JoBlo needs your help for a tagline... (WIN a FREE SHIRT!)

[JoBlo]

Yes, we are finally going ahead with plans for merchandising for both the Arrow and JoBlo (basic items: t-shirts, mugs, mouse pads, etc...) and I need your help in deciding on a goddamn tagline for JoBlo's Movie Emporium. Picture this:

BACK OF T-SHIRT would say "JoBlo's Movie Emporium" on the top, followed by a picture of JoBlo sitting alone in a darkened room, on his bed, nachos by his side, a Coke and a remote control with some moonlight coming thru the window and a HUGE television set flashing a movie against him and the rest of the room (which is draped in movie posters, videos, other cool movie stuff...like any MOVIE GEEK'S ROOM!).

Under the picture, I'm looking for a tagline which would work on the T-Shirt. I mean, what would you like to see draped across your back... ? Here are some of my ideas, but please feel free to offer your own suggestions, and if I happen to pick yours...YES, I'll send you a FREE T-SHIRT, you beeyatch!!!

HELP ME, HELP YOU!!!

1) "A movie schmoe for life..."
2) "Where movie watching is a way of life"
3) "Are you talking to me?"
4) "What the f**k are you looking at?"
5) "The movie fan's love nest"
6) "F**k you, that's my name!"
7) "Movies, nachos and...more movies!"
8) "A place we all know and love"
9) "When hookers and alcohol simply aren't enuff"
10) "Life, love, movies"

[PackBacker]

"Where everyone knows Jan de Bont sucks ass." /ubb/wink.gif

"one movie site that doesn't blow" (you know play on the "blo" of "JoBlo"...nevermind!)

---ok, ok I'm tired. I'll think of some better ones tomorrow

Kick-ass. Can't wait to get a JoBlo shirt!

[Chilly721]

"Saturday Night Fever...Catch It!"

I'll think of some tomorrow. Must sleep now.

[Nightflyer]

"Im a Schmoe, you got a problem with that."

I like number 9

[Phydeault]

I would go with something like ...
(Not that one, but something similar ...)

Improving Springfield's workforce, one idiot at a time (The Simpsons)


... one flick at a time
... one bad movie at a time
... one critique at a time
...

Phydeault

[OBzilla]

how about you steal a line from a movie, something like:

Joblo's movie emporium - i'm your huckleberry (tombstone)

you tell 'em i'm coming, and joblo's coming with me you hear, joblo's coming! (tombstone)

i know movies (i know kung fu - the matrix)

we need reviews... lots of reviews. (guns, lots of guns - the matrix)

Everybody cool this is a movie site! (pulp fiction)

I love the smell of movies in the morning (apocalypse now)

more later...

~OB~
some say he's dead, but he lives on.

[OBzilla]

i thought this one was too good to wait:

every schmoe has his day

~OB~
you may have killed him
but his spirit lives on

[Terminator]

Along the lines that OBzilla started:

There's only two things I know, Jack and movies. And Jack ain't here. (Army of Darkness)

[Brock Landers]

Here's some ideas (that I realize are crap now that I posted them and had to come back and edit this post to include the fact that they are crap)

- "The Intriguing Story of Someone Who Refuses to Let Go of a Pipe Dream."

- "I don't want to win movie (site) awards. I want a picture that ends with a kiss and puts black in the books."

- "This movie (site) was shot in 3B - three beers - and it looks good, eh?"

- "We hope you enjoyed the beer, oh, like I mean the movie (site), eh."

- "The Best Movie (Site) Ever Made!" - Griffin Mill (Tim Robbins in "The Player")

- "I just wanted to make a film (site) that sucks 'em in...and after they spurt out that joy juice they just gotta sit in it... cause they can't wait to see what happens next"


[This message has been edited by Brock Landers (edited 01-25-2001).]

[JoBlo]

Hey Brockster....it's a T-Shirt...not a book, you bastage!!! /ubb/smile.gif Let's try to keep them short, concise, hip and sweet...

I personally like the play on movie quotes like "I love the smell of JoBlo in the morning" (OBzilla) or "He's the guy behind the guy, behind the guy" (Dr. Drew)...

C'mon you schmoes...whip out those CREATIVE STICKS!!

[ak]

" a geek in his natural habitat"

[Brock Landers]

"Joblo's Movie Emporium is even better than Battlefield Earth!"

[doctor drew]

Aight, here are my super duper ultra creative (not!) quotes:

1) "Like Movies? Then You’ll Love JoBlo.com" (my original slogan)

2) "I’m JoBlo, You F*ck With me, You F*cking with the Best” (Scarface homage)

3) "This is What Happens When You F*ck A Stranger in the Ass!" (Big Lebowski)

4) "JoBlo.com: More Addictive than Crack Cocaine" (catchy)

5) "Harry Knowles Can Kiss My Pasty White Ass" (my personal fave)

6) "Make Way For The Bad Guy" (Another Scarface homage)

7) "Look at this, OK? I want you to remember this face. This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy" (Swingers)

8) "JoBlo.com : We are so F*cking Money, Baby." (Swingers)

9) “I am Jack’s Fanatical Love for Movies” (Fight Club)

[Celestial-being]

De Bont can hold you prisoner. Joblo can set you free.

[edonline]

How about:

"Fight Reality. Watch A Movie."

"The Rules of JoBlo's Movie Chathouse --
1st RULE: You do not talk about the Chathouse.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about the Chathouse."

"Shut up and pass the popcorn..."

[Curiousalien]

IF YOU VISIT JOBLO WILL COME..... (field o dreams)

You are like a lost child wondering into a conversation.(big leb)

THERES AN EXIT!!!!! (simpsons)

yeah ok there among the worst here but i will try and think of better ones later.

[SirReel]

"Schmoes 'N The Hood"

"Whadda ya mean movies ain't real life?!"

"D'you see a sign on my front lawn says 'Dead Movie Geek Storage'?"

"Good, bad, I'm the one with the Nachos!"

[herculeez]

"No Introduction Needed..." (american psycho tagline, you could have the joblo logo on it aswell so people aren't as baffled as if you just left it with that quote)

"Like Battlefield Earth? Love Joblo!"

"If films be the food of love...watch on." (some shakespeare play, i think "twelfth night" not sure tho(exzept he says music instead of films))

"Mr.Blo needs you!" with cool joblo pic not with thumbs up but index finger pointing straight foward!

[herculeez]

i like suggestion 1 and 9 i also like nightflyers suggestion "Im a Schmoe, you got a problem with that."
thats a good one /ubb/smile.gif

[AlanisMan]

1) Get Blo'n
2) Who needs a girlfriend?
3) We're the Ebert & Roeper of Movie Critics
4) Movie info on the go? Go Blo!
5) Don't suck, Blo!
6) Never rent a movie like "The Postman" ever again...
7) For that obsessed movie geek in us all...
8) In JoBlo we Trust
9) Finally, something meaningful on the internet...
10) Get a peek at JoBlo

[daddiefatsacks]

'Ebert Who?'

[edonline]

A few more...

"JoBlo & The Schmoes -- The Few, The Proud, The Cinematically-Obsessed"

"JoBlo's Movie Chathouse -- Now in Technicolor and Sensurround!" (both are probably registred trademarks though)

"Putting the 'sin' back into Cinema"

"Proud To Have Failed The Hays Code" (for those Hollywood history buffs)

"Lights! Camera! Nachos!"

[alex hoeppner]

i just wanted to say my tagline to win a free t-shirt would be....

FREE T-SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!

just like that
thanxs

[Boon]

I am JoBlo's complete lack of surprise. (Jack, Fight Club)

When the milk turns sour joblo ain't the type of pussy that's going to drink it. (Lock stock and two smoking barrels).

Joblo he's the wool that's been pulled over are eye's. (Matrix)

The Joblo revolution.

Frankly Joblo I don't give a damn! (Gone with the wind)

I don't know I'm tired It was worth a shot>>>>>>>>

[TobyDammit]

I like number 9, it was cool LOL. Can't think of one right now, I just worked a 12 hour shift, can't see straight. Will think of one, something may come in my sleep...

[*veers*]

That’s all I ever eat

You’re an actor, act motherf**ker

Joblo, now that’s a f**king website

(Believe it or not, those 3 were inspired by True Romance)

Blame Canada

Just keep repeating, it’s only a movie website, it’s only a movie website

[bmain77]

It's aboot movies, hey! (got the whole canadian things going on here)

[chandler_bing905]

any critic who would you fight?
ebert, i'd fight roger ebert
good answer -joblo

Joblo the most intressting single serving crtic i've ever met

ebert, ebert has bitch tits
but joblo, he got balls

I am jacks favourite website

I want Bowel Cancer!
-joblo

You are not your &$%*#$@ khakis!
-joblo

how muh could you know about yourself if you've never been to joblos?

I havn't been *&$%^# like this since grade school! joblos movie emporium

this is your life... spare a minute goto joblos

after joblo everything in your life gets the volume turned down

man, he's got some *#@&#! up friends, funny though

defined by the choices he makes
-joblo

"He was born in a mental institution and he sleeps only one hour a night" -joblo

shmoes: his name is JOBLO! His name is
JOBLO!"


yeah i'm obsesed with fight club thats my excuse for all those quotes. sorry some are funny i think... hers a couple more.

someones on the web, someone serious (leon)

drugs,movies,shmoes
-joblo.com

[LarryS]

If it blows, you'll be the first to know.

[Mic]

Hey I'm new at this, so bear with me

"DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE???!!!"
joblo.com
(got that from Starship Troopers)

sorry a bit slow today

[retardinAz]

Damnit, Chandler!!! You took all the Fight Club ones. How about:

- And like that...He's gone.
- How do you shoot Joblo in the back? What if you miss?
- Jo used to be a fat guy, I mean Orca fat...
- Give me some F&*%$^# movies, you F&*%^$# C*$#SU%#@$ MOTHERF&*$#%!!!
- He'll flip ya. Flip ya for real.
- Groovy
- Hail to the King, Baby!
- Yo, She-Bitch, Let's Go.
- Trapped in Time, Surrounded by Evil, Low on Gas.
- He may take our lives, but he'll never take OUR FREEDOM!!!
- You know what they call Joblo in France?
- He is the motherf&^%*$# antichrist!
- Yes, the world is coming to an end.
- I am Martha Quinn's worst nightmare!
- Yes, we also have Porn. (my personal fave.)

[Brock Landers]

"Like EuroDisney except from Canada."

...more I think about it, guy behind the guy behind the guy, is the best so far...good job.

[SteveG]

This is my Sat. Night, I need you!!

[ak]

I have an astonishig one here...

No odd job, just joblo.

[OBzilla]

howz about:

FUCK THIS, IM GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

~OB~
More powerful in death

[JoBlo]

FUCK ME!!!! You guys are really coming up with some good ones, man!!! Gonna make this ultra-difficult for myself...

I'm gonna try to narrow it down over the weekend but please keep 'em coming. I might eventually pull a CHUD, and have a different quote on the various shirts (I think there will be 4 or 5 shirts in all). Man, there sure are some cool lines out there...

Thanks a bunch!!

[God]

JoBlo-When you absolutely, positively need to know the rating of every motherf**cking movie in the room, accept no substitutes.

[chandler_bing905]

lol hey retardinAz those were some really good quotes. i was gonan say some of those too like the usual supects ones and evil dead ones but i decided i had enough and stopped. all the quotes are good though
it'll be hard for joblo

[PackBacker]

"JoBlo.com- The only good thing to come out of Canada." /ubb/wink.gif


"JoBlo.com- You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." (Star Wars)

"Jan de Bont sucks ass."

"Roger Ebert once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti." (Okay, too long but I found it amusing)

"That movie has warped my fragile little mind" (Cartman in South Park)

[Terminator]

JoBlo.com - Better than shit on a stick.

[herculeez]

"Schmoe me, Schmoe you"

"There's no business like Schmoe-business"

"Blo me!"

[RASHID007]

I think I may have a few winners...

To quote another great Canadian like JoBlo, you could use...

"JoBlo.com, The BEST there is, The BEST there was, and the BEST there ever will be!"

or how about...

"Blo, JoBlo"

I'll try and come up with more later.

[justkidding]

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a schmoe.

[jackson13]

I got some.

"This is important, this means something." (kinda got the Close Encounters thing)

"These floors are dirty as hell, and im not gonna take it anymore!" (UHF thing)

"When you absolutly have to kill every muthafucka in the room, accept no substistutes" (Jackie Brown)

"Did your mother ever have any kids that lived?" (Stand by me)

"Rule #1, you do not talk about JoBlo" (Fight Club)

"Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?" (Batman)

"We all go a little mad sometimes" (Psycho)

"Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? JOOBBLOOOOOOOOOO!" (Kinda like Dumb and Dumber)

"Everybodys a suspect" (Scream)

"Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on" (Porkys)

and my original: "Joblo.com, the best fuckin site on the web"

[piroque]

joblo.com- We put the lick in the flick!

[ak]

Why do they call me Joblo? well its not cause of the movies..."

[HomerSimpson]

Ok these are pretty lame but they're the best I can come up with. Glad if I helped.

"We Got Movies"
or
"We Got Reviews"

"JoBlo: When a Trailer isn't Enough"

"The geek who became a schmoe. The schmoe who became a movie critic. The movie critic who defied Ebert."

"A Schmoe Will Rise"

"What we Watch in Life, Echoes in Eternity"

Ok, I'll stop with the Gladiator taglines /ubb/smile.gif

[RASHID007]

I like the Gladiator lines, those are good!

[DaN]

Here's a good one Joblo:

"Movies, Nachos, and Booze."

or revised:

"Movies, nachos, and booze. heaven"

[AlanisMan]

I've got some more...

1) A bum who had an plan, a plan that became an idea, an idea that became a web site.
2) We've got your box of chocolates right here.
3) Deliver yourself from swedish furniture
4) All the other movie sites are just gift shops, We're a freakin' emporium!
5) The Second Best Thing to do on a friday night.
6) You don't want to f**k with this site!
7) Don't Get a Life, Get JoBlo
8) JoBlo's Movie Emporium - A strip club for movie enthusists
9) Visit www.joblo.com, (http://www.joblo.com,) and the force will be with you.
10) Get your a$$ in this f***ing web site, now!

[Tyler Durden]

"Because a whore is more than 8 bucks for 90 minutes"

"Because you wanted a whore, but they aren't rated online and you only have 8 bucks"

"Because your friends want to see The Wedding Planner"

"Because you need to sound smart, even if you haven't seen it"

"Shop smart, shop S-MART, you know you get it"

-- More to come, Andrew "The Fro" Curran

[This message has been edited by Tyler Durden (edited 01-28-2001).]

[Tyler Durden]

"Nachos: If your eyes don't hurt, it's not the movies"

"32 oz. Soda: 30 parts water, 2 parts Mountain Dew"

"JoBlo, when you've gotta know"

"Arcades: Shimmering Omens. Nachos: Golden Bowls. Soda: The Cup of Christ. Movies: Life"

-- More to come, Andrew "The Fro" Curran

[This message has been edited by Tyler Durden (edited 01-28-2001).]

[chandler_bing905]

the ONLY place to see katie holmes naked!

the only good website on the internet that doesn't have "teen sex" in the address!

so what if their isn't any porn? there's shmoes!

Groooovy!

In Joblo we trusted

who you were at joblo wasn't who you were in the real world.

everythig from a diddled-eyed joe to a damned if I know.

Joblo, he gets paid by people to fuck guys up

ebert? I've got more taste in my penis!

Joblo: The Anti-Christ

i'm out again... i'll think of more though

[vahe]

Short, to the point, and in your face!!

R E V I E W T H I S !!!!

[DieHardBruceFan]

How about:
How about these taglines?
> 1. "MOVIES ARE OUR LIFE"
>
> 2. "WATCHING MOVIES TILL OUR EYES BLEED"
>
> 3. "FUCK BOOKS"
>
> 4. "GIVE ME MOVIES OR GIVE ME DEATH"
>
I want that T-shirt bad, man!

[God]

I Love That Last One: "Fuck Books"

I apologize ahead of time if someone already has something that i put down. I didnt read through all of them.

My new ones:
======
JoBlo.com: Accept No Substitutes
*
You mean you all visit this site voluntarily?!?
*
Montreal, We Have A Problem!
*
I Claim This Planet In The Name Of JoBlo!
*
JoBlo: Hey, He's Better Looking Than Nosferatu!
*
Ah My Schmoes, Welcome... To JoBlo.com! (jurassic park)
*
That'll Do Schmoe, That'll Do.
*
JoBlo.com: Would You Rather Be Watching Pro Wrestling?

[kerryanne]

here is my 2 cents worth...

"When the other critics blo...you can always count on Jo..."

"Joblo.com...your not in Kansas anymore."

"Are ya gonna be a schmoe, or a schmuck?"

thats about it for me...maybe I will think about it, and have more later.

[screamfan]

i cant think of any my self but my fave is Kerryanne's "When the other critics blo...you can always count on Jo..."

[JoBlo]

Wow......there are SERIOUSLY way too many good ones to choose from now, but I guess I'll have to widdle it down over the next day or so.....

Expect some FINALISTS up on a new post either tomorrow or Thursday. And you must all PLEASE help me to VOTE for a favorite...shit, this is gonna be tough!!

[Raena]

I agree with Screamfan, Kerryanne's is good:

"When the other critics blo...you can always count on Jo..."

[Brock Landers]

ditto on kerryanne's "blowing" comment...

[logy99]

how about


I'm a follower

[Witchproject]

Alright, here goes nothing....

When you have enough movies to get those ass grooves in your couch

JoBlo.com - Because some movies just blo.

I do believe they think I'm some sort of god

He likes his movies good, nachos warm, and his guys with abs

Who said anything about having a life?

Vader: Luke, I am your father. Luke: You said that last time. Vader: Oh, well JoBlo over there's your uncle. Luke: NOOO!!!

There are seven deadly sins: Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Lust, Pride, Sloth , and not going to JoBlo.com

Alright, I know these arent the best, but I had to contribute.

[The Handeman]

"Where movie watching is a way of life" THIS SOUNDS GREAT! I THINK U SHOULD GO WITH THAT JOBLO

[*veers*]

F**k you, You F**king F**k

-Blue Velvet