HaunteD~New ghost story just came up with!

[PsychoFreak]

1880~
Widower Henry Meyers moved in to the Maisones Mansion with his his two daughters, Eliza (8) and Jane (10). All was happy untill one day Eliza Ran into the forest behind the house after she witnessed Her father Hang Jane in the cellar. You see, Henry had gone mad and hung Jane, unknown to him that Eliza was watching. Henry ran into the forest looking for her, and they were bnever seen again.

But the story was told differently, it was said that a madman broke into the house and murdered jane, and Henry and Eliza had fled, lost into the woods. No one new that Henry had Killed Jane.

1934~
The house is deserted untill Mina (20) and her sister Dorothy (20) move their with their father Thomas (80), they want him to be peacful before he dies so they move there. Thats when strange things start to happen in the house, and clues are found. Its up to Mina and Dorothy to find out what really happened those fifty years ago, and to unravel the mystry of the maisiones mansion.
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So what do you think?I also have a great twist at the ending, but I dont really want to say, I guess you'll find out once I have written it...

PLease give me your thoughts, I really want to make it into a dark, old fashion, scary,scary film...:rolleyes:

Also I'd love to give it a dark, scary title, but I'm am not sure. I was thinking "THE CURSE OF THE MAISIONES MANSION", but im not sure. Help with that would be mucho appreciated.

thanks...

[psycho path]

Sounds similiar to my haunted house story "Mansion", but I like it. The houses history sounds pretty good and could make for some scary moments.

[PsychoFreak]

any one else?
:confused:

[sherimoon]

are you deliberatley using character names from other horror movies? Meyers (Halloween), Mina (Dracula)

I like when people do that. Its fun to catch little things like name sharing.
Anyway, I dont think it sounds bad. It kinda sounds like The Haunting. Maybe if you had the family all dissapear in the house and legend said that the father had slaughtered the family. The house itself could be haunted by generations of people who have lived and died in that house because of one ghost that started it all. That could be creepy. People think that the people are killing when its really the ghosts in the house. Sure, its been done before, but maybe with a new twist it could be really cool.

[rilocay]

Defiantly keep me posted on it. If you wanted too, you could take out the bit in the post about the ending, so then when its done and ppl read it they wil be all like WHOA! you know wat i mean?
But yea, cant wait to read it.