NOWHERE (2/10)

[AppleHuntr]

This is a little seen (thank god) "hip" indie film that I think is one of the worst films Ive ever seen.

The "plot" revolves around Dark (James Duval, oras we refer to him "keanu reeves' retarded kid brother") and a bunch of other horny, obnoxious teens with stupid names who wander around LA talking about pointless shit using obnoxious lingo and screw everyone, and cameos galore ensue.

This film is just so IRRITATING! Its so obvious that director Gregg Araki is thinking how hip and edgy and shocking his film is but he fails at every turn. Everything about the film has such a "we know we're cool" attitude that I felt like throwing things at the TV.

The film includes (SPOILERS): nipple rings being pulled out by teeth, some former Brady Bunchers discovering their daughters head in the oven, a baywatch star playing himself raping someone, someone being beaten to death by a can of tomato soup, an alien walking around zapping people, crazed murderers and finally someone explodes...and turns into a giant cockroach.

thats really what the film is; no plot just a random bunch of scenes.

Cameos include John Ritter, Shannon Doherty, Denise Richards, Traci Lords, Rose McGowan and many more.

The cast also includes: Mena Suvari, Heather Graham (who gets eaten out by Ryan Phillipe), Christina Applegate, Scott Caan, Jordan Ladd, and many, many others

I know this makes the film sound at the least, fun (truth is i had heard some of this stuff and who was in it and wanted to see it, even after hearing how bad it was), it actually is "entertaining" i guess, but the film isnt just out there for you to enjoy, it thinks its so much more. Its just dripping with pretension. It has so many elements that couldve made a good film: good cast, killer soundtrack and highly odd situations, but its all so misused it can make one angry (like me! argh! jk).

i give it 2/10 for the above mentioned cast and soundtrack, and it wasnt boring and can make for some good eye candy, but it gets nothing else right.

[Mike]

A 2/10? Don't you think that's a little harsh? :D


Anyway, I actually saw this a couple of months ago or so, and I pretty much agree with you that it's basically eye candy, with a good cast and soundtrack. I couldn't help but feel like it had a message though, I just wasn't sure what that message was, but you could probably easily make one up and say that it's the films message, so then you can defend it and say that it REALLY DOES have a purpose. Unfortunately, I just don't care enough to make one up. I was never bored though, the movie looked good, the cast was good, and the soundtrack was very cool.

I wouldn't be quite as harsh and give it a 2/10, because I actually didn't hate it. My rating is a 6/10 (C+). It's a mindfuck movie that never explains itself, but it's nice to look at.

[AppleHuntr]

I probably was too harsh on it but everyone has one of those movies that when its brought up (I was reminded of it in Mikes Gay Movie Tournament) it just makes ya feel like ranting.

Entertainment Weekly agreed with me at least, when they reviewed The Rules of Attraction they basically called it Nowhere done right.


oh, and theres definitly no message, the director may claim otherwise but there aint no message.:p

[Mike]

I know what you mean. Everyone has certain movies that make them go off on a ranting spree whenever they hear their title mentioned.

And has the director said there's a message? Has he said what the message is? Because I'd like to know what it is if there's supposed to be one.