csmoose
07-20-2000, 05:51 PM
Hey guys. Thought ya'll might be interested in this snipit I just came accross. Apparently, someone within the Lucas camp leaked out part of E2's screenplay. I guess Lucas is finally taking notice of the bad buzz from E1 and he hired Quentin Taratino to do a rewrite on the script. Here it is...
INTERIOR: JEDI COUNSEL CHAMBER - DUSK
Yoda, Mace Windu and other council members sit broodingly in a semi-circle. Doors open with a whir. Obi-Wan enters leading Jar Jar.
OBI-WAN: Noble council, I've found my new apprentice - Jar Jar Binks.
Obi-Wan steps to the side and Jar Jar steps forward.
JAR JAR: Hi-de-ho! Meesa Jar Jar Binks and meesa train to be Jedi.
YODA: For 800 years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained-
MACE: (interrupting) And who is to have his lizard butt given a close shave by my light saber.
JAR JAR: (aside to Obi-Wan) Meesa no thinkin' that they a likin' me.
Mace stands and approaches Jar Jar. Jar Jar sneezes on Mace's robe.
MACE: I have this little enigmatic axiom memorized for this kind of situation. (profoundly) The path of the righteous Jedi is beset on all sides by the idiocy and clumsiness of damn-fool Gungans, and I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those sneeze on my cool-ass self.
Mace whips out his light saber and with one motion slices off Jar Jar's ears.
JAR JAR: Whatsa happenin' to meesa. Meesa can't hear a thing.
Jar Jar looks down at his ears on the ground.
JAR JAR: Hey, yousa slice of my ears. Meesa gonna kick your ass Mace!
Mace slices through Jar Jar's legs with another swift motion. Jar Jar falls to the floor still upright. Mace turns to go back to his seat.
JAR JAR: Oh, had enough, heh?
MACE: (turning around with fire in his eyes) You are indeed powerful as the emperor has foreseen, but look you dumb ass you've got no legs left.
JAR JAR: Itsa just a flesh wound.
Mace's arms flash and his light saber zings through the air impaling Jar Jar's skull. Mean while Yoda has been meditating and now perks up.
MACE: (to Yoda, apologetically) I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?
OBI-WAN: Master, do you think that was a bit unnecessary?
MACE: No, damn it. It was every bit necessary. Now you gonna pick up every last piece of brain and skull cause I'm a mushroom cloud laying mother. I am superfly TNT!
[This message has been edited by csmoose (edited 07-20-2000).]
INTERIOR: JEDI COUNSEL CHAMBER - DUSK
Yoda, Mace Windu and other council members sit broodingly in a semi-circle. Doors open with a whir. Obi-Wan enters leading Jar Jar.
OBI-WAN: Noble council, I've found my new apprentice - Jar Jar Binks.
Obi-Wan steps to the side and Jar Jar steps forward.
JAR JAR: Hi-de-ho! Meesa Jar Jar Binks and meesa train to be Jedi.
YODA: For 800 years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained-
MACE: (interrupting) And who is to have his lizard butt given a close shave by my light saber.
JAR JAR: (aside to Obi-Wan) Meesa no thinkin' that they a likin' me.
Mace stands and approaches Jar Jar. Jar Jar sneezes on Mace's robe.
MACE: I have this little enigmatic axiom memorized for this kind of situation. (profoundly) The path of the righteous Jedi is beset on all sides by the idiocy and clumsiness of damn-fool Gungans, and I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those sneeze on my cool-ass self.
Mace whips out his light saber and with one motion slices off Jar Jar's ears.
JAR JAR: Whatsa happenin' to meesa. Meesa can't hear a thing.
Jar Jar looks down at his ears on the ground.
JAR JAR: Hey, yousa slice of my ears. Meesa gonna kick your ass Mace!
Mace slices through Jar Jar's legs with another swift motion. Jar Jar falls to the floor still upright. Mace turns to go back to his seat.
JAR JAR: Oh, had enough, heh?
MACE: (turning around with fire in his eyes) You are indeed powerful as the emperor has foreseen, but look you dumb ass you've got no legs left.
JAR JAR: Itsa just a flesh wound.
Mace's arms flash and his light saber zings through the air impaling Jar Jar's skull. Mean while Yoda has been meditating and now perks up.
MACE: (to Yoda, apologetically) I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?
OBI-WAN: Master, do you think that was a bit unnecessary?
MACE: No, damn it. It was every bit necessary. Now you gonna pick up every last piece of brain and skull cause I'm a mushroom cloud laying mother. I am superfly TNT!
[This message has been edited by csmoose (edited 07-20-2000).]