First 10 minutes of my screenplay: Crystal Falls

[X-Nightcrawler]

Much before the twistedness kicks in. Opinions please?

[someguy]

That title sounds a lot like another title but I can't put my finger on it. ;)

[X-Nightcrawler]

You're like the 7th person who tells me that.

[someguy]

I know but still....

[TheJadedGamer]

Yeah, I like Darkness Falls, err..Crystal Falls. J/K

Good job so far, but you know I don't understand it, because you already tried telling me what it is about.

Can't wait!

[Inglorious]

Yeah X, It's pretty cool! Although, yes, when I heard the title I thought both about Cherry Falls and Darkness Falls. Hmmm... A little confusing, but just a little.

[X-Nightcrawler]

Oh god! You thought that was confusing?? It gets much, much worse! And I AM changing the title. I want it to be the name of the town, any suggestions?

[C-Desecration-]

This is great! I really do love that you've put in more directorial moves into the screenplay--FD3 read a little like a limp novel, as I said in that thread.

No, not confusing in the slightest. I mean, I'm not sure what's going on, but the basic narrative (John's strange encounter in the town . . . the new girl, etc. . Change the name! Crystal Falls? Is this a wine or a town?) is very easy to follow. Keep at it!

X, you should rename this Silent Hill (just kidding). I'm guessing you used the game as some inspiration? Well, try to make it somewhat different (I hear SH is in development, so if you want the screenplay to stand a chance at being made, fix it so compared with a SH movie it wouldn't be a copy-cat). You got to get going on this screenplay, man! Wow! Surreal imagery, story, and mind-fucks, oh my! Although right now it definately isn't up to the level it could be, but hey--it's the beginning. I'm sure it'll up the ante considerably later on.
One last thing: make sure it makes sense. Don't go all HORROR (the movie) on our asses, and say "gee, everything is, uh, symbolism". Try to wrap it up logically (in the universe of the movie), and I'll be the first one to grab a ticket for Cherry Falls . . . well, hopefully it will have a name change. Maybe 'Distortion', 'Turning Backwards', or 'The Path to Nowehere' . . . something to convey the strangeness of it all.

[Hell Phantom]

Do you have to have the title of the movie the same as the name of the town?

I gave you a title on Joblo chat... Twilight Illusions

Why not call the town Damion or something and call the movie Twilight Illusions or call the town Twilight...

[Inglorious]

No X! I said it was a little confusing. :)
Not like, "I'm so lost." Kinda like "I hope I can keep up!". You know what I mean? :confused:

[X-Nightcrawler]

Thanks for the props. All those titles are really cool ("Twilight Illisions" kicks ass) but I still think the town's name is more intriguing for a movie. I am not calling it Crystal falls...

Then, I thought of "Crystal Peak" but hello X-Nightcrawler!!! Twin Peaks?? So I thought "Forest Meadow" but it's not horror enough, too Zelda-ish. So I came up with "Crystal Glade" and I think it's all right, what do you think?

[someguy]

How about crescent moon?

[Hell Phantom]

Originally posted by someguy
How about crescent moon?

that's not bad

[someguy]

I was joking.

Hey phanty come in the chat room.

[Inglorious]

Originally posted by X-Nightcrawler
So I thought "Forest Meadow" but it's not horror enough, too Zelda-ish. So I came up with "Crystal Glade" and I think it's all right, what do you think?

1. Wasn't in F13th Pt. 6: The camp called "Camp Forest Green Meadows" or something?
2. "Crystal Glade" isn't too bad X. I would use that as a working title over "Crystal Falls". But, not in offense, I think between all of and yourself we could come up with something a little more creative...
3. Do you insist on the towns name having "Crystal" in it?

[X-Nightcrawler]

It was called Forest Green I think and yes...damn!
He, it's not like I want it...I just find 'Crystal' a very intriguing title for the town. Any suggestions?

[C-Desecration-]

Come on, man. A town named 'crystal-anything' just screams bad movie.

" The town of Cherry Murder!"
" . . . of Crystal Tubering!"
" . . . Fallout meadow!"
" . . . Bludgen falls!"

Have you ever heard of a town named like that? Especially in a movie like this that seems to be surreal, it is important to make everything you can as REALISTIC as possible, so that the fantasticaly elements are easier to swallow. Sorry, it seems that, like another schmoe said, you could easily come up with something more creative.
Just put in a title that gives the film a good, strange-ass vibe. Or, wait until you finish the screenplay--I'm sure many titles will come to you when you read it. To bad "The Edge" was already used in a movie, that would be a good title. As in, the edge (of sanity). Maybe "Going Nowhere"? Something that contradicts itself sounds good for this one. Or some gnarly title; (ex. malice, desecration, desperation, nowhere) . . . huh, maybe "mirage". I don't know.

Best advice? Finish it up, look at what you wrote, what it's all about, what is the message, and a title will probably come.

[Hell Phantom]

Originally posted by C-Desecration-
Best advice? Finish it up, look at what you wrote, what it's all about, what is the message, and a title will probably come.

Well that's how I came up with Twilight Illusions... X gave me a very small plot for it and it contains illusions, it also kinda sounds like something from the Twilight Zone so: Twilight Illusions came to mind...

Good luck wit the script X

[Pumpkinhead]

I would suggest taking "Crystal" out of it, because that word automatically makes people think of Friday the 13th.

[Lindsey]

Originally posted by Pumpkinhead
I would suggest taking "Crystal" out of it, because that word automatically makes people think of Friday the 13th.

Or a cheap hooker name!?! ;)

I would just like to say that X-Nightcrawler is actually. Quentin Tarantino in disguise. Sorry man, I just had to expose you. :)

[X-Nightcrawler]

I love how in this boards, I am:

-Quentin Tarantino in disguise.
-A computer hacker.
-A spy from Dimension films.
-A normal 17 year old.

Thats a lot of jobs!

And yes. Ill follow C-Desacration's advice.

[TheJadedGamer]

AHH! YOUR A SPY FROM DIMENSION FILMS! You bastard! j/k

What about 'The Crystal Falls' or something? Follow my advice! Just put 'The' or add an 's' to anything your write! That's the way to go!

But are you a spy for Dimension? I'm going to have to kill you, my friend.

[X-Nightcrawler]

Originally posted by TheJadedGamer
But are you a spy for Dimension? I'm going to have to kill you, my friend. There's only one way to find out...if Hellraiser or Evil Dead gets remade...I am. If not...don't kill me schmoes. http://www.angelfire.com/comics/atpdownloads1/images/Ncsmiles/nc_huge_grin.gif

[TheJadedGamer]

You can't POOF out of this problem, Wagner! I'm going to find out!!!

[X-Nightcrawler]

Ask Romero or Lindsey!! They'll tell you...and look how i can...*BAMF*

http://www.angelfire.com/comics/atpdownloads1/images/Ncsmiles/nc_huge_grin.gif

[TheJadedGamer]

AHHHH!!!

[Lindsey]

Originally posted by X-Nightcrawler
Ask Romero or Lindsey!!


I ain't saying nothing until I speak to my lawyer first....:D

[TheJadedGamer]

AHHH! YOUR ALL IN ON IT!!!!

This is just a big plot to bring Dimension to complete rule over the other movie industries. See, if Dimension can keep shitting out sequel like my aunt did babies, maybe they will make a shit load of money of some dumbasses at video stores. (Ohh! Navy SEALS!)
Then when that is over, Dimension will kill our President, and rename America. It will be called the United States of Dimension and Its Crappy Straight to Video Sequel Nation, and Dimension will rule with an iron fist.
Not only then will lone survivors of the Dimension attack ban together to fight the evil corparation. These, are of course, schmoes at the forums on www.joblo.com. Using their movie knowledge and cunning smarts, they will using Lindsey's avatar to bring Dimension down to its knees. With a swift blow, they will kill the Chairman of Dimension, and restore our nation.
But, in the future, Dimension will send a cyborg back in time. A cyborg that looks like Jean-Claude Van Damm. He will hunt to destory the King of All Schmoes and, hopefully, leave to have a very bad sequel.
The lesser schmoes destory this Jean-Claude Van Damm look alike with the help of a Steven Segal look alike, thus saving the human race until another sequel from Dimension. But it won't be over just yet.
Another sequel, titled "The Revenge of Dimension: We Make Bad Movies" strikes big at the box office 4 years after the Jean-Claude Van Damm look alike tried to kill the King of All Schmoes. But, due to poor video rental sales, Dimension crashes and burns, spewing out shitty sequels like Halloween 26: Michael Gets A Blow Job, and Hellraiser 17: These Needles in My Head Hurt.
With Dimension finally dead, we can all live a happy, healthly life with Victoria Silvsted, Playmate of the Year, and the hottest thing to come out of Canada in my opinion, A.J. Cook.

BOOYA!

[X-Nightcrawler]

I will help the schmoes. *starts woorking on a Chevy Chase lookalike cyborg*

[X-Nightcrawler]

Named it. "Hometown", it's basically because of the plot. I'll upload it later. Thanks again.