Language Editing for tv

[rilocay]

Ok, well all know of it and have heard it at one time or another. When a certain word or sentance has been edited from its original way to suit tv ratings...

eg from scarface:
original: This town is like a great big pussy, just waiting to be fucked.

tv: this town is like a great big chicken, just waiting to be plucked.


So, c'mon down and post ones that u kno down here!

[movieguy1021]

The Usual Suspects
Original Line: Give me the fucking keys, you fucking cocksucker.
New Line: Give me the keys, you fairy godmother.

Happy Gilmore
OL: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
NL: I eat pieces of scum like you for breakfast.
You eat pieces of scum for breakfast?

I'll post more as I think of them.

[Squid Vicious]

I was watching From Dusk Till Dawn on TV once. I forget which channel it was, but it was all chopped up. Anyway, at one point, Seth Gecko (George Clooney's character) says, "I won't fool with you if you don't fool with me." I was cracking up. It's fun to watch movies you've already seen when they're all cut up. :D

[movieguy1021]

I don't remember where I heard it, but instead of 'motherfucker' they had both 'motherfather' and 'maggotfarmer'

[A.J. Hakari]

I remember when ABC aired MALLRATS, and instead of substituting some words, they just left them out, leaving the movie with a lot of "What the--"'s, "Where the---"'s, and "Who the--"'s. Jay might as well have been nonexistent.

[LedFloyd]

Yeah, I saw Mallrats on USA and they dubbed over Jay.
The Big lebowski- This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.
TV- This is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps.:D

[Narst]

Die Hard 2: Die Harder:

Original: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

Edited: Yippee-ki-yay, Mister Falcon!

[Jon Lyrik]

"Oh freak you. Freak you, Sam Rothstein, freak YOU!"

--USA's presentation of Casino

[movieguy1021]

Scream on FOX:

about 8 zillion "Forget you!"s

Also, on one of my crappy UHF channels, whenever they play Fargo, they always just take out teh words, but every other sound too, so often its completely blank when they curse. It's especially hilarious during Steve Buscemi's 'speech' at the end.

[Lindsey]

I was watching Juice last night on VH1, and the line was supposed to be "Suck my dick". Instead, it was "Suck my toe". WTF? That had me cracking up. Who in the hood would ever say a fucking comment like that? :)

[movieguy1021]

In the second Austin Powers, nothing is edited out except to 'goshdarn' and when Dr. Evil calls Austin an 'a-hole (his actual words), they censor that out. Ain't that a bitch

[Jerk Shapiro]

The Crow on TBS:


Original line ( I think ) ~ "...bull fuckin'-shit..."

Edited line ~ "...bull flippin'-spit..."



Just amazing.

[Scarface98.9]

I was watching The Matrix recently, and, well...

Original line: "Jesus Christ, he's fast!"

New line: "Judas Priest, he's fast!"

And some people were complaining about the Superman reference in Reloaded :D

[movieguy1021]

That reminds me, in The Exorcist, I should have counted how many times Ellen Burstyn yelled "JUDAS PRIEST!"

[Jon Lyrik]

Judas Priest is dawg, yo. He'll bitchslap those channels, yo.

Judas here. I'm dawg, yo, and I'll bitchslap the channels that did that, yo!

[Jerk Shapiro]

It's good to see a great rock band like Judas Priest getting so much recognition...

[Grim H.]

I was watching The Matrix on tv once. and in the beginning when Neo gets taken by the agents, you see Trinity and she's supposed to say "shit," but in the edited one she says "shux"

SHUX! Who the hell says that! It could've at least been "shoot"

[Frank the Tank]

The Faculty

Original: Fuck
TV Version: Phooey

The Crow

Original: Asshole
TV Version: Asshair
Why would they change hole with hair.

G.I. Jane

Original: Suck My Dick
TV Version: Kiss My Sticks

[Jon Lyrik]

Phooey this shucks!
Phooey you, asshair!
Kiss my sticks, phooeyhead!

I see what you mean, Frankie.

[Indiana Sev]

Originally posted by LedFloyd
The Big lebowski- This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.
TV- This is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps.:D

C'moooooon! Is that true? :D:D

[Scarface98.9]

Originally posted by Indiana Sev
C'moooooon! Is that true? :D:D
I can attest to it. The first time I ever saw any scenes for TBL was on TV, and this scene came on. You can't blame me for being confused when John Goodman goes on a rampage talking about finding strangers in the alps

[jackson13]

"Step #1, instead of 'ass' say 'buns', like 'Kiss my buns' or 'Your a bunshole". Step #2 instead of 'shit' say 'poo' as in 'Bullpoo', 'Poohead' and 'This poo is cold'. Step #3 with 'bitch' drop the 't' cause Bich is latin for Generosity. Step #4 dont say 'fuck' anymore cause 'fuck' is the worst word you can say, so just use the word 'mmkay'!"

:D


Maybe the TV Censors have been watching to much of South Park BLU and decided to edit words based on that song.

The worst for me though, was when I was watching The Faculty on USA and everytime Josh Hartnett would scream "FUCK" it'd be "PHOOEY!" Just made me laugh at how bad it was.

[one_crow_sorrow]

American Pie:
Fuck you = Forget you
Shit Break = Stink Break
Suck me, beautiful = Touch me, beautiful

My, Myself & Irene:
Motherfucker = Mammajamma

[thompsoncory]

SCREAM 2

Original: "The killer is Cotton fucking Weary"
Edited: "The killer is Cotton picking Weary"