Vampire movies can go suck a fuck.

[X-Nightcrawler]

. . . and it's trivial to add "Except Underworld" . . . right?

Okay, with my "Bubble Boy" thread in the General Board, I'm on a revelation spree so here goes this one that will guarantee some backtalking from you schmoes. :)

I've been watching a lot of vampire movies recently, mostly the "classics". Here are the ones I watched: "Fright Night", "Vampires", "Queen of the Damned", "Buffy: The Vampire slayer" (the movie) and some more (I know I'm missing "Lost Boys" and "Near Dark" but hold on). I just realized how very not interested I am in vampires.

Well, here is the deal: to my eyes, there are three+ kinds of vampires in movies:

a) Suave vampires. 2.5% of the movie vamp population. (Examples: Uh . . . maybe Jerry in "Fright Night" oh and Frost in "Blade").
a.2) Suave vampires that are likeable. 2.5% of the movie vamp population. Lestat, Louis, the cast in "Interview With The Vampire" and Dracula in Coppola's movie.

b) Annoying vampires. 55% of the movie vamp population. (Examples: Evil fucking Ed from "Fright night" and every vampire in that "Buffy" movie).

c) Vampires that just "stand there doing nothing and drinking wine". Wich take the 40% of the movie vamp population. (the rest . . . Underworld, Blade movies, every single vamp elder that has appeared in vampire movies);

When it's the case of A, I dig the character . . . a LOT. The issue is that they are very rare. That's why "Interview With The Vampire" and "Dracula" are the only vamp movie I really like. The problem is B. Every single fucking teen vampire movie gets on my nerves. I cannot stand ot when vampires laugh like maniacs (refer to Evil Ed). C is another issue. This is so damned common, they are everywhere in the movies they appear (being underdeveloped and source for gore but that's beside the point). They don't do anything!!

I know I'm not making much sense but It's late and I'm pissed at them cheesy vamp movies. So that's my litte rant. I decided that I might skip every single vampire movie that doesn't feature likeable vampires (like those in "IWTV") because they just bore me and don't interest me.

Oh and for the record, this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm the biggest werewolf fan (I've only disliked about 3 or 4 werewolf movies I've seen) and my favorite movie is "Underworld". :D

*paints bullseye in forehead* Shoot away schmoes!

[IamNoOne666]

Acually I'm going to have to agree with you on this one, I'm not a huge fan of vampire movies, I coul list them all if I had too. One thing we disagree on is Underworld, I found incredibly boring.

[adamjohnson]

I too enjoy the more 'classic' vampires, from the likes of Nosferatu to Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Theres been a recent trend I can see. With the onset of a 'goth' culture members of this society find themselves associating with vampires because they are outcast, and alone, just as they see vampires. So they emulate them in a way they see fit, IE wear black, lots of white makeup, act broodish. And, in turn, the movies/culture emulate them right back, making the movies of modern times just like this. (The kind of which I hate the most)

Theres also the ass-kicking vampire, ala Blade. This is all well and good, and works fine because there are different genres in movie culture. I like Frost and Blade, and I like Buffyverse, but it wouldnt work in a movie like Interview.

The 'suave' vamps, as you put it so eloquently, I liek quite alot too. Although I might not call it that. Theyre not so much suave as they are cocky, arrogant, narcissistic. They have no fear about anything, which is what makes them seem in control of everything, giving the illusion of the 'ladies man' etc. Which ii show I feel a vampire WOULD act. I mean, how would you if you couldnt die?

But, of course, its still a reflection of the times. The Frost character and the Jerry Dandridge character are completely different because the world they live in, and the times they were produced, are different. Frost borders on that crappy 'stand around with wine vamp' but doesnt because Frost himself is active, not reactive. The vampires that surround him ARE fairly reactive. Watch Blade 2, which I hated, because it made all the vampires seem like broodish, bratty teenagers, dancing around in a nightclub, like theyre so tortured or something. Again, because the times are always evolving.

I plan on wriuting a vampire/noir as some of you know, set in the fifties. SO im currently doing research to find what kinds of vampires were depicted in movies at that time, if any. And what kind of vamp would appear in a noir, had there ever been one (I still assume there hasnt been a vamp/noir yet, observations from research). I can tell you right now my main source of research is Nosferatu, back to the basics. Theyre quiet. They dont brood, in fact, Im sure most LIKE being vamps. Theyre evil, SCARY, (for a change). And manipulative, like Satan might be (who vampires were often compared to in the old days). Theyre strong, but they cant leap tall buildings in a single bound. Driven by bloodlust, but also by something actually INTERESTING. I mean, hes been alive forever, he;s been bored for a while, and at the time of the movie hes found something to do (fuck with this detective).

Anyway, Im ranting. The point is, back to the basics! Vampires have lost their mythology because of the times. Back when they were thought of as Satan, or just demons, etc they were much more interesting than these stupid teen vamps who like to wear black and white face makeup.

I think this about covers it all though.

[Mog]

Agreed! Vampires have really sucked wang in the past decade or so. The only vampire movie that I've really come to love is Blade, because I like how they are depicted. They have style, and if you ask me...they are sort of an updated version of the classics, except for that whole Satan part. In Blade they're just freaks of nature, less mythology more science. But anywho, I feel vampires need to get back to their roots, and writers/directors need to at least attempt to make them scary again, not a bunch of comic book super villains. And as much as everyone might disagree, I think Dracula 2000 did a pretty good job of this. Their (the filmmakers) only problem to me is that they kinda held back...they didn't make it as grand as most Dracula movies are, and it seemed more "urban" if that makes any sense. But I liked the vampires in that movie, and I liked Dracula. Those're some elements to a good vampire movie.



If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion really was there it would've been like Woodstock,
Mog

[jagged halo]

Salem's Lot sported a band of genuinely creepy vampires, they certainly didn't annoy me. I get the feeling this thread was designed for therapeutic purposes only:D

[Tagia_Romero]

*Leans against wall, watching the conversation hold sway*

I agree.

Why?

Most film makers are under the impression that there is a rule for the vampire/vampiress/vampire like creature such as temperment, strengths, weaknesses, techniques and the like. While these guidelines do provide A source of foundation, what must be realised is that the 'successful' vampire films are born through the imagination of the film maker, using their own lore and limitations. What has happened lately is that most vampires (I stress MOST) are all seen as the slick/seductive/romantic/beautiful type.

Nothing wrong with sexing it up.

HOWEVER.

People want to see things different. And in cases a new 'breed' of vampire has appeared. You have Count Orlok of 'Nosferatu'. Ugly, imposing, mysterious, yet at the same time, frail in the mind when it comes to blood. Then there is Valek of 'JC's Vampires'. YES, fuck yes he is gorgeous, but he doesn't go out of his way to impress the humans. What he does is kill, kill, kill because he has to (and on yes, WANTS to, whether he is hungry or not). Then you have Alucard (yes, it was inevitable). While he is who some may think he is, he hardly desires going out and fucking who or whatever comes into his path (although in my point of view, he could very well do it if he wanted to). Some would call him sexy, which he is in a dark, wicked, twisted way, but it's his dark, otherwordly sorcery that is the kicker. He kills because he likes to kill, it is what he does. Being immortal is bound to make one bored ya know. *In fact, all of the vampires in 'Hellsing' are very different. How? Well you will have to watch the series in order to see my point or else visit the fansites around the Net*.

Yes, I know those examples were few, but what I was trying to get at was that not all vampires can be truly labled in the categories that Nightcrawler had listed.

Throughout history, we all know that there is various instances of vampires and vampirisim around. Some cultures have the creatures not actually BITE their victims or tear them apart, but rather embrace them in order to withdraw their victim's life force. It's true! And those who do bite, such as the Vetala vampire from the Swahili culture only bite the TOES of their victims and not the neck at all.

Weaknesses:

Garlic, sunlight, wolfsbane, stake, silver, holy water, the words of the Bible. All viable, depends on what vampires are being dealt with. Different breeds have their own little banes. In some cultures, there is obsession-compulsion, asking consent of their victims (I'm not joking kids), not being able to walk in a twisted line, running water (Holy or not). I am not saying that is ALL of the things that vampires can't stand, once again, just a few examples.

Strengths:

Super-human speed, telepathy, telekenisis, hypnosis, charm, glamour, weather and animal control... as above, all viable, depending on what the author/film maker= creator comes up with. I don't need to go into detail about the other strengths vampires and the like could have, do I?

Final verdict:

I will always watch every vampire film once, just to find merit or else just to have a good laugh, but I refuse to see films that follow the same sort of proceedure in huge waves. That is why I like to go for the underground sort of films because they always hold a variety of surprises. What I want from those who wish to create another vampire machine is TO BE ORIGINAL and have fun and not rely heavily on the already present 'foundations'.

[countchocula]

I'm not fond of debonair vampires such as the ones found in Underworld and Queen of the Damned. I like savage, bloodthirsty monsters, abnormalities that prefer to creep in the shadows. Nightcrawler, look into Nosferatu (both versions) and The Night Flier. They're sure to palpate your interest in the bloodsucker subgenre.

[captainjesus]

Originally posted by jagged halo
Salem's Lot sported a band of genuinely creepy vampires, they certainly didn't annoy me. I get the feeling this thread was designed for therapeutic purposes only:D

speaking of which, TNT just aired their 4 hour remake of Salem's Lot. it wasnt too bad. i did stray a lil from the book, but most of the ways that it did were forgivable, and 1 in particular was kinda cool in my opinion. AND THANK GOD THE MAIN VAMPIRE WASNT PURPLE!:D


i also am not a fan of the debinare vampire. i just think that its cliche and in most cases, pretty stupid (sorry X, but i hated Underworld). i would love to see a movie with more feral vampires, like the ones in JC: Vampires (accept for the master vampires). hmmmmmm me thinks i may just write one and stop bitching about it......

____
poo

[ComeNightfall]

Do any of you think that modern vampire movies have their bloodsuckers more goth and sexy to attract more females to the theater? I'm a female horror fan and I enjoy vampire movies but there are times when I don't want to see debonair, full of themselves vamps slithering around, debating whether to kill or not. I guess it just depends on the movie.

Another reason might be since MTV came out and mostly everything is now looks over content, many in this generation don't want to see their vampires looking like Nosferatu.

[Tagia_Romero]

Originally posted by ComeNightfall
Another reason might be since MTV came out and mostly everything is now looks over content, many in this generation don't want to see their vampires looking like Nosferatu. [/B]

Personally, I would love to see more rat faces. They earn a reaction from an audience. Go the rat pasty face!

[LoomisFan]

X, as a giant fan of vampire films, myself, I have to say that I only disagree with you on one thing: Deacon Frost being suave. All the bastard ever was "eff this" and "eff that" and "your effing species" (like my editing?). While he was a kickass villain (in my opinion, one of the most badass in comic book movie history), he was, by no means, suave.
Oh, yeah. By the way, I felt that Underworld was almost completely devoid of any cool vampires (I have yet to see the extended edition). Before you shoot me in the face, let me say that I still LOVE Underworld. It's one of my top films of 2003, and I am eagerly anticipating Underworld 2.

[ParileseMonster]

I like Radu from Subspecies because he is not the usual handsome and sexy vampire. He is fucking gross looking with blood always all over his mouth and no chick wants to be with him but the dude sure is persistent. I have nothing against the attractive vampire guys but it just seems so fake for them to be so pretty all the time.

[C-Desecration-]

Loomisfan, I'm with you. I loved Frost.

But the whole superiority complex these new-age vamps have isn't too surprising. I mean, they're humans, and they live forever. So of course they are going to think they're better than everyone else, of course they are going to be intelligent and arrogant, kind of like cool, sexy, interesting versions of me.
If they were portrayed as beasts they'd really have to look completely different than they do. If they have our intellect, obviously they will believe themselves superior to humans, because that's what humans do--we use our self-proclaimed uniqueness to make ourselves better than others (damn society!). So if we want the viscious vamps, better go for a look-change. They couldn't look as human as they do now, nor be as smart.

[jaw2929]

Best Vampire/Dracula EVER would haveta be Gerard Butler in Dracula 2000... Awesome fuckin Drac ;)

[adamjohnson]

Originally posted by Trail_Blazer
Best Vampire/Dracula EVER would haveta be Gerard Butler in Dracula 2000... Awesome fuckin Drac ;)

Yeah its very underrated, his character, the movie was kinda dumb.

He played it well, a little too much of the "younger" Dracula for my tastes, but still good. As opposed to some I actually liked the Judas thing on first viewing, it just made sense.

Also really liked how they used the vamp's non-reflection as both a weakness and a strength in the movie.

[Pestilence]

Vampires REALLY need to be made scary again.

X is right...when you think about it, there are precious few modern vampire films which are any good at all....I for one cannot stand Anne Rice and I blame most of what has happened to Vampires on her....most of them are either now eloquent-living "beautiful" people who sit around in old-style grand clothing and drink wine, or they're whiney bastards who do nothing but lament their own existance.

The character of Louis in "Interview...." grates on me so much that I can't even watch the film...and the less said about "Queen of the Damned" the better.

Looking at films like John Carpenter's "Vampires", Leif Jonker's "Darkness", and even the character of the mafia boss in "Innocent Blood" you can see where they got it right. These vamps KNOW that they're a hundred times stronger than any human, and by God they'll have fun with it. not sit around fucking crying about it.

I wrote a vampire movie a couple of years ago called "Reckoning" which basically stripped the vampires down to nothing more than bloodthirsty creatures....essentially Terminators with fangs and a desire to spread you all over the nearest wall - the way I think it should be.

[TheDeadWalk]

The lost boys kicked ass mo fo's.

That and the Blade series are the only memorable Vamp movies I've seen in my time that I cared for.

[X-Nightcrawler]

*gets nervous*

I . . . I d-did a good thread?! Well how do you like that?

Oh and LoomisFan, I agree. Although I found Selene UBER cool, Viktor/Kraven cool and Erika hot . . . I felt Underworld needed cool vamps.

[LoomisFan]

Originally posted by X-Nightcrawler
Oh and LoomisFan, I agree. Although I found Selene UBER cool, Viktor/Kraven cool and Erika hot . . . I felt Underworld needed cool vamps.
Thank god. I thought that was gonna piss you off!

[X-Nightcrawler]

Originally posted by LoomisFan
Thank god. I thought that was gonna piss you off! I don't bite, you are allowed to disagree. ;)

[LoomisFan]

Does anime count with this thread? If so, Alucard from Hellsing, Saya from Blood: The Last Vampire, and D from Vampire Hunter D spring to mind as being pretty cool (though I liked D and Alucard more than Saya). Then again, Hellsing was a show, not a movie...

As for vampire movies that suck... Wow, I don't think I've seen one (keep in mind that I love vampire stories almost as much as X loves werewolves).

Can anybody recommend a BAD vampire flick for me?

[X-Nightcrawler]

Anime does count. So I forgot Shido and Cain from NightWalker. Those were AWESOME vampires. And listen to who is saying. Still, I need to see more vamp anime. There's a werewolf in Vampire Hunted D: Bloodlust right? *goes get it*

Actually, I need to know. They have both Vamp Hunter D DVDs in the store and when I bought End of Evangelion, I was considering it so . . . must I buy both? because I'm more interested in Bloodlust.

[A.J. Hakari]

How exactly does one suck a fuck?

:p

I'm in something of an agreement, that vampires have gradually become more cliched and lost the scariness that fueled the villains in DRACULA and THE NIGHT STALKER. At the moment, I'm writing my own vampire script that will bring some darker, more desolate elements to the subgenre.

[Klownzilla]

Underworld features the most boring bunch of suckers I've ever seen.

Over the past few days, I've been thinking about vampire types, too, but in a different way. I guess it's their nature or origin.

1. Demonic-Just about every God-fearing vampire can be classified here. Superhuman strength, sunlight-allergic, no reflections in mirrors. This is definitely the most used and it's my favorite type. Most people already know what vampire movies can go here (Dracula, Fright Night, Lost Boys, Salem's Lot, From Dusk til Dawn, etc, etc, etc).

2. Genetic-The more scientific earth-based bloodsuckers that have no connections to hell. Blade and Underworld are probably the best examples.

3. Alien-Matilda May from Lifeforce belongs here. I don't see too much of this species around. I know there's some flicks from the 60's which use these creatures.

I'm not sure where to put the Near Dark vampires. Just about the only thing they have after immortality is their superhuman strength.

[LoomisFan]

Originally posted by X-Nightcrawler
Actually, I need to know. They have both Vamp Hunter D DVDs in the store and when I bought End of Evangelion, I was considering it so . . . must I buy both? because I'm more interested in Bloodlust.
I think Bloodlust is better. All ya got to do is know the plot of the first. Bloodlust is a great flick.

If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion really was there it would've been like Woodstock
Who else misses Spike?...

[Luke-Abbott]

Originally posted by LoomisFan
Can anybody recommend a BAD vampire flick for me?

I recommend Underworld, the trailers seemed to be "pro-vampire" but in reality, when viewing the movie its actually "anti-vampire" example: 1) I don't recall seeing a single Vampire bite in the movie except the ending and 2) All the vampires were a bunch of rich snobes and nothing more, they were all "werewolf fodder".
Underworld is a perfect example of what a vampire shouldn't be like.

With films like Blade, The Lost Boys and Interview With The Vampire (to name a few), the Vampires in those movies loved nothing more but to drink the blood of the living. These things are immortal and should have a blast with it.

Now that I've finished my little rant on Underworld (;)), I will agree with most schomes here that most vampire movies latley have sucked (no pun intended). I doubt there will be one that can scare people, because these days its quite hard to scare anyone while watching a movie. The only vampire movies I've seen and enjoyed are:

Blood: The Last Vampire
Blade 1 and 2
Interview With The Vampire
Bram Stockers Dracula

There are some I haven't seen yet (Near Dark and Vampire Hunter D) but I'm hoping to get around to watching them. For now the only upcoming vampire movie I'm excited about is Blade 3, those films have yet to disappoint me and I hope it stays that way.

[Juice]

Originally posted by Luke-Abbott
I recommend Underworld, the trailers seemed to be "pro-vampire" but in reality, when viewing the movie its actually "anti-vampire" example: 1) I don't recall seeing a single Vampire bite in the movie except the ending and 2) All the vampires were a bunch of rich snobes and nothing more, they were all "werewolf fodder".
Underworld is a perfect example of what a vampire shouldn't be like.

It's just a perfect example of what NO movie should be like.

these days its quite hard to scare anyone while watching a movie.

It's always been quite hard... but there are still enough movies that scare the shit out of me.

[LoomisFan]

Oh, I also forgot to mention, it's been about a year since I've watched Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, but I don't remember a werewolf in it (though there's some wicked shadow action...you'll see).

[adamjohnson]

And some STRANGE shower action, if i recall correctly.

[X-Nightcrawler]

Originally posted by LoomisFan
Oh, I also forgot to mention, it's been about a year since I've watched Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, but I don't remember a werewolf in it (though there's some wicked shadow action...you'll see). Isn't this guy from D: Bloodlust?

If not, tell me 'cause this badass is the main reason I'm interested in these.

[Dead Halloween]

Originally posted by X-Nightcrawler
Isn't this guy from D: Bloodlust?

If not, tell me 'cause this badass is the main reason I'm interested in these.

Yes, he's in the movie.

By the way, anyone seen "Vampires in La Habana"?:D

[Scythemantis]

Throughout history, we all know that there is various instances of vampires and vampirisim around. Some cultures have the creatures not actually BITE their victims or tear them apart, but rather embrace them in order to withdraw their victim's life force. It's true! And those who do bite, such as the Vetala vampire from the Swahili culture only bite the TOES of their victims and not the neck at all.

And we mustn't forget the wide and wild array of forms that vampires take on, esspecially in Malaysia, where they have the tiny, parasitic, madness-inducing Polong & Pelesit (they must act as a pair, of course. One is a humanoid and one is an insect), the ghoulish birdlike Aswang with its unbelievably long draining tongue, and the revolting Penanggalan, of which I am quite the fan, it being a floating female head with "tentacles" of trailing intestines that feeds mainly on babies....even before they're born.
:D

Though I forget exactly what culture it originates from, the "Upier" is a VERY cool vampire. Feeds through its razor sharp tongue, has power over insects and other small animals, and always sleeps in a pool or vat of blood.

[Inglorious]

Vampire Movies I Enjoy (and have seen):

The Lost Boys
Interview With The Vampire
Underworld (for lack of better classification)
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Blade II

Vampire Movies I Have Not Seen (but have in my bedroom):

Fright Night

Vampire Movies I Care Less About Seeing:

Near Dark
Vampires

And... Vampire Movies Disliked:

Queen Of The Damned
Buffy The Vampire Slayer (the movie)
Blade

So there you have it, I LIKE VAMPIRES! You have some points X, but they really have no logic as to why a person would dislike vampires... ;)

[thebloodfeaster]

Like many others I get sick of seeing vampires in movies just sit there and look gothed out like in Underworld. I just think how bored they must be whenever it shows the entrance hall to their mansion and everyone is just gothically posed with their wine glasses.

Somebody really needs to make a good epic Necroscope series of movies. There are some really nasty and badass vampires in there.

[Tagia_Romero]

Originally posted by Scythemantis
And we mustn't forget the wide and wild array of forms that vampires take on, esspecially in Malaysia, where they have the tiny, parasitic, madness-inducing Polong & Pelesit (they must act as a pair, of course. One is a humanoid and one is an insect), the ghoulish birdlike Aswang with its unbelievably long draining tongue, and the revolting Penanggalan, of which I am quite the fan, it being a floating female head with "tentacles" of trailing intestines that feeds mainly on babies....even before they're born.
:D

Though I forget exactly what culture it originates from, the "Upier" is a VERY cool vampire. Feeds through its razor sharp tongue, has power over insects and other small animals, and always sleeps in a pool or vat of blood.

*Click click* Thatsa right! You've done some research I see. Well done mon ami!

[rilocay]

AHhh, i think a great vampire is Arucard from Hellsing.
He has that 'suave' thing going on, but he can go very 'demonic' psycho too. He knows very well that he is a vampire and very well what he can do. The better of both worlds i guess. He aint no pussy, but he will draw tension because he wants to for fun. Very cool indeed.

[Scythemantis]

Originally posted by Tagia_Romero
*Click click* Thatsa right! You've done some research I see. Well done mon ami!

Oh yes, I'm a mythomologicamal creature supernerd. A handful of malaysian movies have featured the penanggalan and others (I have yet to see any of them. I understand it has laser eyes in one) but I've always wondered how awesome it'd be to see a high-budget western movie involving a vampire hunter taking on a whole menagerie of real-world mythology's most horrific ghouls...

[LoomisFan]

Originally posted by adamjohnson
And some STRANGE shower action, if i recall correctly.
I don't think so...
Was that in the first? I only saw about half of that one...

[Richard Stuart]

X-Nightcrawler: I don't know if you've seen much in the way of old gothic British horror, but maybe you'd appreciate some of the Hammer vampire films such as The Vampire Lovers, Twins of Evil, Lust for a Vampire, the various Dracula films with Christopher Lee, etc.

[Homicidal4Life]

I have to disagree with what people consider "classics". Although I love Near Dark and Fright Night (and I hate the mega-overrated Lost Boys) I'm more keen to the classic vampire movies, from Nosferatu to Bela Lugosi's Dracula to Dreyer's Vampyr to everything Hammer put out. And those vampires kick mayor ass

[martyds761]

Originally posted by LoomisFan


Can anybody recommend a BAD vampire flick for me? I can. Club Vampire It sucks, and not in a good way.

As for the topic, I'm a vamp fan and I think everyone knows it. The movies that were mentioned, I loved damn near all of them. I for one would like to see "suave" vampires use it to get what they want and create fear. i.e. Bram Stoker's Dracula.

The new "goth" type vamps are fine w/ me. Love the dark clothes/leather, but the "classy" (Lestat) are very intriguing to me. I loved the way they manipulate people.

As everyone knows, especially X, I love the vamps from Hamilton's books. They're always "suave and sexy", but some are very creepy. Three in particular. "Rotting Vamps". Yuck.

Anyway, I'll always be a vampire fan. Lycanthropes next, then Witches. Everything else after those three.

[LoomisFan]

X, you mentioned Nightwalker. I've seen it in the store. Is it worth a look?

[X-Nightcrawler]

Originally posted by LoomisFan
X, you mentioned Nightwalker. I've seen it in the store. Is it worth a look? If you don't mind horrid animation/drawings in the first few episodes, it's very much worth it. Look at my thread, I wouldn't reccomend much vampire stuff would I? ;)

But if it's not too costy, go right ahead, you might really like it. I know I did . . . in fact, .Here's my review (http://www.joblo.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=1392411#post1392411) of the series