Censored movies!!! GAAAHHHH!!!!

[Fulci_Fan]

Blockbuster Video, TBS, Any basic cable network.


What do these have in common?

Butchering the shit out of movies. In the words of Dennis Miller, I don't want to go on a rant here but...

Why butcher movies at a video store? Isn't the soul reason video stores exist is for people who don't have cable and want to see there favorite movie the way the film-maker intended it to be seen... Not watch a movie that was unrated and find it the (New Cut) with actual words bleeped out! WHAT THE #$*#! (Irony hee hee) And see gratuatious nudity blurred out!? WHAAAA? Sorry last time I checked I spent almost 5 bucks to rent this movie and I am still watching editing schlock!? WTF?

And they even do this to movies that I consider modern day masterpieces (Requiem For A Dream, Irreversible, Happiness) it's so bad Requiem is edited. And as for Irreversibe and Happiness Blockbuster won't even carry them. WHY? It is allright to stock movies like Dead Alive, or Saving Private Ryan, movies chocked full of violence and bloodshed. But if there is one penis or close up of anything obscene "FUCK THAT!!! WE HAVE TO KEEP A FAMILY IMAGE!!! WE WON'T CARRY THAT MASTERPIECE AT ALL! BRING ON THE VIN DIESAL MOVIES!!!!!!"

And on the subject of violence, how come when I am watching 80's movies they keep the same words that were considered obscene then blipped out even now? You'd think some censor would get off there lazy ass and make a updated version... I'm sorry but when I'm watching "The Goonies" on TBS with my kid nephew and I expect to hear a classic line like "Sounds like my old man taking a leak" I am subjected to "Sounds like someone's shower's leaking." Whhaaa? Since when was "Taking a leak" considered a bad word?

And I was watching "Out of Sight" on like USA or something lame like that.. And they cut out every curse word... Which doesn't surprise me... Yet they leave in a scene where a man get's shot in the head and the back of his head blows out and brains come out... WTF!? Has this country become so used to violence that now it's ok on TV but if you say "Shit" that is a different story... Uck... How horrible.

I was watching VH1 and they were showing clips from South Park (on some south park special on VH1 odd I know) there was a scene from the movie where Cartman says "How would you like to suck my balls." and the censored version was this... I kid you not "How would like to *beep* my balls." whaa? How does that work?

Stick a fork in me... I'm spent..

[rilocay]

That is too stupid. Swear words are just how you tke them, they shouldnt be bleeped out in movies when they are spodes to be uncut, but also should be said out in public every second (loudly gfor that matter). But c'mon nudity? thats natural, and good for the yes too (scintists have proven that) so why blurr it out? ANd watching bowling for colombine and other things, i have too noticed how violent America is comaperd to countries like Australia (where i am). I don't know why that it but thats probably why violence is kept in movies. T & A never hurt anyone, blood and guts can make weak minded ppl go out on a spree. And then that goes back to balmeing games and movies for violence. The people that comit these crimes have no-one to blame but them FUCKING selves.

Just have censored things, and un censored things, not just one version and not the other. that should help keep everyone happy.

[Razorblade Smile]

Ironically, Blockbuster Video carries South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. The very essence of satire against censorship.

Let's not confuse issues though. These so-called "family owned" video chains are only concerned about public well being so long as it doesn't affect their profit percentage.

Want proof? How many times have we heard some slapnut blaming the Matrix because a school got shot up? (Yes, we are all intelligent enough to know that neither Keanu Reeves nor Marilyn Manson had anything to do with that). But regardless, I doubt a single video chain in America scaled down their orders of the Matrix: Reloaded in the hopes of surpressing angry teen murder sprees.

[Grim H.]

Here's an interesting one. If you're ever watching stand-up on Comedy Central, and a comedian says "asshole," They'll let them say ass, but they'll bleep out the "hole." So all you hear is "Ass*beep*"

Let me get this straight, you can say "ass" and you can say "hole," but mix em' together and that's a no-no...WTF?!

[Sugar Magnolia]

Originally posted by Grim H.
Here's an interesting one. If you're ever watching stand-up on Comedy Central, and a comedian says "asshole," They'll let them say ass, but they'll bleep out the "hole." So all you hear is "Ass*beep*"

Let me get this straight, you can say "ass" and you can say "hole," but mix em' together and that's a no-no...WTF?!

Uranus...

Oh but I kid...

In all seriousness, I will destroy you and everyone you have ever known with my army of homeless slaves...

Oh but I kid...

I mean it, you're a dead man...

Oh but I kid...

Now then for real, the rivers will run red with the blood of those killed by my bums...

Oh but I kid...

Seriously though, the bleeping of 'hole' in 'asshole' is indeed, as the French would say, "I surrender". Meaning, I find it so damned ridiculous that I want to unleash my hobos, or perhaps just remain irritated by it. Or perhaps unleash my hobos....perhaps...In other words, I agree. The word 'asshole' has no less of a vulgar meaning than 'ass' itself. And since when is 'hole' discriminated against? Magic, I tells ya, magic. Magic Jebus...

[The Lolo]

Originally posted by Grim H.
Here's an interesting one. If you're ever watching stand-up on Comedy Central, and a comedian says "asshole," They'll let them say ass, but they'll bleep out the "hole." So all you hear is "Ass*beep*"

Let me get this straight, you can say "ass" and you can say "hole," but mix em' together and that's a no-no...WTF?!

It's the same thing with goddamnit. They bleep out the God but leave in the damnit.

[BorderEevilIII]

When programming of movies on TV in the US will equal to current programming abroad from what I hear, It will be a LONG time. I am waiting for that first movie to break ground on regular tv to let loose with the fuck, shit, & asshole! :D I laugh when know what was said is subsituted w/ another dorky word. Nudity is gradually showin up now & then here in the US but still ya can briefly show it but not a naked butt thrustung or gyrating exposed or under the covers.

[Jon Lyrik]

The USA presentation of Casino is GOLD.

I can only imagine what they did to Scarface.

[Ares2907]

Japanese porno. That mosaic censorship really sucks.
:p

[Lynn Minmei]

This rant gives me a scar worse than the one I already have from licking pineapple.

[Grebdron]

Originally posted by rilocay
T & A never hurt anyone, blood and guts can make weak minded ppl go out on a spree. And then that goes back to balmeing games and movies for violence. The people that comit these crimes have no-one to blame but them FUCKING selves.

I'm confrused.

"T & A never hurt anyone, blood and guts can make weak minded ppl go out on a spree."

???

If blood and guts can make weak minded people go out on a spree...

Ahhh, fuck it.

I don't get it.

[TheJadedGamer]

Yes, censored movies REALLY piss me off. Nothing is bad like getting ready for a good night's worth of whacking when you find out that the porn you planned on watching has no nudity!

Wait, that's never happened....

[Briare Rabbit]

Blockbuster.... censored.... movies.... won't stock... what? The movies you've listed, my blockbuster has ten copies of. Except Requeim, they only have 2 VHS copies and 3 DVD copies. Im guessing they sold the rest.

[blurofserenity]

What is with superstation showing these viciously violent and vulgar movies? They show stuff like Die Hard and then just censor them to hell. Why even bother?

[HeavyK]

Originally posted by blurofserenity
What is with superstation showing these viciously violent and vulgar movies? They show stuff like Die Hard and then just censor them to hell. Why even bother?

That's exactly what i think. If those movies were meant to be brutually violent and overtly sexual then what's the use of showing them on T.V in a censored to shit form. It just ruins the whole fuckin' film.

[The TZA]

I love watching TV-edits of movies, it's great. I remember a classic was RoboCop which they butchered so much that the storyline didn't make any sense at all, and this was at 11pm! Remember the scene where Dick Jones pulls Bob Morton's hair in the bathroom and says, "Once I even called him asshole"? Well that was beautifully chopped so he said, "Once I even called him a- airhead". Yep, it was so smooth you even heard the start of "asshole".

But on DVDs that's a son of a bitch. The original Predator cut in England actually had "Stick around" cut out among other scenes. Fuckers. I would give every censorship guru the finger but they'd just blur it out and blame me for the next school shooting.

[blurofserenity]

No kidding HeavyK.Sometimes Superstation even takes out entire fucking scenes!Remember that great scene in Trains,Plains and Automobiles, where Steve Martin just curses up a storm at the car rental place? They just took the whole scene out. I figure,if you have a strict censoring policy, then show movies that you dont' have to butcher!Seems like common sense to me.The funniest is Cliffhanger.They show it every other day and every other word in that movie is fuck.So you get some very creative language.Then they give us 14 hours of commercials. What a peice of shit station.

[Twisted]

I totally agree. Why even show the movie on cable if it's just going to be butchered because of violence, nudity, or profanity? It just ruins it. This really bugs me when a station is playing a horror movie; particularly a R rated one. They already know that when a movie is rated R, it has lots of gore and graphic violence, nudity, and a shit-load of profanity, so it's not meant for children to watch; which of course doesn't stop us teens and adults from watching it!:D But, then they turn around and almost make it ok for kids by editing every scene for gore and naked content, and censoring every other piece of dialouge. So, in the words of Gilbert Gottfried from I Love The 80's Strikes Back: "What the Fuck?!":mad:

[blurofserenity]

Twisted you just hit the nail on the head on every level.

[HannibalGuy]

Reservoir Dogs was on A&E the other night. During the scene when the cop Marvin and Mr. Orange are in the warehouse alone, after Mr. Orange shoots Mr. Blond. In the real verson, Marvin says:

"That sick fuck!"

In the TV verson, he says:

"That freak!"

Now, arfer that in the real verson, Mr. Orange says:

"Fuck you! I'm fucking dying here!"

In the TV verson he says:

"Front you! I'am dring here!

[blurofserenity]

I caught Reservoir Dogs on A&E too. At first I thought it wasn't edited,because unlike superstation they leave some of the swear words in,like shit.And they showed the aftermath of the ear scene. But when I saw the cop call him a "Sick freak" it clued me in very fast. Why show a movie like Reservoir Dogs if you're not going to show it in it's proper format? Fucking morons.

[ERIN_LoJ]

I agree with everything said so far. At least HBO and the movie channels aren't into censoring and cutting down time of the film for commericals (to my knowledge at any rate). I mainly avoid movies on TV, keep it around for the shows, and just the buy the damn things on VHS or DVD for when I want to watch them, the way they were meant to be.

[HeavyK]

I'll give Superstation credit for one thing though. They rarely ever censor the violence and gore in films. For instance when they showed Blade, i caught the tail end of it and i only noticed only one major violence edit, the scene were the vampire chicks head explodes from the garlic/silver mace. The entire fight between Blade and Frost was totally uncut including the gory explosion at the end of it.

[Jon Lyrik]

Originally posted by HeavyK
I'll give Superstation credit for one thing though. They rarely ever censor the violence and gore in films. For instance when they showed Blade, i caught the tail end of it and i only noticed only one major violence edit, the scene were the vampire chicks head explodes from the garlic/silver mace. The entire fight between Blade and Frost was totally uncut including the gory explosion at the end of it.

Yeah, I know. It is perfectly ok to show violence, but strong language and sex and titties are evil, EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[syxxpac]

More violence. More titties.

More, more, more I say.

[Jon Lyrik]

Originally posted by syxxpac
More violence. More titties.

More, more, more I say.

Foul heathen!

YE BURN IN HELL!

[VicVega]

Yeah, this tweeks my knob. If theres a movie (especially R rated) thats on cable and I've seen the complete film before (whether on dvd or in theaters), I'll watch it. However, if I'm about to watch it for the first time on cable, I wont even bother. Sometimes my father says, "What movies are on tv tonight?". I'll tell him "who cares, they cut everything out anyways." And this is when I get the famous line uttered by many of my family members, "Oh excuse me, Mr. Movie Buff, I forgot if it doesn't have all the blood and guts you can't watch it." :rolleyes:

[my_name_is_neo]

Originally posted by Jon Lyrik
Yeah, I know. It is perfectly ok to show violence, but strong language and sex and titties are evil, EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reminds me of South Park: BLU;

"Just remember the MPAA's motto: Horrific, deplorable violence is okay, as long as they don't say any naughty words!"

That seems to actually be pretty accurate, a fact that annoys me to no end. I mean, is there really anyone out there anymore who doesn't know what those words mean?

(shoots head of MPAA) Fu- oh, I'm sorry, shove the MPAA!

(this post has been rated PG-13 because of the absence of the apparently worse-than-violence "F"-word):p

[The Rain Dog]

Censorship is evil and Blockbuster is a tool of the devil IMO.

Ironic, considering it's run by born-againers.

RD

[HeavyK]

Originally posted by The Rain Dog
Censorship is evil and Blockbuster is a tool of the devil IMO.

Ironic, considering it's run by born-againers.

RD

Actually, it's a myth the Blockbuster is run by Born-Again Christians. If it was, it wouldn't carry anything above a PG rating.

[Jim H]

They stopped allowing asshole on comedy central? They said it like 90 times in that one south park episode.

[Deathbox]

Originally posted by Razorblade Smile

Let's not confuse issues though. These so-called "family owned" video chains are only concerned about public well being so long as it doesn't affect their profit percentage.

its all about making a profit and in order to do that, these chains have to give in to the masses. Censorship has always been a hot topic, esp. in the entertainment industry. The religious right is to blame for the sanitization of movies.

[movieguy1021]

I only watch movies on TV when I've seen them before, mainly to see what they edit, like in the second Austin Powers, they don't censor anything except Dr. Evil's "Goddamn" to "goshdarn" and his "a-hole" completely taken out. That I don't understand-they allow 50 uses of "bastard" but "a-hole"-not asshole, a-hole, is not allowed?

[adamjohnson]

Originally posted by Jim H
They stopped allowing asshole on comedy central? They said it like 90 times in that one south park episode.

no, it was shit. And it was more like 300.

[Jim H]

Originally posted by adamjohnson
no, it was shit. And it was more like 300.

In any case, I've heard them say asshole on Southpark before, uncensored.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Originally posted by Jim H
In any case, I've heard them say asshole on Southpark before, uncensored.

Perhaps they can say it after a certain hour...

[Jim H]

Originally posted by Sugar Magnolia
Perhaps they can say it after a certain hour...

Dunno, as I HAVE heard them censor it and NOT censor it on different occasions.

Oh yeah, just FYI, the FCC doesn't monitor cable at all, since you have to pay to get it - it's not broadcast or anything. There are no restrictions on what you can and can't show on cable TV, just most networks self censor.