Majin Imhotep
01-16-2002, 08:30 PM
I was reading this celebrity deathmatch script that someone wrote that was pretty funny. It had Nev Cambel VS JLH. They could use the weapons from various horror movies.
Here is the fight:
*(Nev goes over to the table of weapons and…)
Gomez: Nev’s going for the small dagger from “Scream”
Nick: A weapon she is very familiar with.
(Nev Slashes at Jennifer with the dagger, but Jennifer manages to dodge them)
Gomez: Sometimes it’s good to be exorbitantly thin
Nick: Especially when dodging!
(Laughs)
Nev: Damn you and your whisper thin Body!
(Nev tries to tackle Jennifer, but misses. Jennifer heads over to the table…)
Nick: Jen’s going for the Meat Hook!
Jennifer: I’m gonna gut you like a fish!
(Jennifer slashes, but gets slashed by Nev.)
Gomez: Nev gets in the first blow
Nick: and First Blood!
(Jennifer is infuriated and hooks Nev through her hand. Nev drops her weapon as Jennifer’s gets stuck.)
Nev: You Little Bitch!
(Jennifer runs for the table and takes the Long Blade from Psycho)
Gomez: She better be careful with that one, it’s a piece of movie history
Nick: And as sharp as diamonds!
(Jennifer throws the blade at Nev; it goes right through her stomach, through the ropes behind her, and several unfortunate audience members. Nev, gets the hook off her, but removes her hand in the process.)
Nick: Ouch!
Gomez: Not the smartest thing in the world to do.
(Nev goes to the table, and takes Freddy’s Glove, puts it where her old hand used to be, attaches it, and tests it out.)
Nev: Groovy
(Cut to audience, close up of Bruce Campbell)
Bruce: WHAT! That little….
(Cut to ring, Nev has Jennifer cornered.)
Nev: Yo, She-Bitch. Let’s go.
(Cut Bruce Campbell in the Audience)
Bruce: That tear’s it!
(Bruce rushes to the ring)
Nick: Look, it’s Bruce Campbell!
Gomez: What’s he doing here?
Bruce: (Grabs Chain Saw and Ax from ‘Evil Dead’ off the table) You! I’m sick of you ruining the family name! And NOW, you’re stealing my One-Liners! (Revs chainsaw up) You’ve been asking for this for a loooonnng time!
(Nev tries to slash him; But Jennifer tackles her to the ground, allowing Bruce to drive the Ax into Nev’s back. Jennifer is thrown off, Nev gets back up, but…)
Nick: Oh My GOD!
Gomez: Nev Campbell’s Possessed!
Nev: You Infidel! I’ll Swallow Your Soul!
Bruce: …Come get some.
(Nev charges Bruce but, gets chain sawed into little bits for her effort.)
Jennifer: Wow, thanks.
Bruce: Nothing to it, baby.
Don't ask why I posted this. I just thought it was kind of funny.
Here is the fight:
*(Nev goes over to the table of weapons and…)
Gomez: Nev’s going for the small dagger from “Scream”
Nick: A weapon she is very familiar with.
(Nev Slashes at Jennifer with the dagger, but Jennifer manages to dodge them)
Gomez: Sometimes it’s good to be exorbitantly thin
Nick: Especially when dodging!
(Laughs)
Nev: Damn you and your whisper thin Body!
(Nev tries to tackle Jennifer, but misses. Jennifer heads over to the table…)
Nick: Jen’s going for the Meat Hook!
Jennifer: I’m gonna gut you like a fish!
(Jennifer slashes, but gets slashed by Nev.)
Gomez: Nev gets in the first blow
Nick: and First Blood!
(Jennifer is infuriated and hooks Nev through her hand. Nev drops her weapon as Jennifer’s gets stuck.)
Nev: You Little Bitch!
(Jennifer runs for the table and takes the Long Blade from Psycho)
Gomez: She better be careful with that one, it’s a piece of movie history
Nick: And as sharp as diamonds!
(Jennifer throws the blade at Nev; it goes right through her stomach, through the ropes behind her, and several unfortunate audience members. Nev, gets the hook off her, but removes her hand in the process.)
Nick: Ouch!
Gomez: Not the smartest thing in the world to do.
(Nev goes to the table, and takes Freddy’s Glove, puts it where her old hand used to be, attaches it, and tests it out.)
Nev: Groovy
(Cut to audience, close up of Bruce Campbell)
Bruce: WHAT! That little….
(Cut to ring, Nev has Jennifer cornered.)
Nev: Yo, She-Bitch. Let’s go.
(Cut Bruce Campbell in the Audience)
Bruce: That tear’s it!
(Bruce rushes to the ring)
Nick: Look, it’s Bruce Campbell!
Gomez: What’s he doing here?
Bruce: (Grabs Chain Saw and Ax from ‘Evil Dead’ off the table) You! I’m sick of you ruining the family name! And NOW, you’re stealing my One-Liners! (Revs chainsaw up) You’ve been asking for this for a loooonnng time!
(Nev tries to slash him; But Jennifer tackles her to the ground, allowing Bruce to drive the Ax into Nev’s back. Jennifer is thrown off, Nev gets back up, but…)
Nick: Oh My GOD!
Gomez: Nev Campbell’s Possessed!
Nev: You Infidel! I’ll Swallow Your Soul!
Bruce: …Come get some.
(Nev charges Bruce but, gets chain sawed into little bits for her effort.)
Jennifer: Wow, thanks.
Bruce: Nothing to it, baby.
Don't ask why I posted this. I just thought it was kind of funny.