Boba Joe
02-17-2003, 12:10 AM
I've heard a lot of rumors lately that there is trouble in paradise between Brad Pitt and the Greek Goddess known as Jennifer Aniston. I hope it's just more of the useless and untrue Hollywood gossip. However, if there is just one shred of legitimate evidence, even the most microscopic chance of it being accurate, I would love to announce the simplest solution that would benefit everyone involved. We all know that Bradley could do very well for himself on any Saturday night...his dance card is full for the next millennium. However, I would like to be the first one to offer myself up for the extremely beautiful and talented Jennifer. Honestly, believe it or not, I don't make as much money as Brad Pitt does. Not only "not in the same ballpark"...hell, more like "not in the same country". But that's ok. I think Jennifer is really not into money, material things and wouldn't mind getting by paycheck to paycheck. I would take care of her real nice and even upgrade to a 2-bedroom apartment if she wanted. But if she insisted on bein' my "sugar momma", I guess I could live with that. I also look nothing at all like Brad Pitt. One of my grade school teachers once said I "fell out of the ugly tree and hit every damn branch on the way down." I'm not sure what that means, but I don't think Ms. Aniston is into looks either. I could be convinced to wear the paper bag, but I find that quite uncomfortable whenever I dine out.
I'm hoping Jennifer will read this next time she checks out the Joblo forums (Which I know she does...who doesn't?!). I'm all yours, babe. Use me. You need a rebound after Brad? I'm your guy. Want me to ditch my wife? No problem...always needed a good reason to do that. Or we could keep it a secret and I'll explain that all of the weekend trips to North Hollywood is just business. She'll buy it. Can't be that smart if she married me, right? Anyhoo. If things are cool between the Hollwyood couple, that's great. If not...I sure wouldn't mind bein' Jennifer's midnight booty call. And if she wants a serious relationship, I'm willing to stay committed to her for 4-5 months. It's all up to her. Jennifer, I'm waiting...
I'm hoping Jennifer will read this next time she checks out the Joblo forums (Which I know she does...who doesn't?!). I'm all yours, babe. Use me. You need a rebound after Brad? I'm your guy. Want me to ditch my wife? No problem...always needed a good reason to do that. Or we could keep it a secret and I'll explain that all of the weekend trips to North Hollywood is just business. She'll buy it. Can't be that smart if she married me, right? Anyhoo. If things are cool between the Hollwyood couple, that's great. If not...I sure wouldn't mind bein' Jennifer's midnight booty call. And if she wants a serious relationship, I'm willing to stay committed to her for 4-5 months. It's all up to her. Jennifer, I'm waiting...