countchocula
10-06-2002, 12:03 PM
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005UWAC.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
MINOR SPOILERS
With Brian Yuzna attached to Arachnid as the producer, I was expecting a healthy dose of energetic cheese. But once the flick was released, it drowned in scathing reviews. This turned my expectations down a few notches, and I soon lost interest in it. Last night, it aired on the Sci-fi Channel, and since I was wallowing in boredom, I decided to give it a look. As always, low expectations paid off. It wasn’t nearly as treacherous as I was led to believe. Arrow’s review mentions an abundance of wet gore, so I knew that I wouldn’t be seeing much of it. A disappointment. Sci-fi displays their inconsistency by cutting out a supposed “eye popping” scene, but broadcasting Dog Soldiers with almost all of its violence preserved. Plus, Clive Barker’s upcoming Saint Sinner is reportedly gruesome fare. Why did they have to pick on Arachnid? Such a cruel, cruel world. Oh well, I was still entertained. Our tale of web-spinning anarchy finds extraterrestrials infecting a tropical island with otherworldly creepy crawlers. Scientists and military grunts eventually crash land on the island, and are stalked by a variety of creatures (well, two). If this sounds by-the-numbers, that’s because it is. We’ve seen this film a few times before, but it doesn’t feel entirely derivative. Our heroine hottie searches for her missing brother in a subplot similar to that of Jurassic Park III. The only difference being that this time, we actually want her to find her lost loved one. The heroine hottie I’m referring to is Alex Reid, who reminded me of Michelle Rodriguez in that she’s cute when she’s mad. Unlike Rodriguez, Reid successfully conveys more than one emotion, and isn’t limited to being the “badass chick.” The other cast members are OK. Some of them come off as natural, some of them are embarrassing, and some of them are close to incoherent thanks to thick Spanish accents.
The pace borders on lifeless. Don’t get me wrong, there’s usually something happening, but it’s just not exciting enough to take note of. And how are the arachnids, you ask? The main spider has a cool, unique look to it. There’s also a centipede/snake type of critter that looks decent, but it suffers when in cringe-inducing CGI format. Could they not find some alternative to using subpar digital effects? It sticks out like a sore thumb, and demotes chase sequences to mere scuffles. Director Jack Sholder works in some inventive camera angles and cashes in on the scenery, but most of his style is routine. I prefer his underrated work on NOES2. To Sholder’s credit, he aims high here. Arachnid takes itself fairly seriously, perhaps too seriously. I was stunned to see this film strive for emotional content. Granted, most of it falls flat, but some of it clicks. Capri’s death is surprisingly dramatic, as he slowly expires while cocooned in some intense webbing. He was actually likeable as the spider “specialist.” In other words, he didn’t just talk about spiders the entire time.
A lot of the action is rather stale. You’d think that big-breasted women having fun with machine guns would arouse me to a degree, but none of it stimulated my senses. The climax, in particular, is anticlimactic. By that point, I had grown weary of the whole ordeal, and just wanted too indulge in senseless combat, but I didn’t get it. This film just gradually loses steam until the closing credits begin to roll. Of course, it sets itself up for a sequel, which in all probability, will be made. For whatever reason, direct-to-video sequels are fashionable nowadays. I guess if you spend four dollars on CGI, it’s relatively easy to harvest a sizeable profit. And that’s all I have to say. Arachnid offers more than your average “mutant insect” adventure. I enjoyed it for what it was worth. I had predicted that it would paralyze me with monotony, but such wasn’t the case. But only rent this flick if nothing else on the video shelves looks appetizing.
My rating-3/5
MINOR SPOILERS
With Brian Yuzna attached to Arachnid as the producer, I was expecting a healthy dose of energetic cheese. But once the flick was released, it drowned in scathing reviews. This turned my expectations down a few notches, and I soon lost interest in it. Last night, it aired on the Sci-fi Channel, and since I was wallowing in boredom, I decided to give it a look. As always, low expectations paid off. It wasn’t nearly as treacherous as I was led to believe. Arrow’s review mentions an abundance of wet gore, so I knew that I wouldn’t be seeing much of it. A disappointment. Sci-fi displays their inconsistency by cutting out a supposed “eye popping” scene, but broadcasting Dog Soldiers with almost all of its violence preserved. Plus, Clive Barker’s upcoming Saint Sinner is reportedly gruesome fare. Why did they have to pick on Arachnid? Such a cruel, cruel world. Oh well, I was still entertained. Our tale of web-spinning anarchy finds extraterrestrials infecting a tropical island with otherworldly creepy crawlers. Scientists and military grunts eventually crash land on the island, and are stalked by a variety of creatures (well, two). If this sounds by-the-numbers, that’s because it is. We’ve seen this film a few times before, but it doesn’t feel entirely derivative. Our heroine hottie searches for her missing brother in a subplot similar to that of Jurassic Park III. The only difference being that this time, we actually want her to find her lost loved one. The heroine hottie I’m referring to is Alex Reid, who reminded me of Michelle Rodriguez in that she’s cute when she’s mad. Unlike Rodriguez, Reid successfully conveys more than one emotion, and isn’t limited to being the “badass chick.” The other cast members are OK. Some of them come off as natural, some of them are embarrassing, and some of them are close to incoherent thanks to thick Spanish accents.
The pace borders on lifeless. Don’t get me wrong, there’s usually something happening, but it’s just not exciting enough to take note of. And how are the arachnids, you ask? The main spider has a cool, unique look to it. There’s also a centipede/snake type of critter that looks decent, but it suffers when in cringe-inducing CGI format. Could they not find some alternative to using subpar digital effects? It sticks out like a sore thumb, and demotes chase sequences to mere scuffles. Director Jack Sholder works in some inventive camera angles and cashes in on the scenery, but most of his style is routine. I prefer his underrated work on NOES2. To Sholder’s credit, he aims high here. Arachnid takes itself fairly seriously, perhaps too seriously. I was stunned to see this film strive for emotional content. Granted, most of it falls flat, but some of it clicks. Capri’s death is surprisingly dramatic, as he slowly expires while cocooned in some intense webbing. He was actually likeable as the spider “specialist.” In other words, he didn’t just talk about spiders the entire time.
A lot of the action is rather stale. You’d think that big-breasted women having fun with machine guns would arouse me to a degree, but none of it stimulated my senses. The climax, in particular, is anticlimactic. By that point, I had grown weary of the whole ordeal, and just wanted too indulge in senseless combat, but I didn’t get it. This film just gradually loses steam until the closing credits begin to roll. Of course, it sets itself up for a sequel, which in all probability, will be made. For whatever reason, direct-to-video sequels are fashionable nowadays. I guess if you spend four dollars on CGI, it’s relatively easy to harvest a sizeable profit. And that’s all I have to say. Arachnid offers more than your average “mutant insect” adventure. I enjoyed it for what it was worth. I had predicted that it would paralyze me with monotony, but such wasn’t the case. But only rent this flick if nothing else on the video shelves looks appetizing.
My rating-3/5