View Full Version : Got a game to test the creativity of the shmoes creativity.Horror story- go-round
07-28-2001, 02:57 PM
Lets see what kind of story we can make together.Ill start the story by writing the opening and well take turns adding short paragraphs and see where the story ends up and if we can actully make something original. Rules:
Keep it to short paragraphs
Keep it horror based
"On a saturday evening Mike is sitting on the couch watching a movie .His wife asks when hes going to bed and he says after the next movie. So his wife Lisa goes to bed. Later that night around 2:50 am Mike hears loud thumping up and down the apartment halls. Back and forth up and down. Cautiously he gets up and goes to his door and looks through the peephole......
07-28-2001, 03:08 PM
". . . .but sees nothing. He questions himself, whether or not his mind is playing tricks on him. He looks out again, just to make sure, but still, nothing there. He walks up the creaky hallway back to his warm bed with his wife."
07-28-2001, 03:13 PM
" And then his wife turns to kiss his wife goodnight. But she is a zombie and tries to eat Mike's brains! So Mike Pulls out his shotgun and blows off her fucking head."
07-28-2001, 03:24 PM
... and so ZombieJason ruins a perfectly good story...
07-28-2001, 03:30 PM
Antonio Del Lago
07-28-2001, 05:04 PM
Someone always has to ruin a good thing. Always one bad apple.
07-28-2001, 05:17 PM
Lets start over someone else start a opening, I really want to see the shmoes creative side where all horror fans so lets start putting our ideas together see what we come up with
07-28-2001, 05:39 PM
" When Eric and Tammy arrived at the cabin they were ready for a weekend of fun. Little did they know that the man they rented the keys from was hanging in the basement...
07-28-2001, 06:39 PM
Tammy and Eric go to there to unpack there stuff. Eric keeps looking at his watch wondering why his brother and sister-in-law Steve and Macy are late. "Damn" says Mike its already 3:00 in the afternoon where are they they should of been here a hour ago.Macy says theyll be here lets go down to the river and take a dip its a hot summer day....
07-28-2001, 08:39 PM
Eric says " I swim in swimming pools babe." In busts and old man into the cabin, points a shotgun at the couple says "It's ok, it's alright, there's something to live for, Jesus told me so."
07-28-2001, 08:39 PM
they run into a tall man on their way down to the lake who says that he and his wife live down the lake in their cabin, and that they should visit him. They have mixed feelings about this man and proceed into the lake... (cool story so far, let's keep this unpredictable!)
07-29-2001, 10:32 AM
lets keep this going!
07-29-2001, 10:56 AM
Eric and Tammy go swimming in the lake. Tammy says, "I think someone else is in this lake with us." Eric says "Why?" "Because I just heard someone jump in". says Tammy. Then Eric feels something underwater pulling his leg.
07-29-2001, 12:14 PM
All of a sudden Eric is yanked under water and Tammy starts screaming. Tammy starts swimming real fast towrads the beach . When she get to the beach and the man with shotgun is standing there., Tammy screams dont shoot me. Then the man pionts the gun at her and click, a flag pops out the end of the gun that says pop, and Eric pops out the water luaghing.The man takes off a old man mask and its Macy, Eric and Steve come swimming up laughing telling Tammy sorry baby it was just a joke. Tammy thinks to her self.....
07-29-2001, 02:21 PM
Freaking idiots. She knew she'd heard that "Jesus told me so" line before...That short film Eric's weirdo friend Mark had made called COVEN or something. Thank God Mark didn't accept the invitation to come out this weekend, that guy gave her the creeps with all his TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE worshipping blather. Damn, these guys were influenced by some weird sh*t. Well, if this is how the weekend was gonna go, she might as well come up with some funny little games of her own. Just to stay even with these turkeys. Pull a little BLAIR WITCH or EVIL DEAD on their asses, they should appreciate that. Fug it, if Eric wanted to make her sit through all his idiot horror flicks, she might as well utilize her newly acquired (and theretofore useless) knowledge. She smiled sheepishly, still fuming on the inside. Perversely, her anger was tempered by a fluttery, nervous but not altogether unpleasant, feeling in the pit of her stomach. She was getting a little excited about the possibilities inherent in this little game they'd started, warming to a rather vicious plan to turn the tables on the jerks. She was so pleased with herself, and the others still gloating over their successful prank, none of them took any notice of the swarthy and repellent shapes which skittered through the trees on the other side of the river.
07-29-2001, 02:32 PM
As Tammy's eyes adjusted to the daark wood, she saw a figure emerging from the shadows. It appeared to be another tall man, identical to her friend's prank, staring at her.
"Ok guys," she said angrily, "who did you get to play dress up now?"
The rest of the friends look at each puzzled and then Eric asks "What do you mean Tammy?"
"Over there in the woods..." she reponds, but as she turns and looks into the woods, there is no one. "Come on guys, this isn't funny anymore. Who was it?"
They all look at here strangely, and then Eric spots something lying in the grass by the first row of trees of the woods. No one can barely hear him speak when he says "Ph my god, what is that?"
[This message has been edited by edonline (edited 07-29-2001).]
07-29-2001, 07:59 PM
This si getting good lets keep it going
07-30-2001, 10:12 AM
... we see lying there a bloody peice of glass. They start getting creeped out and run into the cabin. They shake it off and decide to have some fun. Tammy then takes Eric to the back room and they start tot put a prank together... later that night when Steve is coming intot the kitchen... a figure in the old man mask bursts through the pantry door with a piece of bloody glass. He screams, but only from surprise. Eric takes off the mask and starts laughing at him. Steve pushes him over. Eric tells him it was just a joke, and pushes him backwards. Eric is about to turn around when steve trips on a wire on the floor and falls backwards-- in a broken pane of glass that Eric had gotton the weapon from. He screams in agony as he falls through the glass slicing up through him as he decends onto the ground. Tammy comes out and sees Eric staring at the scene... the laughter immediately turns to fear... they look at each other...
"what are we gonna do?"
07-30-2001, 10:37 AM
how about a couple of us schmoes write a script or something and we use the best one to see what we can do with it?
07-30-2001, 12:05 PM
"Oh my god," Tammy cried, looking down at the blood that was steadily spreading from the shard of glass. "We've got to do something."
Eric knelt down beside the body. HE could instantly feel the blood being absorbed by his jeans. "God, there's so much of it," he thought. Steve's eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily.
"Steve, can you hear me?" he asked.
At the sound of his friend's voice, Steve's body began to convulse. Maybe it was the panic, but Eric could swear that Steve looked different. His face appeared to be changing...
It was only a few seconds after the convulsions started that they stopped and now Eric was looking into the face of someone who wasn't his friend. It was an old man. Just as Eric was trying to sort everything out, the old man's eyes popped open and in a low, sinister voice, the man whispered "Kill me once, kill me twice. Now it's my turn to slice and dice."
[This message has been edited by edonline (edited 07-30-2001).]
07-30-2001, 12:57 PM
"Jesus fucking christ!" shouts eric before jumping up and kicking the old man in the temple, killing him instantly. Tammy continues crying in the corner. "What do we do?" she gasps in between sobs. "Pull yourself together." says eric. "Lets think here. If we go to the cops, they'll think that i'm a total nutbar, they'll lock me up and throw away the key. We've gotta get rid of the body. Get up, take his legs. I'll get his head. Macy! get the door!...
"Wait a minute" Eric says. "Where's Macy?"...
07-30-2001, 04:37 PM
... Eric looks around him, but Macy is gone. He's about to go into the living room, but he can't leave the body. He looks down to see that it's Steve again, face pale, blood leaking from his mouth. He picks it up by the feet and drags it into a closet. he shuts the door and takes Tammy into the living room. No one's there.
"What are we gonna do, Eric?"
"I don't know... Wait! Remember that man we ran into at the lake? He said that he had a cabin just down the lake! Maybe he can help us..."
07-30-2001, 06:38 PM
this is cool letz keep it going
07-30-2001, 06:49 PM
"Right," Tammy says, and she and Eric set out for the old man's cabin. Halfway down, however, a loud noise came from the lake. Eric turned his head and squinted to see the commotion but failed to do so.
As Eric began walking in towards the lake, Tammy grabbed his arm and said, "Come on, let's get to the cabin quickly!" Eric turned around and said, "Everything will be all right. I'm really fuckin' confused right now, but --".
His sentence was cut off when he saw the horrified expression on Tammy's face. Eric quickly turned around and...
07-30-2001, 07:08 PM
and there stands MACY! She stares at them through the silence and then mutters the words in a voice that couldn't be her's...
"Everyday it's all the same down here... get out of here now or else you'll die... he's coming for you now..."
Blood seeps out of her mouth and she lifts her head up to reveal half of her face mangled. She then drops down to the ground, her back completely ripped open, motionless...
[This message has been edited by JasonSlasher (edited 07-30-2001).]
07-31-2001, 12:38 AM
This is getting fuckin creepy LOL
07-31-2001, 04:15 PM
Eric and tammy panic and sprint to the old mans cabin hoping he can help them.Wen they reach the cabin they knock on the door and yell for the old man to please let them in. no answer. Eric slowly opens the door himself to reveal...
07-31-2001, 04:44 PM
Nothing. As Eric opened the door more, he and Tammy discovered that the cabin was completely bare. No furniture, no carpets, no sign of life anywhere.
Eric and Tammy walked into the cabin in stunned silence. He walked over to a window to the far right and discovered that the locks had been ripped off. Eric checked all the other windows in the room; all of them had the locks ripped off.
Eric became even more dazed. He turned around to meet Tammy at the door...but she was nowhere to be found.
07-31-2001, 04:53 PM
"Tammy?!" Eric cried out to no response. She couldn't have walked out, he though to himself, since he was standing closest to the door.
As he walked towards the door, something caught his eye on the floor. There was a piece of paper. He picked it up and turned over the yellowed paper, revealing an old photograph, the men and women dressed in clothes from a long time ago. He took a long look, not believing his eyes.
It couldn't be, standing in the picture, holding hands was the old man and Tammy.
[This message has been edited by edonline (edited 07-31-2001).]
07-31-2001, 11:36 PM
What the fuck, thats weird, this is a good story so far.
08-01-2001, 12:15 AM
Eric stared at the picture, petrified at the sight which lay in his hands. He dropped the photograph to the ground and backed up against the wall. Eric sunk down to the floor, with his head in his hands, a thousand thoughts going through his head at once.
There was a knock at the door behind him. Eric looked up and saw Tammy, with a plain expression on her face.
"What's the matter, Eric?" Tammy said, as Eric scooted further away. He pointed to the photograph on the floor. Tammy picked it up, looked at it, and...
08-01-2001, 10:55 AM
Tammy looked at the photograph and then up at Eric. "What is this?" she asked, the photo trembling in her hands.
As she took another look the photo, Eric couldn't believe what he was seeing. Tammy's clothes, her hairstyle began to change. It was like watching two images on top of each other as one became clearer.
Eric moved closer to the door as the transformation went on. Tammy's entire complexion started to yellow and fade, much like the image in the picture.
"Eric," Tammy whispered. "Help me."
Her voice sounded miles away, and as she reached out to him, her touch felt cold.
"Tammy!" Eric screamed as she faded even further away. Her voice was fading as well, and with a sound no louder than a whisper said "Go find Steve. He holds the key."
08-01-2001, 11:56 AM
Eric ran as fast as he could back to the cabin. He flew through the door to the kitchen and stopped abruptly when he saw Steve's body sitting in a chair. Blood had begun to pool around his feet, the glass shard lying on the ground. His head limp to the side.
"What the hell?" Eric asked himself as he slowly moved towards Steve. When he got about a foot away, Steve raised his head slowly.
"Sorry about the mess," he said, his head still cocked to one side. "I'll help you clean that up later."
Eric put his hands to his face. This could not be happening, he thought.
"I also took the glass out," Steve said. "Made it difficult to move around. You'd better get rid of that though before someone else gets hurt."
"What's going on here?" Eric asked aloud. This couldn't be joke, he thought, not after all that he had seen so far. And the blood that was coming out of the wound in Steve's chest looked too real.
"Sit down," Steve said, feebly motioning to a chair with his hand. "Sit down and I'll tell you a story."
08-01-2001, 06:09 PM
"There used to a town three miles from here. My wife and I had lived there for our whole lives. They were just putting in these cabins then. This was going to be a whole campground. We were planning to stay in one of these cabins, since we were so close. Well, one day we went down to the cabins to talk to the owners about it... and we heard them talking from outside. The owner of the cabins was talking to two dirty young men. They were talking about this town... talking about turning it into a huge campground. They were going to invade it... it was such a small town... and this was so long ago... they were going to force everyone to leave. We were worried. My wife was carrying our only son, and he was due to be born anytime. The next thing I knew, we were dragged away by those men while the owner and his wife just sat there, watching. They took us out into the woods, cut up my wife, and buried me alive, tied to her, right under this cabin. They took over the town and everybody was left homeless... and the blood of my wife was kept secretly hidden away in one of the cabins. Then I grew. I grew inside of my wife's blood... our unborn child... in hell... our hell... with you and Helen."
"Helen... you mean... Tabby..."
His teeth turn to fangs, and he makes a growling noise. He starts to speak again, but in Steve's voice.
"We're coming for you Eric. Who's the joke on now?"
Suddenly he finds himself in the other cabin... but with the body of the man he ran into at the lake hanging from the ceiling and his wife lying cut open on the floor...
08-03-2001, 11:42 PM
"Oh...my...god...", Eric tried to say between horrified gasps. The bodies lay in front of him like gruesome statues, their faces transfixed in expressions of terror.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Eric yelled out loud. A sinister snicker echoed throughout the cabin, coming from all directions, causing Eric to feel dizzy and perplexed.
"You are next," the deep, gravelly voice called out. "You are next. You are next." Before he could flip out, Eric fled the cabin and ran down a path ahead of him. He ran without knowing where he was going; he just ran to get away from the voices.
After about five minutes, Eric began to get winded. By now, he was hopelessly lost in the woods. Eric called out, "Hello!", but to no avail. Then he heard some rustling behind him. Eric turned around.
Nothing was there.
He heard some more rustling behind him again. He turned around.
Nothing was there.
Eric fell to his knees on the ground and began to sob. All of a sudden, behind him, the rustling returned. Only this time, it sounded quicker...faster...stronger.
Eric turned around and was horrified to see...
08-14-2001, 07:57 PM
...a little boy, no more than 3 or 4 years of age. His head was off centered some how. Eric is appauled.
"Are you Ok? What is your name? We have to get out of here!"
The sweet innocent looking boy shyly speaks out in a cute, childish voice, "My name is Edmund." Suddenly his voice changes tone. He croakes out in a demonic evil voice, "My daddy sure is mad at you."
Eric than sees the problem with his head. At the neck, is shredded rotten skin flapping open to reveal torn arteries,veins and muscles, bones stick jaggedly out of the mangled gash in his thin weak neck.
The boy turns his head to look deep into the woods.
The voice transforms back to the little squeak, "Here he comes!"...
08-14-2001, 08:31 PM
All of a sudden the little boy disappears. But Eric does hear footsteps coming through the woods. He glances around fro weapons, eventually settling on a large stick. He picks it up and holds it up, glancing around to see where his attacker is coming from when all of a sudden...
[This message has been edited by ArmyJacket (edited 08-14-2001).]
08-14-2001, 09:07 PM
...and there stands the young version of the old man and Tabby walking through the forest. Only one cabin stands and we realize... we're back in time!
08-14-2001, 09:34 PM
Eric closes his eyes and starts to sob, scared out of his mind. He doesn't know what's going on and it's confusing him.
"Eric... Eric, it's me Tammy. Look at me..." said a voice.
Eric opens his eyes as he says in question, "Tammy? Oh god, Tammy. Is that you?"
"Yes, it is me Eric. Look at me..."
Eric looks up at her recognizing her colthes and her body but he screams when he looks at her face because all that's there is a skull. The skull then sets to flames and the body falls to the floor. Eric backs up but he's now finds himself walking into the cabin where the events took place.
A deep voice then says, "She's no longer yours."
Eric looks around scared and backs up slowly. He looks around frantically, looking very tense and breathing hard. He is caught off guard by a simple window blowing open. He begins to roll down the stairs to the cellar and bangs his head on what felt like a pair of shoes. He lands flat on his face. He looks around quickly, smelling the smell of rotting flesh. He looks up and sees where the smell is coming from. The guy who had rented them the cabin, his body hanging from a rope attached to a beam in the cellar ceiling. Eric stands up quick and looks at the body. He notices something in the pocket and he pulls it out to reveal...
08-14-2001, 10:05 PM
The same picture of Tammy and he man. Only this time, the little boy is in the picture holding by a clump of hair, eric's own severed head! He drops the photo when suddenly, a hand next to him roughly grabs his neck and clenches hard. Eric looks up while choking to see that the old key keeper had been replaced by the ghost of the old man.Eric frantically tries to pull away but the grasp only tightens. On the ground a few feet away, he spots a sharp pointed fallen water pipe...
08-14-2001, 10:11 PM
Eric can't reach the pipe since he is being choked. He looks into the old man's pocket and spots a key. He grabs the key and shoves it into the old man's eye. The old man screams and holds a hand to his eye and pulls out the key, grunting in pain. Eric grabs the pipe and shoves it through the old man's stomach. He then sees the old man spasm, then die. He looks up and sees it's the key keeper's body again and not the old man's. Eric then shouts out, "What the fuck is going on here?!"
08-14-2001, 11:28 PM
Eric looked around the darkened room and could see a dark puddle coming from the corner. As his eyes adjusted, he could see Steve standing in the corner, blood pooling at his feet. Steve, trying to hold his unsteady head, said "Did you ever hear that old saying..."
Eric backed himself to the walk of the cabin.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it?" Steve continued. His head dropped and he slowly raised it until he was looking at Eric again. His eyes were yellowing.
"After the violent deaths which started all the horror here, the souls couldn't stay at rest.
"Everyone who came here found them themselves touched in some way. Bad thoughts, evil deeds. My family didn't believe the stories when they rebuilt the cabins as a summer place."
"Steve, what... what the hell does that have to do with all of this?" Eric yelled.
"Those original deaths were caused by my great-grandfather. He ordered those people originally living here killed and buried.
"I thought that maybe coming back here, I could change some of the bad karma but it looks like I've made things worse."
Steve staggered across the floor, his left leg dragging behind him.
"By coming back to this place, I seem to have brought my family back."
Steve fell to the floor in a bloody heap, as Eric noticed something move in the doorway of the cabin.
[This message has been edited by edonline (edited 08-15-2001).]
[This message has been edited by edonline (edited 08-15-2001).]
08-14-2001, 11:49 PM
Eric looked at himself for a minute, then looked at the doorway. The door slammed open and a shadowy-like image flew at him. Eric screamed and looked away. After a few minutes, he stopped. He opened his eyes and then looked at himself. He had become an old man. He wasn't the old man he had seen, but Tammy's husband. The old man after them was Steve's great grandfather. He realized the picture he just found was telling him he was no longer to be Eric but to be Tammy, now Helen, 's wife. He realized he desceneded from that kid in the woods which him and Tammy were originally going to have in their past life. He now also realized the kid in the woods didn't want to hurt him but giving him more of a clue for Eric to do what he should do. Become his ancestor and stop the evil happenings from repeating themselves. Eric was determined to defeat this now, and to save Tammy. Eric looked over to Steve's body which once again sprung back to life, but changed into Steve's great grandfather.
"You won't save her this time, Kenneth," said Steve's great grandfather.
Eric looked over and saw Helen tied up and ready to be killed. Eric stood his ground.
"I won't let you kill her again. Not this time."
08-14-2001, 11:51 PM
(This story is kinda like "Sometimes They Come Back")
08-14-2001, 11:53 PM
(Oh yeah. To explain what the little boy said in the woods, he meant that his previous life as that kid's dad, aka Helen's husband, was mad that he didn't know what to do and that he wasn't trying to pervent the happenings from happening again.)
08-14-2001, 11:55 PM
(And in that last post, when I said that his previous life as the kid's dad, I meant Eric just to clear that up.)
08-14-2001, 11:58 PM
(Opps, spelling errors. Where it says the picture was telling him to no longer be Eric but Tammy's, now Helen, wife, it should say husband instead of wife. LOL! Sorry for the fuck-ups tonight!)
08-15-2001, 03:56 PM
"I know what to do know, old man." eric said. "I need to stop you from killing her."
"Haha, you can't, this is history boy, you cant change history."
Eric looked at Helen, then back at steve's ancestor. "No, no you didn't think your plan through old man. I found a loophole." Eric began to pick up a sharp stick. "You arent going to kill her old man." he said.
All of a sudden, eric slammed the sharp end of the stick through Helen's throat. Helen let out a sharp cry, before dying. The old man looked at Eric in shock.
"You arent going to kill her because i am. I've broken the cycle. And there is nothing you can do about it."
The old man yelled in rage as Eric put the sharp end of the stick under his chin and forced it up into his skull, killing himself.
There's a photo lying on the floor of the cabin. It shows two young men and two young women looking genuinely happy and peaceful. Nobody knows what happened to these four people. The photo is the only evidence that they ever existed
08-15-2001, 03:58 PM
Cut! Print! thats a wrap! cool story, i think that this is better than most of the holywood crap being put out today, this would make a great movie. What does everyone think of my ending? I tried to resolve the story without being to confusing.
[This message has been edited by ArmyJacket (edited 08-15-2001).]
08-15-2001, 08:22 PM
it was good until that gay army guy that i guess wants a few good men too started telling it.
08-16-2001, 02:36 PM
alternate ending:Eric wakes up on the ground. Eric gets ready to dust himself off,when he notices his clothes are different. He sees a piece of glass beside him. He looks and sees that it's Steve's body he's looking at. He thinks he's back in time because of his clothes. Suddenly,he sees a pregnant woman come out that looks familiar. When he starts to get up,he hears a loud noise. He looks around and sees people coming after him and the woman. The people drag the two into the woods. Eric looks at the woman as she's getting chopped up with an axe. Suddenly,he blanks out. He wakes up in the ground,the woman's body beside him. The people are still there,starting to put dirt in the hole he's in. While the dirt is going on him,he looks up in shock,seeing his body staring down at him with the people. Right now,Eric can't get up since so much dirt is on his body. Before Eric is buried,he looks up at his body one more time. Eric's body looks back at him,smiling at him,mouthing the words thank you. Now Eric lays underground,waiting for the day when he and his friends come to the cabin so he can get his body back.
08-16-2001, 10:02 PM
someguy, neat ending!
08-23-2001, 10:26 PM
Well it's over. What a cool story which would make a phenomenal movie!
If anyone's interested, I'll start a new story. Maybe it will turn out better than the last one. Who knows?
A boy is sitting at his computer typing a project for school. Adjacent to him his a window ajar allowing a cool, fall breeze sway the drapes. John looks up at his clock to see that it is 10:30P.M. All of the sudden, the window next to the open one is shattered sending shards of glass splintering across the room.
09-11-2001, 08:06 PM
09-17-2001, 09:59 PM
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