appear utterly devoid of talent. Pattinson isn’t helped by his role, which is essentially to brood, largely as an apparition, but he doesn’t help himself by doing every scene with what appears to be a poor attempt at Derek Zoolander’s blue steel look on his face. One especially laughable moment comes as Edward tells Bella “This is the last time you’ll ever see me”. Clearly this line should be devastating for both of them, but Pattinson delivers it with all the weight you might employ to tell your wife that you are just popping down the shops, and Stewart receives it with an exquisite blankness, suggesting that she can’t choose between ‘huh?’ and ‘blinking’ for this important moment. If Pattinson acts with his… nothing, Taylor Lautner does at least go one better, he lets his (mightily impressive) abs do the acting. His abs, sadly, utterly fail to deliver any sense of the longing his character is supposed to feel for Bella, or the conflict between that and his true wolf (read gay) nature. For such a major character, with such extensive screentime, Lautner’s abs contribute very little.

With all due respect SAI, you can't quote yourself as proof that you're right about something. As far as any movie critic goes, sometimes they're right and sometimes they aren't. I almost always agree with what Ebert says but I've seen him so far off base at times I wondered if he actually saw the film he was reviewing. Like anything else, if you go into a film not interested and not wanting to like it, you won't. If you look for things to not like about it, you'll find them. You like many critics have picked out everything you didn't like here but haven't granted it any merits. Its called spin. Reporting on only those things that present the film in the way in which you want to see it presented. Hell, I could do the same thing with TDK and make it sound like a retard fest if I wanted and all without lying. In the end, any critic's review is personal opinion and while you're entitled to it, it doesn't in any way make it more important or true than anyone else's.

[SAI]

With all due respect SAI, you can't quote yourself as proof that you're right about something.
I wasn't. I was merely rebutting the idea that you can't criticise the performances. A flippant thing to do, sure, but I felt like making the point.

You like many critics have picked out everything you didn't like here but haven't granted it any merits.
In the full review I have noted the (few) positive elements of the movie, mainly a couple of (woefully underused) supporting performances.

In the end, any critic's review is personal opinion and while you're entitled to it, it doesn't in any way make it more important or true than anyone else's.
Agreed, and I don't feel I implied that my opinion is the be all and end all, simply an alternative that magicwizguy apparently doesn't believe is possible

[TeawithBlood]

90% of the time that story ends with the guy realizing that the girl he oogled at wasn' the right one for him, and the one whose been by his side since the beginning was in fact the one who truly loves him. So I'm not exactly sure what your point here is. The guy has a story arc, he learns something. Here there is none. Bela goes from obsessed over man to obsessed over man without any progression through out. She's doesn't learn that she doesn't need a guy to survive, she doesn't learn that perhaps this other guy is actually the guy who loves her, she doesn't do anything. She has no arc.

Oh so true.

[ilovemovies]

I think the acting is generally okay in these movies though both Pattinson and Lautner are iffy. I'm not gonna judge them until I see something else from them though.

Actually, judging from the trailer, it actually looks like Pattinson gives a pretty good performance in the upcoming movie Remember Me. So it might not be entirely fair to judge them on the Twilight movies alone.

I thought Billy Campbell was great as Bella's dad in the first movie. Sadly, he's completely wasted in New Moon and saddled with some pretty bad scenes in it too.

[dellamorte dellamore]

Positive elements for New Moon:

I don't have to watch it

Eventually it won't be playing in theaters

They aren't playing the trailers as much on television

I don't frequent places or hang out with people that obsess over it. ( would hate to be a male teen right now)

The series isn't as long as the Harry franchise, so there are only two more annoyances to go

I can always pop in Let the right one In when i want real Vamp fix

[JohnLocke2009]

Tagia_Romero, Twilight sets women pretty far back on its own. But this isn't a thread for that type of discussion.


Isn't Robert Pattinson's unwashed, unkempt hair dreeeeeaaaammmy? Ew.



http://www.joblo.com/forums/images/editor/insertimage.gif

Click the button that looks like that ^ and it should let you enter the image's url.

Do i have to have so many post first for i never get the stamp looking box when do the advanced edit options. I actually get no buttons i would normally in comingsoon.com which been there long time but everyone likes a change.

[Tweek]

try using this code for your image:

[WresBill]

I am not a fan, I saw the first one; liked it. I like every movie who's set up in a small community and I felt like Twilight had something special. Then I saw New Moon. It was horrible cinema, but I liked it. It's really, really not a good movie, but still, it was fun and in the same direction. BUT, after this experience, I will not go the theater once again for Twilight. The fans are hysterical. I would rather download it illegally or wait for the DVD.

6/10

[Dirtyfrog]

New Moon in 1 minute (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bXeQ7baYEE) :D

[TheRey]

Saw it this monday and well... it made Twilight (first movie) look good-ish.
I tried to go into the movies with a clear mind, not expecting crap... but...
The plot was terrible, the acting was terrible and it felt so rushed at the end it wasn't even funny. I get it, there's three (or four) books and the Volturi will surely show up more in the next, sigh, movie.
The way they portrait Bella should be an insult to women. Seriously. I get it that breaking up with someone you love is harsh and hurts alot, but the way they showed it in this film was almost parody material.
Only interesting part were the "were"wolfs. I kinda expected them to be wolf-sized but they were alot bigger then that so it kinda threw me off a bit. CGI was terrible.

2/10

One point for it being free, and one point for Ashley Greene.
Oh and the popcorn were alot better then usual. Really fresh and perfectly salty.

[BoxManShoes]

Teenagers are pathetic.

[Mr.HyDe807]

http://store.hijinksensue.com/product/team-edward-james-olmos-t-shirt

http://cache0.bigcartel.com/product_images/7382851/hijinks-ensue-edward-james-olmos-twilight-shirt-2.jpg

I caught this on CHUD.com for team Edward, hilarious. I put the link on top if anybody wanted to see the site that's selling these t-shirts.

...not spamming.....:)

[Tweek]

Haha. That is awesome. :)

[dannywalker17]

Taylor Lautner made Pattinson look like Marlon Brando.

He's pretty but his acting was terrible!

[Sigur509]

6/10

I do perfer the first one, but NM had some things about it I liked....but not much.

[Tweek]

I...found...a copy and watched it last night in a sleeping pill induced haze.

Funny movie. I thought the funniest part might have been that Bella actually had something to be afraid and torn up over (Victoria) and it doesn't affect her like her boyfriend leaving.

[TheRey]

I...found...a copy and watched it last night in a sleeping pill induced haze.

Funny movie. I thought the funniest part might have been that Bella actually had something to be afraid and torn up over (Victoria) and it doesn't affect her like her boyfriend leaving.

IMO, they should've played the Victoria-card abit more. Made her a real threat. Oh well, time to forget about this sappy goo and move on to new and (hopefully) better things. :P

[Puck Bond]

The Twilight Saga: New Moon(2009)-5/10...whiny, bloated and annoying sequel to the hugely popular film about young love between human and vampire. In this installment we see the young Bella Swan and Edward Cullen as a seemingly happy couple in love, but when an unfortunate incident occurs on Bella's birthday in becomes increasingly apparent that her closeness to Edward and his family is dangerous and could lead to her death. Fearing for her life Edward leaves her, leaving a huge whole in Bella's life. So she finds the comfort in the arms of Jacob, a younger guy who has issues of his own. My god this film was ridiculous...the first half of the film is so slow and melodramatic it felt like a bad after-school special. The ever twitchy and vague Kristen Stewart just got on my nerves as Bella...screaming in her sleep and trying to find something new to cling on to whether it be with Jacob, riding motorbikes or jumping off cliffs it just became annoying. Half way through I thought it started to get better with the obvious revelation of who is who, but even that faded with the ridiculous story of the "vampire royalty" called the Volteri(sp?)...cue Michael Sheen as head vampire(does he always turn up in these vampire/werewolf films) and a red-eyed, pale-faced Dakota Fanning..."pain!" lmao!!! I'm not a complete hater on Twilight....yes I've never read the books and I don't intend to, but I did enjoy the first film for what it was, but this really was an annoying mess of a movie. Yes girls will love it, because every dude in this movie takes off their shirt, but its not for me. Put it this way...I'd rather have seen "Face Punch" that sounded like a kickass action flick!