Okay, okay. I'll stick an icepick in my ears. But STOP already.

[Grebdron]

Just a quick rant about all the fucking Christmas muzak that is inundating my senses.

I mean, COME ON! This shit started BEFORE Thanksgiving this year.

If I hear fucking Run, Run Rudolph one more fucking time, I'm going to position myself in a clock tower, and start taking people out.

Nobody cares that "All I Want for Christmas, is You." And Bing and David's Drummer Boy had it's day...10,000 days ago.

Please stop. I don't want to leave my house, cause I know the minute I'm in public, I'll hear a rousing rendition of Jingle Fucking Bells.

I wish I was Jewish.

[BorderEevilIII]

no, Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer?
Merry Christmas Darling by Carpernters?
Last Christmas- Wham? Madonna OR Eartha Kitt- Santa Baby? Any duets w/ Rosie O'Donnell? Jingle Cats? Jingle Dogs? Christmas Music by Jewel? The soundtrack to How The Grinch Stole Christmas? The Now Thats What I Call Christmas? Michael Jackson (Before He Got Freaky) w/ The Jackson 5 -Christmas Album? Bob Rivers- Christmas Albums? Mariah Carey Christmas Albums? The Compilations of A Very Special Christmas Either? Well no worries Greb my man! After December 26 it will be no more!
I HOPE :D

[bmain77]

Hey Greb,

you forgot those fucking irritating barking dogs.

The thing that really bugs me about christmas is the people down the road who have a nativity scene up in their yard, with Santa and his reindeer on top of baby jesus's little shed. Tell me these people aren't rednecks.

[jackson13]

Greb, starting a thread? Greb, actually talking about something legit? Dear Lord, Hell has frozen over! :D


Im with you on this one buddy. 3 local radio stations in my area feel the need to play Xmas Music 24/7, and yes, they began about a week before Thanksgiving. It should be a federal law that Christmas music only allowed to be played during the week of Christmas, not before and not after.

As for most annoying song, my ears bleed everytime I hear that damn 'Santa Claus is coming to town' Live version by 'The Boss'. I like Springsteen, but Christ is that song annoying, and bad.

[Lil' Lebowski]

As for most annoying song, my ears bleed everytime I hear that damn 'Santa Claus is coming to town' Live version by 'The Boss'. I like Springsteen, but Christ is that song annoying, and bad. [/B][/QUOTE]

I could not agree more........

[Jon Lyrik]

Amazingly, I have managed to avoid any Christmas music so far.

[quoth_the_raven]

It's a sign that christmas is on the way---i mean, even Saddam has the whole santa beard thing going on...

;)

[The Postmaster General]

1. Musak refers to a company which does midi/instrumental renditions of popular songs.


2. My home radio is tuned to 94.9, which has been playing X-Mas music for weeks now.



3. So is my car radio.



4. I wish I was Jewish when I hear Sandler's Chaunaka Song.

[Carrieattheprom]

I heard something worse than Jingle Dogs.

It had someone LAUGHING to the tune of Jingle Bells. They "ha, ha, ha"ed in time to the song.

[blankpage]

I don't mind it THAT much, but this stuff started over a month ago (like Greb said)!! Christmas is in December....the end. Not November....not January...DECEMBER!

[therealjohng]

Originally posted by blankpage
I don't mind it THAT much, but this stuff started over a month ago (like Greb said)!! Christmas is in December....the end. Not November....not January...DECEMBER!



Christmas music in January? Where the fuck do you live?

[flowrchild]

Originally posted by Carrieattheprom
It had someone LAUGHING to the tune of Jingle Bells. They "ha, ha, ha"ed in time to the song.

Now that's just wrong.

I like a little christmas tune here and there, but being that they are the ONLY things played on the radio now, I just pop in a CD in my car and listen to my own music. Then when the mood strikes me, I'll put on the radio for a couple of cheesy x-mas melodies.

In my opinion, the *worst* Christmas song I have ever heard, that I cannot listen to without wanting to stab myself repeatedly in the ears, is that damn "christmas shoes" song. Here is an excerpt from it:

Chorus:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Has anyone else been exposed to this horror?!?

[Carrieattheprom]

They counted pennies for what seemed like years, and the cashier said son there's not enough here, he searched his pockets franticaly, then he turned and he looked at me, he said moma made christmas good at our house, most years she just did without, tell me sir what am I gonna do, somehow I have to buy her these christmas shoes.

[Grebdron]

Originally posted by flowrchild
Chorus:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight



Originally posted by Carrieattheprom
They counted pennies for what seemed like years, and the cashier said son there's not enough here, he searched his pockets franticaly, then he turned and he looked at me, he said moma made christmas good at our house, most years she just did without, tell me sir what am I gonna do, somehow I have to buy her these christmas shoes.

You guys aren't helping.

:D

[SykkBoy]

One way to snap out of the Christmas carol funk is to listen to some new Christmas carols like Kevin Bloody Wilson's "Hey Santa, You Cunt, Where's Me Fuckin' Bike?" and "Santa Claus Is Going To Town" ;-)))

[BadCoverVersion]

Originally posted by flowrchild
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Sweet Baby Christ, I want to eat my own tongue and piss on my eyeball's.

You want a bit of Slade's Merry Christmas Everybody in your stocking, quality tune.

[jackson13]

If you want a good tune, I suggest Santas Super Sleigh.

"Look who's coming round the way
It's Santa and his reindeer sleigh......" :D

[KcMsterpce]

You haven't heard true horror until you go to the mall here in Hawaii, stuck in a long line with Christmas music being sung by an out-of-tune children's choir IN TAGALOG. Even worse, they do English-based Christmas music IN HAWAIIAN.

Oh my God.

You can't imagine how fucking terrible it is. Honestly, I can't put into words the pain that comes from hearing this shite. My whole body shakes with disgust.

[BorderEevilIII]

(looks at KCM)
And whats WRONG w/ Hawaiian Christmas Music?:eek: ;)

[KcMsterpce]

Originally posted by BorderEevilIII
And whats WRONG w/ Hawaiian Christmas Music?:eek: ;)

Well, the first thing that's wrong with it is the Hawaiian music. I hate it.

The other part? Oh yeah, Christmas music. I hate that, too. Yeah. That's it. That's why I hate it. The two of them together is emtionally, physically and psychologically distressing to me. Like someone with Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (fear of long words) being forced to read his own phobia!!

BAH HUMBUG! ;)

[Jess]

I work at the mall.

What else can I say? WHAT ELSE CAN I FUCKING SAY?!?!?

I know, how about:

I have an 8 hour shift on Friday. That's 8 hours of every single version EVER MADE of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. Yes, his nose was shiny and if you saw it, you might even say it glows. But have you ever wondered why it glows? Huh? Well I'll tell you why it glows! It glows because Rudolph was a fucking drunk, that's fucking why! Are you gonna trust a drunken reindeer? Are you? No. You're not. He's at the head of Santa's sleigh! That means that all of the other reindeer are following him and that Santa ain't got no control so if Rudolph runs a red light and smashes into a pole, you know who they're gonna blame? Santa. That's right, Santa. He justs wants the girls and boys to be happy. That's all. Nothing more. But fucking Rudolph's gonna be all like
"Hey! Santa! Get over here you fat bitch! Listen to me. Listen. I know what I'm doing! *hiccup* Noooooo, I'm not drunk. Why would you say that, huh? Is it because I'm fat?" etc, etc.

And do you know how much money I make for tolerating this shit? Not enough. Never enough! And now look at me, I've gone crazy! So I've lost my dignity and my sanity! Wow, working at the mall is spiffy, man! Just spiffy!

[deatheater]

Why dont you listen to Jingle bells and Here comes Santa Claus with bagpipes in back ground!OH THE HORROR!THE HORROR!

And do I ever HATE Christmas music!

[Damned Martian]

Originally posted by flowrchild
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight LOL :D That has to be one of the most hilariously morbid songs i've ever heard, I wish it was available in spanish!

[jackson13]

Speaking of Spanish, my local radio station, who I thought wasnt on the Christmas Music Bandwagon, just played a Christmas song written by Satan himself: Ricky Martins "Ay Yi Yi It's Christmas".


Ay Yi Yi I wanna pull my brain out through my eye socket and stomp on it!

[bowieee]

The Christmas music I can take.

It's my coworkers feeling like they can sing along with it all day long that I can't. My ears are about to bleed.

[electriclite]

Originally posted by Grebdron
Please stop. I don't want to leave my house, cause I know the minute I'm in public, I'll hear a rousing rendition of Jingle Fucking Bells.

I wish I was Jewish.




Wait a minute, wait a minute?
So being Jewish means that an audio force field is automatically installed to block out all songs celebrating anything Gentile?




Well, Catholocism was fun, but I'm off to convert;) :D







This is why Halloween is my favorite holiday: Better songs;)

[Grebdron]

Originally posted by electriclite
Wait a minute, wait a minute?
So being Jewish means that an audio force field is automatically installed to block out all songs celebrating anything Gentile?




Well, Catholocism was fun, but I'm off to convert;) :D

Well, Miss Smarty Pants...;)

If I were Jewish, I'd probably frequent less establishments that play that shit.

But I'd probably also get tired very quickly of hearing Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel every five fucking minutes, too.

Scratch the Jewish thing...I wish I lived in Antarctica.

[Neesh]

Originally posted by Grebdron
If I were Jewish, I'd probably frequent less establishments that play that shit.
what establishments... you mean like a church? ;)

I love holiday music! Theres nothing Christian or religious about the song Jingle Bells. A personal favourite however, is this one: (everyone sing along now....)

Oh the weather outside is frightful...
The fire is so delightful.
Since we've no place to go...
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow !


Scratch the Jewish thing...I wish I lived in Antarctica.
Ah, lots of SNOW !

[Grebdron]

Okay Neesh, you're not helping either.;)

It's not the "Christian" or "religious" part of it that gets to me. Hell, I'm agnostic, but still celebrate Christmas as a holiday to enjoy with my family.

It's the fact that it is POUNDED DOWN MY FUCKING THROAT everywhere I go.

I have coffee and read the paper for two hours at Starbucks every morning, and they've got the same fucking CD on a loop constantly.

I just want December 26 to come as quickly as possible.

[jackson13]

Originally posted by Grebdron
I have coffee and read the paper for two hours at Starbucks every morning, and they've got the same fucking CD on a loop constantly.

Aha! The source of all of your problems my friend. Your being slammed in the ass by Starbucks overpriced "coffee" and getting slammed in the head by thier constant need to play christmas music. You sir, are in a 3-some, and you dont even know it!

Get out while you can, have coffee somewhere else, like Dunkin Donuts, everytime I've been in a DD I have heard zero Christmas music, and they have good coffee.

Your ass and throat will thank me, trust me.

[Carrieattheprom]

Remember the song where Santa's stuck in the chimmney?

My cousin likes to sing "I saw mommy kissing santa clause" only he sings, "I saw mommy FUCKING santa clause."

[KcMsterpce]

Originally posted by jackson13
... Your ass and throat will thank me, trust me.
Need I say anything about this line?
Uh..... Er... uhm... well... uhhh -

I tried to use that excuse once, but it she didn't find it to be all that soothing. :D :p

NOTE: Kinda sorry. I just couldn't let that sentence go untouched. It was aching for a punchline!

But in other news; yeah, I still hate Christmas music. I don't care WHAT religion or race I am, I am always going to hate Christmas music. It's even worse when it's redone in out-of-tune Hawaiian or Tagalog. Nothing against the languages - I love languages - just against the horrible renditions of already terrible songs is all.

[jackson13]

Oh man, it goes worse everyday. I get up this morning and turn on the radio to listen to in the shower, and what is the first song I hear?

A TECHNO version of 'Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire' sung by Slutina Augilera.

Yes, you read that correctly: TECHNO.

The world is literally coming to an end.

[blankpage]

Originally posted by therealjohng
Christmas music in January? Where the fuck do you live?


Canada. ;)

[Annie Hall]

Originally posted by blankpage
Canada. ;)

Ahhhh. So it all becomes clear. ;)


Yeah, Greb, trust me....being Jewish helps VERY little. Kenny G at the bookstore, hip hop-i-fied versions of "We Wish you a Merry Christmas" at Best Buy, lilting tones of obnoxious strings in the coffee shop...they're everywhere. There is ONE and only ONE worthwhile Christmas song, and that is Carol of the Bells, and that is good only when done correctly.

Of course, Kc, I never want to hear it in Hawaiian...

[ERIN_LoJ]

Another schmoe agreeing they overdo the Christmas music and holiday spirit!!!

And of course who can forget the jungling bells at Walmart when you walk in from the charities

[Neesh]

Sleigh bells ring, are ya listenin ?
In the lane, snow is glistenin'...
A beautiful sight,
We're happy tonight,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

[Damned Martian]

You know, yesterday in a pub I heard a song, right after the last salsa hit, that you grebdron would have paid for hearing: a remix of "Jingle Bells" played with little bells and "We Will Rock You" by Queen. A-MAY-ZING! :D