MadsenOMC
02-02-2005, 11:42 PM
SPOILERS!!
I find movies like Hitch difficult to review. When you have a strong reaction to something, be it positive or negative, the words tend to flow, even if it's not in a coherent manner. You can rant and rave with passion about why you loved or hating a particular film.
Hitch falls somewhere in the middle. It certainly isn't good, but it's far from the worst movie I've ever seen. It is remarkably mediocre, almost as if that is exactly, precisely what it strived for.
Since you already know exactly how a movie like this will end, the journey is much more important than the destination. Hitch is intermittently amusing, though never laugh-out-loud funny. It has a few cute moments, but also way too many sappy and melodramatic ones.
Will Smith stars as Alex "Hitch" Hitchens, a date doctor. His theory is that literally any man has a chance with literally any woman. It's all about creating an opportunity and then making the most of it. He helps men create the opportunity and then seal the deal.
Albert Brennaman (Kevin James) is Hitch's latest challenge. A shy, awkward accountant, Albert has a massive crush on Allegra Cole (Amber Valletta), an insanely rich and insanely gorgeous socialite whose financial needs are taken care of by Albert's company. She is the type of woman who wouldn't notice Albert if he were on fire two feet from her face. Theirs is an entirely unbelievable romance that tests the viewer's ability to suspend disbelief to the absolute maximum, and even then…
Meanwhile, Hitch has a blossoming romance of his own. The object of his affection is a gossip columnist, one Sara Melas (Eva Mendes). She is your typical cynic who is of course way too busy for a boyfriend. It's a character we've seen a lot of since Sex and the City, and this one is about as one-dimensional as they come. She's the type of woman who goes to trendy nightclubs alone for a drink, which is how Hitch meets her.
His business requires secrecy, so he only tells her that he is a consultant. She, of course, has heard of this infamous "date doctor" through a friend, Casey (Julie Ann Emery), the classic best friend character who is slightly neurotic and slightly desperate and only dates assholes. By the end of the movie, you can bet that she'll discover the date doctor's true identity, and that she won't be happy about it.
Hitch shifts randomly back and forth between the two romances, before they converge in a ridiculously contrived Hollywood romantic comedy fashion. It spends so much time on one, you begin to completely forget about the other before it suddenly cuts back to it. This helps contribute to the movie's extremely overlong two-hour running time.
The problem isn't really the predictability of everything. You expect that in something like this. For one thing, there is far too much reliance on slapstick comedy. James is falling down, running into something or spilling something on himself nearly every second that he's onscreen. It's overdone, so say the least, and stops being funny real quick.
There's also excessive sentimentality and melodrama, which never work well in otherwise lighthearted romantic comedies. They feel forced and unconvincing nearly every time, and Hitch is certainly no exception. The attempts to choke you up, such as Mendes' story about her younger sister falling through the ice and nearly drowning when they were kids, are laughably bad and misplaced. Why even bother? They don't belong here.
Hitch (the movie) has very simple, old-fashioned views on love and dating. Too simplistic and too old-fashioned. That's all well and good, until you ask the viewer to believe that these couples suddenly and inexplicably love each other after two or three dates and hardly any quality time with one another. It's out of left field and hard to swallow, even in this. They just keep piling it on.
By the time Smith is riding on the roof of a Mini Cooper in a desperate attempt to win Mendes back, Hitch has overstayed its welcome. You just want it to hurry up and get it over with already. But wait, it's not done. There's still a wedding and a scene of the two principal couples dancing in silly and wacky ways. Gag me.
I know I haven't really said too many nice things about Hitch. Don't get me wrong, it isn't an atrocity. But as far as romantic comedies go, it is completely routine and by-the-numbers and offers nothing to set itself apart from every other entry in the genre. It's a harmless date movie that you'll forget about five minutes after the credits begin to roll.
5/10
I find movies like Hitch difficult to review. When you have a strong reaction to something, be it positive or negative, the words tend to flow, even if it's not in a coherent manner. You can rant and rave with passion about why you loved or hating a particular film.
Hitch falls somewhere in the middle. It certainly isn't good, but it's far from the worst movie I've ever seen. It is remarkably mediocre, almost as if that is exactly, precisely what it strived for.
Since you already know exactly how a movie like this will end, the journey is much more important than the destination. Hitch is intermittently amusing, though never laugh-out-loud funny. It has a few cute moments, but also way too many sappy and melodramatic ones.
Will Smith stars as Alex "Hitch" Hitchens, a date doctor. His theory is that literally any man has a chance with literally any woman. It's all about creating an opportunity and then making the most of it. He helps men create the opportunity and then seal the deal.
Albert Brennaman (Kevin James) is Hitch's latest challenge. A shy, awkward accountant, Albert has a massive crush on Allegra Cole (Amber Valletta), an insanely rich and insanely gorgeous socialite whose financial needs are taken care of by Albert's company. She is the type of woman who wouldn't notice Albert if he were on fire two feet from her face. Theirs is an entirely unbelievable romance that tests the viewer's ability to suspend disbelief to the absolute maximum, and even then…
Meanwhile, Hitch has a blossoming romance of his own. The object of his affection is a gossip columnist, one Sara Melas (Eva Mendes). She is your typical cynic who is of course way too busy for a boyfriend. It's a character we've seen a lot of since Sex and the City, and this one is about as one-dimensional as they come. She's the type of woman who goes to trendy nightclubs alone for a drink, which is how Hitch meets her.
His business requires secrecy, so he only tells her that he is a consultant. She, of course, has heard of this infamous "date doctor" through a friend, Casey (Julie Ann Emery), the classic best friend character who is slightly neurotic and slightly desperate and only dates assholes. By the end of the movie, you can bet that she'll discover the date doctor's true identity, and that she won't be happy about it.
Hitch shifts randomly back and forth between the two romances, before they converge in a ridiculously contrived Hollywood romantic comedy fashion. It spends so much time on one, you begin to completely forget about the other before it suddenly cuts back to it. This helps contribute to the movie's extremely overlong two-hour running time.
The problem isn't really the predictability of everything. You expect that in something like this. For one thing, there is far too much reliance on slapstick comedy. James is falling down, running into something or spilling something on himself nearly every second that he's onscreen. It's overdone, so say the least, and stops being funny real quick.
There's also excessive sentimentality and melodrama, which never work well in otherwise lighthearted romantic comedies. They feel forced and unconvincing nearly every time, and Hitch is certainly no exception. The attempts to choke you up, such as Mendes' story about her younger sister falling through the ice and nearly drowning when they were kids, are laughably bad and misplaced. Why even bother? They don't belong here.
Hitch (the movie) has very simple, old-fashioned views on love and dating. Too simplistic and too old-fashioned. That's all well and good, until you ask the viewer to believe that these couples suddenly and inexplicably love each other after two or three dates and hardly any quality time with one another. It's out of left field and hard to swallow, even in this. They just keep piling it on.
By the time Smith is riding on the roof of a Mini Cooper in a desperate attempt to win Mendes back, Hitch has overstayed its welcome. You just want it to hurry up and get it over with already. But wait, it's not done. There's still a wedding and a scene of the two principal couples dancing in silly and wacky ways. Gag me.
I know I haven't really said too many nice things about Hitch. Don't get me wrong, it isn't an atrocity. But as far as romantic comedies go, it is completely routine and by-the-numbers and offers nothing to set itself apart from every other entry in the genre. It's a harmless date movie that you'll forget about five minutes after the credits begin to roll.
5/10