Comic Heroes You've Created!...

[Jerk Shapiro]

Which ones have you made? Here are mine.

VOLTAGE ...A teen-age boy with an unlimited supply of elictricity flowing through his body. He can blast stuff, create magnetic fields, lightning storms, most anything lots of electricity can do!

THE DUPLICATOR...This guy can duplicate anything as many times as he wants to. Hella cool!

What super-heroes have you created?

[James Logan]

Well, I could eventually say I created two...not great ones though. :D

Alcoholocaust -- Last year with a buddy we started making a comic: I'd write and he'd draw. Our hero was called Alcoholocaust (mix of "alcohol" and "holocaust" for those who don't get it :D ). He was a 1942 French soldier who got kicked out of the army for alcoolism. Depressed he goes into a bar near Paris and gets drunk. But the last beer he drinks is...a GERMAN beer, called Achlor-kohol ("asshole alcohol"), that gives him incredible super-powers, blonde hair and blue eyes. Thanks to his beer-given super powers, he goes on a nazi-destroying rampage and single handedly frees Europe. This comic book was very dark and violent...a masterpiece.

The Spermator -- This comic book (never finished) was one I intended to write and draw all on my own. It's about a mutant, whose X-gene gave him a gigantic penis and capacity for multiple orgasms as early as his teens. He gets kicked off the X-Men because he couldn't control his dick powers and almost killed Jean Grey and Emma Frost with a sperm-blast. He starts wandering the world, rejected, his life fulled of one-night kinky sex stories...
...and that's where I stopped. :) The beginning of the comic though was kinda dark, very violent, very ironic and humoristic, and some people would say vulgar. Let's say it was a weird pornographic super-hero comedy. :p

[Jerk Shapiro]

Originally posted by James Logan
Well, I could eventually say I created two...not great ones though. :D


The Spermator -- This comic book (never finished) was one I intended to write and draw all on my own. It's about a mutant, whose X-gene gave him a gigantic penis and capacity for multiple orgasms as early as his teens. He gets kicked off the X-Men because he couldn't control his dick powers and almost killed Jean Grey and Emma Frost with a sperm-blast. He starts wandering the world, rejected, his life fulled of one-night kinky sex stories...
...and that's where I stopped. :) The beginning of the comic though was kinda dark, very violent, very ironic and humoristic, and some people would say vulgar. Let's say it was a weird pornographic super-hero comedy. :p

You perv...

[asyouwish530]

I made up one several years ago about a guy who has special vision abilities that can enable him to see things beyond the next 5 miles or the next 5 minutes. I called him Owl Eyes, aka Duffy Chandler, high school track star.

[Jerk Shapiro]

That's pretty cool asyouwish. It'd be really cool to be able to see 5 miles or 5 minutes into the future. Duffy Chandler, I like it.

:)

[James Logan]

Originally posted by MOVIE-Maniac 8
You perv...

Why thank you. :)

[jbuck_919]

A charter member of the Legion of Superheroes was Lightning Lad. Sorry if I disrupted your electromagnetic field.

In fact the general problem is that DC dreamt up every likely or unlikely power for its various heros/villains. Spiderman might be the only Marvel original. I loved these comics as a kid and am trying to think if I ever imagined a hero they didn't already have. Sorry, after a full minute of musing I just can't do it. Terminally human, I guess.

[syxxpac]

I made one the other day just for the hell of it named The Mullet, a hillbilly with a mustache and, well, a mullet and, I dunno, shotgun powers or something.

[jackson13]

When i was about 10 I created a comic hero called "Pigbo". I was this pig, that looked a little like the video game dude Kirby, crossed with Rambo. He'd go around saving people and blowing shit up, except he was a pig. It was kinda cool, but I lost interest after awhile.

[James Logan]

I think we should get all these heroes together in one comic. Call it the "League of Extraordinary Schmoes" and make a huge cross-over. :cool:

[syxxpac]

Originally posted by James Logan
I think we should get all these heroes together in one comic. Call it the "League of Extraordinary Schmoes" and make a huge cross-over. :cool:

That is an extraordinary idea, Logan. You can count The Mullet in :D .

[blankpage]

Super Sumo-I created this guy a while back. He's a big giant sumo gone made. He destroys cities, has a drinking problem,and falls in love every day!

Look out for Super Sumo in the Schmoe Comic.

[James Logan]

Originally posted by syxxpac
That is an extraordinary idea, Logan. You can count The Mullet in :D .

Okey dokey, so here's what we could do: I know some guy who draws great cover art. So what we should do is all draw an example of what we think our heroes should look like, get them on our computers, and send those drawings to me. I'll give them to my Cover Art Illustrator Friend, who, basing himself on them, could draw a great "cover". I can imagine it all ready: a ruined city as a setting, our heroes standing at the bottom in the foreground looking bad-ass, and at the top the JoBlo.com logo with written under it in cool writing: The League Of Extraordinary Schmoes!
And I figure, while my CVI Friend works on that, we could start working on the screenplay of the comic book, each one of us writing a part of it and then having a friend of mine (or one of yours, if he can draw good lol) draw it as we go along. That way we'd have a little comic book slowly coming along, and hopefully in a couple of months we'll have finished part one of what will hopefully become the greatest comic book epic ever. :cool:

If that way of working is fine with everybody, I'm ready to write the beginning of the story (introduction of my characters), while we all draw character designs and send 'em to me. If you're not all right with all this, any suggestions are accepted. :)

[syxxpac]

Shit, I don't have a scanner. However, my friend does and I think I could con him into scanning a Mullet picture if I pressed hard enough ;)

[James Logan]

Great. So The Mullet, Spermator, and Alcoholocaust are in. Other submissions for the greatest team of super dorks ever? :)

[A.J. Hakari]

Back in grade school, I started to draw but never finished an Indiana Jones-type hero, no superpowers but all the intelligence and martial arts abilities in the world, named Jon Hunter. Normal relic-finding, villain-destroying missions for my one-thumbed hero (long story on that one). His speciality was using carefully-constructed explosions to propell himself across large gaps and canyons.

[docholiday_13]

Well I created a couple dudes for my Superman script. One was a guy name Devon who was genetically altered by a program funded by Lex Luthor. He was totally immune to metal. Bullet, knife...............anything metal really, couldn't hurt him. Plus he had metal under the skin in his arms and hands giving him kickass punching...........stuff.

Come to think of it he's kind of a reject. Is he fit to be in the League Of Schmoes?

p.s. Mullet MUST lead this rabble of douches.

[asyouwish530]

JL- I fucking want in, too. I'll draw an Owl Eyes composite with dorkability synopsis and get it to you soon, I'd like to see this special schmoe league comic episodic at least monthly or something, great idea!

[James Logan]

Well, let's get workin', then! :cool:

[docholiday_13]

Okay .how's about we get a list of all the superhero's that are being contributed. Then we can work out an epic plot for these supertards........I mean superhero's......hehe.

[syxxpac]

Here's a short description of The Mullet:

Powers: Mullet Whip, drunken boxing

Weapons: Shotgun, fishing rod

Land Vehicle: Ford pickup

Air Vehicle: Machinegun/missile-equipped crop duster

Bio: An ill mannered aficianado of Budweiser and fishing by day, and, well, an ill mannered enforcer of hillbilly, vigilante justice by night (and day if his fishing licence is revoked)

Sidekick: A swine named Reggie who wears shit-stained overalls

I'll try to get cracking this week on a drawing, but I'm not sure when I'll get it sent.

[James Logan]

Originally posted by syxxpac


I'll try to get cracking this week on a drawing, but I'm not sure when I'll get it sent.

Take your time, I got a busy schedule too anyways.

[Jerk Shapiro]

Yeah, nice idea JL. Add VOLTAGE and THE DUPLICATOR to that "League Of Extraordinary Schmoes"....


Here's some info:

VOLTAGE

Height: 5'2''

Weight: 114 lbs.

Real Name: Sonny Bolt

Powers: Lighting blasts, electric blasts, magnetic field creation, disrupt radiowaves, shock, moves at the speed of light.

History: Uknown

Age: 15

Weapons: THE LIGHTNING ROD. A mysterious rod which amplifies his lightning ability ten fold.

THE DUPLICATOR

Height: 6'3''

Weight: 162 lbs.

Age: Uknown

Origin: Uknown

Bio: Uknown

Weapons: None

Powers: Can duplicate anything as many times as he wants to.



Yeah, ya' see how MYSTERIOUS The Duplicator is. Uh huh.

[FeydRautha]

I created a humourous one. It's about a mild-mannered stripper who pole dances by day, but by night she becomes.....

SKANKGIRL!!!! Making the world a safer place for skanky ho's everywhere!!

When the police commissioner needs her help, he shines a light in the sky from the top of Police HQ which is shaped like that naked chick you see on big trucks' mudflaps. She drives a super-powered Dodge Charger with all sorts of gadgets (including a condom dispenser and full make-up kit); its horn sounds like the theme tune for the Jerry Springer show.

Wherever a young girl is seeing three other guys behind her boyfriend's back and gets caught out; wherever a ho doesn't get her green or is being hassled by her pimp; wherever a woman isn't getting back child support from any of her babies' fathers; wherever a young man's been locked out of his trailer by his vengeful girlfriend - that'll be a job for SKANKGIRL!!!

Now I just have to think up a costume for her. It'll have to be suitably slutty.

[jbuck_919]

the comics code, if such a thing still exists, would not approve. We could have Hi-Guy, who with a single thought could make the brains of his enemies so stoned that they couldn't do much more than lay back and enjoy it. Very benign, when you think about it, and non-addictive, since he's not likely to be back for a second hit. Wouldn't work very well on a brainless villain like Validus from the Fatal Five, though.

[Jerk Shapiro]

Maniac's new Super-Hero!


THE MOVIE MAN!

Introducing movie illiterate people to Hitchock and Kubrick, and stopping people from watching bad movies.

He even has a tagline:


YOU WATCH PAULY SHORE, I'LL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR!


HaHaHa!

[dh1989]

Chess Master- An old homeless man with psychic powers. His name is Harold Bastvic. He came to Earth when he was 10 from a Saturn ring where his mother and father lived. He had a bad disfirgurement across his face(on his alien home a sign of psychic powers), but no human wanted to adopt him. He went from an orphanage to a job to jail until he was 76. When he left jail he made him home a dumpster next to a Japanese diner. One night he has a vision of his mum being tortured, so he uses his psychic powers for good. He sees a department store with a group of ten giant chessman on display. He, with his powers, bring them to life, and sends them to Saturn to fight! Adventure Follows....

I did about six issues. I would scan them, but theres one tiny, minor problem: I have no scanner. :(

[James Logan]

Originally posted by dh1989

I did about six issues. I would scan them, but theres one tiny, minor problem: I have no scanner. :(

Crap...know anyone who got one?

And c'mon, folks, I'm still waiting for your designs! Mine are almost ready, I'll have 'em up in a few days...

[Jerk Shapiro]

Sorry James, but I too, am scanner-less.

[Luke-Abbott]

Wow, so many people are scanner less. Well I got a scanner and I'll see what I can do, what kind of messed up hero dares to enter my already deep dank mind.........

[James Logan]

Originally posted by MOVIE-Maniac 8
Sorry James, but I too, am scanner-less.

Damn...maybe your school got a scanner? Or a friend?

[Jerk Shapiro]

Well maybe, I guess, perhaps...A friend. I like the way you think Logan.;)

[docholiday_13]

I have no scanner, but I can get access one. If everything falls out I'll just use Paintbrush to draw up my guy.


What's the plot so far, Logan? Also who's all contributing?

[James Logan]

Well, here's the plot: our good guys build up a super-hero team, called the LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY SCHMOES (LOS) and go fight a bad guy. As for who's contributing...heck, everyone is! :p

Any ideas for a bad guy or for several bad guys anyone?

[Jerk Shapiro]

Howzabout a bad guy who tries to get people to watch bad movies?


Just a thought.

[James Logan]

Originally posted by MOVIE-Maniac 8
Howzabout a bad guy who tries to get people to watch bad movies?


Nice suggestion...maybe we should call him the Anti-Schmoe. ;)

And maybe we could have JoBlo, the Arrow and "Joey Baloney" be in the comic for a small cameo...if they agree.

[blankpage]

Do you think my loveable Super Sumo could join the LOS?

BTW, I have a scanner. And it works, but I don't know what good I could do.

[ffunyman]

I have a 2 comic bok characters that I would like to submit. Fantastic Dan. I have a bunch of comics i drew for him I could just scan them. He has a league of his own called the justice friends. I could just edit them out though. Another one is philosipher Baldwin, He HAD a sidekick. You can check out his online comic here (http://community.webshots.com/user/ffunyman)

[James Logan]

Originally posted by blankpage
Do you think my loveable Super Sumo could join the LOS?


Anyone can be part of the LOS...as long as they were created by a Schmoe. You're a Schmoe, right? ;)

[docholiday_13]

The villain should be some commie/nazi/cyborg dirtbag. He needs a bunch of henchmen too.

We could go the Tarantino / Kill Bill way and have the head honcho and then 5 or 6 other underlings that are still uber badass!

Or fuck it, let's make the villain The Joker!!!

[Jerk Shapiro]

Ok. Since I don't have a scanner. I'll do the next-best thing. Post a picture of what Voltage should look like.


Yeah, like that. Except, no gun, or any of that mask stuff. And a little younger.

[blankpage]

Originally posted by James Logan
Anyone can be part of the LOS...as long as they were created by a Schmoe. You're a Schmoe, right? ;)

Nope, I'm Harry Knowles :p

[James Logan]

Originally posted by blankpage
Nope, I'm Harry Knowles :p

Die, then. ;)

[TheMovieMinor]

Hawk-Owl

[James Logan]

Originally posted by TheMovieMinor
Hawk-Owl

What does he do? Spit out dirtballs? :D

[Jerk Shapiro]

Say Logan, when will those drawings of yours' be up? I'm really anxious to see those bitches.

[James Logan]

Originally posted by MOVIE-Maniac 8
Say Logan, when will those drawings of yours' be up? I'm really anxious to see those bitches.

Workin' on 'em, workin' on 'em...

[blankpage]

Originally posted by James Logan
Die, then. ;)

And that's my cue to RUN!

[Jerk Shapiro]

Originally posted by James Logan
Workin' on 'em, workin' on 'em...



We're all getting old here Logan....

[James Logan]

Originally posted by MOVIE-Maniac 8
We're all getting old here Logan....

Well, so am I -- except for me it ain't the years, "honey", it's the mileage. ;)

[Jerk Shapiro]

Take your time buddy. Better to have a good drawing, than an ungood drawing, I always say.

[James Logan]

Originally posted by MOVIE-Maniac 8
Take your time buddy. Better to have a good drawing, than an ungood drawing, I always say.

It'll be ready before the end of the week, and then it'll be the Christmas break for me so I'll have all the time in the world to start cooking up the story and screenplay for our number one issue...

Don't you guys and gals forget to get YOUR drawings ready too!

[Jerk Shapiro]

Christmas break for me too Logan ol' pal. Maybe I can hit a friend's house, a friend who has a scanner, might I add.

I'm x'ing off the days on the calendar until Logans picture is up. I dream of what it will look like. I pray that my computer doesn't---

Ah, my incessant rambling.

[Jerk Shapiro]

*Cough* Christmas break *Cough*

[syxxpac]

Well, the Christmas break is upon us once again, and so I no longer have any schoolwork bogging me down over the holidays. Therefore, I may be able to have some artwork of The Mullet done by the end of the week. Be patient because I'm not sure about the scanner part of the plan. Also, my artwork isn't the greatest, so bear with me.

In the meantime, here is somewhat of a 'preliminary look' at The Mullet:

[Jerk Shapiro]

Hmm... he resembles some country star I know...

Nice, nice.

[Jerk Shapiro]

Bump God DAMMIT!

[TATU]

I invented Uber-Man The German version of Superman. He can outrun a speeding U.S. Tiger Tank, he can leap over U.S. Bunkers in a single bound, he's more powerful than a speeding Kamikazee plane crashing into Pearl Harbor, and he can persecute Jews from several miles away. Uberman da, da, da, da, tada...... It's Uberman. Hitler's answer to Superman.

[Jim H]

I invented physics man. I couldn't think of a better name. His ability is his super understanding of physics and the laws of movement, which is much better then it sounds. He carries various steel balls, and can accurately bounce them off like 5 walls, and after the fifth bounce knock a couple guys guns out of their hands then knock them out as well.

He also can do stuff like survive really long falls by landing correctly (little known fact, if you time it exactly right, it is possible to have LESS PSI on your body from a 10,000 foot fall then with a parachute and landing on your legs.). And deflect bullets with a shield, hitting people in the eyes with them. I never did draw him or anything, but he didn't really have a costume, just wore a trench coat with various things hidden in it.

[Anonymooo]

The League of Extraordinary Schmoes would friggin' rock. At least you guys' creations are FUNNY.

I've been working on this story for a little while that answers this question of mine.

Y'ever notice how all the nerdy types are the ones who get the super powers? Y'know, Peter Parker, Clark Kent, etc. What if a popular kid, a total jock who wasn't the nicest guy in the world (but not a jerk), got super powers instead?

Reuben Vasquez is Shatter. Aside from the usual super strength and durability(and limited flight, but he doesn't know he can do that yet), Reuben can make ignite air molecules and make 'em explode. Think of the explosions from Independence Day, only he can create and control 'em. It's also not a very safe power, since if he loses control, he could blow himself up with his own ability.

[Anonymooo]

Originally posted by Anonymooo
Reuben can make ignite air molecules and make 'em explode.

Hello gentlemen.

All your thread are belong to us.

There is no way you can survive make your time.

Ha ha ha ha ha!!

[NuclearMisfit]

Name: NuclearMisfit or Shatter

Real Name: Jeff Taylor

Age: 19

Faction: The Avengers, The XMen

Story: Was born in War stricken Poland during WW2 to a poor Polish merchant and a waitress,born with natural powers. Kidnapped by the Nazis and taught by Hitler himself to be a ruthless killing machine for the Nazi war machine he became Redskulls second in command until one day he met a man by the name of Steven Grant Rogers (Captain America) and helped him against RedSkull. He was injected by a virus created by Redskull that needed The Super Soldier Serum in order for him to live when the Serum became unstable he then joined Captain America in the fight against communism. A bomb-loaded drone plane launched by Nazi technician Baron Heinrich Zemo exploded with Cap and Shatter aboard sending them both into the icy artic being frozen for years then being found by The Avengers. Joined Xaviers school for the Gifted afterwards.

Powers:Strength beyond anyone in the comic book universe, can touch things and make them shatter or break just by thinking about it,can create earthquakes by stomping. Can pick up and carry anything.

Weakness: speed is slow.

Villain: RedSkull



Sorry if this sounds kinda long.

[TheJadedGamer]

I wrote some crappy comics when I was in Math class. Here is what I came up with:

GOOD GUYS (LEAGUE NOONE CARES ABOUT)

Willie Man- Porno star by day, crime fighter by night. Willie Johnson has almost nothing better to do with his rich and extrodanary life than to become a superhero in his spare time. Born with a gash on his right arm that always bleeds (Willie isn't effected by this at all, in fact, the blood lose doesn't even make him woozy), he armed himself in all-green and dons a fucking awesome hi-tech bow. (Think of Willie Man as a sicked version of Green Arrow) He leads a crew of his own members, called The League Noone Cares About.

Orgasmo- Once Willie Man's nemesis, Kaydence Mycock turned into Willie Man's lover. She has the super power of super orgasim. Her weapon is her whip, the Orgasmic.

Hot Dog the Skating Weenie- A mutanted Hot Dog (with bun) that loves to skateboard. While not a superhero, he does fight crime using his awesome skateboarding tricks.

Captain Pussy- Not a wuss by any means, Hummer McDaniels, first got laid in the 3rd grade by his teacher. He also comes from a long line of superheroes. His weapon....the Anal, which is in the shape of a triangle. He is Willie's best friend.

Mullet Man- Hilly Tim, a trailer trash loser, was relaxing himself in his outhouse, enjoying a copy of Wheels on Deals, and was hit by toxic chemicals. Luckily, they landed in his mullet. Soon, he was able to extended his mullet to any length and size. His arch enemy is Hemo the Homo.

Silicone Huntress- Amanda Biggins was a popular kid, but she hated one thing: her flat chest. The boob goddess Titillia granted Amanda's wish, but Amanda had to become the Silicone Huntress!

Jack of Cards- Drink and gambler, Jack Crad was hit by a semi-truck. To revive him, doctors formed a huge card, and gave him 'limitless' libs. He became the Jack of Cards.

THE EVIL PEOPLE (S.H.I.T.T.)

Tree Dude- Arch nemesis to Willie Man, Tree Dude lost his pine when he was in middle school. He turned evil and dropped out of school to pursue to be a cashier at Taco Bell. Using his magic fireballs that shoot from his mouth and his army of tacos, the Tree Dude is aiming to plant Willie Man!

Jackhammer- Always picked on, Jackhammer was a nerd. Late in his life, he wanted to get laid. He bought a hooker, but he only had money for a handjob! He crumbled, and feel into obscurity. Jackhammer returned, with two balls for cheeks and a huge boner on his head. He dress up like a hammer (the hammer part being his lower half) and became the evil Jackhammer.

Hemo the Homo- Yep, he is gay. A big fruit since bitrh, Hemo uses his evil powers for the 'good' of all homos, aka Ass Rapers.

Condomatic- Nothing much is known about 'C', but he was once a dick who was chopped off. He fell into a substance, and, mutated. He now wers a huge condom on himself and fights shooting out cum.

Plastnito- RIP OFF ALERT! This evil old dude can use the power of plastic against people. AHH! MOUNTAIN DEW ATTACK!!!

Wallie Man- Evil porn maker and Willie's nemesis. He is a top notch archer. He suits in all black to fight Willie. His real name is Wallie Ronston.


How bout it?

Make an RPG
Have a major movie
Have toys

WE WILL MAKE MILLIONS! MILLIONS!!!!!!

[The Rob]

BurbusJoe (copyright Rob), he's a stick man who wears a crown. His powers are taunting enemnies into bolivion and superior verbal prowess.

[Jim H]

Kind of like Sarcastro (still one of the greatest superheroes ever)?

[Grim H.]

In third grade, I created a character called "Space Man." He was a robot who would bust through doors, say something clever, and proceed to whoop every bad guys' ass in the room.

I've been meaning to start a comic based on a character of mine, "Grim Hippie" (copyright). The comic, called "Hellions," (copyright) would be about a hellish character named Grim Hippie who lives in the dark, deep parts of New York City, as he tries to cope with life on the surface. I'm not sure where to go from there.

[Jim H]

http://www.thetick.ws/images/sarcastro.jpg
The greatest super hero of them all!

" "I am Sarcastro, I sting at the enemy with the razor-sharp wit of sarcasm"