X-Nightcrawler
06-02-2004, 04:05 AM
No, this is not a review . . . nessesarily.
Okay, I just lost about two hours watching this and I actually feel like ranting. I never rant!! Watching this was an odyssey. After the absolute teen comedy classics "American Pie" (8.5/10) and "American Pie 2" (9/10), they decide to throw another at us. Take the film to another route, write a different screenplay and bring all the characters we love back. So, when I noticed that half the cast was gone (that's right, no Oz, no Nadia, no Vic, no Jessica, no Heather) I knew that there was a reason for it.
The opening scene was okay although too derivative (remember the openings in both previous AP movies?) and didn't make me laugh much ("Haha . . . a boner!"). But . . . did you hear the bad news? Stifler, the best and coolest character in the American Pie movies died between Aperican Pie 2 and American Pie 3!! What? Well, the guy calling himself Stifler here is not the same as the Stifler in the previews movies. This guy is a fucking annoying half assed idiot. I actually (actually) said "I don't want this guy to appear again". What the fuck with that!? I love this guy? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!?!?
All the characters that did return don't grow for shit and Kevin talks I think . . . ten lines. Jim's dad [a riot in the other movies] still does his "father" talks but . . . they are so not funny anymore. Nothing else is! The movie is derivative as fuck and didn't bring anything else to this series . . . ZERO. Oh wait right, Stifler goes 'nice' for a moment because he screws up. This was so cheaply handled that I didn't buy it for a second. The gross out comes almost out of nowhere. Stifler eats shit (literally), Jim shaves his balls (I didn't get why, I thought he was doubious on the subject and Stifler said "No") and it all flows like crap. There is a point where Stifler calls Finch "a motherfucker" . . . cheaply written scene and you'll probably agree. And what's the thing with that gay bar scene?! There is actually A DANCE-OFF between Stifler (who dances) and a gay dude I didn't care about. Teens that felt like ACTING like teens and more poorly written side-characters.
Add some eye-candying new character by the name of Cadence, some delicious looking boobies to the mix to make it even slightly enjoyable but failing (sorry . . . boobs are boobs but I started loosing interest . . . that scene ran for too goddamn long!). I didn't laugh more than two smalls coughs of laughter in this horrible jamboree of stupid jokes with lots of foul mouthing so I ask the people. WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO THIS SERIES!?!?
Titties, some chuckling laughs ("To the next step"), final frames that finally became redundant (Uh-oh . . . "She" is here!) and that's about fucking it. Horrible horrible way to flatline an otherwise classic series. 2/10.
Okay, I just lost about two hours watching this and I actually feel like ranting. I never rant!! Watching this was an odyssey. After the absolute teen comedy classics "American Pie" (8.5/10) and "American Pie 2" (9/10), they decide to throw another at us. Take the film to another route, write a different screenplay and bring all the characters we love back. So, when I noticed that half the cast was gone (that's right, no Oz, no Nadia, no Vic, no Jessica, no Heather) I knew that there was a reason for it.
The opening scene was okay although too derivative (remember the openings in both previous AP movies?) and didn't make me laugh much ("Haha . . . a boner!"). But . . . did you hear the bad news? Stifler, the best and coolest character in the American Pie movies died between Aperican Pie 2 and American Pie 3!! What? Well, the guy calling himself Stifler here is not the same as the Stifler in the previews movies. This guy is a fucking annoying half assed idiot. I actually (actually) said "I don't want this guy to appear again". What the fuck with that!? I love this guy? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!?!?
All the characters that did return don't grow for shit and Kevin talks I think . . . ten lines. Jim's dad [a riot in the other movies] still does his "father" talks but . . . they are so not funny anymore. Nothing else is! The movie is derivative as fuck and didn't bring anything else to this series . . . ZERO. Oh wait right, Stifler goes 'nice' for a moment because he screws up. This was so cheaply handled that I didn't buy it for a second. The gross out comes almost out of nowhere. Stifler eats shit (literally), Jim shaves his balls (I didn't get why, I thought he was doubious on the subject and Stifler said "No") and it all flows like crap. There is a point where Stifler calls Finch "a motherfucker" . . . cheaply written scene and you'll probably agree. And what's the thing with that gay bar scene?! There is actually A DANCE-OFF between Stifler (who dances) and a gay dude I didn't care about. Teens that felt like ACTING like teens and more poorly written side-characters.
Add some eye-candying new character by the name of Cadence, some delicious looking boobies to the mix to make it even slightly enjoyable but failing (sorry . . . boobs are boobs but I started loosing interest . . . that scene ran for too goddamn long!). I didn't laugh more than two smalls coughs of laughter in this horrible jamboree of stupid jokes with lots of foul mouthing so I ask the people. WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO THIS SERIES!?!?
Titties, some chuckling laughs ("To the next step"), final frames that finally became redundant (Uh-oh . . . "She" is here!) and that's about fucking it. Horrible horrible way to flatline an otherwise classic series. 2/10.