LEONARD MALTIN SUCKS! - His Most Ridiculous (And Biased) Reviews. [Archive]

SteveSzyk

07-07-2002, 01:29 PM

Before I start, let me please say don't pull that everyone has his opinion bullshit on me! http://www.joblo.com/ubb/smile.gif This guy is the most clueless, and biased critic I have ever seen.

--------------------------------------------

I still can't figure out what made me purchase his book, but I did and every so often I'll search around for horror classics and see what this fuck had to say:

- Zombie (1979) BOMB, A zombie epidemic on a small Caribbean island. A poor imitation of George Romero's horror films, and pretty repellent.

- Friday the 13th (1981) * 1/2, Palmer, who figures in an admittedly bravura finale, slaughters teens holed up in woodsy summer camp. Young folks unexpectedly made this gory, cardbord thrillera box-office smash-one more clue to why SAT scores continue to decline. Rates higher than a BOMB simply because... SHUT UP! I'll admit I'm not a huge fan of this flick either (7/10), but if his SAT comment wasn't the stupidest thing anyone's ever said...

- Blue Velvet (1989) **, Terminally weird, though flamboyantly original film about a young man's involvement in a small-town mystery involving a kinky nightclub singer, a sadistic kidnapper/drug dealer, and other swell folks. A highly individulal look at the bizarre elements just behind the facade of a picture-perfect American town. Too audacious to be easily dismissed, to strange to be easily enjoyed... yet this was one of the most critically praised movies of 1986!

And there's lots more.

[This message has been edited by SteveSzyk (edited 07-07-2002).]

edit

07-07-2002, 01:33 PM

Burn that book Steve. http://www.joblo.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Matlin has obviously no idea what he's talking about.

Cabrini Green

07-07-2002, 02:27 PM

Here's some more clueless reviews that Maltin has obviously missed the point of these films and tries to cover it up with bad jokes in the Phantasm and The Brood reviews and spoils the death of Brooke Shields's character in Alice, Sweet Alice. The Gremlins in part 2 should have finished him off. http://www.joblo.com/ubb/smile.gif Seriously he has the right to his opinions but he is poor as a writer.

Phantasm (1979) *(1/2)
Two not very interesting brothers take on a flying object that punctures skulls, as well as a creepy cemetery worker whose ties are so thin he should be playing "Louie, Louie" at a 1963 prom. Followed by a sequel.

The Brood (1979) BOMB
Eggar eats her own afterbirth while midget clones beat grandparents and lovely young school teachers to death with mallets. It's a big, wide, wonderful world we live in!

Alice, Sweet Alice (1977) **
Does 12-year old Alice kill her sister, parents, aunt, etc? OK murder mystery is noteworthy mainly as Shields's feature debut--and she's bumped off in the first reel. Filmed on location in Paterson, New Jersey; cameo appearance by Roth as a pathologist.

[This message has been edited by Cabrini Green (edited 07-07-2002).]

Antonio

07-07-2002, 03:28 PM

What's even more offensive is that he gives away the endings/twists in many of his reviews. I don't expect him to be a horror fan, but give credit where credit is due. Even Roger Ebert liked ALICE, SWEET ALICE.

Jason Voorhees

07-07-2002, 04:05 PM

Oooh...that SAT comment was stupid, closeminded, generalizing, bullshit...

Jason Lives

07-07-2002, 07:46 PM

He also said that Jason Takes Manhattan was the best of the series with imaginitive writing and directing.

Terror Australis

07-07-2002, 08:57 PM

In his most recent book he gave Memento * 1/2 out of ****, Which is not cool.

I find this weird 'cause every critic I know loved this film, so far his the only one who didn't like it.

[This message has been edited by Terror Australis (edited 07-08-2002).]

Candyman666

07-07-2002, 09:28 PM

HE GAVE MEMENTO WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I hope that rat bastard burns in hell. I love Memento... Now, where was I?

Hooray for me.

robk

07-07-2002, 09:58 PM

Although we're all entitled to an opinion, I'm still shocked that Maltin gave the 1st Alien film a mere **1/2, while giving The Phantom Menace ***.

stevereno

07-07-2002, 10:06 PM

Originally posted by robk:
Although we're all entitled to an opinion, I'm still shocked that Maltin gave the 1st Alien film a mere **1/2, while giving The Phantom Menace ***. 

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

LET'S START AN ANGRY MOB!

WHO'S WITH ME?!

SHIVER ME TIMBERS

Requiem-for-a-Dream

07-07-2002, 10:38 PM

I can't stand his opinions, VERY biased.

Matt

Antonio

07-07-2002, 10:59 PM

He likes movies like THE PHANTOM MENACE and THE LITTLE RASCALS because he's into kids.

Jason Voorhees

07-07-2002, 11:02 PM

lol, Antonio.

And, of course, F13TH 8 has great writing! Well, when compared to the Phantom Menace...

Sorry, couldn't resist. :).

pedro

07-07-2002, 11:36 PM

Maltin seems to me to be a narrow minded hack offering reviews with no substance or criticism to back up his ratings. Jason lives sums it up. Jason takes Manhatten is one of the most formulaic and uninspired of the whole series. (that guitar death scene was cool though) He probably couldn't wrap his small, empty head around memento.

Jewbo

07-08-2002, 01:11 AM

Originally posted by Antonio:
He likes movies like THE PHANTOM MENACE and THE LITTLE RASCALS because he's into kids.

ha ha funny stuff.

CeMeTaRy_GaTeS

07-08-2002, 11:03 AM

Well everyone is entitled to their opinion, but to be a good critic you have to be un-biased, just because the movie is by Disney doesn't mean it is automatically good, or the other way around wwith slasher films.

As for the SAT comment on the Friday the 13th review.
MALTIN YOU HAVE JUST BEEN ADDED TO MY ENEMY LIST.

SteveSzyk

07-08-2002, 12:21 PM

Here's the Memento review if your interested: *1/2, A man with short-term memory loss tries to keep his life in order while avenging his wife's murder. Is he being helped, or manipulated? Pretentious pap plays with storytelling conventions and juggles "real time," but adds up to zero (though the film has many ardent fans. Adds up to zero? Did he watch the movie.

And his Alien review: **1/2, Commercial spacecraft unwittinhly takes on an alien being that wreaks merciless havoc on the crew. Space-age horror film reverts to 1950s formula, but adds stomach-churning violence, slime, and shocks. Still, some people's idea of a good time.

[This message has been edited by SteveSzyk (edited 07-08-2002).]

countchocula

07-08-2002, 02:04 PM

I'm not a fan of the original Friday the 13th either, but he calls that a review? A brief synopsis and a few words of biting criticism do not make a good review.

skweemkween

07-08-2002, 02:12 PM

You know, we are expecting a lot out of a guy that's named Leonard.

..... http://www.joblo.com/ubb/wink.gif

ICP RULZ

07-08-2002, 02:23 PM

That guy is a fag.I say we go to his house and gang beat the shit outta him.How dare he make those comments.I would kick his ass if I saw him right now.

Peace

bowieee

07-08-2002, 07:58 PM

leanord maltin is like that kid in school you always wanted to give a wedgie too.

bowieee

07-08-2002, 07:59 PM

Originally posted by skweemkween:
You know, we are expecting a lot out of a guy that's named Leonard.

..... http://www.joblo.com/ubb/wink.gif

lOl

Could be worse he could have been named dwayne. No offense to the dwaynes out there http://www.joblo.com/ubb/smile.gif

Candyman666

07-08-2002, 11:00 PM

Hey the guy in Memento's name was Leonard...

Hooray for me.

Dark Minister

07-09-2002, 03:02 AM

This prick is basically Speilberg's bitch. Ever notice this? Anytime one of Spielberg's shitty movies come out this moron basically talks like it is reinvention of the wheel, and he often has trouble hiding his massive hard on when he even mentions Speilberg's name. This dude is a mediocre writer at best, and an ever worse movie critic. I would take Ebert's fat ass and his opinions over this cocksmoker's any day. Oh, and for the SAT remark, that is his idea of being witty. Pitiful, isn't it?

DeadByDawn

07-09-2002, 05:19 AM

Has he reviewed Dead/Alive, Aliens or Return Of The Living Dead yet? I could already imagine his ratings.

bluegopher

07-09-2002, 09:56 AM

His book still manaages to be a bestseller. Go figure. Has anyone read the other video book by two other people? I forgot the name of it.

CeMeTaRy_GaTeS

07-09-2002, 12:06 PM

SteveSzyk

07-09-2002, 12:26 PM

Originally posted by Dark Minister:
This prick is basically Speilberg's bitch. Ever notice this? Anytime one of Spielberg's shitty movies come out this moron basically talks like it is reinvention of the wheel, and he often has trouble hiding his massive hard on when he even mentions Speilberg's name. This dude is a mediocre writer at best, and an ever worse movie critic. I would take Ebert's fat ass and his opinions over this cocksmoker's any day. Oh, and for the SAT remark, that is his idea of being witty. Pitiful, isn't it?

Haha. This topic seems to be good for getting our frustrations out. FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK LEONARD! Ok I'm good.

Originally posted by DeadByDawn:
Has he reviewed Dead/Alive, Aliens or Return Of The Living Dead yet? I could already imagine his ratings.

You'll be surprised:

Dead Alive ***, Pity poor Balme; not only is he the thrall od his domineering mother, but when the bite of a rat monkeyfrom Skull Island turns her into a hungry zombie, he still has to look after her-and all the other zombies that will soon proliferate. Astondishing, vigorous, inventively gruesome comedy is-one hopes-the pinnacle of it's kind.

Aliens ***1/2, Weaver, the soul human survior from Alien, returns to a planet that spawned the yukky creatures with a Marine squadron that's ready to wipe them out. Intense, excited sequel directed by James Cameron the same way he did The Terminator-once it get's going there's just no letup! Weaver is sensational in compelling leading role.

Return of the Living Dead **, What starts out as a spoof of George Romero's zombie films (the wonderful performance by Karen as supervisor of medical warehouse) loses it's footing when the tone, and the violence, turn serious.

thingsgoinon

07-09-2002, 01:10 PM

Many reviewers/fans are biased based on his/her own likes dislikes.. Seems to me there are ALOT of biased Halloween (part whatever)fans over on the Current boards.

Klownzilla

07-09-2002, 04:43 PM

Hey, remember his reviews for the Gremlins
movies? He gave Gremlins ** and Gremlins 2 ***. You know why he gave the second one ***? Because he had a cameo in it!

Pumpkinhead

07-09-2002, 04:53 PM

Wow, this guy sounds like a moron. I'm also not a huge fan of the Friday the 13th movies, but that review was ridiculous.

The part that annoyed me the most was the Alien review. I mean, really, has anyone here actually heard a bad review for Alien? And yes, I'm sure there are people out there who don't like it, but Maltin seems to be saying that it's bad because it is violent. He didn't say any other reasons that it was a bad film. What a joke.

psycho path

07-09-2002, 05:25 PM

How can those be called reviews? Or even capsules!! The guys a moron. notice how his name kinda sounds like retard?

Requiem-for-a-Dream

07-10-2002, 01:51 AM

I know I already posted but...

FUCK YOU LEONARD MALTIN!!!!!!!!! YOU SACK OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel better now. I understand that everyone is biased in one form or another but it's the great critics who leave their biases out the door or keep them to a minimum when rating a movie. When I give a piece of shit a good rating, it's because I enjoyed it on an entertainment level but I make that clear. Leonard doesn't know shit about movies and it stands out in his reviews. Reviewers need to understand that entertainment value counts and so does horror. He can bash amazing films all he wants, but he really shouldn't be paid for it. There are so many people who will miss out on some great movies just because they read Maltins reviews (ok, maybe I'm stretching it but you get the idea) Movies don't always have to be brilliant to be great, they can be fun too. One last point.
It's ok to dislike films but a lot of films he reviews have many great things about them and he doesn't even mention them. Asshole.

Matt

P.S. Oh, and I completely agree with him getting a hard on over Spielberg.

DeadByDawn

07-10-2002, 06:12 AM

I was suprised on the ratings of Dead/Alive and Aliens, but not on the rating of Return Of The Living Dead. Well, even he liked Aliens, he's still a prick.

Razorblade Smile

07-10-2002, 10:41 AM

peacemaker

07-10-2002, 05:36 PM

I have that book too... I'm so dissapointed to you Leonard, so dissapointed.

"Burn Leonard, Burn!" IN HELL !!!!

RogueSpear

07-10-2002, 05:43 PM

Originally posted by Requiem-for-a-Dream:
One last point.
It's ok to dislike films but a lot of films he reviews have many great things about them and he doesn't even mention them. Asshole.



What if that's because he didn't find them to be great?

I find it funny that people really do get this pissed off just because someone doesn't like the movies that they like. It's his opinion, plain and simple.

Cabrini Green

07-10-2002, 06:26 PM

I think most of us agree that it isn’t the fact that we disagree with him but in the fact that he is paid to be a critic and just delivers two sentences about each movie and still manages to insult people who actually liked the movie. (for another example see the Nightmare review.) Hell the three examples I gave aren’t exactly critical darlings (three movies that I really admire for underlying storylines) but I feel that he has already dismissed them before he has watched them or the fact that they are violent or hard to watch. Last time I checked horror movies are supposed to trigger these emotions. He even insinuates that only dropouts would like a movie like that, which is basically a kick in the stomach to us who love the genre. The main attribute I look for in a critic is an unbiased opinion on said movie and logical reasons why he dislikes them. Maltin obviously does not.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984) *(1/2)
High School pals, all plagued by the same terrifying dream, are systematically murdered by the nightmare’s lead character. Standard teen slaughter movie inexplicably caught on with dropouts, leading to NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2, 3…Even Craven has done better then this.

[This message has been edited by Cabrini Green (edited 07-10-2002).]

urbanlegend23

07-10-2002, 06:30 PM

Death to the bastard...

http://www.criticdoctor.com/interviews/1images/maltin002a.JPG

DIE LEONARD, DIE!

[This message has been edited by urbanlegend23 (edited 07-10-2002).]

psychopath

07-10-2002, 06:59 PM

Originally posted by urbanlegend23:
Death to the bastard...

http://www.criticdoctor.com/interviews/1images/maltin002a.JPG

DIE LEONARD, DIE!

[This message has been edited by urbanlegend23 (edited 07-10-2002).]

SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY!!!

stevereno

07-10-2002, 07:01 PM

Cyclonus

07-10-2002, 07:21 PM

Originally posted by Cabrini Green:
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984) *(1/2)
High School pals, all plagued by the same terrifying dream, are systematically murdered by the nightmare’s lead character. Standard teen slaughter movie inexplicably caught on with dropouts, leading to NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2, 3…Even Craven has done better then this.

Wait a minute, that's a lot different than what's in my copy of his book:

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) **1/2 D: Wes Craven. Several teenagers discover they're all having nightmares about the same character, scar-faced Fred Kreuger, a kind of ghost who can enter their dreams at will, and kill them in macabre ways. It's up to surviving teen Nancy (Lagenkamp) to try to stop him. Imaginative premise hampered by routine treatment (not to mention a lousy ending!), but this box-office smash led to a handful of sequels and a TV series, Freddy's Nightmares.

[This message has been edited by Cyclonus (edited 07-10-2002).]

Cabrini Green

07-10-2002, 07:32 PM

Well I only have the 1990 edition (given to me as a gift that they got from a yard sale). He must be getting more lenient in his old age or was pressured into changing the review.

[This message has been edited by Cabrini Green (edited 07-10-2002).]

Dark Minister

07-10-2002, 11:39 PM

I was watching the E! True Hollywood Story on Jaws last night and who happened to appear but none other than our pal Leo. Yes, he was basically about to start jerking off at the mere mention on Speilberg's name, then going on and on about how great Speilberg is! Is it just me, or does Maltin just look like the type of person who needs to have his ass kicked about 4 times a day? He is such an arrogant asshole! I think that him, Speilberg, Tom Hanks, and Ron Howard probably all have sleep overs and then strip and play "Human train" with each other. I hear that Maltin is the caboose, since he is such an ass!

LamentConfiguration

07-10-2002, 11:58 PM

That was brutal... but fucking hilarious!! He does act high and mighty, and if you wann see him get his ass kicked watch Gremlins 2.

Requiem-for-a-Dream

07-12-2002, 12:13 AM

You can not like a movie and still see the good things about it, it's as though he shrugs good horror and any other for that matter, away unless everyone else loved it. I'm not mad about him disliking films that I like, I'm mad at him for being so fucking biased. And another thing, I'm not the only one bashing the guy, we're mostly all Leonard haters here.

Matt

Cyclonus

07-14-2002, 02:38 AM

If Leonard Maltin hates horror, why the hell did he watch all these slashers? I think someone's in denial here.

Razorblade Smile

07-14-2002, 05:13 AM

Maltin is the ultimate comparison shopper. I don't think he has it in him to judge films merely on their own merits, but perhaps feels inclined to rate them against other mainstream films like the Piano or A Beautiful Mind.

For someone who spends their lives watching mainstream flicks, I can see why he may snub his nose at the horror genre.

And to be honest, I'm kind of glad that he does. I like the idea that the horror category is the bastard son of a hundred film genres. If Horror becomes too pop-culture, it kind of gets taken away from us, you know what I mean?

Keep it in the family, I always say.

Cyclonus

08-25-2002, 02:30 PM

Okay, I have a copy of his book, and here's his ratings for various horror series:

Friday the 13th

Part 1 = *1/2
Part 2 = BOMB
Part 3 = **
Part 4 = BOMB
Part 5 = BOMB
Part 6 = BOMB
Part 7 = *1/2
Part 8 = **
Jason Goes to Hell = *1/2
Jason X = *1/2

A Nightmare on Elm Street

NOES = **1/2
NOES 2 = **
NOES 3 = ***
NOES 4 = **
NOES 5 = *1/2
Freddy's Dead = *1/2
New Nightmare = ***

[This message has been edited by Cyclonus (edited 08-25-2002).]

Boogeyman

08-25-2002, 02:35 PM

WHOA! His ratins are all over the place.
BOMB for F6, but 2 stars for 8!? thats just wrong.

later

Cyclonus

08-25-2002, 02:40 PM

Halloween

Halloween = ***
Halloween 2 = *1/2
Halloween 3 = BOMB
Halloween 4 = **
Halloween 5 = *1/2
Halloween 6 = *1/2
Halloween 7 = ***

Hellraiser

Hellraiser = **1/2
Hellraiser II = *1/2
Hellraiser III = *1/2
Hellraiser IV = BOMB

Phantasm

Phantasm = *1/2
Phantasm II = *1/2
Phantasm III = *1/2

Notes: I seem to recall he gave "Phantasm IV" a BOMB rating in an earlier edition; if so they cut it out but I could be wrong here. He must have reviewed "Halloween 8" but it came out too late to make this edition. Someone here must know. He has not reviewed "Hellraiser V."

Cyclonus

08-25-2002, 02:46 PM

Dead series

Night of the Living Dead = ***1/2
Dawn of the Dead = ***1/2
Day of the Dead = **

Highlander

Highlander = *1/2
Highlander II = *1/2
Highlander III = BOMB
Highlander IV = BOMB

Jason Lives

08-25-2002, 04:47 PM

Originally posted by Boogeyman:
WHOA! His ratins are all over the place.
BOMB for F6, but 2 stars for 8!? thats just wrong.

later

Yeah I remember him calling 8 "imaginatively written and directed"

Boogeyman

08-25-2002, 06:44 PM

Originally posted by Jason Lives:
Yeah I remember him calling 8 "imaginatively written and directed"

*falls on floor from insane laughter*

later

Romero&Juliet

08-25-2002, 06:47 PM

anyone know where I can Find his reviews on the net???

Toxferatu

08-25-2002, 07:12 PM

who cares? if critics loved horror, it would go completely mainstream and that would make it even worse than it is now. be glad critics hate horror, it keeps it great.

Jason Voorhees

08-26-2002, 12:46 PM

Wow, his book sounds great...

I do sorta agree with Tox, though. Part of the charm of cult films is that most people dislike or are unaware of them. It's a nice novelty feeling (and I don't really consider it elitism like some do).

Bloodybitch13

08-26-2002, 02:05 PM

Great now I actually want to go out and find a book of his.good for a few laughs I suppose.

HorrorScreenwriter

09-05-2002, 09:11 AM

I hate to be the party pooper for the people who are having a kill Maltin celebration, but aren't we being a tad hypocritical? So he is biased towards Spielberg films, so what. But we are BIASED towards horror films, which is the part that seems a bit hypocritical. We feel its ok to belittle him for liking Spielberg but it's not right for him to hate a lot of horror films.

The Diplomat
hehehe

Jason Voorhees

09-05-2002, 09:22 AM

Originally posted by HorrorScreenwriter:
I hate to be the party pooper for the people who are having a kill Maltin celebration, but aren't we being a tad hypocritical? So he is biased towards Spielberg films, so what. But we are BIASED towards horror films, which is the part that seems a bit hypocritical. We feel its ok to belittle him for liking Spielberg but it's not right for him to hate a lot of horror films.

The Diplomat
hehehe

I believe the consensus is angry because he's biased against horror films, not because he's biased for Spielberg. They were accusing him of being a whore, which he ostensibly is; Spielberg has lost talent he used to have, Just at look at the soulless and idiotic Jurassic Park 2, for one example. A.I. was...okay, but could have been much better, as well.

Regardless, I don't really care about his opinion. As I stated earlier, I prefer lesser known and cult films. Maltin can bash horror and praise the latest big budget abomination all fuckin' day if he makes him happy.

AlienClown

09-05-2002, 12:20 PM

Originally posted by Dark Minister:
This prick is basically Speilberg's bitch. Ever notice this? Anytime one of Spielberg's shitty movies come out this moron basically talks like it is reinvention of the wheel, and he often has trouble hiding his massive hard on when he even mentions Speilberg's name.
Actually, this is a direct quotre from the 2003 Movie Guide I have, "I don't think anyone would accuse Steven Spielberg's A.I. of being a thoughtless or slipshod piece of of work, but we gave it 2 stars because its intentions so far outweigh its achievements". And he does't grade movies on a curve as someone else said in this thread, he makes it clear that if he did ratings would look a lot different and that he won't grade movies that are just OK, or pretty good, as being great, just because there's a lot of crap/sub-par stuff out there. Example: He gave Man Who Wasn't There 2 and a half stars, but said compared to the average Hollywood movie these days it could easily earn 4.
Anyway, I am going to disagree with most of the people here. I'm no huge Maltin fan, but I did buy the new 2003 Movie/Video guide last month. I used to read his summaries for free on IMDB, but then, without any prior notice or explanation, they were taken off the site awhile ago, maybe 6 months or so. I wanted to have the book, as it does have a good amount of information in there, and I like reading his reviews for horror/scifi movies especially, obscure or mainstream, whether he likes them or not. Its interesting, no matter if I don't agree with him on everything. RogueSpear gave probably the most reasonable response in this whole thread. There are plenty of movies that I think are either great, or really good, and he'll agree, or think they're just OK, or not really like them. Then there's plenty of other that I'll not like, or just think they're OK, and he'll not like them either, or, he'll like them much better than I do. So what? I especially like his reviews of many movies that I know are fairly or sometimes very popular with genre fans that I didn't really like or I didn't really think were all that great, and he'll have similar sentiments. I've concurred with his opinions a fair amount of times. I don't really have much of a problem with him.

radikill

09-05-2002, 12:49 PM

If Maltin thinks Highlander II was as good as Highlander, and better than the last two movies in the series, then it's obvious that he hasn't seen ANY of them.

Fuck him up his stupid ass.

Cyclonus

12-20-2002, 05:18 PM

Frailty (2002) ** D: Bill Paxton. A Texas widower tells his two young sons that he has had a vision: they have been chosen to destroy demons who are walking the earth in human form. His boys are forced to witness--and parcipicate in--a series of brutal ax murders. Story is told in flashback by Paxton's now grown-up son (McConaughey) to FBI agent Boothe. Twisty mood piece is well-crafted by first-time director Paxton, but difficult to digest--especially for a parent.

Do you guys realize why he give it a bad review? Just because it invaded his comfort zone!!! Now is that really objective?

And check this out...

Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives (1986) BOMB D: Tom McLoughlin. Jason's summer camp has enjoyed years of tranquility after changing its name, but watch out! If you really think there's something to gain by watching Jason rise from the grave, try changing your name and doing it in secret. The pits.

Is it just me or does it look like he didn't even watch the damn thing? :mad:

Gluttony

12-20-2002, 07:44 PM

you know it's funny, I use the same format as Maltin to write my capsules (granted I have more stuff in them) and yet it's just so annoying because he is obviously very biased about horror.

That Frailty review proves that he wants to feed us any shit he wants and is probably just waiting to the point where he can stop watching the movies and just slap a poor rating on them.

I can see how your personal preference can give something a lower ratying but geese this is crap, he bases his review souly on that fact and admits that the movie was excellent.

What a Bastard.

7th son

12-21-2002, 12:20 AM

I know he's a fan of Roger Corman, and has given high marks to a few Argento films... so he isn't a total cuntbag.

Odd Emu

12-21-2002, 01:52 AM

but difficult to digest--especially for a parent.

Maybe it's because he is afraid his child will hack him to death with an axe after reading some of his reviews and Frailty just drove the idea home.

BakeTheMooCow

12-21-2002, 02:45 AM

Hey guys..

I just wanted to give this link --> http://ter.air0day.com/index.php?script=maltin

Its a must for anyone who hates Maltin, like I do :D

Odd Emu

12-21-2002, 04:09 AM

Originally posted by BakeTheMooCow
Hey guys..

I just wanted to give this link --> http://ter.air0day.com/index.php?script=maltin

Its a must for anyone who hates Maltin, like I do :D

Thanks that just went in my top 5 of greatest sites ever.

Cyclonus

12-21-2002, 04:23 AM

Blade Runner (1982) *1/2 D: Ridley Scott. In 21st-century L.A., a former cop (Ford) is recruited to track down androids who have mutinied in space and made their way to Earth. A triumph of production design, defeated by a muddled script and main characters with no appeal whatsoever. However, the film has a fervent following. Loosely based on Philip K. Dick's novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

Taxi Driver (1976) ** D: Martin Scorsese. To some, Scorsese and writer Paul Schrader's perception of hell--as a crazed taxi driver's vision of NYC--was brilliant. To us, this gory, cold-blooded story of a sick man's descent into violence is both ugly and unredeeming. Judge for yourself. Searing performances and Bernard Herrmann's final music score are among film's few virtues.

Memento (2001) *1/2 D: Christopher Nolan. A man with short-term memory loss tries to keep his life in order while avenging his wife's murder. Is he being helped, or manipulated, by the people around him? Pretentious pap plays with storytelling conventions and juggles "real time" but basically adds up to zero (though the film has many ardent fans).

The Waterboy (1998) *** D: Frank Coraci. Dimwitted Cajun boy, sheltered by his smothering momma (Bates) lives only to serve--as a much-abused waterboy for football teams. But when a downtrodden coach (Winkler) discovers that the waterboy can, when properly motivated, run and tackle with great force, he turns him into a football star. Likable, crowd-pleasing comedy with heart. Sandler here gets strong support from Winkler and Bates.

Bear

01-06-2011, 01:53 PM

That's right, an 8 year resurrection. Can ya really believe the froum's been around so long?? :D

Either way, I have to agree. Fuck Leonard.

The Postmaster General

01-07-2011, 01:43 AM

I think Maltin gets a bad rap. He can be pretty funny, like in his review for Heartbreakers, giving it props for the performance by JLH's breasts, and for giving Caligula an extra 1/2 star for "30 minutes of not bad hardcore sex." (paraphrasing)

Duke Nukem

01-07-2011, 07:31 PM

I have been following Maltin's books since 2000, as well as Roger Ebert, and DVD & Video Guide by Mick Martin and Marsha Porter (discontinued since 2007 sadly). I keep up with his and other critics reviews, because I like knowing what others think about movies I like or dislike. To find a movie underrated and know a professional critic agrees is a nice feeling. I don't think Maltin is that bad overall. Read enough reviews of "regular" movies and I think you'll find that he will be more in depth and specific about them. However, it is obvious that he would rather not waste his time with horror movies, so he doesn't put in the effort in reviewing. Here is one that has always cracked me up:

Death Ship (1980): BOMB Luxury liner collides with "death ship." Survivors board "death ship." "Death ship" tries to murder survivors. Forget it.

As half-assed and funny as he writes it, he's kind of right. Last time I saw that movie, it really wasn't that good. I always enjoy looking up the reviews of the F13/Halloween rip-offs, like "Final Exam" and "Graduation Day." You can't find them anymore unless you have kept his older books.