Getting off and Horror!

[Romero&Juliet]

This is going to sound REALLY strange. However, I do feel the need to post about because it seems that we old schmoes have covered everything under the sun. Besides, it seems to happen to me all the time..!!

Here's a scenario - you're sitting alone, watching a horror movie and you decide to masturbate(decide is a really funny way of putting it.. anyways). I'm sure the same rules apply if you're having sex with someone whilst stealing an odd glance at the television screen(if only I were so lucky...!)

Now, okay ....you're sitting around, you're masturbating(or having sex, blablabla. Fuck you, by the way, if that's the case!) watching the movie, then BAMMMMMMMM!

Some nasty shit happens and you're stuck with your dick in your hand..


Does it not make you feel like a fucking weirdo!?



- I realize that my posting this makes ME a weirdo, but nevertheless-

Okay, scenario #2:

You want to masturbate, but then you quickly realize that oh, sayy.. Evil Dead Trap is spinning in your DVD player for the eight thousanth time.. do you turn it off? do you WAIT until its over?! I mean, is it really WORTH watching someone getting impaled, or covered in maggots?! Will concentrating on some beauuutioful piece of flesh hard enough sort of...cancel out the blood curdling screams and Japanese death threats?!



Such are the problems plaguing my minnnd, people!





I dont know what kind of conversation value this has. I hope it at least entertains you for a second.

[Inglorious]

OK, THAT was funny!

No, but I have popped one during a horror movie, never took it anywhere though. I had sex during Nightmare On Elm Street 2 - with a chick... I don't think the movie inspired it though. I had sex during Evil Dead and The Eye too though...

[rilocay]

I think there are some flicks that definatly give off that vibe......yeh, i'd say there's plenty.

[TheDeadWalk]

I got me a suck off during house on haunted hill.

[The_Driller_Killer]

I was involved in a make-out session that turned into sex during a viewing of the original Carrie. It ended in the bedroom, though. However, we left the TV on and since it wasn't exactly a spacious apartment, we could still hear the DVD menu during the act. I don't know, hearing "they're all gonna laugh at you!" over and over doesn't really do much for my labido.

As for masturbation, if I do get the urge during one of my favorite horror movies (and I can assure you, the movie itself does not trigger this urge, unless there is someone really hot and half naked in it), I'll usually wait until the conclusion before whipping it out and going to town. That way, I can pop in a good porno. Or, I'll just surf the net.

God, now I sound like the biggest perv. Ah, well. We all do it. And if you say you don't, YOU'RE LYING!!!

:)

[Scully1888]

The trick is to pause the DVD and switch the TV off.

So I've heard. :D

I had a female friend demand we watch Child's Play one night. By the point the cop was lying in the car upside-down and Chucky was running around it she had her hand down my pants.

Good old Chuck led to the Scullmeister popping the old cherry.

Still felt a bit weird telling my friends though.

(in Scottish accent) "Oh aye, she grabbed ma baws during yon Chucky film!"

[Mr-Blonde]

Um-- so is it wrong to be turned on by the naked zombie chick Trash in Return of the Living Dead? Coz I sure had major wood watching her run around naked while screaming "BRAINS! BRAINS!" :D

[The_Driller_Killer]

Originally posted by Mr-Blonde
Um-- so is it wrong to be turned on by the naked zombie chick Trash in Return of the Living Dead? Coz I sure had major wood watching her run around naked while screaming "BRAINS! BRAINS!" :D

Nah. Linnea Quigley is one sexy bitch.

[countchocula]

I've violated myself during many a fright flick. It helps if the film in question is lousy. Quality is a distraction. One time, a girl masturbated in front of me right after we watched TCM together. That was interesting.

Great topic, R&J!

[countchocula]

Hey, let's hear from some female schmoes! Parilese? :D

[ComeNightfall]

Female schmoe calling in:

Usually I'm too involved in what's going on the screen to pet the pussy, but the sex scene in Crawlspace did get me aroused, especially after the guy screamed "I'm cumming, I'm cumming at the top of his lungs." And I also got turned on by Jack and Marcie's bunk bed sex in F13, especially when she grabbed his butt. That was a pretty hot and nice little scene there! :D

[Could Be Worse]

let me think...hooked up/had sex/etc during Alien, Aliens, Carrie, Dracula, Evil dead 1 and 2, Sleepaway Camp 2, Jaws 3, Hellraiser 1, 2, and 4, NOES parts 3, 4, and 5, and Halloween H20 and Ressurection.

[The Claw]

Man, this makes me feel better about jerking it while watching Night School, It made that movie more pleasurable thats for sure.

[B1rd_Po0p]

I used to date a guy who couldn't get aroused unless he was watching a horror film. Needless to say; that relationship didn't last long... :D

And as much as 'Taking Lives' sucked - the sex scene between Angelina and Ethan made me super hot... I dunno why...

[adamjohnson]

Does USA's "Up All night" count???

[Romero&Juliet]

Originally posted by countchocula
Quality is a distraction.

Hahahahah - ditto. And then we complain that our genre doesn't get the respect it deserves!?

Of course, I'm sure someone, somewhere, is renting fucking MEAN GIRLS (which is really everything that's wrong with the world, by the way).. and beating it like it owes him money..



One time, a girl masturbated in front of me right after we watched TCM together. That was interesting.


You're the fucking MAN! Gay goes with horror about as well as fucking cheese goes with coffee.



Great topic, R&J! [/B]


Thank you!

I'm so glad this thread didn't bomb and make me look like a total perve. I had been wracking my brain thinking of an eloquent way of putting it, but - well, I really dont think its possible!

[Inglorious]

Originally posted by Romero&Juliet
... and beating it like it owes him money...

It does owe me money! I'll come post again when I am done with his beating for my money...

[Twisted]

That never, ever happened to me, but I'm suprised it has to other schmoes...

[Twisted]

Originally posted by Mr. Peanut
It does owe me money! I'll come post again when I am done with his beating for my money...


LMAO!:D

[Juice]

I never decide to masturbate during a movie. I think that would be pretty strange... like... 'Come on Bruce, fight those deadites! Hey, why don't I just masturbate?'

It never seems to go like that in my head.
And when I'm watching a movie with my girlfriend, we always wait with the sex untill the movie's over. Exept when it's really boring.

Hilarious topic btw.

[DarkMarch]

Hmmm well I have to say there are people who have done something sexual to horror films, there are those who havent and there are those who have probably had sexual thoughts.
The question is now NOt if But whats a good horror flick to get ur self off?
I say alot of the Friday The 13th since SEX is one of the key formula....
ANyone else like to put there two cents AND I MEAN two cents if i find any sticky shit i aint gonna clean it! LOL!

[The_Driller_Killer]

Originally posted by Romero&Juliet
Of course, I'm sure someone, somewhere, is renting fucking MEAN GIRLS (which is really everything that's wrong with the world, by the way).. and beating it like it owes him money..






You're the fucking MAN! Gay goes with horror about as well as fucking cheese goes with coffee.
[/B]

Firstly, I thoroughly enjoyed Mean Girls. Own the DVD and have seen it several times.

Secondly, I'm gay and and probably one of the biggest horror fans you'd ever find. What the fuck does sexual preference have to do with horror? What does it have to do with any genre? That was probably the most ignorant, hillbilly-assed comment I've ever read on these boards and you deserve a serious boot in the ass for saying it.

[Scully1888]

You do realise R&J's gay?

He wasn't simply gay-bashing to get a reaction, I'm sure he was saying that with his tongue firmly in his cheek.

[Redneck Punk]

Originally posted by The_Driller_Killer
That was probably the most ignorant, hillbilly-assed comment I've ever read on these boards and you deserve a serious boot in the ass for saying it.
Hey! I resemble that remark!

Why is it bad to goof on Fudge Packers, but you can say whatever you want about Hillbillies?

Anyway, I think we're missing the most distubing thing here.
A gay dude that calls himself The_Driller_Killer. :D

[DarkMarch]

He probably didnt mean no harm in the homosexual remark.
So Relax, no one i think really believes that certain sexualitys belong to certain Genre coz it doesnt work.
Here In Australia we had a mass Murderer called Martin Brian and the police said he was influenced by Child Play series but when asked whats his fav movie (they expected him to say some horror movie so they can blame the horror films for his killing) He replied The Sound Of Music.... My Point Being Sex, Creed, Anything doesnt mean SHIT.................
you can be country girl who love ACDC or a Gangsta looking dude who loves Folklore..........
Btw Friday the 13th pt 7 is a good toss if ur lookin for sex scenes lol... OH wot about that film The Church heard it had morbid stuff (if ur into it)....

[Romero&Juliet]

Wow - you totally misread my comment.

HQ will be hearing about this..... :D

[The_Driller_Killer]

Well, I had no idea and I apologize. However, a comment like that could quite easily be misconstrued and taken as an insult.

Once again, I am sorry.

[countchocula]

Originally posted by Romero&Juliet
Gay goes with horror about as well as fucking cheese goes with coffee.

Tell me about it. The last time I tried watching a horror flick with you, you couldn't keep your hands off of me. No means no! And quit suggesting David Decoteau movies every time we go to Blockbuster.

[GoldenGhost]

I lost my V-Balls to A Nightmare on Elm Street. Who would have thought? It sometimes helps if a horror film is really bad to have a well good shag (or toss if you're at loss)...it compensates for the shittiness most of the time.

[Romero&Juliet]

Originally posted by countchocula
Tell me about it. The last time I tried watching a horror flick with you, you couldn't keep your hands off of me. No means no! And quit suggesting David Decoteau movies every time we go to Blockbuster.


Hahahhhahaha - fucker!


- Like I'd ever be caught DEAD in a Blockbuster.

[Inglorious]

Yeah, I tried it.

It was good, other than cleaning my TV screen and watching Bloody Murder...

[Juice]

Originally posted by Redneck Punk
Anyway, I think we're missing the most distubing thing here.
A gay dude that calls himself The_Driller_Killer. :D

:D

[Scully1888]

Originally posted by Mr. Peanut
Yeah, I tried it.

It was good, other than cleaning my TV screen and watching Bloody Murder... Which raises the question...

Which is most morally wrong: "choking the sheriff and waiting for the posse to come", or watching Bloody Murder?

[X-Nightcrawler]

Originally posted by B1rd_Po0p
I used to date a guy who couldn't get aroused unless he was watching a horror film. Needless to say; that relationship didn't last long... :D Missy, I believe I told you never to open that wound again. *sobs*

:D

[KillerKlown]

Originally posted by Scully1888
Which raises the question...

Which is most morally wrong: "choking the sheriff and waiting for the posse to come", or watching Bloody Murder?




Bloody Murder. Hands down. ;)

[spacemonkey]

If I were to do such a sing as getting off while watching a horror film it would be to the super hot lesbo sex scene in Mullholand Drive!

[gorysnoopy]

Hmmmm,interesting topic R&J! Let's see....received oral during Mimic and Species....rode the stallion during Halloween 2....not much else to say except the dude was awful and I ended up ditching his sorry ass.....

[syxxpac]

Originally posted by KillerKlown
Bloody Murder. Hands down. ;)

Where, exactly? :p

[EvilDeadGirl]

There's nothing wrong with some masturbation/sex during a horror flicks. Happens all the time. Shit I was watching Bubbah Ho-Tep the other night and went to town.

Usually end up having sex during Evil Dead. can't imagine why. ;)

Besides masturbation during anytime doesn't make you weird. It makes you normal.

[adamjohnson]

Originally posted by EvilDeadGirl
There's nothing wrong with some masturbation/sex during a horror flicks. Happens all the time. Shit I was watching Bubbah Ho-Tep the other night and went to town.

Usually end up having sex during Evil Dead. can't imagine why. ;)

Besides masturbation during anytime doesn't make you weird. It makes you normal.



Tell it again.

:D

[syxxpac]

Originally posted by adamjohnson
Tell it again.

:D

Yes. I agree.

:D

[countchocula]

If there were ever a schmoe get-together, I already know what films we would be watching ~ Halloween II and The Evil Dead. I also already know who would be invited and where the revelry would take place.

*e-mails EvilDeadGirl and Gorysnoopy with directions to my house*

[KillerKlown]

Originally posted by EvilDeadGirl
There's nothing wrong with some masturbation/sex during a horror flicks. Happens all the time. Shit I was watching Bubbah Ho-Tep the other night and went to town.



At what point during the movie was that? :D

[EVILxxx]

Well seeing as alot of horror movies have a healthy dose of sex scenes implemented it is not hard to see how someone can get horney. During the actual horror moments though. ... I think if I got sexual excited during those scenes alittle voice would pop in my head an say "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

[gorysnoopy]

Originally posted by countchocula
If there were ever a schmoe get-together, I already know what films we would be watching ~ Halloween II and The Evil Dead. I also already know who would be invited and where the revelry would take place.

*e-mails EvilDeadGirl and Gorysnoopy with directions to my house*

You better be worth the trip,dammit!!!!

[countchocula]

Oh, I am. R&J can attest to that. Wait, I mean...

Shit.

[B1rd_Po0p]

Originally posted by X-Nightcrawler
Missy, I believe I told you never to open that wound again. *sobs*

;) @ X-Nightcrawler

... I had to think about this one a bit: and I have had sex during Evil Dead... Twice... What is it about that movie??

[The Claw]

Originally posted by countchocula
Oh, I am. R&J can attest to that. Wait, I mean...

Shit.


YOU had sex with someone OTHER then me. You cheating bastard


:mad: :mad: :mad:

[C-Desecration-]

During the actual horror moments though. ... I think if I got sexual excited during those scenes alittle voice would pop in my head an say "What the hell is wrong with you?!"


Oh lighten up. It's perfectly fine. I mean, everyone found that scene in Irreversible erotic.

And now that we've all had a good laugh, before anyone jumps to conclusions, no, I'm not talking about "that" scene. I mean I like to joke around plenty, but that's not funny. It's just in really bad taste. Even I have some standards. I might as well kick back and go make fun of abuse, or, make a crack about serial killers. Jesus! I'm not that twisted. So no, I was joking, ha-ha-ha, I didn't mean "that" scene.
I meant the rape one.

But I'm surprised with all these replies.
I mean, who the hell has sex during a movie.

[gorysnoopy]

Originally posted by countchocula
Oh, I am. R&J can attest to that. Wait, I mean...

Shit.
Well,if it was good enough for R&J.......
;)

[Saruman]

I've jacked my shit to many horror films. My favorite in particular is House of 1000 Corpses in the scene where Baby is stabbing Mary to death.

Do I feel weird doing it? No. Baby looks really hot there.

But I gotta say, I would feel like a weirdo piece of shit if I was jacking off to I Spit on Your Grave or The Last House on the Left.