Who's the Douche that decided to sell CHIPS at the theater?!

[jackson13]

Last night (yesterday afternoon actually) I finally went to see Farenheit 9/11, since it was sold out here last week. I'm sitting in my seat as the movie starts, listening to Moore's overvoice while looking at such political figures as Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice and Mr. Bush himself on screen getting makeup done before going live on national televison when, from my rear right, I hear:

CRUNCH!

then silence. then a few seconds later:

CRUNCH!

then I realized what the sound was: some ass behind me was shoveling potato chips in his mout, one by one, the entire chip at a time. Just cramming the whole thing in his mouth then chomping his mouth shut, thus crunching the chip as loud as possible. I mean it was literally like being in the scene in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 where Ralph asks Mikey if he could possibly crunch any louder and Mikey does. I was thinking it was some punk kid who got drug along to the movie with his parents but when I turned around to deliver my dirty "dont fucking piss me off you jackass" look to him I see that its a guy in his mid-40's sitting with his friend of the same age. A full grown man chomping potato chips like a little kid! It didnt bother his friend at all, but I, along with others in front of me kept turning around flashing him looks like "if you chomp another chip your gonna end up eating the rest of the bag out of your ass, because thats where they will be relocated."

As I sat there and tried to listen to the movie over the constant chomping of chips, it hit me, who is the stupid douche who made the decision to sell one of the loudest (when being eaten) foods on earth at a place that is reserved for quietness and courtesy (supposed to be that is)? I mean, what went through that persons head that day?


Idea Douche: "Hmm, we already make a killing with concessions. You know what we need? We need to take another food product, jack up the price insanely like always and sell it along with our other overpriced concessions. Now, what could we sell? *ponders*....I GOT IT! POTATO CHIPS! Thats exactly what we need! They are cheap, so we could make a hell of a profit! They are irresistable to most people, so of course they will buy them! And best of all, THEY ARE ANNOYING AS HELL WHEN OTHERS EAT THEM! I'm gonna be the douche that I am and get in contact with Frito-Lay right now, because the sooner we annoy yet even more movie-goers, the happier I will be!"

Stupid douche!

[Jon Lyrik]

Originally posted by jackson13
Idea Douche: "Hmm, we already make a killing with concessions. You know what we need? We need to take another food product, jack up the price insanely like always and sell it along with our other overpriced concessions. Now, what could we sell? *ponders*....I GOT IT! POTATO CHIPS! Thats exactly what we need! They are cheap, so we could make a hell of a profit! They are irresistable to most people, so of course they will buy them! And best of all, THEY ARE ANNOYING AS HELL WHEN OTHERS EAT THEM! I'm gonna be the douche that I am and get in contact with Frito-Lay right now, because the sooner we annoy yet even more movie-goers, the happier I will be!"

Stupid douche!

http://clear.msu.edu:16080/dennie/clipart/laugh.gif

Man, I agree. It's annoying as hell when people stuff their fat mouths with junk food and CRUNCH as loud as possible. Do they look at the concesison stand at go "Hmm...what food when crunched loudly enough will annoy the piss out of everyone? Chips, that's what!"

[Jyrka]

Is it just me or pop-corn is almost as bad? Every time when I sit there when the movie is about to start I can hear a huge *crunch-crunch*. It seems to calm down as the movie goes on - either I'm consentaring on the film or the little fuckers with greasy hands have run out of pop-corn. Anyway pop-corn is quite a loud food and shouldn't be sold in cinemas. Who the hell decided that it's cinema-food anyhoo?

[BorderEevilIII]

Concession stands at arthouse theaters sometimes sells stuff normally not seen at AMC, Loews & Century. The only exception is nachos. As for chips I have not seen personally and the Landmark Chain which I haven't been at in awhile. I would'nt be suprised if they had chips stocked awaiting to be bought. Other than that the dude may have snuck it in...........

[Grim H.]

jackson, you are still the king of rants...

Great Ninja Turtles reference, by the way :D

[Jerk Shapiro]

Yeah, but my main rant is:


Who's the douche who decided to make concessions do damn pricey?

I just sneak stuff in now. It's not even worth it to me.


Oh, and, my theater still doesn't sell chips. But, wait, we'll come around.

[Grim H.]

Originally posted by Jerk Shapiro



Who's the douche who decided to make concessions do damn pricey?



I blame James Cameron. Everything was fine until he had to start the "uber-expensive box-office action blockbuster" movies, starting with T2 (nothing against the film). But after that, Hollywood started demanding more and more money, to help pay for the film...and they demanded higher percentages from the box-office..so not only did ticket prices skyrocket, but so did Concession items, because now theaters have to rely on that for most of their income...

Then Cameron made Titanic...ugh.

[sharkstank]

we've had this problem since nachos. horrible indeed

WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[KcMsterpce]

Originally posted by Jerk Shapiro
Yeah, but my main rant is:


Who's the douche who decided to make concessions so damn pricey?

You can attribute that to "The Man". That douche is bringin' us down, man!

Theaters don't make much money off of the movie tickets; the REAL money is from the concession stands. That's why prices are so jacked up; the theaters want that money! :)

[Twisted Sister]

http://www.normsradio.com/userimages/articles/laugh.gif

Great rant. I HATE, bloody HATE, loud food in theaters, and that includes loud bullshitty cellophane wrappers too!

*crinkle*crunch*crinkle*crunch*

Grrrrr, makes my hair stand up just thinking about it.

There is a sushi place right next door to the theater I frequent, and that is now my choice of movie food when I'm out.

[electriclite]

who is the stupid douche who made the decision to sell one of the loudest (when being eaten) foods on earth at a place that is reserved for quietness and courtesy (supposed to be that is)? I mean, what went through that persons head that day




Maybe Rush Limbaugh gave him the chips? ;)

[Mog]

I eat nachos every time I go to the theater. And I must say, if someone is peeved about something as stupid as this you could always ask nicely. When I have my nachos, I crunch. And I crunch loud. There's two ways to avoid being annoyed and someday suffering an anyeurism.

1. Ask the person politely (with a smile) to please stop crunching so loud.

2. Move.

3. If you're in a crowded theater, please refer to #1.

If the person gives you lip, I've said this before and I'll say it again. Tell on their ass, and they will either be kicked out of the theater, their contraband confiscated, or maybe...just maybe they'll decide to eat quietly. You'd be surprised at how seriously some movie theaters treat noisy customers.

[outsyder]

Oh, I get it. I thought it was about these guys at first glance:

http://www.erikestrada.com/the-chips-crew.jpg


I know I'd be pissed if they were being sold at the theatre.:)

[Common Sense Man]

As with everything in the entertainment industry it is about the MONEY.

Popcorn, soda and chips are cheap as hell. So selling them at a 300 percent mark up makes money.

Theaters don't make much if any money off the tickets especially after they make payroll and expenses.

The profit is off the concession stand. So anything that is cheap to buy and can be sold at a high price will be there.

It will only get worse as fewer people go to the movies.

Out..................................

[Twisted Sister]

Originally posted by outsyder
Oh, I get it. I thought it was about these guys at first glance:

http://www.erikestrada.com/the-chips-crew.jpg


I know I'd be pissed if they were being sold at the theatre.:)

Jesus Tap Dancing Christ, I just spit my coffee out. Good stuff!:D

[Heavenley]

Yup, someone crunching food can be VERY VERY annoying, especially when you paid good money to see a film.

Last time I went to the movies, someone bought something to eat that SMELLED so bad I almost puked. It was some kind of a taco that smelled like S**T.......they also took their sweet time eating it. :mad:

[thedudeman69]

I hate chips in movies, that is like so unatural and I hate people that just put the whole fucking chip in their mouth and swallow without chewing it and if they happen to choke on it, I wouldn't help them.:D

[Zebra 3]

Originally posted by outsyder
Oh, I get it. I thought it was about these guys at first glance:

http://www.erikestrada.com/the-chips-crew.jpg


I know I'd be pissed if they were being sold at the theatre.:) With Hollywood's recent Oscar contenders like Scooby Doo 2 and Starsky & Hutch I thought of those guys as well.

[Pvt. Joker]

Originally posted by sharkstank
we've had this problem since nachos. horrible indeed

WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh no, I always eat nachos at the theater, it's the only thing I ever eat when I go to the movies.

[The Postmaster General]

This seems like something Seinfeld would complain about.

[Murderous Squad]

I would have to crack somebody in the jaw if they ruined the movie for me by eating chips...I hate when people are so damn disrespectful to others in theaters.

[TATU]

Originally posted by Murderous Squad
I would have to crack somebody in the jaw if they ruined the movie for me by eating chips...I hate when people are so damn disrespectful to others in theaters.

Hey, I eat chips damnit.....

[ERIN_LoJ]

You know, I never realized the idiocy of chips at the theatre. Now I have something new to bring up in conversations :cool:

[CyclicNightmare]

Ever stop to think that *gasp* it might not be the theatres fault? People sneak snacks in all the time.

[jackson13]

Originally posted by CyclicNightmare
Ever stop to think that *gasp* it might not be the theatres fault? People sneak snacks in all the time.


Well, I do occasionally check out the snack bar, and this theater does indeed sell bags of Frito-Lay Potato chips (Regular, Sour Cream, Mesquite BBQ). Of course they are the little bags you can buy at the gas station for 65 cents, but at the theater I think they're pretty much 3 times that.

[Scully1888]

Even "quiet" snacks like M&Ms are potential pains-in-the-ass at times.

I hate when the person behind you is trying so hard not to make a noise that they spend 5 minutes slowly rustling for a fucking M&M without realising that they actually ARE making a noise and, what's worse, they're taking longer than they need to.

Cinema M&Ms should not come in a bag, they should come in a mini-tub (much like popcorn).