If Monty Python had made the Horror Classics (a fun game)

[FeydRautha]

I've seen this played on some gaming forums, and it was loads of fun, and everyone's seen at least *one* Monty Python sketch/film, so here goes:

If Monty Python's Flying Circus team had made all the horror films, what would the stories be like? Be as obscure in reference as you like. I'll get the ball rolling:

1. Freddy Krueger would be Head of the Ministry of Silly Slashes;

2. Chucky would sit next to strangers in the pub and make "Nudge-nudge, Wink-wink" comments;

3. Just as Michael's preparing to sink his blade into Laurie, Dr. Loomis would burst into the room and announce "Stop that! Stop this scene at once! You're being far too silly!!";

4. Instead of riding a powerful black steed, the Headless Horseman would skip along holding invisible reins while Ichabod Crane lolloped along behind him, clopping two coconut shell halves together;

5. When Jason terrorises a hutful of Camp Crystal Lake counsellors, Mrs. Voorhees would jump out in front of him and cry "He's not a supernatural serial killer - he's a VERY NAUGHTY BOY!!!"

Anyone else?

[malaria]

Hee hee. LOL

[skweemkween]

1.HALLOWEEN: a beautiful fall day, the harvest sun is shining. A backyard with drying laundry is flapping in the wind as Laurie Strode looks out of her window to see a man in a dark grey workers uniform, wearing a pale-white formless mask. Startled at what she sees, she abruptly turns away from the window only to see the featureless white demon up close and in her face!
The demon than turns to the camera and thrusts his face forward only to say,"IT's!"

2.SCREAM: Sydney, confused and bloodied over the revelation of her boyfriend and friend and their dastardly plan, screams accusations at them for the murder of her mother. A calm and collected Deputy Dewey can be heard, gasping from the floor, "let's not sit around and bicker about who's killing who!"

3.Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2:Leatherface to Lt "Lefty" Enright,"it's just a flesh wound!"

4.Psycho: Norman Bates, in dress and wig, whilst chasing damsels in his motel, drops what he's doing to sing a rousing rendition of "I'm A Psychopath and I'm Ok, I dress like Mum and I work all day" joined by Marion Crane and the rest of the cast.

[Juice]

God I love Monthy Pyhton...

I'm sure the corpses in Jeepers Creepers would be singing 'Always look on the bright side of life' and everyone getting his bodyparts cut of would just fight on, saying it'sjust a fleshwound.

[Corpse Candle]

The siege of zombies from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD:

All the mounty python crew are traped in a house in the middle of nowhere all dressed up as old ladies chatting about the price of a decent axe "these days" and "you never guess what mr and miss hardthrob are up to next door it's disgusting".
When a hoard of jewish zombies storm in and start attacking the old women.
The zombies start to devour to women groaning and growling all the way the old women are screeching and the horrific scene plays out.
Until one zombie says
"Ang on mate are these old ladies cossa (I cant speell it correctly)"
One dismemberd ladies head chirps up "I don't know do I should checked before you started"
Another says "Fucking jewish zombies".
The zombies then walking away in protest one says "I don't beleieve this what is the world comming to".

[Romero&Juliet]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by FeydRautha:


2. Chucky would sit next to strangers in the pub and make "Nudge-nudge, Wink-wink" comments;

</font>

do you like...photography??

[Fettdog]

If you want to see Monty Python mixed with horror, you should track down their 'Salad Days' sketch.

***** SPOILERS ******

Basically, it starts off with a group of people in 1930s gear at a picnic. A couple have tennis rackets, one is playing the piano etc... Anyway, one of them swings the tennis racket and accidentally lets go of it, sending it into the stomach of another person, which erupts with a fountain of blood. He then backs into the piano, knocking the lid shut and cutting off the piano players hands, and well, it just gets more and more bloody, and funny!

You gotta track it down!

[Corpse Candle]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Fettdog:
If you want to see Monty Python mixed with horror, you should track down their 'Salad Days' sketch.

***** SPOILERS ******

Basically, it starts off with a group of people in 1930s gear at a picnic. A couple have tennis rackets, one is playing the piano etc... Anyway, one of them swings the tennis racket and accidentally lets go of it, sending it into the stomach of another person, which erupts with a fountain of blood. He then backs into the piano, knocking the lid shut and cutting off the piano players hands, and well, it just gets more and more bloody, and funny!

You gotta track it down! </font>

Yes that was great.
There was another strange one as well:
*****possable spoiler*****
At the end of one mounty python episode they were review a new hollywood film.
The show host says
"Here's a clip now"
And from here on in and for about a minute (includeing the closing credits) we see eric idle's body turn into a bloody mass under a constant riegn of fire.

[FeydRautha]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by skweemkween:
4.Psycho: Norman Bates, in dress and wig, whilst chasing damsels in his motel, drops what he's doing to sing a rousing rendition of "I'm A Psychopath and I'm Ok, I dress like Mum and I work all day" joined by Marion Crane and the rest of the cast.</font>

ROFL!

Here's another - RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD. Instead of partying in the local cemetery, Trash and her mates pile into the cafe next door. It's crowded with zombies, but they find a table. The grizzled, grey-haired waitress informs them they can have "Spam, brains, Spam, baked beans, Spam, internal organs, Spam, body parts, or Spam."

To which Trash screams "I DON'T LIKE SPAM!!!"

"Shush, Trash, don't cause a fuss," one of the lads says. "Just have brains instead. I love it!"

At which point all the zombies start singing in harmony: "Brains, brains, brains, brains...brains, brains, brains, brains...loverly brains, wonderful brains....."

[Juice]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Fettdog:
If you want to see Monty Python mixed with horror, you should track down their 'Salad Days' sketch.

***** SPOILERS ******

Basically, it starts off with a group of people in 1930s gear at a picnic. A couple have tennis rackets, one is playing the piano etc... Anyway, one of them swings the tennis racket and accidentally lets go of it, sending it into the stomach of another person, which erupts with a fountain of blood. He then backs into the piano, knocking the lid shut and cutting off the piano players hands, and well, it just gets more and more bloody, and funny!

You gotta track it down! </font>

Micheal Palin was great there... "I say"

[FeydRautha]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Fettdog:
If you want to see Monty Python mixed with horror, you should track down their 'Salad Days' sketch.</font>

I loved that, it was Pythons' take on Sam Pekinpah, who was very fond of gore in slow-motion.

Here's another: the Dead Parrot Sketch a la The Cell:

Catherine Deane (J.Lo) storms into a pet shop run by Carl Stargher. She screams "I wish to make a complaint! This victim is totally dead!! You drowned her!!"

To which Carl replies "No, she's not! She's a Norwegian Blue...*beautiful plumage*...she's just pining for the fjords!!"

Dr. Deane retorts "Listen, matey...the only reason this girl was floating in that tank was because she'd been NAILED there..."

Anyone else? (There must be some more Python fans out there...)