Need feedback on movie idea

[skrunt]

OK, so I am starting to write a comedy, which many people on this forum hav said is very difficult. To top that off my idea is a comedy about the sport of tennis, or actually involving the sport. I thought of the idea because I can not think of movies that involve the sport (except now Wimbeldon is coming out this year) and I thought it could possibly work. OK so here it is

Idea:
Childhood tennis star gets banished from the game and now looks to make it in the world stripped of the only thing he knows.

Synopsis:
A white child, Andrew, is adopted by a african-american couple, Roscoe and Harriett, although they never revealed that he was adopted till years later. Roscoe always had the dream of becoming a championship tennis player but was held back because of his race. Roscoe instills this dream into Andrew from a very young age and teaches him everything there is to know about the sport, coaching him every step of the way.

one major problem is that Roscoe focused all his attention towards tennis and so andrew was not very good at anyhting else in life. because of this he was a bit of an outsider in his age group. Andrew was picked on by all the children except for his best friend and neighbor, mary. andrew is secretly in love with mary but never had the guts to tell her.

He is a very dependent person always doing what others say rather than thinking for himself. His two loves in life were tennis and mary. his first love, tennis, almost came to a sudden stop with the death of his father. after roscoe's death Harriett and Shawn move a few towns away for financial reasons. harriett never got over the death of her husband, and so both were lost in life.

Andrew wanted to fulfill his dream of playing tennis in the name of his father. because there financial situation was not great he is forced to look to a retired drunk tennis pro with a gambling habit to be his coach. with his mother not capable of being very supportive he turns to his coach, gerald, to be is guide through life.

Andrew finally does become a tennis player, but geralds corrupt ways begin to rub off on him. While he is playing tennis he keeps in touch with mary but sees her less and less. She goes away to college and is able to make it to one of his matches. Mary brings her new boyfriend and when andrew sees this he has a breakdown. it is also about this time that andrew is informed that harriett and roscoe are not his real parents. he loses the match miserably to a considerably weaker opponent.

This loss raises many questions by the tennis officials and so they begin an investigation. in this investigation they uncover geralds gambling problem and think that the two incidents are connected. both get banned from the sport, leaving andrew with out the one thing he knows, and questioning his own identity.

we find andrew 10 years later as a drunk bum just getting by performing small jobs because of his lack of skill in anything outside of tennis. still being a dependant person he starts to get himself into trouble because he conforms to the ways of the other bums that he is around. mary is able to track him down and she goes to see him. mary begins to help andrew clean up his act. she explains to him that he needs to start thinking for himself and doing what he wants in life. andrew declares that the only thing he wants is to play tennis.

the two of them begin the long and difficult process of reinstating andrew into the sport so that he can fulfill his dream. the two spend a lot of time together and they pick up right where they left off as kids. now andrew, much older with nothing to lose, declares his love for mary. mary says that he had similar feelings for him when they were yunger but that he showed no interest. after putting up a fight with the tennis officials andrew is found clean of all allegations and is eligable for reinstatement. andrew is reinstated and inducted into the hall of fame, mary and andrew fall in love along the way



I know that there are hole, and i might have missed some things. I just wanted to get some opinions from people to see what they think and if done properly if the ywould be interested by such a film. Thanks in advance

[Beeblebrox]

I know that there are hole, and i might have missed some things.

Yeah, for one thing you forgot the comedy.

[Ronaldinho]

It's so tempting to say "read your aristotle."

One BIG problem with this idea is how much time it spans. You can do that in a novel, but film does it horribly. It's hard for me to tell when this movie starts and what's backstory, but no matter where I imagine the story starting it still goes on too long, even before the "10 years later" bit.

Try to tell a story that takes place in a short amount of time. The shorter, the better. There will be time enough for epics later. Can you tell the story aobut the most important week in this character's life? How about the most important day?

New writers attempting to write things that cover a span of years tend to have really poor causality between the scenes, and I think that's a problem here. But big time gaps really undercut the immediacy and importance of each other-- scenes don't build off each other as well if there's a month between them as they do if there's a half hour.

[yldii]

I agree with Beeblebrox.

I don't see the comedic jist of the story. Not that you can't make it funny though. But as far as your Synopsis goes it needs to jump out and make the reader say DAMN! That would make a funny movie. So keep working on it and try to make us see what you see.

Good luck.

[QTFan1989]

I am reminded of a steve martin movie, the jerk. he is adopted by african americans, they dont tell him, and eventually, he becomes a bum. that was a funny movie, but i dont see this being a comedy. it would be a good drama though. maybe even a dramedy. (drama/comedy)