If I had known then... [Archive] - Movie Fan Central Discussion Forums

jackson13

11-04-2003, 09:08 AM

I've seen quite a few people come and go in my time here, so here's some wisdom from me.

#1. Your not King Bling. We're happy your new, and glad you've joined our site, but you must first make a name for yourself and earn our respect. Dont just come in and right away start criticizing the way things are done around here and what you can and cant say and whatnot. You read all of that in the rules when you joined.

#B: Respect us and we'll respect you back. That is the most important rule in this place. If you read the rules when you joined, you would know that. Dont come in, all brand new and go into a thread thats got something to do with something you dont like and say how much you hate it and the people who like it are retarded. The biggest example of this would be the 'WWE Thread'. We wrestling fans use it to discuss and vent thoughts about wrestling and we really hate it when someone comes in and says 'wrestling is fake, everyone who likes it must be an inbred redneck who humps his sister". We are finally past that stage in that thread, but its a good example of 'what not to do'.

Thats all for now. I'll think of some more later.

For joblo.com, this has been Jackson13 reporting. :D

Grebdron

11-04-2003, 11:18 AM

1. Be funny.

2. Avoid quoth_the_raven.

3. Respect Grebdron.

MarkItZero

11-04-2003, 11:19 AM

Worship me.

jackson13

11-04-2003, 11:37 AM

Originally posted by Grebdron
3. Respect Grebdron.

Speaking of Grebdron, beware of him. He can make a thread go off topic quicker than Christina Augilera can go down on her back up dancers.

;)

Romero&Juliet

11-04-2003, 11:44 AM

1. Dont listen/talk to ANYONE about movies who isin't a schmoe....and, if you do, be sure to make reference to Countchocula's reviews and make them feel like an idiot.

2. If you have to decide between going to school and staying home to post up a storm, pick the latter.

-If you have to decide between going out to get drunk and staying home to post up a storm, pick the latter.

3. Respect Grebdron.

4. dont pick stupid names..! You'll regret it...!!!!

Grebdron

11-04-2003, 11:56 AM

Originally posted by jackson13
Speaking of Grebdron, beware of him. He can make a thread go off topic quicker than Christina Augilera can go down on her back up dancers.

;)

Over 7000 times.

I like cheese.

7001.

quoth_the_raven

11-04-2003, 12:01 PM

1) love and respect quoth_the_raven. build altars to him.

2) remember greb is old enough to be your great-grandfather.and is a horny old perv,. avoid him like a scorpion infested jockstrap.

3) kick grebdron in the nuts. daily.

4) Just be cool with us and we will be cool with you

5) dont say you dislike donnie darko.you will just be told that you dont get it ;) (kidding)

6) repeat rule 3

7) rule number 4 is the most important. or rule 8. which we havent got to yet.

8) dont be afraid to ask even the most stupid of questions. there is no malice in us, and i am sure you will get a lot of quick and helpful response.

9) thou shalt not kill

10) enjoy it.

James Logan

11-04-2003, 02:49 PM

Seriously?

Just relax and have fun. And everything'll be fine.

Jon Lyrik

11-04-2003, 04:01 PM

Give me handjobs every night before Looney Tunes comes on for six hours a night. Blowjobs if you're a woman.

Lindsey

11-04-2003, 04:47 PM

Originally posted by Jon Lyrik
Give me handjobs every night before Looney Tunes comes on for six hours a night. Blowjobs if you're a woman.

....:D

James Logan

11-04-2003, 05:01 PM

Originally posted by Lindsey
....:D

Is that a yes or a no? Cause if it's a yes, then I'm changing my answer to Jon's. ;)

Jon Lyrik

11-04-2003, 05:08 PM

Originally posted by James Logan
Is that a yes or a no? Cause if it's a yes, then I'm changing my answer to Jon's. ;)

Oh yeah, and don't listen to the dirty French men.

Oh wait...never mind. Don't listen to James then.

Moviefan1234

11-04-2003, 05:23 PM

Originally posted by Adam J. Hakari
Make sure a schmoe is actually a guy before calling them "Mr." (sorry, moviefreak1980!).

;)

I have to second that one. It's downright embarassing.

JoBlo

11-04-2003, 05:41 PM

I actually thought this was a GREAT THREAD that might prove helpful to newbies. I would ask that everyone drop the jokes and respond, if only, they've got some constructive to pass on to the newer members.

Thanks.

James Logan

11-04-2003, 05:46 PM

Well, if there's any serious advice to give, except not listening to me...

Read the Rules well. Not only do they tell you what you gotta do to be loved here, but those FIGHT CLUB references -- that's the Schmoe Spirit right there. It's goofy, it's pure movie-buff shite, it's relaxed, but it's the rules. Read those, remember those.

And one piece of strategic advice...post smart, post well-written and correctly built sentences, don't act too cocky, and in a few days time every Schmoe in the house will consider you "one of us". That's all there is to it. Because if you come by, and even if you don't break a rule, but if your first 15 posts are "yO hOwz bowt GoIn s8tn?" and "that flicks sucket my-tea bawls", then be prepared to be ridiculed during your whole stay. Tough...but true.

BorderEevilIII

11-04-2003, 05:50 PM

1.Dont be fooled by schmoes user names
http://image.pathfinder.com/ew/features/001006/gayissue/img/pic_cryinggame.jpg

2.Re-arrange DVD display boxes at Blockbuster

3.Schmoes are not perfect
http://www.students.tut.fi/~hoek/rh/yoou6.jpg

4.stack dvd's randomly in a store and chant

5.And #'s 2 & 4 I am sooo kidding on those.....And use PM & IM if and when possible.....

Romero&Juliet

11-04-2003, 06:11 PM

Newbies are ABSOLUTELY welcome here.. and its almost wierd..

I've been on other boards before (nothing having to do with movies, of course) and I've noticed that newbies are treated like dirt..... that NEVER happens here and I think its wonderful.

bob

11-04-2003, 06:26 PM

Here's a big one: Remember that everything comes off as serious online, because there's no way to tell if it's a joke if there's no smiley. If you read something that even might (might!) be a joke, ask before exploding.

Sugar Magnolia

11-04-2003, 06:31 PM

Originally posted by bob
Here's a big one: Remember that everything comes off as serious online, because there's no way to tell if it's a joke if there's no smiley. If you read something that even might (might!) be a joke, ask before exploding.

Indeed, look at the responses to Lyrik's post in the Schindler's List thread in the DVD forum(Found here (http://www.joblo.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=64192) )...

Jon Lyrik

11-04-2003, 07:37 PM

Originally posted by Sugar Magnolia
Indeed, look at the responses to Lyrik's post in the Schindler's List thread in the DVD forum(Found here (http://www.joblo.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=64192) )...

I remember that one.

That pissed Grebdron off big time.

My sayings to the newbies from an ancienter:

(in Gandalf voice)

Listen to Joblo. He has awesome and terrible powers, so God help you if you anger him.

That's all they need to know really. Simple and basic.

Oh yes, and they also must follow my previous post. ;)

Lindsey

11-04-2003, 07:58 PM

Originally posted by bob
there's no way to tell if it's a joke if there's no smiley.

Good one, bob. I just want to say, that I ABSOLUTELY HATE this smiley: :rolleyes:, when a Schmoe is being sarcastic to another Schmoe. It just pisses me off to no end!

Jon Lyrik

11-04-2003, 08:02 PM

Originally posted by Lindsey
Good one, bob. I just want to say, that I ABSOLUTELY HATE this smiley: :rolleyes:, when a Schmoe is being sarcastic to another Schmoe. It just pisses me off to no end!

I love that smilie, but then again, I'm a very bitter bastard, so it encapsulates my feelings quite well.

Of course, my opinion doesn't matter nearly as much as a mods, so I should shut up.

jackson13

11-04-2003, 08:20 PM

Lynn Minmei

11-04-2003, 10:46 PM

Do not go off-topic in the celebrity forum by talking about politics instead of the topic at hand. Everytime someone does this, it's like them hammering my genitals into a pillbox.

Damned Martian

11-05-2003, 08:28 AM

1. Don't even bother to read threads with the word Polanski on it, especially if they're on the Celebrity Talk/Gossip Forum. They use to last about 2 days, once Grebdron enters there ;)

2. Be sure about the genre of the person you're talking to before using "he" or "she". Everyone has made a mistake with this sometime... *cough*

3. Don't make much jokes until you find what's people's sensible matters. That way you won't encourage anyone (some schmoes are just way too sensitive to jokes here...)

4. Try to write well. It's easier for us non natural english speakers.

5. Don't be annoyed by someone's taste in movies, even if they say you're favorite movie is bullshit. You just have to shit on their's or quote the man Jo: "To Each His/Her Own". And it shall be good. ;)

6. Choose a good nickname. You can't change it.

7. Choose an avatar that doesn't confuse people about your sex (see #2 ;) )

8. Read the rules and act like they say.

9. Use smilies but don't abuse of them.

10. http://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/smiley_abuv.gif

Indiana Sev

11-05-2003, 08:48 AM

It's not the end of the world if you happen to start a thread that has already existed but try, whenever possible, to do a quick search (the top of the screens - next to f.a.q. and/or bottom of the screen) to see if you can find a similar (or exact same) topic.

There are about a hundred Donnie Darko & Magnolia threads that have been started on General Movie Talk. :D

Annie Hall

11-05-2003, 09:10 AM

- Jump in and say your opinion. The point of posting is not to be diplomatic, it's to get your thoughts out there and provoke a cool discussion...don't worry about what other people'll think of you, as long as you stay within the rules of topic and respect.

- Your first post should NOT be "Hi, I'm new...and Jo said I had to post the first night". It's a joke, dude, lighten up ;)

- Try to write clearly. Funky capitilization in the wrong places, or words that are misspelled for convenience are not only hard to read, but there are many people here who have English as a second language, and it helps the overall international-friendly-ness of the boards.

- Listen to Jo. ALWAYS. He's the big cheese, the big kahuna, the dude in the chair...he wants things to go well, so don't try to piss him off.

- Don't be too quick to be offended...but ALWAYS make use of the appropriate smilies if there is any doubt wheter you are kidding.

- It's not about your post count, try to post things that will ultimately spark interesting ideas...etc. So, even if you can find 150 "your top 10 movies of all time" threads, don't make a new one just to see if they've changed.

- Use the "bump" wisely, but don't abuse it.

Damned Martian

11-05-2003, 01:47 PM

Originally posted by Annie Hall
- Your first post should NOT be "Hi, I'm new...and Jo said I had to post the first night". It's a joke, dude, lighten up ;)
Hum... really? I made that mistake too my first time... To post the same day of my logging... And I thought it was serious :o :D

Grebdron

11-05-2003, 01:50 PM

Originally posted by damned martian
Hum... really? I made that mistake too my first time... To post the same day of my logging... And I thought it was serious :o :D

You ARE supposed to post the first day. You just aren't supposed to announce your arrival.

Damned Martian

11-05-2003, 01:52 PM

Originally posted by Grebdron
You ARE supposed to post the first day. You just aren't supposed to announce your arrival. Really? And what does Jo do if you do it in your SECOND day? To ban you? ;)

countchocula

11-05-2003, 04:25 PM

Films aren't retarded, lame, or gay. Give reasons for liking/disliking a certain film.

Jon Lyrik

11-05-2003, 04:42 PM

Originally posted by countchocula
Films aren't retarded, lame, or gay. Give reasons for liking/disliking a certain film.

ur post is soooooooooooooooooooooo ghey laem n retarted d00d

Oh, and I agree.

'Nut

11-05-2003, 06:02 PM

Well... I have a problem...

I am a newbie. That is the first step to realizing it guys. I wasn't always this way... I used to have 2,000+ posts... and then my acct. died.

Words of advice: Take care of your account, don't let it choke... just show respect, and be friendly.

Jon Lyrik

11-05-2003, 06:40 PM

Originally posted by 'Nut
Well... I have a problem...

I am a newbie. That is the first step to realizing it guys. I wasn't always this way... I used to have 2,000+ posts... and then my acct. died.

Words of advice: Take care of your account, don't let it choke... just show respect, and be friendly.

Penut, right?

Check with JoBlo about your account difficulties. I wouldn't leave a 2,000+ postage account out to dry.

someguy

11-05-2003, 08:06 PM

The 10 joke commandments:

1)If any of these following words come up run for your life: Roman Polanski,Christopher Walken,Pie,any British slang(eg wanker,jest,etc.),Grebdron,Star Wars sucks,LOTR sucks,Matrix sucks,Harry Potter sucks,SEXY and FULL OF SURPRISES,ORGY TIME,Gandhi will bitch slap you,Memento sucks,Tarantino sucks and Gigli.

2)Make sure you can chat on AIM,Yahoo,ICQ or the JoBlo chat. Cause rule #1 don't apply on those babies(everyone trashes other schmoes).

3)If you spam we will murder you(no we won't...or will we?).

4)Follow the crowds,like the movies they like,basically kiss your ass off. Keep that up and you'll have tons of friends iin no time.

5)James Logan is putting up a big act. He is a phony. Leave him be(I actually think he is a charming robot sometimes).

6)Lindsey welcomes all boob compliments(also avatar compliments).

7)Do not go to the bad side of town.

8) Any schmoe who thinks they're the greatest of the greatest schmoes is a liar. We all know I am.

9)If there are more than 2 smileys in a post ignore it.

10)If you can tell that someguy has run out of ideas for commandments at around #4 or 5 you are correct. Wait a minute this isn't even a commandment. It's just a statement. I'm stupid too ya see.

Real 10 tips for the boards:

1)Post post post. If you want to be known on these boards and get along with people here you have to post or else no one will notice you. Although have your posts make sense sometimes and at least 3 paragraphs long. You will not be respected much if you mainly have one or two line posts.

2)This is no popularity contest. The more you are here you will notice how some schmoes are very well liked here. I say that this isn't a popularity contest yet there are popular schmoes here. All I say is don't care about it. Be you and you will be having a great time here very quickly. Just ignore it(and for those who disagree with me check out the memorable quotes thread or the casting a movie or TV show with schmoes thread-see how many times some of the more well known schmoes are listed).

3)Don't post new threads right away. Reply in threads first. You are new here and don't know much about the boards and things usually. The newer schmoes usually get their first topics on the board closed because other ones exist,etc. so just reply in threads for a bit until you get the hang of everything and start up a new thread.

4)Maturity. MA-TUR-I-TY. If you want to be taken seriously here be mature. Simple as that.

5)Listen to the rules.

6)You will not like everybody on these boards. I know that for a fact. Almost every schmoe here has a schmoe they do not like. The best way is to not pay attention much to the schmoe so you don't end up bad mouthing them to others and making this like a schoolyard.

7)Take it all with a grain of salt. Remember you do not know these people at all really so take it with a grain of salt.

8)Don't be afraid to ask anything. We will not make fun of you or anything when you ask. You will most liely be answered.

9)We welcome you with open arms. We will not however if you come on and start acting stupid.

10)Have fun.

Lynn Minmei

11-05-2003, 10:58 PM

Don't listen to Someguy, Walken and Pie conversations are somethin gyou should stay to watch. Like a moth to a flame. A deer to headlights.

SkyNet

11-05-2003, 11:01 PM

ummm.... respect everyone's opinions. Dont think that only your opinion counts. And remember some of us DID enjoy Freddy Got Fingered.

The hand jobs was a good idea also... not sure how that'd work on a computer forum, but if u figure it out put me down for 2.

TheDeadWalk

11-06-2003, 02:08 AM

1.) If a thread asks a specific question, don't reply with "Um.. I dunno." Just don't reply.

2.) I visit threads to see talk about movies that I don't particularly have high hopes for, and make posts here and there being sarcastic, or to attempt to draw out a debate or an interesting conversation with someone who perhaps sees things differently than myself. However, I don't find all 1,001 threads on "Movie X" just to make sure that all visiting schmoes on the forum know that I won't be seeing the film.

3.) If you have to make three straight "Bump!" replies in a row just to keep your topic going, please don't. If it doesn't go after one or two, just let it drown. No one has anything more to add to it.

4.) The typing in all caps, and all lowercase letters can be irking.

5.) I despise chatroom lingo such as "u", "ur", "r", "wut", etc. It's not as if you're being asked to type "Califragilistic-espialadocious" here. Just type the four or five letter (at best) word. Give your "U" key a rest.

6.) No matter what anyone tells you, Michael Myers is the more superb slasher. :D :cool: :eek: :) :o :p ;) (Happy, Pappy?)

7.) Death to any who create a non-constructive post that says "Not another thread X thread."

moviemuffin

11-06-2003, 03:59 AM

Embrace the USER CP experience.

If you think somebody was trying to insult you and are about ready to type out a seriously scathing reply, don't. Ignore it, go back and read it later, and say something respectful, if contrary. "Perhaps I misunderstood but I felt you were incorrect" never got anyone banned. "Bite my nuts, you spam sucking trailer monkey" may be a tad harsh, no matter how tempting.

When you find yourself repeating the same points in a thread that's getting long, let it go. The people who can get it already have and the idiots still ignoring your valid points never will.

Remember that sarcasm doesn't always read the way you hear it in your own head. (We're all guilty of this one.)

If you find yourself becoming genuinely emotionally upset over a thread, get the hell off the forum for a week. Seriously. (And people can pretend this never happens, but it does... a lot.)

Don't get hung up on being right. Ignore people who do.

Have fun. :D

Jon Lyrik

11-06-2003, 04:56 PM

Originally posted by someguy
Gandhi will bitch slap you

Whoa whoa whoa, you're supposed to listen to these Sugar Magnolia/Jon Lyrik-invented jokes.

Don't drink and post, kids. I've seen it happen before, and it's disasterous.

Sugar Magnolia

11-06-2003, 05:00 PM

Originally posted by someguy
4)Maturity. MA-TUR-I-TY. If you want to be taken seriously here be mature. Simple as that.

Damn...

someguy

11-06-2003, 05:22 PM

Originally posted by Sugar Magnolia
Damn...

Don't worry Sugar. You have somehow bent the lines of mature reality and made yourself an exception to the rule. A very rare feat to do.

Grebdron

11-06-2003, 05:29 PM

Originally posted by someguy
Don't worry Sugar. You have somehow bent the lines of mature reality and made yourself an exception to the rule. A very rare feat to do.

Hey someguy, don't think I missed your last post.

I'll get you my little pretty, and your little dog Frodo, too.

On topic...

Just say what you think, new guys and gals.

someguy

11-06-2003, 05:31 PM

Originally posted by Grebdron
Hey someguy, don't think I missed your last post.

I'll get you my little pretty, and your little dog Frodo, too.

On topic...

Just say what you think, new guys and gals.

I saw your message in the sky. You and your bizarre man-monkey bird thingies will never catch me. Never!

Sugar Magnolia

11-06-2003, 05:46 PM

Some things you should know about the boards, mmmkay...

Yes, the name Sugar does refer to how sweet I am, for a price...

No one knows what Grebdron's ever talking about, so don't feel like we can understand his bizarre language and you can't, 'cause we can't either. Old people talk funny...

Jerk Shapiro is actually not Jim Morrison, but an incredible simulation...

Despite what you may have heard, yo mama jokes are still funny...

Sometimes factions are formed and casusualties are suffered(as seen here (http://www.joblo.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=56451&perpage=40&pagenumber=1) )...

It appears to me that it's a common misconception to many newer schmoes that we can't curse around here. I see a lot of 'F*cks' and 'sh*ts'. We can curse as much as we want, dammit. If you want to bleep out your naughty words, go right ahead, but you don't have to...

The Lolo

11-06-2003, 06:25 PM

Jon Lyrik

11-06-2003, 06:41 PM

Originally posted by Sugar Magnolia
It appears to me that it's a common misconception to many newer schmoes that we can't curse around here. I see a lot of 'F*cks' and 'sh*ts'. We can curse as much as we want, dammit. If you want to bleep out your naughty words, go right ahead, but you don't have to...

I'm tellin' you, you can swear all the fuck you want around this fucking place, fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. But put some fuckin' beauty behind your fuckin' swearin', boys and girls. Makes your fuckin' swear-infested posts more fuckin' eloquent in a fuckin' Samuel L. "Fuck fuck fuck!" Jackson way!

Fuck bleeping out fucks and shits! Say fuck all you want! Fuck!

Sugar Magnolia

11-06-2003, 06:48 PM

You're damn right fellas. Mmmmm, taste the smell of freedom. Sounds good, doesn't it?

*gives Lyrik and Lolo some freedom fries*

jackson13

11-06-2003, 08:50 PM

Ok, a new one, and this applies to EVERYONE.

When you go into a topic, READ THE FUCKING PREVIOUS POSTS!

I've lost count lately of how many topics I've gone into, and seen someone say something, and then scroll down and 2 or 3 posts later, someone else says the same thing.

Most recent example of this is in the new thread for trilogies in the general forum, I mentioned The Terminator trilogy and then like 6 posts later someone said "Terminator Trilogy".

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sugar Magnolia

11-06-2003, 08:52 PM

Originally posted by jackson13
Most recent example of this is in the new thread for trilogies in the general forum, I mentioned The Terminator trilogy and then like 6 posts later someone said "Terminator Trilogy".

You're just jealous 'cause he thought of it first...

APzombie

11-07-2003, 12:25 AM

The biggest one I can think of is to make everything you say movie related...... or else we wouldn't understand what you are talking about. ;)

Indiana Sev

11-07-2003, 07:28 AM

Do NOT bump old threads that a FORMER SCHMOE has started that resulted in controversy. There is a reason that former schmoe got banned and there is absolutely NO REASON to bring it up simply for the pleasure of everyone to see.

In the past few weeks alone (and just yesterday) I've noticed schmoes doing this. All it will do is anger moderators/administrator and cast a shadow of suspicion on the person who bumped it. The suspicion being that they are in fact a former schmoe who has come back and re-joined the board.

Don't do it. There is no purpose to it!

Reigh Kaufman

11-07-2003, 09:27 AM

These are things I don't like that some Schmoes do, some general and some personal things that will help you.

1) I can't abide it when people question Jo over matters of policy AFTER they have joined. I have to abide by the rules, my gran would have to abide by the rules, and so do you. If it bothers you so much, under no circumstances should you START a thread for public edification and approval. We all know the rules and don't take kindly to you agitating for change by exposing your grievance. PM Jo and state your case...if he says the wallpaper in this house is shit-brown it will remain SHIT-BROWN.

2) There are thousands of us. Statistically it is practically impossible not to say anything negative about race, creed, sexual-orientation (etc) without offending someone. Like a real community, that shit will not fly...so knock it off with any moronic comments about how this or that is (insert combination of any inappropriate slurs as applicable). I fail to see how saying something is 'gay' is anything but an implied insult. Knock it the fuck off.

3) You have an 'ignore' facility if someone really gets on your left tit. Use it.

4) Cliques are fine. Having ten friends is good. As I have since found out, having a thousand is more satisfying. Try all the forums, try participating in lots of threads, find your niche and settle down to some great discussions with AS MANY people as you can. Do not cut yourself off, like I used to, to being as involved with as many Schmoes as you can.

5) You WILL be forgotten about in ten seconds flat if you break the rules, and there is no incident or topic you can think of that has not come up before and been erased and discarded. You will not be notorious, you will be forgotten...I've almost lost count of the Schmoes who have started shit and left, but ask me for more than ten of their names and I wouldn't have the foggiest. You will not shock us. You will not make us stay up late tonight, wondering where we went wrong. You will be turned off like a television and fade away to a little point of white light before you can say 'Fuc...'

6) You do not have the wit or the capacity to insult me. I know more swear words, more combinations of insults, and have an almost mythological well of stubborness when it comes to dealing with personal attacks. Don't bother to PM me if it simply to invoke a foul-mouthed and withering assault that will leave you weeping in he arms of your mama...you sissy-girl. ;)

jackson13

11-07-2003, 10:09 AM

A few more from Jackson:

1: When reading a topic, and going to reply, make sure you READ THE SCREEN IN FRONT OF YOU. So many times, especially of late, I've seen people that are new start a new topic when they meant to reply. There are 2 options at the bottom: New Thread and Reply to Topic. If you are to read, you would know that New Topic will in fact make a New Topic.

2. Dont ever, EVER make posts like this:

Dude

:D

Peace out dawg

We hate that. It take up half a damn page and you've said nothing but "Look, Im an attention whore!" I realize Invincible made a post like this recently, but it was to get a point across about how he feels about spoiler warnings. An offshoot of this is also, dont copy a post like this if someone else posted it, all it does is make the page even longer, and yes, no one has still said anything.

TheDeadWalk

11-07-2003, 03:32 PM

Kind of on what Jackson said, I think one thing that bugs me is when someone posts a nice funny picture, and then everyone who thinks it's funny must quote the picture, and make a funny remark about it, and then the original poster requotes the picture and the comment stated and retorts his own quirky (usually sexual) comment back to his replier.

This goes on for eternity, and all we have to show for it is a bunch of "LOLOLOL"s and 5 million pictures of Adolph Hitler wearing GAP Khakis.

Sugar Magnolia

11-07-2003, 07:53 PM

Originally posted by Reigh Kaufman
5) You WILL be forgotten about in ten seconds flat if you break the rules, and there is no incident or topic you can think of that has not come up before and been erased and discarded. You will not be notorious, you will be forgotten...I've almost lost count of the Schmoes who have started shit and left, but ask me for more than ten of their names and I wouldn't have the foggiest. You will not shock us. You will not make us stay up late tonight, wondering where we went wrong. You will be turned off like a television and fade away to a little point of white light before you can say 'Fuc...'

Now that's just not true. People are still talking about such former schmoes as Justinking and commandant. Hell, I've never read a post by Chewtoy and I know who he is...

blankpage

11-07-2003, 08:16 PM

Don't be afraid to voice your opinion, unless you like the movie 'Gigli'...KIDDING!!! Don't be afraid to be serious, and sometimes make hilarious jokes...we sometimes go off topic. And have fun enjoy....don't touch my beer, either.

Lynn Minmei

11-07-2003, 09:05 PM

Also, try to tell people when you're using spoilers about what film you're spoiling. I can't tell you how annoting it is to see a thread like "Saddest Endings" and see a post say "SPOILERS" instead of "SPOILERS for (Insert movies here)".

And also, DO NOT ASK SUGAR TO SING. I have the loveliest voice in the chat, and everyone knows it.

Jon Lyrik

11-07-2003, 11:23 PM

Originally posted by Sugar Magnolia
Now that's just not true. People are still talking about such former schmoes as Justinking and commandant. Hell, I've never read a post by Chewtoy and I know who he is...

Agreed. Some of the more well-established/infamous can live in out collective schmoeistic conscious for quite some time.

I only vaguely heard of chewtoy.

But if your looking to be a famous internet Troll, good luck (or should I say bad luck?). It'll never happen unless you manage to be well-established for a long enough period of time, or did something really memorable (in a bad way).

docholiday_13

11-07-2003, 11:35 PM

Too many rules and guidelines suggestions! Just have fun, dude!

notchreturns

11-08-2003, 01:19 AM

Don't be annoying, though some people obviously have a problem with that. I suggest medication
Don't spam
Don't issult
Actually talk about film and don't make everything a personal matter
Don't insult someone, but hide it behind a smiley, making it ok... I just really can't stand that
Don't think just because you have more posts than someone else you're the second coming of Christ
Don't be annoying
Actually know how to write and use grammar properly.
Don't suck up too JoBlo... too much
Don't be so friggin' uptight
Don't talkshit behind someones back, it will catch up to you and burn you in the ass
If you have a point, make it
Have fun
Don't like a film because the group does, have your opinion and kindly respect the other, even though you secretly think it's shit
Don't go into the chat pretending to be someone else
You like film, so post about it. Don't stick to the same 4 films.
Be nice
Be funny
Don't take your bad attitude or the fact that Daddy treated you wring out on us
Don't bring up the same old shit and stories
Don't think less of someone because they're 14 or 15. I've seen that too many times, and the truth is, they DO know more than you
This is a movie forum, don't bring your personal feelings, life, politics, religion or anything else that will get us all crazy and shittin' bullets
Don't disrespect Arrow, he will hunt you down and shave your balls

And last, but not least... if you think you'll be remembered because you're "hot shit", or told of a schmoe or Jo, you won't... it's a fucking place to talk movies! You're not running for President fer chrissakes! Now... post, you little bastards, you. Post until your fingers fall off and you can't even see your wee little cocks because you've been in front of the computer for too long.

And if you're a girl, send me nude pics. I'm a doctor, I know things. Important things. Things that will save your life.

Grim H.

11-09-2003, 02:31 AM

Originally posted by Adam J. Hakari
Make sure a schmoe is actually a guy before calling them "Mr." (sorry, moviefreak1980!).

;)

This gives me an idea. Since there are so many misconceptions about who is what gender on here (in usernames that aren't obvious), perhaps under our name there could be a gender option, that says either M or F. It might make everthing easier, if people use it properly, and it's only a slight change. Just a suggestion.

...and for future reference, I'm a guy. Just so you know, although I think everyone did...

bob

11-09-2003, 12:43 PM

No, the option should say "sex", because then us witty schmoes could write "Yes, please".

jackson13

11-10-2003, 10:22 AM

Alright, this is really starting to get on my goddamn nerves. This applies to everyone:

USE THE FUCKING SEARCH BUTTON WHEN STARTING A NEW TOPIC!

Last night, and im not meaning to be disrespectful here, Bracamonti started a new thread about Joblo being quoted on the Joe Dirt commercial on Comedy Central. We have a 2 page topic on it already thats right in the top 5 threads on the same page. To me, and again not being disrespectful, you couldnt possibly click on the General Forum and not see that topic, unless you click onto General Forum and New Thread right away, without bothering to search or even look to see if there is a topic already existent.

Then today Im surfing around the boards, and I click into this forum, and sure enough, I see yet another new topic about Joblo being quoted on Comedy Central. I know its big news that Joblo has been used on a national tv station quoting a movie, its huge news, but like mentioned, we already have a thread that is in the top 5 threads in the General Forum. If anyone had searched to see if said topic already exists, or even went into the General Forum and read through the topics, there wouldnt be topic after topic coming up about the same thing.

The search button is my friend. He is not greedy. He loves everyone. If you use him, he will be your friend too. :D

CyclicNightmare

11-10-2003, 11:18 AM

Originally posted by Indiana Sev
Do NOT bump old threads that a FORMER SCHMOE has started that resulted in controversy. There is a reason that former schmoe got banned and there is absolutely NO REASON to bring it up simply for the pleasure of everyone to see.

In the past few weeks alone (and just yesterday) I've noticed schmoes doing this. All it will do is anger moderators/administrator and cast a shadow of suspicion on the person who bumped it. The suspicion being that they are in fact a former schmoe who has come back and re-joined the board.

Don't do it. There is no purpose to it!
Hahahahaha. That was me who did that and I learned my lesson. :D

Jon Lyrik

11-10-2003, 09:21 PM

Originally posted by CyclicNightmare
Hahahahaha. That was me who did that and I learned my lesson. :D

Naughty boy! *shakes finger*

Damn...

I just noticed that. And it matches exactly what I thought. Someone please encourage me.

ANOTHER GAGGLE OF TIPS:

1) DO NOT USE THE CAPS LOCK. IT REALLY BUGS ME.

Oops, never mind...

2) Don't bump up threads that really shouldn't be. It's fine to bump one or two up every once in a while, but don't bump up like 5-10 old threads at a time, especially ones that really don't need to be. I've seen this happen many times at the hands of certain members, who will remain nameless.

3) Please, don't try to compare age with taste or intelligence. It can get real ugly and is meaningless anyway. Notchy brought this up.

4) Feed me grapes by hand.

quoth_the_raven

11-11-2003, 03:56 AM

Originally posted by Jon Lyrik

4) Feed me grapes by hand.

I'll go as far as cherries.

;)

docholiday_13

11-11-2003, 01:48 PM

You know, someone could use all this info and become the most annoying Schmoe ever to grace the boards.

:D :D :D

Grebdron

11-12-2003, 11:37 AM

Originally posted by docholiday_13
You know, someone could use all this info and become the most annoying Schmoe ever to grace the boards.

:D :D :D

Hell, it's worked for me.

blankpage

11-12-2003, 04:55 PM

Originally posted by bob
No, the option should say "sex", because then us witty schmoes could write "Yes, please".

Funniest thing I've read all day.

Jon Lyrik

11-16-2003, 07:55 PM

One lovely gentleman on the horror board started a stupid thread based on him bumping his post count up to 1,000.

Here is what I have to say to all newbies:

DON'T DO IT!

If you have a huge post count, fine, but it's stupid and pointless to make threads like merely with the intent of bumping your post count. That's banworthy IMO.

quoth_the_raven

11-17-2003, 10:00 AM

Originally posted by Jon Lyrik
. That's banworthy IMO.

and if not banworthy, then it should at the minimum be a spankable offence.

;)

JCR

12-01-2003, 07:26 PM

I say to the newbies, take some fucking pride in you're work. Everybody makes mistakes in their posts sometimes and that's fine but when I read one's like this: (from the matrix board "great debate" thread)

"Exaclty.
Also people that dont like the matrix fail to realise (majority) that the direcotrs set out to make a movie on a story entwined with philosophy and mad ass effects. They did exaclt that. With great way of amking the unoiverse to boot.

Blue pill is for pussy's"

I mean that's just depressing. Take a moment to read you're work to make sure it makes sense. If you're not sure cut and paste it into a word processor programme and run a spellcheck. It'll only take you a couple of seconds and if you're post makes sense, the point you are trying to put across with it will come through much more clearly.

'Nut

12-01-2003, 09:21 PM

Originally posted by Jon Lyrik
Penut, right?

Check with JoBlo about your account difficulties. I wouldn't leave a 2,000+ postage account out to dry.

Yes... yes, I see the light. I did once go by that name. ;)

No, I did talk to Joblo, and basically we came to the conclusion that something was wrong with my computer, I couldn't log into my account, so I made a new one... and I think it was ok with Joblo last we spoke. And it worked.

The Postmaster General

12-03-2003, 02:47 PM

10. Read the rules.

9. Listen to the mods, and respect their wishes. There is no need to get a last word in.

8. Discuss, don't debate. You aren't going to win any prizes for being right all the time.

7. Avoid using opinion as fact when you are trying to be taken seriously.

6. Keep it moving. Expand on ideas, and offer more examples, and insights. Don't get repetitive.

5. Use the net to its fullest. Post pictures, provide links, research what you are talking about once-and-a-while.

4. Eat, drink, and be merry. If you are pissed while posting, something is wrong. Enjoy yourself a bit, maybe take a break.

3.

The Postmaster General

12-03-2003, 02:51 PM

3. Be careful not to hit return while posting, or problems may occur.

2. Take nothing personally. Everyone is an idiot, except the mods.

1. This place is the shizzle. Don't think you won't want to come back.

Quiver

12-04-2003, 11:30 AM

Originally posted by JCR
I say to the newbies, take some fucking pride in you're work. Everybody makes mistakes in their posts sometimes and that's fine but when I read one's like this: (from the matrix board "great debate" thread)

"Exaclty.
Also people that dont like the matrix fail to realise (majority) that the direcotrs set out to make a movie on a story entwined with philosophy and mad ass effects. They did exaclt that. With great way of amking the unoiverse to boot.

Blue pill is for pussy's"

I mean that's just depressing. Take a moment to read you're work to make sure it makes sense. If you're not sure cut and paste it into a word processor programme and run a spellcheck. It'll only take you a couple of seconds and if you're post makes sense, the point you are trying to put across with it will come through much more clearly.

This is a problem I have had before (Although I hope not to the extent that JCR is showing). I have since begun using my WP to do a spell check on most of my posts. For some ungodly reason, when I type out my posts, I always manage to type "the" as "teh"! It mainly pisses me off when I go back and read my post after wards, and it makes me look like a dolt!

Other than that, my only suggestion is to try and keep the peace, and refrain from stooping to the lowest denominator and insulting your fellow schmoes. We've seen too many folks disappear for that lately.

*Edit Post: Damn! Even with spell check I still managed to screw up! Help me please! Is there an english teacher in the house?:(