BabyBoy
10-11-2001, 03:13 PM
What must you do or not do?
Never pick up Hitchhikers.
sandwich
10-11-2001, 03:54 PM
..never go into a dark room.
..dont open a door that you expect danger
psycho path
10-11-2001, 08:49 PM
Never investigate
dont hide in obvious places
dont have sex or go on the toilet
dont cast Rebecca gayheart
PrinceOfDarkness
10-11-2001, 10:15 PM
when all the lights have gone out and the phone doesn't work and you run downstairs and see a red substance on the floor,don't waste your time kneeling down to touch it too see what it is,if the phone is dead chances are it's not kool-aid or ketchup,it's blood man,get the fuck outta there http://www.joblo.com/ubb/smile.gif
AlienClown
10-11-2001, 11:27 PM
Head to the nearest book store, and pick up the Horror Movie Survival Guide. An excellent reference book, very handy.
Jimmy Da Gent
10-11-2001, 11:45 PM
Never give the killer clues where you are or what the fuck you're doing(that includes cooking popcorn!)
http://www.joblo.com/ubb/smile.gif
If you punch the killer in the head and he falls down, HE IS NOT DEAD!!!!!!!
grab the nearest pointy object and stab until there isn't a hole-less area left.
moviemanpa
10-12-2001, 12:53 AM
I got this in an email a while back... it pretty much sums it all up... Enjoy!
Horror Movie Survival
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the house you're living in tells you to "GO AWAY", do so immediately.
Never take a bath or shower with a maniac/spirit/demon/creature in the house.
When it appears that you have killed the maniac/spirit/demon/creature, DO NOT check to see if he/she/it is really dead. Keep hacking at it until it is in pieces small enough not to be a threat to you. If you've shot at it, shoot it again in the head, and remember, shoot till it stops moving, and then keep shooting till you're out of ammo. Then reload and shoot it some more. Then set it on fire and burn it up, this works with everything except demons and spirits. Then get the hell out of there!
If plumbing fixtures or other structures in your home begin shaking and spewing body fluids, it's time to leave.
Never read aloud from a book that summons demons. Even as a joke.
Don't look under the bed.
Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
If trees, TVs, or other objects try to consume your children, save as many as you can and then get the hell out of the area.
If relatives or pets come back from the dead, don't approach them and ask "What did you come back to do?"
If inanimate objects such as dolls, toys, or furniture attack you, be prudent, leave the area.
If you've hidden from the maniac/spirit/demon/creature and you are not found, do not peek from or decide it's safe to leave your hiding place. If you do decide to leave, scan the ground for twigs before you take a step.
Never believe that your companion has truly become "dispossessed."
It is very, very dangerous to back into, or through rooms.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. (Note: It will probably take several rounds of gunfire to incapacitate them, so be prepared.)
When you have the benefit of numbers, never, ever, pair off, or go in alone. The more people the maniac/spirit/demon/creature is distracted by, the better "your" chance of escape.
Never get into a car without first checking the back seat for occupants.
If demons begin possessing your companions, it's a good idea to leave the area as soon, and as quickly as possible.
If your companions start turning up dead, make yourself scarce before someone else does it for you. Worry about funerals later.
If you've just finished running over the maniac/spirit/demon/creature in your car, keep going. Most certainly do not get out of the car under any circumstances to see if he/she/it is "really" dead.
As a general rule, don't try to solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Don't fall asleep if you have a history of homicidal/suicidal nightmares.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, etc.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside or near a window, especially those that appear that they would break easily.
If you find something that appears to be alive that you cannot identify, don't pick it up or touch it, with anything.
If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately or else you will quickly die.
If someone is in the water and starts screaming and is pulled under, Don't go after them or peek over the edge of the shore "to see what's wrong." If you are in a boat, head for shore.
If appliances start operating by themselves, you are in danger.
Do not accept/take anything from the dead.
If priests won't or can't enter your home, start looking for a new home.
If you discover the place you are visiting is known for its history of mass murders, deaths, freak accidents, or supernatural occurrences, leave.
If you wake up from a particularly horrific dream and find yourself still alive, you probably aren't awake yet.
If you find a town which looks deserted, it is probably deserted for a damn good reason. Take the hint and stay away.
Don't play with ouija boards. If you do and the ouija board starts moving by itself, stop playing and leave.
If supernatural beings start calling your name, leave the area immediately.
Never pick up a hitchhiker or stop to aid a suspicious person, especially if he/she/it resembles Santa Claus or Satan.
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're really sure you know what you are doing.
Make sure that your weapon is really loaded before you try to use it.
If your space ship gets a alien distress signal from what appears to be a dead planet, don't stop to check it out.
Never put your back to or lean on a door.
Never take the dare to spend a night in a haunted house.
Never speak to clowns in sewers.
Never accept gifts from strangers, especially if you suspect that they are really supernatural beings.
If you're running from the maniac/spirit/demon/creature, expect to trip and/or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Do not turn to look back, if you do, you stand a good chance of tripping immediately and being killed. If you turn and look back, and you don't see the maniac/spirit/demon/creature chasing you, stop and run immediately back the way you came because the maniac/spirit/demon/creature is now in front of you.
If your companions exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, biting, thirst for blood, howling, glowing eyes, unnatural hairiness, marked resemblance to demons, excretion of ectoplasm or other forms of gelatinous goo, flaming appendages, extra appendages, etc., get as far away from them as possible.
Listen closely to the soundtrack for hints on what is going on around you. Use all resources available, especially the audience, for on the average, they are much, much more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.
Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Crystal Lake, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), Mydian, Questa Verde, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
Beware of transvestite doctors that sing.
Avoid secluded mountain resorts, especially those which keep 'Redrum' in stock.
Beware of strangers bearing tools of destruction such as chainsaws, staple guns, chipper/shredders, weed poppers, combines, lawnmowers, knives, flamethrowers, band saws, crossbows, napalm, grenades, high-powered rifles, gophers wielding axes, laser pistols, or Alludium Q-36 explosive space modulators.
If you're going to shoot something, in the immortal words of Robert Ruark, african game hunter, "USE ENOUGH GUN."
If entering your craft you put your hand in a kind of sticky/slimy/resinous kind of substance that was not there before, turn and run immediately.
If you are in the Arctic and find an alien frozen in ice, don't touch it, don't thaw it out, leave it alone. The alien should be incinerated with thermite (or preferably a thermonuclear weapon), otherwise if it thaws out, it will kill you and every living thing on earth.
If you are alone in a house and something calls your name, leave the house immediately through whatever exit is in the opposite direction. If there is no exit, make one.
pedro
10-12-2001, 03:22 AM
i won't. i'll especially be beware of those evil transvestite doctors!
Rankosaurus
10-12-2001, 06:03 AM
Don't have friends. They literally stab you in the back.
Headbangerzombie
10-12-2001, 11:59 AM
If a house says get out, you get the fuck out!!!!!!!
Hauntedween
10-12-2001, 02:31 PM
If your black like me , and someone hears a noise dont be the one to investagate,
If kids get killed at the same camp every year dont go !
and if your friends plan a summer of fun ,drugs , and sex at a old house,campsight,or other dont go
Jimmy Da Gent
10-12-2001, 07:04 PM
MOST OBVIOUS:
Nver say "I'll be right back" because you wont be back!
Mojo67821
10-12-2001, 07:30 PM
Oh My God! I totally know the "Nilbog" thing...
it was this horrible movie about Goblins. does anyone know the name of it???
All I remember is all the food was green, and if you ate it you turned into a goblin. And Nilbog spelled backwards is Goblin, it was the name of the milk, and it was green...oh and there was a kid who pissed on the table while his parents were eating so they wouldn't eat the food and turn into goblins. Hilarious!
Please somebody help me out with the name...
oh and I definitely will never talk to clowns in sewers
You know what really pisses me off?
When people badmouth sewer clowns.
I find them rather fun to hang out with, and besides they have feelings too so don't diss em.
someguy
10-12-2001, 10:22 PM
Why didn't someone know this one:
If you're in Maine and you see a car named Christine driving on the road with a girl with telekenesis,and a clown in the car,an 18-wheeler with the face of the green goblin on it,a store called Needful Things,a pet cemetary,and a man that's 18 pounds that asks you for a bite of apple pie,leave as soon as possible.
ParileseMonster
10-12-2001, 11:00 PM
Cut off the fuckers head and burn it! Dont just stab him assume he is dead and walk past his hand that will grab your leg etc. etc.
Mike716
10-13-2001, 04:27 PM
Never underestimate the enemy!
[This message has been edited by Mike716 (edited 10-13-2001).]
FlickJunkie
10-16-2001, 06:30 PM
This ones's silly, but one thing is it's always good to be a white person in them, you have a better chance of surviving then someone from another race. That was one funny joke in "Scary Movie" when the black reporter said "White folks are dead, we're gettin' the fuck outta here!"
Mojo67821
10-17-2001, 06:42 AM
I must agree on that part in Scary Movie,
I laugh my ass off ever time I hear that one!
It's true though, they usually throw in the token minority characters but they're never the main characters...but there is that movie Bones with Snoop Dogg coming out so maybe minorities are starting to get their rightful place in the genre
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