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View Full Version : Movie Theaters Need Pest Control!


jackson13
11-09-2003, 03:49 PM
This is the time of year in Northern Indiana we Hoosiers dread: The Time of the Ladybug Invasion. Every year, from when it starts to cool off outside to the first snow, every home and building is swarmed with disgusting, smelly, annyoing Ladybugs. Even movie theaters. Now, when I see a Ladybug flying around my room, driving me insane by 'ticking' on the ceiling and walls, I kill it. I hate Ladybugs, and pretty much everyone else around here does too. I have a new hatred for Ladybugs. It goes a little something like this:

Im at the theater today, watching ELF with my mom and dad, and the theater is packed. We're all excited to see a Christmas movie. Now, I should explain that since this is a Christmas movie, and many scenes are at the North Pole, which is covered with snow. Snow is white, so that makes for a bright screen. Ladybugs are attracted to, you guessed it, LIGHT. The little window in front of the projector, had Ladybugs crawling all over it. The screen itself may have had some on it, but sitting in the back of the theater, you cant see tiny little motherfucking insects. When they are on the little window of glass in front of the projector, they show up as HUGE MOTHERFUCKING MONSTERS on the screen. Except, they are almost transparent. Theres nothing worse than trying to enjoy a movie, and then seeing a shadow, with legs, scramble across Will Ferrells face. Actually there is, try having 2 sonsabitches crawl across Will Ferrells face! Along with 2 or 3 more crawling across the screen at the same time. All you see is these little shadows of bugs walking all across the movie you are trying to watch.

When the movie let out, I stood up and said to my mom "I loved the movie, but im glad the Ladybug show is over!" A few people around me all heard me and they agreed too. So as we were leaving the theater, a couple theater employees were holding the doors open, and I siddled up beside one and said to her "You need to get an exterminator here and get rid of the annoying Ladybugs that are flying around your theater and crawling across the projector window". The girl looked at me and said, "we've gotten complaints before, and the owner knows about it, but wont do anything". I just turned around and walked away. Im pissed off about it now. You want money? You want people to come to YOUR THEATER and watch a movie, so that you stay in business? KEEP THE CUSTOMERS HAPPY THEN! No one likes to see fucking bugs crawling across the faces and scenes of the movie they are trying to watch! Man some people are dumbasses!


Rant over, I feel a little bit better. Anyone else ever had this happen though?

deatheater
11-09-2003, 04:00 PM
yep.........at the local piss /$1.00 theater...........thats crap....i saw Jeepers creepers 2 there.And got several misquitos bits because of there bad bug problem.Anyways JC2 sucked bigtime.

BorderEevilIII
11-09-2003, 04:09 PM
Well the blame lies to the owners of the theater. The employees that work there realize the problem and as quoted, the owner wont do anything about it. Since the tight wad owners wont do shit, does the Board of Health will maybe be a thorn on their side. The other factor could be stop going to the theater COLD TURKEY but I HATE to see the employees lose their jobs.

Jon Lyrik
11-09-2003, 04:18 PM
That sucks. They should screen that place, or at least get the bug spray out.

I like insects, but not like that.

That could make a great horror film though! A 3D film is getting popular across the country killing everyone who watches it because it attracts bugs to the bright projector, who turn into huge, murderous bugs in the illusion of 3D, but when they attack you, it is NOT pretend murder! Who will stop this phenominominominom?

Scarface98.9
11-09-2003, 07:45 PM
Who will stop this phenominominominom?

Only Ben Affleck can stop the moon raper/ladybugs.

It's sad to hear about the killer ladybugs invading your showing of Elf. But I gotta compliment you on how you phrased your rant, it was hilarious to read.

What I always wished they would do is equip certain movie seats with mace underneath them. Just in case some rowdy, dumb ass moviegoer is talking with friends, shouting, making a nuissance, etc. the people with the mace can easily spray them in the eyes to get them out of the theater. In a perfect world anyways :(

jackson13
11-09-2003, 07:55 PM
I've noticed that a lot of people always say my rants are hilarious/great. Im really just saying whats on my mind, thats all. But thanks for the praise.


During the movie I kept waiting to see one crawl across the glass again and then see the screen go black because someone reached thier hand up and smashed the fuck out of all of em, then the screen comes back because they moved thier hand away and theres nothing but flat Ladybugs oozing goo all over. On second thought, Im glad that didnt happen. Maybe I should start taking a can of raid with me to the theater, and anytime a bug lands on the window in front of the projector just stand up, spray the hell out of it, wipe it off, and continue watching the movie.

Insects piss me off.