Dehydrator
04-16-2001, 10:40 PM
Damm, it's 4 in the morning and I still can't get no sleep ( Joey Ramone's Death still fucks me up ). That's why I'm posting this right now:
Anthology flicks have become a rare thing today, ( with the exeption of "Campfire Tales). A few of them were on TV this week, so here's a little information on those I've seen:
1.Tales from the Darkside
Some semi-hot Woman has a little boy trapped and intends to cook him. To gain time for a pretty silly finale, he tells her three stories from a book called "Tales from the Darkside":
First one :
Two students and one of their sisters ( one of them is Christian Slater ) have ripped off another one ( blaming him anonymous, as a thief ). The guy's an Egypt freak, so guess what he summons to take revenge. Not very creepy, but kinda entertaining with a cool twist in the end. On a scale from 1-10 I'd give this movie a 6.
Second one:
Some old rich asshole hires a professional killer to erase a cat from this planet. Thing is, the cat is pretty smart, pretty deadly, and I found her pretty cool. Easily the best of the stories, not creepy at all but a whole lot of fun. The killer's ramblings about the cat are hiliarious. From 1-10: 8.
Third one :
Some artist ( who looks like Slater, but I don't think he is Slater ) witnesses the killing of one of his friends commited by a Gargolye ( have these creatures some sort of a historic background? You know, like Werwolves or Vampires? ). The Gargolye spares his Life, but he must swear to tell nobody. The weakest story, kinda boring for most of the time. But the finale was pretty cool ( but very predictable as well ). From 1-10 I say 5.
The dumb-ass finale of this movie sucks hard, but it's an OK timewaster. It's not scary of frightening and doesn't take itself too serious. 6,5.
2.Twice-Told Tales:
Three stories as well, each one starring Vincent Price.
First : Two old men discover a substance that can make people younger. Soon enough, they try to ressurect the dead. They wish they hadn't. Typical Hammer-style horror, sllooow moving but entertaining enough. From 1-10: 6
Second : It's acient Italy and one guy falls in love with a chic he sees in a garden. Her father ( Price ) will do anything to keep them apart, mainly because due to his fault, his daughter is half-poison-plant (should have tried Weed)and half-girl. Weakest one here, boring and sllooow again. 5
Third : Price comes to New-England to seek a treasure. The treasure is supposed to be in a dark, old, scary house. Nobody wants to go there, everyone's afraid. Why becomes clear soon enough. Cool ghost-story, with Price at his slimiest. The best one here. 8
Enjoyable if you like early horror. If you like price, see it anyway. 7
3.Dr. Terror's House of Horrors
Five strangers meet in a train. Along comes Peter Cushing as Dr. Terror ( wow, that's a name ). He lets them do some Tarot and tells them their supernatural fate:
First : Guy goes to Hungary to the House were his ancestors lived. By inspecting the cellar he finds the casket of a well-known Werwolf. Very cool story, a completely unexpected twist at the end. 8
Second: Guy gets home from the holidays, soon he finds his house under sieged by a man-strangeling plant ( it's not Weed ). Pretty weak one, features the guy who played M in James Bond. 5
Third: Musican goes to the Antilles and messes with Voodoo. Another fun episode, nothing much to say here. 7.
Fourth : Christopher Lee is an art expert, and he his a big asshole as well. He makes fun out of bashing an artist, which makes the artist commit suicide. But, his hand was never found... Now I know where Stone ripped it off. My favorite here, Lee is cool as always. Kick ass ending too. 9
Fifth : A doctor discovers a Vampire were he would least expect one. Good story also, like almost every story in this flick, a pretty cool ending twist that got my evil smile.
The conclusion for this movie is pretty good and kind of scary. It makes sense. It could be this way in Reality, if Reality had names like Dr. Terror. 8 for this one.
4.Black Sabbath
My fav. Anthology ever. Scared me to Death as a child, and almost the same yesterday night. Bava's make up and desigin should is Oscar-Material. Karlhoff is the narrator and also stars in one episode.
First: (called WURDELAK): A classic Vampire tale, I remember reading a short story by a russian writer somewhere, that could be the basic for this story. Karlhoff is great and the set desigins...SEE IT! 9
Second: (called A DROP OF WATER): Great story about post-mortem Revenge. features the scariest, most nightmare-inducing sequence I've ever seen. Ever. Make-Up is wonderful on this one, I had nightmares for two years. 10
Third: (called TELEPHONE ) : not bad, but a bit of a letdown, rather X-Factor-style but still offers some suspense. Kind of hard to descripe, so I won't even try. 6
If for nothing else, see it for A DROP OF WATER. But if you dig classic horror, you'll like the rest as well. Overall, 9 ( a damm near personal classic ).
So that's it. Maybe this is of interest for someone, maybe it's not. I hope I can sleep now but the 3 Ramones CDs in my Player won't make it easier. I for one, would love to see some Anthology movies in this millenium.
Anthology flicks have become a rare thing today, ( with the exeption of "Campfire Tales). A few of them were on TV this week, so here's a little information on those I've seen:
1.Tales from the Darkside
Some semi-hot Woman has a little boy trapped and intends to cook him. To gain time for a pretty silly finale, he tells her three stories from a book called "Tales from the Darkside":
First one :
Two students and one of their sisters ( one of them is Christian Slater ) have ripped off another one ( blaming him anonymous, as a thief ). The guy's an Egypt freak, so guess what he summons to take revenge. Not very creepy, but kinda entertaining with a cool twist in the end. On a scale from 1-10 I'd give this movie a 6.
Second one:
Some old rich asshole hires a professional killer to erase a cat from this planet. Thing is, the cat is pretty smart, pretty deadly, and I found her pretty cool. Easily the best of the stories, not creepy at all but a whole lot of fun. The killer's ramblings about the cat are hiliarious. From 1-10: 8.
Third one :
Some artist ( who looks like Slater, but I don't think he is Slater ) witnesses the killing of one of his friends commited by a Gargolye ( have these creatures some sort of a historic background? You know, like Werwolves or Vampires? ). The Gargolye spares his Life, but he must swear to tell nobody. The weakest story, kinda boring for most of the time. But the finale was pretty cool ( but very predictable as well ). From 1-10 I say 5.
The dumb-ass finale of this movie sucks hard, but it's an OK timewaster. It's not scary of frightening and doesn't take itself too serious. 6,5.
2.Twice-Told Tales:
Three stories as well, each one starring Vincent Price.
First : Two old men discover a substance that can make people younger. Soon enough, they try to ressurect the dead. They wish they hadn't. Typical Hammer-style horror, sllooow moving but entertaining enough. From 1-10: 6
Second : It's acient Italy and one guy falls in love with a chic he sees in a garden. Her father ( Price ) will do anything to keep them apart, mainly because due to his fault, his daughter is half-poison-plant (should have tried Weed)and half-girl. Weakest one here, boring and sllooow again. 5
Third : Price comes to New-England to seek a treasure. The treasure is supposed to be in a dark, old, scary house. Nobody wants to go there, everyone's afraid. Why becomes clear soon enough. Cool ghost-story, with Price at his slimiest. The best one here. 8
Enjoyable if you like early horror. If you like price, see it anyway. 7
3.Dr. Terror's House of Horrors
Five strangers meet in a train. Along comes Peter Cushing as Dr. Terror ( wow, that's a name ). He lets them do some Tarot and tells them their supernatural fate:
First : Guy goes to Hungary to the House were his ancestors lived. By inspecting the cellar he finds the casket of a well-known Werwolf. Very cool story, a completely unexpected twist at the end. 8
Second: Guy gets home from the holidays, soon he finds his house under sieged by a man-strangeling plant ( it's not Weed ). Pretty weak one, features the guy who played M in James Bond. 5
Third: Musican goes to the Antilles and messes with Voodoo. Another fun episode, nothing much to say here. 7.
Fourth : Christopher Lee is an art expert, and he his a big asshole as well. He makes fun out of bashing an artist, which makes the artist commit suicide. But, his hand was never found... Now I know where Stone ripped it off. My favorite here, Lee is cool as always. Kick ass ending too. 9
Fifth : A doctor discovers a Vampire were he would least expect one. Good story also, like almost every story in this flick, a pretty cool ending twist that got my evil smile.
The conclusion for this movie is pretty good and kind of scary. It makes sense. It could be this way in Reality, if Reality had names like Dr. Terror. 8 for this one.
4.Black Sabbath
My fav. Anthology ever. Scared me to Death as a child, and almost the same yesterday night. Bava's make up and desigin should is Oscar-Material. Karlhoff is the narrator and also stars in one episode.
First: (called WURDELAK): A classic Vampire tale, I remember reading a short story by a russian writer somewhere, that could be the basic for this story. Karlhoff is great and the set desigins...SEE IT! 9
Second: (called A DROP OF WATER): Great story about post-mortem Revenge. features the scariest, most nightmare-inducing sequence I've ever seen. Ever. Make-Up is wonderful on this one, I had nightmares for two years. 10
Third: (called TELEPHONE ) : not bad, but a bit of a letdown, rather X-Factor-style but still offers some suspense. Kind of hard to descripe, so I won't even try. 6
If for nothing else, see it for A DROP OF WATER. But if you dig classic horror, you'll like the rest as well. Overall, 9 ( a damm near personal classic ).
So that's it. Maybe this is of interest for someone, maybe it's not. I hope I can sleep now but the 3 Ramones CDs in my Player won't make it easier. I for one, would love to see some Anthology movies in this millenium.