Blind Date Hell: Cinema Style

[Lady Summerisle]

So you are obligated to go on a blind date via Susie's vast connection with the world around her, trouble is, you go to the door to meet your date and he is possibly the worst person you could feast your eyes on...

From all the movies you've seen, who are the worst blind date picks a friend could ever inflict upon you.

WEIRD SCIENCE 's Chet (Bill Paxton)- There's a reason that Lisa turned him into a giant turd.

Buddy Reperton in CHRISTINE -Its bad enough that he was a John Travolta wannabe, this clunker of a date would end very quickly with a warrant for this guys arrest.

Trashcan Man (Matt Frewer) from STEPHEN KING'S THE STAND . Either an atomically bad choice for a blind date or the end of the world is coming. You pick.

Renfield (Tom Waits) from BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA . Its hard to have small talk when your date is expounding how tatsty the crunchy beetle is, and how his Master will come for him.

Skeletor (Frank Langella) and his gold pimp suit in MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE Megalomaniacs are no fun, especially when they have to possess all or they possess nothing.

Lucifer (Viggo Mortenson) from THE PROPHECY - Eating hearts is one thing, but telling everyone to come back to the bosom of the Devil coud make Sushi very hard to swallow when your trying to have fun.

Heathcliff (Lawrence Olivier) from WUTHERING HEIGHTS - He won't shut up about Cathy.

[Grebdron]

Ricky from Better Off Dead.

[blankpage]

Bill Paxton from Frailty
Jaws from Jaws

[Grebdron]

Motherfucker Jay from J & SBSB

[blankpage]

Originally posted by Grebdron
Motherfucker Jay from J & SBSB

What?! Jay would be an awsome date. I hear he's a tiger in the sack ;).

[Lady Summerisle]

A new addition to my list of bad blind dates:

Johnny Smith (Chris Walken) from THE DEAD ZONE. Not only would he resemble Chris Walken, he'd be able to predict the end of the date, and the other peoples dates. Premonitions from the Dead Zone in the mind could damper ones experience.

Any of the Alpha Males of the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE series would suck the big one:

Lefty (Dennis Hopper in a ten gallon and equipped with chainsaws for dueling)
Vilmer (Matt McConaughey and that robotic leg)
Tex (Viggo Mortenson, before everyone loved him) and his questionable hygiene.
Drayton Sawyer feeding you chili with "peppercorns"
Choptop and Nubbins, a dynamic duo.

[Buck Turgidson]

Crispin Glover from River's Edge

[electriclite]

This ones REAL easy......


Patrick Bateman American Psycho.


Ahhhh, nothing says potential for romance more than Huey Lewis and the cold steel of a nail gun pressed to the back of your head.....

[Shockwave]

Jason from Friday the 13th! nothings better then a corpse thats been dead for 20 years sitting next to u, acting like a stiff, and killing off you friends when you arent looking!


"want some popcorn?"

[bowieee]

If it was a girl:

Serial mom from Serial Mom. she would keep stopping the car to look at the pussy willows and I'm sure as hell not eating any of her home cooked meals if they look like spleen.


If it was a guy:
Frank from Blue Velvet.


I could see it now. Taking me out to the dentist for a gaseous treat and then he would end the date by humping my leg.

[Lady Summerisle]

But bowieee,

Frank would make such an interesting date! We'd go to Ben's for some Pabst Blue Ribbon, a little Roy Orbison, and at the end of the night, his henchman Raymond would escort me to the door because Frank was busy tweaking his own nipples.

Dennis Hopper makes really bad date material, doesn't he?
I'd date the lovable toker, though.


Dawn of the Dead's Roger (Scott Reiniger). Too freakin' energetic for his own good.
Day of the Dead's Captain Rhodes (Joe Pilato)= As attractive as Rhodes was, his attitude toward life is awful, and his tendency to piss off zombies is worriesome, how could he handle a maitre'd?

[bowieee]

This topic is fun :D

Some more:


Female:
The Bride of Frankenstein. True she has the coolest hair do around but her constant hissing would get annoying after awhile.

Marie from innocent blood. she's hot, she's french... but I tend to not go for girls who's eyes glow in the dark.

Male

Alex from a Clockwork orange. Would take his date for some Milk plus and then a little in and out while beating them down with a giant penis statue. Damn those giant Penis Statues when will the companies learn to put a warning labels on them.

Dad Meiks from frailty. Everything would be fine and dandy until he tried to hold my hand and then all of a sudden I'm a "demon" and not good "dating material". Then there is the whole axe issue.

[bowieee]

Originally posted by Lady Summerisle
But bowieee,

Frank would make such an interesting date! We'd go to Ben's for some Pabst Blue Ribbon, a little Roy Orbison, and at the end of the night, his henchman Raymond would escort me to the door because Frank was busy tweaking his own nipples.

Dennis Hopper makes really bad date material, doesn't he?
I'd date the lovable toker, though.


Dawn of the Dead's Roger (Scott Reiniger). Too freakin' energetic for his own good.
Day of the Dead's Captain Rhodes (Joe Pilato)= As attractive as Rhodes was, his attitude toward life is awful, and his tendency to piss off zombies is worriesome, how could he handle a maitre'd?

I'm telling you summerisle nothing makes that special moment that much more special than a can of pabst blue ribbon special :)

[Romero&Juliet]

Dolphin blue (from The Reflecting skin)

Its safe to say that this one would be a ticking time bomb..firstly, she's soooo hung up over her ex that its all she'll talk about when she sees the pigeon-y amish twins. She'd show up in her frog-guts caked dress and a veil. Oh, that irresistable pout!

"well, I had a wonderful afternoon..."

"SMELLLL MY DEAD ONE!"

[Romero&Juliet]

Faye Dunaway's character in Barfly

Afte a long night of clubbing, she'll take you back to her place for some lukewarm whiskey and raw corn.... then you can watch her have a nervous breakdown..!

[Lady Summerisle]

Dad Meiks from frailty. Everything would be fine and dandy until he tried to hold my hand and then all of a sudden I'm a "demon" and not good "dating material". Then there is the whole axe issue.

bowieee,

The Pax is gettin'a romantic whuppin' so heres one the Pax's worst Blind Date characters to hit the screen:

Gus, the garbageman in THE DARK BACKWARD , he likes to fornicate with obese women, eat really moldy food, indulge in necrophiliac tendencies, play AN ACCORDION!, andpal around with Judd Nelson.
Licking dog crap in a sauce off of him is not the evening I'd want to spend with my possible blind date.

Also,

Mario Belato from BLOOD FOR DRACULA . Sure he's cute, and likes to take his clothes off, but he'd dust off that Marxist rhetoric he likes to spout and assert his manly powers over me ( "Why don't you get rid of that virginity of yours?")
Quel romantique, Mario!

[bowieee]

Originally posted by Romero&Juliet
Faye Dunaway's character in Barfly

Afte a long night of clubbing, she'll take you back to her place for some lukewarm whiskey and raw corn.... then you can watch her have a nervous breakdown..!

Sorry Romero but Fayes character in Barfly really intrigued me in an alcholic blurish sort of way.

[bowieee]

Originally posted by Lady Summerisle
bowieee,

The Pax is gettin'a romantic whuppin' so heres one the Pax's worst Blind Date characters to hit the screen:

Gus, the garbageman in THE DARK BACKWARD , he likes to fornicate with obese women, eat really moldy food, indulge in necrophiliac tendencies, play AN ACCORDION!, andpal around with Judd Nelson.
Licking dog crap in a sauce off of him is not the evening I'd want to spend with my possible blind date.

Also,

Mario Belato from BLOOD FOR DRACULA . Sure he's cute, and likes to take his clothes off, but he'd dust off that Marxist rhetoric he likes to spout and assert his manly powers over me ( "Why don't you get rid of that virginity of yours?")
Quel romantique, Mario!

You may be the first female on earth to not find Joe attractive. Well Udo hogs all the sex appeal in that movie.


I just thought of another worst date.

The landlord landy from kingpin. Ugh *shiver* *shiver again*