The 10 Commandments Of Film-Making

[McBain]

1. Thou Shalt Not Have Talking Animals
2. Thou Shalt Not Dress Up Animals
3. Thou Shalt Not Be Mel Brooks
4. Hounour Thy Original Source Material
5. Thou Shalt Not Have Pointless Soppy Songs
6. Thou Shalt Not Hide Nudity To Lower Rating
7. Thou Shalt Not Use Pointless Spec. Effects
8. Thou Shalt Not Have Made Lost In Space
9. Thou Should Give Oscars To Sci-Fi & Horror
10. Thou Shalt Not Be A Christian Scientist

[cow]

Whats wrong with Mel Brooks and christian scientists?

[QUENTIN]

I like the list, but you forgot 2 commandments:

11.Thou Shalt Not Blatantly rip-off Tarantino

and possibly THE most important commandment:

12.Thou Shalt Not Have Katie Holmes In Clothing

[Celestial-being]

Hey how about

Thou Shalt Not Cast Jake Lloyd
Thou Shalt Kill Harvey Keitel If He Gets His Kit Off Again
Thou Shalt Not Have More Style Than Substance
Thou Shalt Realise That British Gangster Films Are A Lost Cause

[JoBlo]

Thou Shalt not give away the ENTIRE movie in the goddamn trailer
Thou Shalt not give Lisa Kudrow any more parts as "the ditz"
Thou Shalt not show scenes in the trailer which do not appear in the film
Thou Shalt not make crappy sequels to cult-favorites
Thou Shalt not give Joel Schumacher another chance

[cow]

Though shall not make Corny SNL Movies

[QUENTIN]

Amen!

[roann]

Thou shalt not remake old TV shows into movies.
Thou shalt cease doing overhead shots of actors with arms upraised in the rain.
Thou shalt not ever let Kevin Costner do another English accent.

[retardinAz]

What movies have had overhead shots of people in the rain with their arms raised other than Shawshank?

Thou shalt not try to make sequels without the original screenwriter and/or director.

[roann]

Other than Shawshank:

The Green Mile
Shine
I Know What You Did Last Summer

[cow]

i dont remember them doing it in The Green Mile. Wh DO they do it?

[retardinAz]

I know what you are thinking of. When John Coffey is looking up at the sky. It isn't in the rain though. And the one in I Know... was a good one.

[Joe Bob Jim]

Though shall not make movies about old cartoons. (Rocky and Bullwinkle).
Though shall make more Mr. Bill shows

[This message has been edited by Joe Bob Jim (edited 09-22-2000).]

[blankpage]

BUMP!

I was just looking through old posts, and found this one. 'Tis interesting...

Post away, Schmoes!

[Hannibal21]

Thou shalt not work with Tom Green
Thou shalt not make pointless sequels to otherwise great movies
Thou shalt not give anymore bad roles to Robert De Niro
Thou shalt not be a friend to David Fincher
Thou shalt not work with talentless screenwriters!!!!!

[SAI]

Thou shalt assume the audience has more than 1 braincell
Thou shalt remember: if it ain't broke don't remake it
Thou shalt not allow Madonna to act again
Thou shalt make horror movies scary
Thou shalt finish thine special effects before thy film is released

[Raymond Babbit]

Originally posted by McBain

3. Thou Shalt Not Be Mel Brooks


What's wrong with Mel Brooks?

Also you forgot one: Thou shalt not remake good movies. If you are going to do one anyway, than thou shalt not change the story so much that it's not the same movie or that the original title makes no sense (whoever's writing the Manchurian Candidate remake, this one's for you.)

[direct2deep]

Originally posted by JoBlo
Thou Shalt not show scenes in the trailer which do not appear in the film
[/B]


i Agree with this commandment to the fullist

[Cyclonus]

I'd have to ask our film theologists...what would be the spiritual consequences of making a film where Katie Holmes is butt naked for two long hours--full frontal, bush shots, the works?

[pineapple]

Thou Shalt not give away the ENTIRE movie in the goddamn trailer
Thou Shalt not give Lisa Kudrow any more parts as "the ditz"
Thou Shalt not show scenes in the trailer which do not appear in the film
Thou Shalt not make crappy sequels to cult-favorites
Thou Shalt not give Joel Schumacher another chance



Joblo you said it.

[Adam J. Hakari]

Thou shalt kick the asses of Dimension's marketing department.
Thou shalt stop giving pristine DVD treatment to crappy movies.
Thou shalt turn off the sound in the theatre during the "In Memoriam" segment of the Oscars.
Thou shalt never release a Martin Lawrence movie ever again.

[Grim H.]

1. Thou Shalt NOT remake Citizen Kane
2. Thou Shalt NOT make a sequel to a movie 20 years after initial release.
3. Thou Shalt NOT cast Tom Green...EVER!
4. Thou Shalt NOT give Kevin Costner another chance
5. Thou Shalt NOT remake a perfectly good movie...(still upholding the 1st commandment.)
6. Thou Shalt NOT make another Jason movie.
7. Thou Shalt NOT overuse CGI.
8. Thou Shalt NOT do another Matrix parody (I've seen enough).
9. Thou Shalt NOT cast Martin Lawrence...EVER!
10. I am the Grim, thy asskicker...If thou breaks my rules...I will kick your ass... :D

[zeppelin]

1. Thou Shalt have a plot.
2. Thou Shalt Not over-use special effects.
3. Thou Shalt Not use out-of-context quotes on commercials or DVD cases.
4. Thou Shalt make more movies for people with an IQ higher than 40.
5. Thou Shalt start advertising good films more, and bad films less.
6. Thou Shalt Not play commercials before the trailers start.
7. Thou Shalt make the Oscars less political.
8. Thou Shalt Not have 30 other award shows before the Oscars that make the Oscars extremely predictable.
9. Thou Shalt Not make any more sequels to the classic Disney animated movies.
10. Thou Shalt Not cast pop stars in movies.

[Raoul Duke]

Thou shall stop making Air Bud movies!