Python (spoilers)

[msquared]

It has been a couple of months since I watched this, so it is about time I wrote my opinion of it. The acting wasn't that great. The story was uninspired. A lot of the scenes were ludicrous. The CGI was suspect.

It was a lot of fun!

To give a general summary, this movie is about a huge snake. No, no, it was bigger than that. To put it simply, it would consider the snakes from Anaconda to be lunch. And, goshdarnit, it isn't just your run of the mill giant snake. It has characteristics of many different reptiles, making it "the perfect killing machine". And now it is loose in a small town!

I knew what I was in for after the opening scene, where two military men are transporting a huge (HUGE!) crate by plane. Now, imagine you are transporting a gigantic crate with unrevealed contents, and here something moving in there. Peering through the boards, you see something scaly moving in there. Would you (a) leave it alone (b) jump out the door <and the blazes with the parachute, no time!> (c) pick a good position to be found in (d) open up that sucker and see what's in there. Guess what these guys did.

So anyways, the snake gets loose. And that is where the (ludicrous) fun begins. Here are a few examples.

- Searching for the source of the weird hissing in the garage, a guy sees the tip of a huge tail. Instead of running for the hills, he seems to be considering what he has just seen, and...

- Seeing the giant snake coming after them, two cyclists grab their bikes, but first take a moment to put on their safety helmets. I would suggest that if one of them fell off the bike, he or she would have a more pressing concern than bumping their head.

- A man holds back the head of the snake with his bare hands!

- A women discovers that her 'no-tears' shampoo isn't exactly a quality product.

- "You woke me up for a snake? Dude!"

There are three recognizable faces in the movie. The first two are Robert England and Casper Van Dien. Do they do a good job? Let's just say they live up to the material.

Who is the third face, you say? Well, a lot of ST: TNG fans will have their greatest dream realized in Python.

While far from a hisstoric flick, anybody who enjoys bad movies should be entertained by this.

[Totem]

I was going to buy this movie one time, but I bought Jeepers Creepers and Parents instead.

[Dehydrator]

I admit that I had some mild amusement out of this, it's sadistic fun to watch Casper Van Dien shuffle on his acting career's grave, even if I don't hold any paricular dislike for him, I think nobody makes a better idiot out of himself. The rest was pretty bad though, the kind of flick that gives "straight to video" a bad name...poor Robert Englund...I think he deserves better.

[teenkiller]

What a stinker this film was. I find it hard to believe that a giant fifty foot snake was able to maneuver through the city so effortlessly without being noticed. Creature movies aren't really my thing but I bought this movie for two reasons only. BOBBY E is in it and it was in the bargain bin for $4.99. Sadly not even ENGLUND could elevate this turd. I saw ENGLUND at a convention last year where he did a Q and A and stated that there actually were a couple of movies he has done just as favors to certain people which he did not name. I am guessing this had to be one of them because he is capable of more and he should know it. On a plus note it was pretty cool to see Wil Wheaton in something. I really enjoyed him in Stand by Me and Toy Soldiers. Well thats all for now GOoD JOURNEY my fellow schmoes.