Sit the fuck down when the credits start to roll!!

[Paterfamilias]

The following is my open letter to people who stand in front of me when the end credits are rolling.

Now, I understand people who don't want to watch the credits, but they should just quickly move to the aisle and get the fuck out. When I saw Buce Almighty, this couple just stands up and stretches. Then they realize that there's some outtakes and stuff and they just stood there. About 30% of the theater was standing.

Dear cock-munchers:
Hey asswipes, sit the fuck down or move to the fuckin' door. The movie is not bloody over until the screen goes dark. Don't stand in front of me to gather up your popcorn, purse, etc. while I am still watching things that the director has put on the screen, listening to the score, etc.

If you are in such a pissin' hurry to get out and get on with your oh so important lives than at least have the courtesy to make some effort to do it with a sense of fuckin urgency. For fuck's sake put a spring in your step and GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!

This may sound a little excessive, but damn it people the credits mean something to a geek like me. I want to know who that was that had a bit part but stole the scene, I want to know who did sound, I want to know what that song was that fit so perfectly in the chase scene or whatever. If you don't give a flying fuck, then God bless ya but move your fat ass or suffer my torturous, mother-fuckin, ass blastin', ball-kickin', bitch-slappin', pillar of motherfuckin fire, burning wrath.

Now, the Paterfamilias is a peace-lovin' God-fearin' family man, but I've had about enough of this inconsiderate horse shit and next time some sorry ass mother fucker stands and stretches and pussy's around while I'm watchin the credits, I will not hesitate, I will not studder, I will not tarry, I will proceed to unleash some serious big, hairy, pimply, ass-whoopin!

I mean it. Cut it the fuck out!!

[Grebdron]

AK-47. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room. Accept no substitutes

[quoth_the_raven]

well said pater. some prick did that to me when i was waiting around after Matrix reloaded to watch the revolutuions trailer. a tap on the shoulder and a dirty look worked wonders.....

[BorderEevilIII]

the outtakes of Bruce Almighty were bland. I didnt miss a thing. LIAR LIAR was waaay funnier than Bruce...

[Paterfamilias]

Originally posted by BorderEevilIII
the outtakes of Bruce Almighty were bland. I didnt miss a thing. LIAR LIAR was waaay funnier than Bruce...

And if pussy ass motherfuckers stood in front of me while Liar Liar's credits were rolling, I'd kick their asses too!!!

[MarkItZero]

Originally posted by Paterfamilias
And if pussy ass motherfuckers stood in front of me while Liar Liar's credits were rolling, I'd kick their asses too!!!

Sorry dude, that was me standing in front of you.

:D

[Paterfamilias]

Originally posted by MarkItZero
Sorry dude, that was me standing in front of you.

:D

I knew I recognized that ass form somewhere.:D

[The Delfonics]

Good rant Pater!! I HATE at the end of the movie when people start leaving and then stop when they see something on the screen right in the middle of leaving!! Either keep fucking walking or stay seated if you wanna see the extra shit! OMFG!!

[quoth_the_raven]

Originally posted by Paterfamilias
I knew I recognized that ass form somewhere.:D


has he toned it at all since i last saw it????

:D:D

[MarkItZero]

Listen you buttlickers! My ass looks damn good. Always has, always will!

And it is a much better show than watching to see who the 3rd Assistant Gaffer was. You should feel honored that I am gracing your vision with my retina-friendly bum.

[quoth_the_raven]

Originally posted by MarkItZero

And it is a much better show than watching to see who the 3rd Assistant Gaffer was. You should feel honored that I am gracing your vision with my retina-friendly bum.


you know just for a second, i read that as rectum friendly bum....which, when you think about it, is subtly different ;)

[vastlynne]

Damn straight, boy. Now that's a fuckin' rant!

This also irratates me...people hustling and bustling towards the end of the movie even before the credit starts to roll. WTF? At least have the courtesy to quiet the fuck down until the movie is over. They're so afraid of not getting out of there on time before the big traffic that they don't even finish the movie. What fucktards.

[Scarface98.9]

I know this may not make a difference to you, but assuming the theater's not crowded, when the credits role, and they're doing stretches, why not simply move to the seat NEXT to you?

[Paterfamilias]

Originally posted by Scarface98.9
I know this may not make a difference to you, but assuming the theater's not crowded, when the credits role, and they're doing stretches, why not simply move to the seat NEXT to you?

Well, thank you for the suggestion. I'll take that into consideration next time some dickweed impedes my view. I'll just say, honey let's move over cause this inconsiderate sperm bank is in my way. No, wait , on second thought I think I 'll just beat the living hell out of the stupid son of a bitch,lay him across our seats, knock all his teeth our so I can use his mouth as my fuckin' cup holder, and sit nice and tall on his lifeless corpse!!!! Then I'll be able to see over all the other assholes who are walkin' out. Yes, I think that would be much better.



See if I just moved, then i wouldn't have anything to rant about:D

[MarkItZero]

Originally posted by Paterfamilias
No, wait , on second thought I think I 'll just beat the living hell out of the stupid son of a bitch,lay him across our seats, knock all his teeth our so I can use his mouth as my fuckin' cup holder, and sit nice and tall on his lifeless corpse!!!!

All while reading the tiny printed credits rolling down the screen.

As an IT consultant, we would call that "multi-tasking"

I'm impressed!

[Paterfamilias]

Originally posted by MarkItZero
All while reading the tiny printed credits rolling down the screen.

As an IT consultant, we would call that "multi-tasking"

I'm impressed!

Ok, I may miss second unit director and gaffer, but I'll be settled in again by the time "best boy" comes along

[AgentSmith]

I totally agree with everything you said..

People did that to me last year at LOTR:TT...

[Lynn7]

I went to see the zellweger/ what's his name movie about a month ago- (the one set in the 60's) and at the end everyone stood up and left and it turned out there were about 5 minutes left to the movie- the credits began to roll and then after a minute the movie started up again to show an additonal scene and then the music video that the two actors did together which was pretty cute as an ending- too bad everyone missed it. I almost always stay for credits and hate it when people stand up in front of me.

I can picture the actor but can't think of his name- he was in Moulin Rouge with Kidman.

[MarkItZero]

Ewan McGregor

I believe. Though the spelling may be off.

[DareDevil]

i like to see the extra stuff in the credits, but i usualy see it like 50 times or so while the movies at my theatre, so its not to important to me

may i suggest staying for finding nemo! theres a cool like cameo from a certian pixar charachter!

[RickySlade]

I can understand what your saying IF there are extras when the credits are rolling but hell, if it just cuts to words I'm outta there.

[Justin Harris]

Originally posted by Paterfamilias
The following is my open letter to people who stand in front of me when the end credits are rolling.

Now, I understand people who don't want to watch the credits, but they should just quickly move to the aisle and get the fuck out. When I saw Buce Almighty, this couple just stands up and stretches. Then they realize that there's some outtakes and stuff and they just stood there. About 30% of the theater was standing.

Dear cock-munchers:
Hey asswipes, sit the fuck down or move to the fuckin' door. The movie is not bloody over until the screen goes dark. Don't stand in front of me to gather up your popcorn, purse, etc. while I am still watching things that the director has put on the screen, listening to the score, etc.

If you are in such a pissin' hurry to get out and get on with your oh so important lives than at least have the courtesy to make some effort to do it with a sense of fuckin urgency. For fuck's sake put a spring in your step and GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!

This may sound a little excessive, but damn it people the credits mean something to a geek like me. I want to know who that was that had a bit part but stole the scene, I want to know who did sound, I want to know what that song was that fit so perfectly in the chase scene or whatever. If you don't give a flying fuck, then God bless ya but move your fat ass or suffer my torturous, mother-fuckin, ass blastin', ball-kickin', bitch-slappin', pillar of motherfuckin fire, burning wrath.

Now, the Paterfamilias is a peace-lovin' God-fearin' family man, but I've had about enough of this inconsiderate horse shit and next time some sorry ass mother fucker stands and stretches and pussy's around while I'm watchin the credits, I will not hesitate, I will not studder, I will not tarry, I will proceed to unleash some serious big, hairy, pimply, ass-whoopin!

I mean it. Cut it the fuck out!!

Well, unless blooper reels are going or unless you worked on the film... you sound like you need to take some prozac or valium. If credits are really important to you... there's always IMDb.

[Paterfamilias]

Originally posted by Justin Harris
... you sound like you need to take some prozac or valium.

Perfect!! then my rant was successful!!

[The Postmaster General]

You should stand on your chair and make it really obvious that you can't see because they are standing.

Either that, or light a cigar and start laughing while staring at them. That works as a last resort.

[SykkBoy]

Originally posted by Paterfamilias
Well, thank you for the suggestion. I'll take that into consideration next time some dickweed impedes my view. I'll just say, honey let's move over cause this inconsiderate sperm bank is in my way. No, wait , on second thought I think I 'll just beat the living hell out of the stupid son of a bitch,lay him across our seats, knock all his teeth our so I can use his mouth as my fuckin' cup holder, and sit nice and tall on his lifeless corpse!!!! Then I'll be able to see over all the other assholes who are walkin' out. Yes, I think that would be much better.



See if I just moved, then i wouldn't have anything to rant about:D

some people have issues...you have a subscription...


...as a credit watcher though, I, too hate that shit....

[Paterfamilias]

Originally posted by SykkBoy
some people have issues...you have a subscription...


...as a credit watcher though, I, too hate that shit....

LOL.

Credit watchers Unite!!!!! We must stand united.

Here's the plan. We must stop taking this shit. We must act without hesitation. If some butt cowboy impedes your God-given right to watch the credits in motherfuckin peace, you take 'em down. Take 'em down to Chinatown! Show no mercy, give no quarter.

If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he's Charles Bronson, take the butt of your popcorn bucket and smash their nose in. You might get some bitch talk shit to you, but give her a look like you're gonna smash her in the face next, watch her shut the fuck up.

It may seem harsh, but soon word will get out. Don't fuck with the credit watchers! Who's with me???