Second draft of my script is now complete

[syxxpac]

Just completed the second draft of my sci fi action/adventure flick and wondered if anybody would care to give it a look-see.

Thoughts? Opinions? Criticisms? Bashings? Appraisals? A complimentary fruit basket with a card attached with "Better luck next time, dipshit" written in bold block letters?

Whatever the case may be I'll appreciate the feedback, even the last option. But only if you pack in some bananas and peaches. And leave out any kiwi.

"For every kiwi I find, I shall kill you." :D

Thanks, my fellow filmmaking Schmoes.

[Jerk Shapiro]

Read or die schmoes, I shit you not.

[syxxpac]

No need for threats, PE.

Unless of course they offer me kiwi. I was serious about that :p

[Jaywrx]

Can you give a synopsis on what it's about?

[syxxpac]

SYNOPSIS:

In the distant future, man has perfected space travel and interstellar exploration. In the race for discovery in this bold new world, a team of explorers has stumbled across a fascinating find - a planet with a natural ecosystem that serves as an ideal staging ground for some of the most insidious biological experiments ever conceived...

[XvoorheesX]

In the distant future, man has perfected space travel and interstellar exploration. In the race for discovery in this bold new world, a team of explorers has stumbled across a fascinating find - a planet with a natural ecosystem that serves as an ideal staging ground for some of the most insidious biological experiments ever conceived...
...Then what happens? What's the conflict?Who is this story about? I know you aren't looking for a lesson in how to write a compelling synopsis, but that really doesn't give enough information.

[syxxpac]

Originally posted by XvoorheesX
...Then what happens? What's the conflict?Who is this story about? I know you aren't looking for a lesson in how to write a compelling synopsis, but that really doesn't give enough information.

I admit I can't crank out quality synopses, so I'll just answer your questions instead of revising the one above...

- Basically, the government sets up a biological research base headed up by a respected soldier by the name of Richter, who is in fact in on a plot with a top General of the U.S. military to steal the research and vacate the base before blowing it to smithereens with a stolen nuke. This way no trace of the research is left behind, and they'll be free to sell it to anybody with the highest bidding, along with four primary bioweapons that were created with a mutagenic formula developed from the venom of one of the planet's native inhabitants. An old rival of the General's initiates a spy operation under his nose and sends in a team of specialists to get the juice on what Richter's really up to. Among these special agents are two other main characters, Brett and Grisham, who must take the initiative when, due to system failure in the base, the four bioweapons escape and wreak havoc on everybody, whether "they be good, or they be bad".

See, that's what I hate about writing synopses. That's probaby way too much info :p

Oh well, it doesn't exactly give away everything, so check it out if that interests you at all.

[Cyd V]

sounds like the plot for that game dino crisis, except there's no dino's...

[Kastman]

so it's just a crisis then?

[syxxpac]

Indeed. Just not a DINO crisis.