A new idea... thoughts?

[Kastman]

Ok I came up with this idea, by mixing two half ideas i had thought up a while ago, sure it took me ages to put them together, but hey im here now.

I haven't given it great thought yet as I am writing a different script and want to keep focusedon that instead of trailing off and strating a new one. SO the idea is vague, but im asking whether you think this story is WORTH the time to make it something, or try to.

Well it's about these guys (4 of them) who deal/do drugs and are well known for it in their town. They haven't been caught by the cops (of course) and for years have given the impression that they are normal hardworking people, but by night they do large deals and what not. Anyways one guy who makes a deal with them, takes a shite load of cocaine to sell to a bunch of other guys, and says he will pay them back through the money he makes selling them (He is a great friend of theirs so they trust him, and he is good at negotiating and making deals, hence him being able to sell the drugs for more than he bys them) and as the weeks go by he doesn't deliver the money, and is always out and about, never answers calls etc..

SO they pay him a visit, threaten him (note = only 3 of the guys do the visit, one guy -the main character- doesn't partake in the violence part) and he says it's just taking time.

Eventually they had enough of him screwing them around so they pay another visit, this time bringing the main character, lets call him jack, along to tlak to the guy first. He goes in and talks to the guy, tries to get him to give the money and no one will urt him etc etc... the man tells him on the deal he was making the guys beat the shit out of him and took the drugs (he hid them in a locker, silly fool had the key on him). Jack goes outside, tells the guys what happened... they get pissed off, go in and intend to beat the man to a bloody pulp, but accidentally kill him, but not before finding out a bit of info on the guys who took the money. Just before they leave, they find a 20 something year old girl in the guys bedroom hiding. They take her with them.

So their plan is to: Find out where these guys are who took the drugs off their now dead friend (they took the body with them also), kil those guys, get their drugs and posibly some money back, and kepe the girl locked up until they find something to do with her (Jack convinces them not to kill her). SO they lock her up in the basement, Jack goes in when they arent there, and comforts her, telling her shell be okay and what not. Then one day, the other guys are going to pay a different guy a visit for not paying up, Jack stays behind, takes the girl with him and heads off. The guys head after Jack and the girl and the guys who stole their money. Jack and the girl try to survive, fall in love, and try to get out of this whole mess...

Okay so in the end it wasnt that vague, but i kept coming up with new stuff as i was writing.

So what do you think? Good idea or bad idea?

[Ronaldinho]

Why do I care about these people?

They're a bunch of drug dealers who a) beat up someone who's a little slow is selling his drugs b) kidnap a girl c) are about to hunt down and kill some other folks for purely criminal purposes.

Are there some redeeming qualities here? Why do I like these people? Why do I care about them?

Furthermore, what unique insight or voice do you have to illustrate these people with? What's going to prevent it from being another smart-talking-wise-guy tarantino knockoff film? Why are YOU uniquely qualified to write this film?

[Kastman]

You don't care about the drug dealers... well you care about Jack the main character who doesnt do the fighting and just sells stuff, s i mentioned before i havent been thinking about this too much because i don't want to get distracted from my other script. I'm planning on making him not want to be in the group, but feels he has to, or something along those lines.

btw, they hunt down those other guys because they have their drugs, and didn't pay for it.



Furthermore, what unique insight or voice do you have to illustrate these people with? What's going to prevent it from being another smart-talking-wise-guy tarantino knockoff film? Why are YOU uniquely qualified to write this film?
Well for starters I don't do the whole pop culture references, or just have them talk about normal stuff unless its necessary. And i dont know if i am uniquely qualified to write this film, but im gonna try because i like the story.

[Kastman]

Bump.... anybody else care to share their opinion? I'll give you a lifetime supply of pudding.

[Cyd V]

One of the best ways to write a script about criminals is to make your main character have some redeemable qualities. If none of your characters have that redeemable quality or a sence of retribution, the audience won't care for any of your characters. And since they won't conect or care for the characters, they won't care for the story your telling.

p.s keep the pudding...:eek:

[Captain Planet]

An acid test for your story is to see if you can condense it into three lines, and still maintain its appeal.

Right now, it is three giant paragraphs full of "they do this, they do that, then they do this..."

It's too hard to write about drug dealers/users without falling into a cliche trap. If you can find a fresh angle like in Bound or The Salton Sea, then you may have something.

[Kastman]

3 lines eh? I'll see if i can d it..

A group of drug dealers kidnap a girl after she witnesses them murder a fellow dealer who doesn't pay. One of the drug dealers falls for the girl, and tries to escape the drug dealing life with her, while the other 3 drug dealers are hot on their heels, and try to get back a large amount of drugs.

[Kastman]

Sorry, my counting kills aren't up to scratch.

[The UserName]

This idea has possibilities in my opinion. Here's what you do, everything is from the Main Character's point of view. And you only have 2 friends, not 3. So with the MC(main character)it's a 3 person crowd. Each friend has their own story that you should bring up somehow, not TOO MUCH, but bring up, to show how fucked up they are. One person lived in an orphanage, another is a druggy, and the MC is a normal guy who's only into this because he needs the dough, or out of default somehow, or maybe he once did drugs but he quit or something.

As for the guy who's a good dealer but slow with his payments, maybe he's the big druglord boss, and instead when they talk to him, instead of beating the shit out of him, he can be telling them about how he got robbed, and then die naturally? I'm just throwing out ideas here. hey can beat some other guy who doesn't pay instead. If you build up the love between the Main Character and the girl, this could be cool. That entire aprt needs to be developed more, along with the ending.

[Kastman]

Yeah thanks for the suggestions thre username. I am planning on making the love thing between them develop A LOT more, what i posted wasnt the whole thing. ANd im unsure opn the ending.

I;m liking your 3 person suggestion, that sounds a lot better.

Cheers big ears!