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View Full Version : Harry Knowles proclaims SECONDHAND LIONS "a film not worth living without!"


dh1989
08-29-2003, 08:01 PM
Ain't It Cool News:

HUB
Damn it! If you want to believe
in something, then believe in
it! Just because something isn’t
true, that’s no reason you can’t
believe in it!

What a great bit of dialogue that is… what a saying to carry around. At some point or another in SECONDHAND LIONS it is spoken with absolute conviction by Robert Duvall. It is the sort of dialogue that you can take outside a movie, apply to so many things. In it’s simplest form it is about faith.

When you’re a kid growing up in this world you realize there’s all sorts of things that grown-ups tell kids that are lies. Usually it starts with something like Santa Claus… moves on to cover phrases like, “Everything is going to be all right,” and well… you know what I’m talking about. Those moments in life where you just stop believing in things, be they your parents, God, public officials and ultimately in yourself. It is all a part of growing up, becoming a man, a woman… an adult some say, but the thing that happens along the way is if you’re lucky you find things to believe in. Things you know not to be true, but it’s those bits of fantasy in a life that make it magical. That give it a sparkle, a comfort and a reason to go through that next day, to achieve that goal you have in mind. You learn the proper use of tall tales and mythological creations… Along with the need to pass them on. SECONDHAND LIONS is about that. It’s about ceasing to be that boy that’s scared of that crazy world out there and instead embraces it and dares to dream and believe in things he can’t see, know or touch as being certainties. Personally, that’s beautiful to me.

SECONDHAND LIONS is the best film that a friend of mine has made. I’ve known director/writer Tim McCanlies for a good while now. He’s attended 3 out of 4 Butt-Numb-A-Thons, never with a film, always as a fan of it. He wrote perhaps the best film this site has ever championed… THE IRON GIANT. He’s just directed one of the best films I’ve had a privilege to write about.

In a media sense, this film is where Haley Joel Osment makes the transition from being a great child-actor, to being a great teenage-actor. This is the film that Shirley Temple never found. The one that took her from being just the cutest little girl in the world to being a young woman. Because she never found her SECONDHAND LIONS, she wound up becoming a politician.

The story can be told very glibly by a reviewer:
SECONDHAND LIONS is the heart-warming tale of discovery. When young Walter is left with a pair of cantankerous old coots for the summer, he learns more than he bargained for.

YUCK, right?

Right.

In many ways, that’s how SECONDHAND LIONS is being sold in trailers. “I SEE GRUMPY OLD MEN!”
Instead, in many ways… the film is far closer to being about the childhood of Bill Watterson as one would imagine. What’s the story behind Calvin & Hobbes? What were his parents really like? Who bought him the rayguns? Where’d he get Hobbes and who named him? This film in many ways is the story behind that all. You see, we begin with a cartoonist drawing a strip with a young boy and a lion… Art by Berkeley Breathed, btw… Actually… that’s not true, we start in a plane, a bi-plane… an old World War 1 plane doing aerial ballet moves… the sequence seems to celebrate life, then we cut to an adult Walter amongst his art, when the phone rings… It’s the sheriff, he’s got some bad news… Walter… Walter…

BAM – we’re on Haley Joel Osment (Walter as an old boy/young man age… the cusp of being a teenager.) It was like watching a live-action Pixar movie, except better than that. You see, I know that’s hard to believe, but this is the writer of THE IRON GIANT, which is, for me at least, even better than the Pixar films. Here, you have the same basic perspective. A young kid being placed in an unlikely tale. One filled with whimsy and characters and things that are all sorts of improbable… but they happen to be true, well… as true as a fictional film goes, but for this boy… this fictional film is his reality, and he has a lot to learn about life here… and he does.

I wish the film had been being sold to audiences as a mystery. Shots of a room filled with money, a shot of a room filled with gold. That old lady saying, “I know, for a fact, that they’re really ex-Mafia hit-men, on the run with millions they stole from Al Capone…” While Showing Hub and Garth alternately firing shotguns at salesmen and hoe-ing the garden. Then Haley saying, “So that’s how you got all your money? The gold from the sheik?” As we see hub sword fighting with the plunger in his sleep. Next: “…your uncles match the description of two big-time bank robbers from the 20’s and 30’s.” as he uncovers a picture of a beautiful Arabic lady covered in sand. Sell the mystery of a boy in the care of insane men that may be heroes or villains… Treasure that may be gold or stolen loot. A farm with Lions, Giraffes, Dogs and a Pig. Sell it as a summer of mystery that changed his life forever. That’s what this film is. Not some goofy wink and nod Disney knock-off.

To me, the most appealing thing about the film is the mystery of who Hub and Garth are? What is the truth? Is there a truth? It is about believing in what you need to believe in. That’s the key. Ultimately, you must choose something to believe in, otherwise you have nothing to think about in those quiet moments in life. I mean… after the final revelations of the film, I can still argue a couple of different ways that perhaps it was all true. You see… For me, I didn’t want them to just be Heroes or just be Villains. I believe these old men did everything that life could ever throw at them. I believe there are mysteries about Michael Caine’s Garth that run even deeper than Duvall’s. I believe Duvall is more enigmatic in the film… But there’s a sly knowing glimmer behind everything that Caine says that tells of his story.

It might just be that cinematically – I know both Duvall and Caine. I know they’ve been both Heroes and Villains. I know that when I look at them, they carry so much history with every look and glance – that even though the story that is spoken is great – these two great actors are telling two or three other stories without saying em. But then, that’s why these two guys are Robert Duvall and Michael Caine. They’ve been lawyers, cross-dressing psychopaths, spies, hit men, pirates, lovers, sportsmen and more. The characters in SECONDHAND LIONS have been all that and more perhaps. One could scarcely imagine the adventures they’ve led.

In the throes of one action scene, Duvall clutches a character by the throat and over the gurgling of his victim he lets out:

HUB
I’m Hub McCann. I’ve fought in
two World Wars and countless
smaller ones on three continents.
I’ve led thousands of men into
battle with horses and swords,
artillery and tanks. I’ve seen
the headwaters of the Nile and
tribes of natives no white men
had ever seen before. I’ve won
and lost a dozen fortunes, killed
many men, and loved only one
woman with a passion a flea like
you could never begin to
Understand. That’s who I am.

You get the sense that Haley is in the care of the sort of adventurers that perhaps filled pages at a penny a word in the days of such pulp heroes. Here they are, after the villains all cowered and bruises ceased healing. Here they are with spirit and fire and character that you could only hope to come across meeting in your life… if you were so lucky. Hub and Garth are the type of men that don’t brag to riff raff, they set the record straight… put things in perspective, and wish to make men out of worms and punks… and they ain’t afraid of anything.

When I was a boy, there was a fella that was one of my father’s best friends, his son is one of my best friends now. Unfortunately, this man passed on way too early in life. Way too early. But these characters reminded me of him. He believed in this phrase he passed on to me. “LIVE GOOD” It was a mighty phrase. I climbed pyramids in far off jungles with this man, went to the race track with him, went to a clothing optional apartment complex with him and learned that life was something you got one shot at. He lived big, but though he is gone now, I will never forget him. He fought for justice as a lawyer, served sandwiches to the homeless, befriended bandits in Mexico and loved many beautiful women. And his son is one helluva good man. SECONDHAND LIONS is a film dedicated to folks that pass on eccentricities and a passion for life.

The film is going to open against UNDERWORLD, which is supposed to be a good film as well… DON’T OVERLOOK THIS MOVIE! Robert Duvall’s HUB is a character fully on par with Spencer Tracy’s MANNY from CAPTAIN’S COURAGEOUS. If you’ve never seen that film, then by God, get you away from this computer and seek it out immediately. Like SECONDHAND LIONS… it is a film that it is not worth living without!

Now... If Warner Brothers had sense one... if they really are getting rid of Jon Peters & McG as I've heard - they'll hand SUPERMAN to Tim McCanlies and we'll get a film that is more than empty popcorn tubs, we'd get a film that captures the soul of last son of Krypton and a film that really gets what it is to be a hero. Tim's done it with IRON GIANT and SECONDHAND LIONS. But hell, Warners doesn't deserve him, even if the characters do.

Lynn Minmei
08-29-2003, 08:06 PM
Well, it could be good. But keep in mind this is JoBlo. People may not be thrilled seeing The words Harry and Knowles.

Jon Lyrik
08-29-2003, 09:04 PM
Harry Knowles is a huge tub of lying, egotistical lard. I wouldn't take his word for the life of me.

Lynn Minmei
08-29-2003, 09:08 PM
Originally posted by Jon Lyrik
Harry Knowles is a huge tub of lying, egotistical lard. I wouldn't take his word for the life of me.

Well, that's a polite way of putting it. ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

RickySlade
08-29-2003, 09:12 PM
Ricky Slade proclaims "HARRY KNOWLES is WORTH living without.

Lynn Minmei
08-29-2003, 09:16 PM
Originally posted by dh1989
Ain't It Cool News:

When I was a boy, there was a fella that was one of my father’s best friends, his son is one of my best friends now. Unfortunately, this man passed on way too early in life. Way too early. But these characters reminded me of him. He believed in this phrase he passed on to me. “LIVE GOOD” It was a mighty phrase. I climbed pyramids in far off jungles with this man, went to the race track with him, went to a clothing optional apartment complex with him and learned that life was something you got one shot at. He lived big, but though he is gone now, I will never forget him. He fought for justice as a lawyer, served sandwiches to the homeless, befriended bandits in Mexico and loved many beautiful women. And his son is one helluva good man. SECONDHAND LIONS is a film dedicated to folks that pass on eccentricities and a passion for life.

What?! I don't understand this at all! Knowles climbed pyramids? What metaphors is he trying to use?

Squid Vicious
08-29-2003, 09:18 PM
Well, since we all know that Harry Knowles is a fourth-rate JoBlo, why do we give a shit what he says?

RickySlade
08-29-2003, 09:20 PM
Originally posted by Squid Vicious
Well, since we all know that Harry Knowles is a fourth-rate JoBlo, why do we give a shit what he says?

Fourth-rate, maybe fourty four, at the least.

Squid Vicious
08-29-2003, 09:22 PM
Originally posted by RickySlade
Fourth-rate, maybe fourty four, at the least.

Yeah, I was kind of generous, wasn't I? ;)

Horror whore
08-29-2003, 10:00 PM
Originally posted by RickySlade
Ricky Slade proclaims "HARRY KNOWLES is WORTH living without.

DAMMIT! I was going to reply saying something similar! You just had to beat me? ;)

Just for shits and giggles:

Horror whore proclaims "HARRY KNOWLES is a fat piece of shit!"

SL looks extremely awful.

Lynn Minmei
08-29-2003, 10:03 PM
SL looks like generic heartfelt fluff that will flop.

RickySlade
08-29-2003, 10:07 PM
Originally posted by Horror whore
DAMMIT! I was going to reply saying something similar! You just had to beat me? ;)

Just for shits and giggles:

Horror whore proclaims "HARRY KNOWLES is a fat piece of shit!"

SL looks extremely awful.

Ah, that's O.K. There's more then one way to insult Harry. ;)

As for Secondhand Lions, it looks like sheer fluff. Good be a "cute" film, btu Haley Joel Osment just looks freightnening now.

Lynn Minmei
08-29-2003, 10:14 PM
Yeah, Haley Joel Osment eating chicken in this movie scares me more than Jason, Freddy, the Creeper, or any horror villians this year.

someguy
08-29-2003, 10:19 PM
Harry Knowles is bribed like crazy. Don't trust his word for it.

RickySlade
08-29-2003, 10:23 PM
Originally posted by someguy
Harry Knowles is bribed like crazy. Don't trust his word for it.

I could just see Haley Joel slipping Harry some money.

someguy
08-29-2003, 10:27 PM
Harry would mistake him for a Kit Kat and eat him probably. It disgusts me how he does it. He calls them his "pwesents."

Nate6
08-29-2003, 11:03 PM
Harry Knowles is a dickface and the movie looks even MORE like shit now.

Haley should quit acting 'til he gets through puberty. Squeak-o-rama.

dh1989
08-30-2003, 12:59 AM
Fuck, I was in a rush to leave, and forgot to put my own thoughts down!

I am really looking forward to this film, and I hope this review is honest. Harry is one sneaky fellow. I am never sure if he TRULY loved a movie or if he's just loving it because the studio greased his palms and red beard. Oh wait, his buddy directed it. So it's probably untruthful, but since I can't wait for this film, I hope it is true.

Oh, and enjoy making Knowles jokes! ;)

Strider
08-30-2003, 08:01 AM
Harry Knowles can not and should not be trusted by anyone. End of story, period.

Fisting Ackbar
08-30-2003, 08:31 AM
Originally posted by dh1989
SECONDHAND LIONS is the best film that a friend of mine has made. I’ve known director/writer Tim McCanlies for a good while now. He’s attended 3 out of 4 Butt-Numb-A-Thons, never with a film, always as a fan of it. He wrote perhaps the best film this site has ever championed… THE IRON GIANT. He’s just directed one of the best films I’ve had a privilege to write about.


Harry Knowles is bribed like crazy. Don't trust his word for it.

These two quotes go together.

JoBlo
08-30-2003, 01:29 PM
Originally posted by dh1989
[i]SECONDHAND LIONS is the best film that a friend of mine has made.

This is my favorite line from his entire so-called "objective" review. Jeezus....hilarious... ;)

someguy
08-30-2003, 01:38 PM
That's what I mean. I think one of the only times he didn't get sucked in was for Rollerball but that would be hard to give it a positive review. Plus no one would believe him.

I hear that he actually gets around in a wheelchair now. Is he paralyzed or just too overweight or something?

Lynn Minmei
08-30-2003, 01:41 PM
Originally posted by JoBlo
This is my favorite line from his entire so-called "objective" review. Jeezus....hilarious... ;)

:eek: Wow, JoBlo is not afraid to join the name-calling game either. This is hilarious! :D

someguy
08-30-2003, 01:44 PM
Jo has stated his opinion a couple of times on Knowles.

Freeway
08-30-2003, 01:44 PM
Originally posted by JoBlo
This is my favorite line from his entire so-called "objective" review. Jeezus....hilarious... ;)

Hillarious indeed. His site is a complete mess of epic proportions while JoBlo's site is the easily the best movie site on the web, with darkhorizons.com coming in second.

someguy
08-30-2003, 01:45 PM
Originally posted by Freeway
Hillarious indeed. His site is a complete mess of epic proportions while JoBlo's site is the easily the best movie site on the web, with darkhorizons.com coming in second.

ass kisser. ;)

Freeway
08-30-2003, 01:53 PM
Originally posted by someguy
ass kisser. ;)

I'm just stating a fact is all.;)

Jon Lyrik
08-30-2003, 03:26 PM
Originally posted by someguy
I hear that he actually gets around in a wheelchair now. Is he paralyzed or just too overweight or something?

You're kidding, right?

Knowles is a big hairy orange pile of body fat. Just look at this guy:

http://www.convergence-con.org/images/guest_harry_knowles.jpg

I heard he smells like shit too.

And this is something from his website that I hope happens to him:

http://www.aintitcool.com/media/harry.gif

Lynn Minmei
08-30-2003, 05:10 PM
Originally posted by Jon Lyrik
You're kidding, right?

Knowles is a big hairy orange pile of body fat. Just look at this guy:

http://www.convergence-con.org/images/guest_harry_knowles.jpg


Please...no...make it stop...

Jon Lyrik
08-31-2003, 12:52 PM
This guy would mistaken someone for a hamburger. That would be ok if he had any integrity, or could write.

Benny
08-31-2003, 01:32 PM
Originally posted by RickySlade
Ricky Slade proclaims "HARRY KNOWLES is WORTH living without.

Dammit Ricky, you beat me to it as well! Anyways, I saw this movie's trailer before Pirates of the Caribbean and it looks awful! Harry "Beyonce" Knowles is a dumbass. His Ain't it Cool site sucks too. Glad to see the other schmoes bringing him down too!

bankholdup
08-31-2003, 04:06 PM
JoBlo should add another rule: Absolutely NO pictures of Harry Knowles.

JoBlo
08-31-2003, 05:43 PM
Originally posted by Lynn Minmei
:eek: Wow, JoBlo is not afraid to join the name-calling game either. This is hilarious! :D

Yikes. That certainly wasn't my intention.

I actually respect Harry for having created his site and for making himself so well-known (wrote an article up about him a few years ago: right here (http://www.joblo.com/sandiegocon2000/con6.htm)), and to a certain extent...putting movie sites on the map. On the other hand, the multitude of borderline stunts that have been conducted through his site over the past few years (read a major article about them right here (http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/feature.php?feature=724)-- although I don't like the way the writer of this article keeps taking cheap potshots at the man's weight...very childish and unprofessional) have led to MOST movie sites (us included) being labeled as "non serious" and unreliable, which sucks.

I was merely pointing out that line because I've noticed that the site has been doing more and more news items on their "friends" projects, and at what point is the fine line drawn between actual journalism and non-objective promotion.

I actually don't know the answer and am not even sure what their opinion is in the matter, but I would personally STATE a MAJOR DISCLAIMER were I to review a "friend's" movie like "THIS MOVIE WAS MADE BY A FRIEND OF MINE, SO PLEASE TAKE WHAT I SAY WITH A GRAIN OF SALT, DESPITE TRYING TO BE AS OBJECTIVE AS I CAN ON THIS TOPIC".

Or better yet, I would just avoid reviewing films of my "friends" in the first place. Doesn't seem sincere. Then again, I guess I don't have as many friends in the business as they do.... ;)

Which is a good thing, I guess...

If you read my "review" of ARARAT (http://www.joblo.com/ararat.htm), you'd have noted how strongly I feel about not "pretending" that one can be objective at all times, ESPECIALLY when reviewing a work of a friend or a topic that touches you very personally.

I'm very professional when it comes to this business, but I don't pretend to be a "real critic" and will let people know when something is in a conflict of interest or possibly "tainted" in some way. I think you owe that to your readers.

Lynn Minmei
08-31-2003, 06:16 PM
Erm, sorry if I had the wrong idea Jo...I'm just honored that you quoted me in a post. I'll never wash my keyboard again!

flowrchild
09-05-2003, 02:29 AM
Originally posted by Jon Lyrik
http://www.convergence-con.org/images/guest_harry_knowles.jpg

That is one hell of a sexy man beast right there. Be still my heart.

Sarcasm aside, this movie looks like a big stinking turd. Everyone in the theater laughed when the trailer came on, which I suspect was not the intention. And Haley Joel Osment is growing into one freaky young lad.

Lynn Minmei
09-05-2003, 05:19 PM
Originally posted by flowrchild
That is one hell of a sexy man beast right there. Be still my heart.

Sarcasm aside, this movie looks like a big stinking turd. Everyone in the theater laughed when the trailer came on, which I suspect was not the intention. And Haley Joel Osment is growing into one freaky young lad.

Wow, I suspected this topic was dead. Well, anyways, I guess that when people laugh ta something like that, there might be a problem. I'm not looking foward to this at all.