Freddy is God
12-23-2003, 06:32 PM
Hey y'all. Just thought I might toss a heads up to those of you who enjoyed the original "Rap of the Ring". El Bracamonti and I wrote that one eons ago......and now.....the second installment is released....have fun!
The Rap of the Ring: The Two Wiggers
GANDALF (speaking)
You fuckin’ asshole! DIE YOU BLACK PIECE OF SHIT!
BALROG
Uhhhh!!!!
GANDALF (speaking)
‘Eyo eyo, Gandalf in the hizzle bizzle mcfrizzle!
GANDALF
Slayin’ the beast, pumpin’ the beats
Takin’ off my pants and squeezin’ your teats
BALROG
UHHHHHHHH!
GANDALF
Yeah you dirty nigga, you like that shit
Now go downtown and lick my clit
FRODO
Gandalf’s dead, and I miss the Shire
He died while fighting that beast of fire
SAM
Oh shit nigga, that sucks a nut
Come over here, I wanna rape your butt
FRODO
Goddamnit, Samwise, how many times do I have to say
Frodo is not motherfuckin’ gay
(music stops)
SAM (speaking)
Shit!
(music starts again)
GANDALF
Hey you fuckin’ midgets, I’m right here
Frodo’s no homo, but I be queer
MERRY
Shit, motherfucker, Gandalf is alive
Come here, Pippin, and gimme a high-five
GANDALF
I got an idea, orgy at my place
If you come early, I’ll cum on your face
PIPPIN
I’m gonna pass on that one, you dirty fuckin slut
I very much prefer to take it in the butt
ARAGORN
Holy shit it’s Gandalf! I thought that you were dead!
GANDALF
Nope I’m not, but I sure could use some head…
GOLLUM
We wants the precious, we wants the ring
Once we got that, we got the bling bling
SMEAGOL
Hey you dirty bitch, we can’t hurt master
Fuckin’ with his shit would be a disaster
GOLLUM
Fuck you slut! You’d be nowhere without me!
SMEAGOL
Yeah right bitch! Now would you please leave!
GOLLUM
No.
SMEAGOL
Yes.
GOLLUM
No.
SMEAGOL
Yes.
GOLLUM
Fuck you bitch! You know I’m the best!
SMEAGOL
Leave now and never come back!
Hey he’s gone! Check out my rack!
SARUMAN
The army draws near, gonna leave none alive
Oh shit, Gandalf DID survive
GANDALF
You damn right, biatch, and instead of being gray
I’m Gandalf the white (and I’m also still gay!)
SARUMAN
Shit you fuckin whitey! It’s over between us!
Plus, I’ll bet you anything I’ve got a bigger penis
GANDALF
Hey you dirty wigger, get out of the old guy
I got a magic spell that’s gonna make you cry
THEODEN & EOWYN (speaking)
Thanks!
THEODEN
Gotta save Rohan and the people within it
But I gotta dirty whore who’s comin’ any minute
So why don’t we just go down to Helm’s Deep
And then me and my ho can “go to sleep”
GIMLI
Shit Theo-dizzin, we ain’t got time
Plus I got a bitch who should be here at nine
GANDALF
Now we’re fighting to save Helm’s Deep
In the meantime, Merry’s fuckin’ some sheep
MERRY
Hey no I’m not, you lyin’ piece of shit
PIPPIN
Then what’s that fur hanging off your dick?
FARAMIR
What do ya know, I found some little orc spies
Those dirty little whores are really gonna die
SAM
No, sir, please! We’re from the Shire!
Also, in bed, I am on FIRE!
FARAMIR
Okay bitches, I’ll let you live
But to me the ring you must give
LEGOLAS
All my elven brothas comin’ gonna help us fight
This way we might last all the night
GIMLI
I’m a big fat midget, and I’m getting lost
Hey yo Aragorn, I need to be to tossed
ARAGORN
Alright fine, and I won’t tell the elf
He’s too busy fucking himself
TREEBEARD
I…
Am…
An…
Ent…
MERRY
You dirty fuckin tree, just go get bent
We need to go to Isengard to fight the dirty hoes
Now go with us and take off all your clothes!
PIPPIN
But they killed your friends and some got burned
If we kick their asses, they will have learned
SARUMAN
Shit motherfucker, the tree’s be movin’
And if we die, then we won’t be groovin’
THEODEN
Helm’s Deep is saved, thanks to y’all
Now who wants to come here and suck on my ball?
GIMLI
I will I will! I could use a snack
Long as you’re willing to shave my back
SAM
We gotta keep goin’
The ring’s almost gone
Just like in the stories where they keep pushin’ on
We’re gonna be the heroes
And it’ll be great
FRODO
You motherfuckin’ fatass, lose some weight!
FARAMIR
Fine you dirty figs, just get out of here
But if you wanna go, you gotta suck on my rear
SAM
Me! Me! I wanna do that now!
FARAMIR
Get the fuck away from me you fat fuckin’ cow
FRODO
Well we’re almost to Mordor, our journey will conclude
SAM
Hey Mr. Frodo, you wanna get nude?
FRODO (speaking)
No.
THE END
The Rap of the Ring: The Two Wiggers
GANDALF (speaking)
You fuckin’ asshole! DIE YOU BLACK PIECE OF SHIT!
BALROG
Uhhhh!!!!
GANDALF (speaking)
‘Eyo eyo, Gandalf in the hizzle bizzle mcfrizzle!
GANDALF
Slayin’ the beast, pumpin’ the beats
Takin’ off my pants and squeezin’ your teats
BALROG
UHHHHHHHH!
GANDALF
Yeah you dirty nigga, you like that shit
Now go downtown and lick my clit
FRODO
Gandalf’s dead, and I miss the Shire
He died while fighting that beast of fire
SAM
Oh shit nigga, that sucks a nut
Come over here, I wanna rape your butt
FRODO
Goddamnit, Samwise, how many times do I have to say
Frodo is not motherfuckin’ gay
(music stops)
SAM (speaking)
Shit!
(music starts again)
GANDALF
Hey you fuckin’ midgets, I’m right here
Frodo’s no homo, but I be queer
MERRY
Shit, motherfucker, Gandalf is alive
Come here, Pippin, and gimme a high-five
GANDALF
I got an idea, orgy at my place
If you come early, I’ll cum on your face
PIPPIN
I’m gonna pass on that one, you dirty fuckin slut
I very much prefer to take it in the butt
ARAGORN
Holy shit it’s Gandalf! I thought that you were dead!
GANDALF
Nope I’m not, but I sure could use some head…
GOLLUM
We wants the precious, we wants the ring
Once we got that, we got the bling bling
SMEAGOL
Hey you dirty bitch, we can’t hurt master
Fuckin’ with his shit would be a disaster
GOLLUM
Fuck you slut! You’d be nowhere without me!
SMEAGOL
Yeah right bitch! Now would you please leave!
GOLLUM
No.
SMEAGOL
Yes.
GOLLUM
No.
SMEAGOL
Yes.
GOLLUM
Fuck you bitch! You know I’m the best!
SMEAGOL
Leave now and never come back!
Hey he’s gone! Check out my rack!
SARUMAN
The army draws near, gonna leave none alive
Oh shit, Gandalf DID survive
GANDALF
You damn right, biatch, and instead of being gray
I’m Gandalf the white (and I’m also still gay!)
SARUMAN
Shit you fuckin whitey! It’s over between us!
Plus, I’ll bet you anything I’ve got a bigger penis
GANDALF
Hey you dirty wigger, get out of the old guy
I got a magic spell that’s gonna make you cry
THEODEN & EOWYN (speaking)
Thanks!
THEODEN
Gotta save Rohan and the people within it
But I gotta dirty whore who’s comin’ any minute
So why don’t we just go down to Helm’s Deep
And then me and my ho can “go to sleep”
GIMLI
Shit Theo-dizzin, we ain’t got time
Plus I got a bitch who should be here at nine
GANDALF
Now we’re fighting to save Helm’s Deep
In the meantime, Merry’s fuckin’ some sheep
MERRY
Hey no I’m not, you lyin’ piece of shit
PIPPIN
Then what’s that fur hanging off your dick?
FARAMIR
What do ya know, I found some little orc spies
Those dirty little whores are really gonna die
SAM
No, sir, please! We’re from the Shire!
Also, in bed, I am on FIRE!
FARAMIR
Okay bitches, I’ll let you live
But to me the ring you must give
LEGOLAS
All my elven brothas comin’ gonna help us fight
This way we might last all the night
GIMLI
I’m a big fat midget, and I’m getting lost
Hey yo Aragorn, I need to be to tossed
ARAGORN
Alright fine, and I won’t tell the elf
He’s too busy fucking himself
TREEBEARD
I…
Am…
An…
Ent…
MERRY
You dirty fuckin tree, just go get bent
We need to go to Isengard to fight the dirty hoes
Now go with us and take off all your clothes!
PIPPIN
But they killed your friends and some got burned
If we kick their asses, they will have learned
SARUMAN
Shit motherfucker, the tree’s be movin’
And if we die, then we won’t be groovin’
THEODEN
Helm’s Deep is saved, thanks to y’all
Now who wants to come here and suck on my ball?
GIMLI
I will I will! I could use a snack
Long as you’re willing to shave my back
SAM
We gotta keep goin’
The ring’s almost gone
Just like in the stories where they keep pushin’ on
We’re gonna be the heroes
And it’ll be great
FRODO
You motherfuckin’ fatass, lose some weight!
FARAMIR
Fine you dirty figs, just get out of here
But if you wanna go, you gotta suck on my rear
SAM
Me! Me! I wanna do that now!
FARAMIR
Get the fuck away from me you fat fuckin’ cow
FRODO
Well we’re almost to Mordor, our journey will conclude
SAM
Hey Mr. Frodo, you wanna get nude?
FRODO (speaking)
No.
THE END