Best swearing in a film

[Toby]

I just read helculeez'swearing topic on the Misc.section.
But wich movie has the best swearing?
And DO give a quote
(It'll be good for my english! /ubb/smile.gif)
My favorits are:
"Donkey raping shit eater" from Southpark and
"Fuckfuckerthefuckmotherfucker"; Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction(not the actual words but HOW he sez it!)

[Brock Landers]

"From Dusk Till Dawn"...
Chet Pussy: Pussy, pussy, pussy! All pussy must
go. At the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half!
This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on our
vast selection of pussy! We got white pussy, black
pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, hot pussy, cold
pussy, wet pussy, tight pussy, big pussy, bloody
pussy, fat pussy, hairy pussy, smelly pussy, velvet
pussy, silk pussy, Naugahyde pussy, snappin'
pussy, horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy, fake
pussy! If we don't have it, you don't want it! Attention pussy shoppers! Take
advantage of our penny pussy sale! If you buy one
piece of pussy at the regular price, you get another
piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a
penny! Try and beat pussy for a penny! If you can
find cheaper pussy anywhere, fuck it!

"Fast Times at Ridgemont High"...
Mike Damone: You are a wuss: part wimp, and part
pussy.

"The Last Detail"... Jack Nicholson: I am the motherfucking shore patrol, motherfucker! I am the motherfucking shore patrol! Give this man a beer." /ubb/wink.gif

"Full Metal Jacket"...
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor:
Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the
slimy communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker who
just signed his own death warrant?

"Glengarry Glen Ross"...
Blake: That watch costs more than you car. I made
$970,000 last year. How much you make? You see
pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy, I
don't give a shit. Good father, fuck you! Go home and
play with your kids! You wanna work here, close!
You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you
cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take
the abuse you get on a sit?

"Hoffa"...
Hoffa: What do I want you to do? I want you to kill
the cocksucker! I want you to stuff his arms up his
ass, that's what I fuckin' want!

"Clerks"...
Randal Graves: Obviously. Yeah, hello, this is RST
Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an
order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes:
"Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It
Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning",
"All Tit-Fucking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock",
"Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My Cunt Needs
Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts",
"Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On
Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum",
"Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy
Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard
Cock". Uh-huh...yeah...Oh, wait, and, what was that
called again?




[This message has been edited by Brock Landers (edited 07-23-2001).]

[Toby]

Good call on clerks!!
This one's good also:

from Usual Suspects
Cop: Number 1, step forward.
Hockney: Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker.
Cop: Number 2, step forward.
McManus: Give me the fucking keys, you fucking cocksucking motherfucker, aaarrrghh!
Cop: Knock it off! Get back! Number 3, step forward.
Fenster: Hand me the keys, you cocksucker!
Cop: In English, please?
Fenster: Excuse me?
Cop: In English.
Fenster: Hand me the fucking keys, you cocksucker, what the fuck?


[This message has been edited by Toby (edited 07-23-2001).]

[Nightflyer]

Have to agree With Brock's "Pussy Pussy Pussy" That was fuckin hilarious.

My other one is a simple one.

Alien 3, where the Alien comes down from the tube and picks up the warden. Then a crim grabs a chair, gets ready to hit the thing, but stops and just says "FUCK"

It suited the scene so well.



[This message has been edited by Nightflyer (edited 07-23-2001).]

[KornKidJedi]

George Clooney in From Dusk Till Dawn,
Motherfuck,Motherfucking Vampires,I'm gunna everyone of you godless pieces of shit.

Christian Slater in True Romance
(About Kung-Fu Actor Sonny Chiba)
He's just a bad motherfucker hired just to fuck guys up.

My favorite cuss word is Motherfucker.

[SteveSzyk]

It wasn't really swearing but I loved it when Tom Cruise said Penis, Big Erect Penis, or something ike that in Born on the Fourth of July

[Celestial-being]

American Beauty:

"Will someone please pass the fucking asparagus?"

Magnolia:

"Respect the cock! And tame the cunt! Tame it! Take it on headfirst with the skills that I will tech you at work and say no! You will not control me! No! You will not take my soul! No! You will not win this game! Because it's a game, guys. You want to think it's not, huh? You want to think it's not? Go back to the schoolyard and you have that crush on big-titted Mary Jane. Respect the cock."

[Adidas03]

I like the cussing scenes in Pulp Fiction (Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta) and the Big Lebowski (John Goodman), they are always good!

[Lindsey]

I love how they say fuck every fucking time in Reservoir Dogs,over 400 fucking times Mother fucker.

[James Logan]

"Yipikiyay motherfucker" - Bruce Willis in DIE HARD and DIE HARD III (does he say it in DIE HARD III? can't remember)

"Fuckfuckerthefuckmotherfucker" - Bruce Willis in PULP FICTION

"Oh...shit." - said by Indiana Jones

[Cyclonus]

Good call Logan; no ones writes better profanity than Tarantino! /ubb/biggrin.gif

[Cyclonus]

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! Remember the part in "Swingers" where they're playing that video game?

"Bitch! Bitch! Fucking bitch!"

In my high school mass media class, some guy showed that part for his presentation and we all got a kick out of it. /ubb/biggrin.gif

[pizowell]

I'm gonna have to go with the beautiful opening explosion of the F-word at the beginning of Way Of The Gun. "I'll fuckstart your face!" Just to quote a few.

[Adam J. Hakari]

I haven't seen all of it yet, but according to one review site, Gary Oldman's "Nil by Mouth" contains about 430 mentionings of the "f" word alone.

[SIREN30]

I hate cussing but I think that "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" and "Damn, we're in a tight spot!" from GONE W/ THE WIND and O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU...are pretty good lines. /ubb/smile.gif

[Antonio]

1. Al Pacino in SCENT OF A WOMAN and GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS
2. Joe Pesci in GOODFELLAS
3. Samuel L. Jackson in PULP FICTION
4. Jamie Lee Curtis in HALLOWEEN: H20
5. Kevin Spacey in THE USUAL SUSPECTS, GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS and AMERICAN BEAUTY

[FilmBuff84]

I reckon one of the films with the best swearing would be...

PANIC ROOM (Especially Jared Leto's performance and the dialogue between Jodie Foster and Kristen Stewart)

"Get out of my house"
"Say fuck"
"You fuck"
"No, get the fuck out of my house"
"Get the fuck out of my house"

[The Other]

Oh, I so agree about KEVIN SPACEY, Antonio. He curses beautifully! http://www.joblo.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

[arto_j]

I love this one from A Fish Called Wanda:

"You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole!"

And of course the "Fuck me, your majesty!" line from American Beauty. Just beautiful.

[Professor Falk]

Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper) in Blue Velvet "Do you know what a Love Letter is, FUCK-errrr? It's a bullet from a gun! I'll send you straight to Hell, FUCK-errr!! If you get a Love Letter from me, you're fucked forever!!"

(In reference to "Ben"): "He's so FUCKIN' suave! Ain't he suave!? You're one suave fucker!"


He's a big nasty badass and all, but...he cusses like a 12-year old.

[arto_j]

From Heathers:

"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw."

Tom Cruise just cracked me up in Vanilla Sky when in the restaurant he goes :" What I really want is that everyone would just please shut the fuck up, especially you!"

And in Dogma, when god appears and Jay starts yelling all these curses :
"Get offa me! I wanna see what's up! What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you, lady? Why the fuck did you hug my head?
What the fuck is this, The Piano? Why ain't this broad talking?
What the fuck does that mean? Has everyone gone fuckin' nuts? What the fuck happened to that guy's head?! I want some..."

I could name every other sentence in Dogma, so many curses, but I'll pick this one:
"The whole fucking world's against us, I swear to God."

[Scrunch]

Swearing in movies to me is overdone. A lot of it isn't necessary but I will agree that there are some characters/situations etc that make sense to be swearing.

Half of these lines you guys put here though to me are totally unintelligent cop outs of lines.

I'm not sure how scared I am that you guys quote these lines so easily too. LOL

[EBastard]

John Goodman in The Big Lebowski:
-"I'm as Jewish as fucking Tevye."
-"Saturday, Donny, is shabbas, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!"
-"Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax-- YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I'M LIVING IN THE FUCKING PAST!"
-"What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude."
-"This is what happens when you FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!"(My favorite)
-"Fuck it, dude, let's go bowling."

Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live:
-"Life's a bitch, and she's back in heat!"
-"I have come here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all...out...of bubblegum."

[BakeTheMooCow]

JSBSB - Fuck Fuck Fuck, mother mother fuck, mother mother fuck fuck, noich noich noich, 1 2, 1 2 3 4, noich noich noich, smokin weed smokin weed, doin coke drinkin beers, drinkin beers beers beers. Rollin fatties smokin blunts, who smokes the blunts, we smoke the blunts, rollin blunts, toke back - Hey can I get a nickle back? - 15 bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand. If that money doesn't show then you owe me owe me owe.

[jeffrey_2112]

Christmas Vacation:
Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!
and
I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah!

Goodfellas:
Spider: Why don't you go fuck yourself, Tommy?

Taxi Driver:
Travis: Hey, I'm not square, you're the one square. Your full of shit, man. What are you talking about? You walk out with those fuckin' creeps and low-lifes and degenerates out on the streets and you sell your little pussies for nothing, man? For some low-life pimp who stands in the hall? And I'm square? You're the one square, man. I don't go screwing fuck with bunch of killers and junkies like you do. You call that hip? What world are you from?

Travis: Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up.

Betsy: Taking me to a place like this is about as exciting as saying to me "Let's fuck." (funny cause it seemed weird hearing Cybill Shepherd saying it)

[bluntman86]

Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back...

JAY:
i am the clit commander! none of you can work the clit like me! not this little fuck (points to silent bob),none of you little fucks! when it comes down to business,it's what i do.first i put it on my mouth like this-oooh you little fuck! than i rub it on my nose...huh hoo hoo yea!

[Professor Falk]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by arto_j:
And in Dogma, when god appears and Jay starts yelling all these curses :
"Get offa me! I wanna see what's up! What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you, lady? Why the fuck did you hug my head?
What the fuck is this, The Piano? Why ain't this broad talking?
What the fuck does that mean? Has everyone gone fuckin' nuts? What the fuck happened to that guy's head?! I want some..."

</font>


The line about The Piano just fractured me. I don't think I heard anything else for the next five minutes I was laughing so hard. You can always count on Jay for a good line (like in Chasing Amy, when Holden tells him he's having woman trouble and Jay comes out with "Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot...", or that brilliantly incoherent story about his Grandmother in Clerks.)


[This message has been edited by Professor Falk (edited 04-09-2002).]

[EBastard]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by jeffrey_2112:
Christmas Vacation:
Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!
</font>
SHIT! I forgot about that one.That was classic.

[arto_j]

I don't think anyone mentioned Planes, Trains & Automobiles:

" I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

[A Canadian ThereWolf]

South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut

Cartman: Hey, don't call me fat, you fuckin' Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-Word?
Cartman: Jew?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "Fuck". You can't say "Fuck" in school, ya fuckin' fatass!
Mr. Garrsion: Kyle!
Cartman: Why the fuck not?!?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said "Fuck" again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny: [Muffled] Fuck!
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? it doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck!
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school councelor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?!? [Whole Class Gasps!]
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?!?
Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Actually what I said was, [Picks Up Megaphone] HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON!?!
Stan: Holy shit, dude!

Fuckin' hilarious!!!

[brandon918]

Swearing always makes the movie funnier.
These are just some of them-
Halfbaked-Fuck you, fuck you, your cool, fuck you.(when he's getting fired).
We were soldiers- (Mel gibson)I wonder what custard felt like when he knew he led is men into defeat.(Sam Elliot)Sir custard was a pussy.
Jay and silient bob- (ben affleck)Lets check the internet.(Jay)What the fuck is the internet.
Jay and silient bob-What the fuck are you bitches babbaling about.
Assasins-(Antonio bandares)Fuck,shit,fuck,shit,fuck,shit.


[This message has been edited by brandon918 (edited 04-09-2002).]

[EBastard]

Here's some others I forgot:

Devil's Advocate(Al Pacino's swearing is like poetry in this movie):
John Milton(Al Pacino):"Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man INSTINCTS! He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusment, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste! Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha! And when you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off. He's a tight-ass! He's a sadist! He's an absentee landlord. Worship THAT? NEVER!"
John Milton: "Free will...it is a bitch."

Sexy Beast:
Don(Ben Kingsley):"I fucked Jackie. Dirty cow. During what we were doing, she tried to stick her finger up my bum. I nearly hit the roof, you can imagine. I mean, what have you got to think of a woman who'd want to do that?"

National Lampoon's Vacation:
Clark Griswold(Chevy Chase):"I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!"

[This message has been edited by EBastard (edited 04-09-2002).]

[arto_j]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by A Canadian ThereWolf:
South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut

Cartman: Hey, don't call me fat, you fuckin' Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-Word?
Cartman: Jew?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "Fuck". You can't say "Fuck" in school, ya fuckin' fatass!
Mr. Garrsion: Kyle!
Cartman: Why the fuck not?!?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said "Fuck" again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny: [Muffled] Fuck!
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? it doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck!
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school councelor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?!? [Whole Class Gasps!]
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?!?
Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Actually what I said was, [Picks Up Megaphone] HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON!?!
Stan: Holy shit, dude!

Fuckin' hilarious!!!</font>

Good catch Therewolf. I was totally cracking up when I saw this, but my mom wasn't as entertained...Anyway, the whole movie is just brilliant. And, BTW, I think Eric's line there is actually: "What's the big (fuckin') deal, bitch?" I'm not sure about the fuckin' part, but the bitch is really there. Boy, there has to be something more important out there for me...

[A Canadian ThereWolf]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by arto_j:
Good catch Therewolf. I was totally cracking up when I saw this, but my mom wasn't as entertained...Anyway, the whole movie is just brilliant. And, BTW, I think Eric's line there is actually: "What's the big (fuckin') deal, bitch?" I'm not sure about the fuckin' part, but the bitch is really there. Boy, there has to be something more important out there for me...</font>

You're right, Eric does say "What's the big fuckin' deal, biitch?" but to Mr. Mackey, the school councelor.
It's a fuckin' hilarious part;

Cartman: Mr. Mackey, can I ask a question?
Mr. Mackey: M'kay, what?
Cartman: What's the big fuckin deal, bitch?
Mr. Mackey: Aahh! Now, I wanna know where you heard these horrific obsenities.
Stan: Nowhere!
Kyle: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times.
Mr. Mackey: Now boys, I seriosly doubt that Mr. Garrison ever said, [reads list] "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker!".

[Gouger30]

My choice would be Goodfellas. Joe Peschi is absolutely hilarious with some of the lines he came up with.

[arto_j]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by A Canadian ThereWolf:
You're right, Eric does say "What's the big fuckin' deal, biitch?" but to Mr. Mackey, the school councelor.
It's a fuckin' hilarious part;

Cartman: Mr. Mackey, can I ask a question?
Mr. Mackey: M'kay, what?
Cartman: What's the big fuckin deal, bitch?
Mr. Mackey: Aahh! Now, I wanna know where you heard these horrific obsenities.
Stan: Nowhere!
Kyle: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times.
Mr. Mackey: Now boys, I seriosly doubt that Mr. Garrison ever said, [reads list] "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker!".
</font>

You must've watched it more carefully than I did, I guess I should see it again some time soon. But anyways, the film is full of great lines, and about all of them involve swearing.

[sloopyfan]

Well the best swearers are Samuel L. Jackson and Chris Rock, no one can say Mother Fuca better than those two.

[Professor Falk]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by sloopyfan:
Well the best swearers are Samuel L. Jackson and Chris Rock, no one can say Mother Fuca better than those two.</font>

True. The cool thing about that word is, that you can say it like they do, and there's an note of amusement in it. You can also say it full out, slowly, like "Mother-ER FUCK-errrr", and it's got a real edge of danger to it. Laurence Fishburne is the king of that.

[A Canadian ThereWolf]

Falling Down had a good one;
Sgt. Predergast(Robert Duvall): Fuck you Captain Yardley. Fuck you very much!

[JofaGuht]

this was a deleted scene, rent the special edition DVD if you want to see it. It's from Jay and Silent But Strike Back:
JAY: Alright--First i want to tongue your bung while you juggle my balls in one hand and play with my asshole with the other. But don't stick your finger in. Then i'll want to pinky you and put it in your friend's brown, while Silent Bob spanks into a dixie cup. After that, I'll want to smell your titties for a while, and you can pull my nutsack up over my dick, so it looks like a bullfrog. Then i want you to flick at my nuts while your friend spanks me into the same dixie cup Silent Bob jizzed in. Then we throw the dixie cup out.


[This message has been edited by JofaGuht (edited 04-11-2002).]

[A Canadian ThereWolf]

BUMP!

ThereWolf just thought he'd bring this one back to life, since it was one of his favorite topics last year;
So here's some more great cussing in movies;

Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back:
Jay: All you motherfuckers are gonna pay, You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all fucking next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut:
Terrence: You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip!
Phillip: Terrance, why would you call me a pig-fucker?
Terrence: Well, let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs.
Phillip: Oh yeah!

[Subotai]

"I'm gonna fucking kill ya, I'm gonna fucking cook ya, and I'm gonna fucking eat ya." - Die Hard

[bigred760]

Snatch - the whole movie basically

Pulp Fiction - the whole movie

[Hannibal21]

FUCK! MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!! DO YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW FUCKING STUPID YOU ARE? SHIT! FUCK! - Butch, Pulp Fiction

[Adam J. Hakari]

Two follow up on previous posts by Arto:

A FISH CALLED WANDA: Kevin Kline's simple, consice, "Asshooooole!"

PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES: The rental agent's two-word reply to Steve Martin's rant. Classic moment.

[Squid Vicious]

Whenever Samuel L. Jackson says "motherfucker".

[Golden Badtz]

Jay and silent bob strike back.... the best swearing film ever.
and every QT film ... obviously

[stewiegriffin]

Originally posted by Toby
Good call on clerks!!
This one's good also:

from Usual Suspects
Cop: Number 1, step forward.
Hockney: Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker.
Cop: Number 2, step forward.
McManus: Give me the fucking keys, you fucking cocksucking motherfucker, aaarrrghh!
Cop: Knock it off! Get back! Number 3, step forward.
Fenster: Hand me the keys, you cocksucker!
Cop: In English, please?
Fenster: Excuse me?
Cop: In English.
Fenster: Hand me the fucking keys, you cocksucker, what the fuck?


[This message has been edited by Toby (edited 07-23-2001).]

Fuck yeah me and my friends still do that shit sometimes when were all fucked up that whole scene kills me.

Also Full Metal Jacket When R. Lee Ermey asks that guy " How tall are boy?"
soldier: 6'2
Ermey" "I didn't know they piled shit that high"

The whole South Park movie

[Michael_myers]

Some classic one-liners:

Network:

Diana (Faye Dunaway): and next time I send out an audience rating report, y'all better read it or I'll sack the fucking lot of you. Set me up an appoinment.....

Just the way she says it in passing classic.

Chinatown:

Secretary: Mr Gittes, Mrs Mulwray is on the other line
Gittes: *to chattering friends* shut the fuck up!

[A Canadian ThereWolf]

Originally posted by arto_j
I don't think anyone mentioned Planes, Trains & Automobiles:

" I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

That one was fucking hilarious, ThereWolf just watched that movie the other day and killed himself laughing at that scene!

[BadCoverVersion]

Not so much the LANGUAGE, but the delivery...

SCUM

"Vegetarians? I've SHIT 'em!"

"Right Carlin, I run this fuckin' gaff...and you're dead if you come any of it in 'ere!"
"Leave off will ya'...I don't GIVE A FUCK who the Daddy is, I don't want no trouble so just piss off and let me get on with me time!"
"We'll give you time you ba'stard!"

"You FUCKIN' CUNT!"

"Right Pongo you ba'stard, I'm the Daddy...next time I'll FUCKIN' KILL YA'!"

"Where's your tool?"
"What fucking tool?"
"THIS fucking tool!"

[Harry Hood]

Tell me what's in the fucking box

shut the fuck up donnie

No fuckin' way! You fuckin' notice this? I got fuckin' shot in the face! I went and got the fuckin' money! I got shot pickin' it up! I've been up for 36 fuckin' hours! I'm takin' that fuckin' car! That fucker's mine!

-are you ok?
-I don't know, I'm generally pretty fucked up , so it's hard to gauge.

I am... in a world... of shit...

So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls. Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. (withdraws his gun) And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!


I don't thikn these need the movies stated

[PsycoPat]

Sgt. Hartman (Full Metal Jacket)...

"Are you quitting on me? Then Quit you worthless piece shit! Get the fuck off a my obstacle...Move it! Get the Fuck off my obstacle! I'm gonna rip your nuts off so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world...I will motivate you Private Pyle, if it short dicks every cannibal on the congo!!!"

Al Capone (the Untouchables)...

"What am I alone in this world? Did I ask you what your trying to do? I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burnt to the ground! I want to go there in the middle of the night and piss on his ashes!!!"

I know I'll think of more later...

[A Canadian ThereWolf]

BASEketball:
Cooper: Hey pigfucker, can I call you pigfucker?
Reemer: No, only my friends can call me pigfucker.

Reemer: Your bed is over here.
[indicates a dog bed]
"Squeak": Dude, that is so fuckin' weak! How am I supposed to get a chick in that?
Cooper: Oh, don't worry, dude. You couldn't get a chick if you had a hundred dollar bill hanging out of your zipper.
Kenny "Squeak": Yeah I could.
Reemer: No. Dude, you're a little bitch!
"Squeak": I am not! I don't even know why I hang out with you guys, anyway.
Cooper: 'Cause you're a piece of shit.
"Squeak": I am not a piece of shit!
Reemer: Yeah, but you're a little bitch.
"Squeak": Goddammit! I swear if you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times... I'm outta here!

Cooper: We graduated with your daughter.
Britanny's Dad: YOU graduated?!?
[Both Cooper & Reemer laugh]
Cooper: Of course we graduated, cock, beer?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

[Jasonite]

The first two that came to mind are Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and Glengarry Glen ross.


J

[Haddonfield]

My fave...

The Breakfast Club

"Stupid, worthless, no good God damn freeloading son of a bitch, no it all retarded asshole freak jerk!

You for got ugly, lazy, and disrepectful....

Shut up bitch! Go fix me a turky pot pie.

No dad, what about you?

Fuck you

No dad, what agout You?

Fuck You!

NO DAD WHAT ABOUT YOU!!!

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!"

[A Canadian ThereWolf]

Donnie Darko

Donnie: You are such a fuckass!
Elizabeth: Did you just call me a fuckass?! You can go suck a fuck!
Donnie: Oh, please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?!

----------------------------------------------------------------

Samantha: What's a fuckass?

[EvilDeadGirl]

Favorite line from Speed......."Fuck Me." Keanu Reeves (however the hell you sp his name.)

Jay - "The whole fuckin' world's against us I sware to god."

Once more pop into my head I'll post em.

[mr_gamecube]

Well it is not the best but the funniest:
Blade II

[Grim H.]

Okay, I know people brought up South Park before...so, what's it going to hurt if I bring it up again, right...?


Kyle: "Don't call my mom a bitch you fat fuck!"
Cartman: "Don't call me fat you buttfucking son of a bitch!"

Because sometimes it's appropriate to swear....you bastard... :D

[Annie Hall]

True Romance

"Marty! Y'know what we got here? Motherfuckin' Charlie Bronson! Mr. Majestyk!"

"Now the first time you kill somebody, that's the hardest. I don't give a shit if you're fuckin' Wyatt Earp or Jack the Ripper. Remember that guy in Texas? The guy up in that fuckin' tower that killed all them people? I'll bet you green money that first little black dot he took a bead on, that was the bitch of the bunch. First one is tough, no fuckin' foolin'. The second one... the second one ain't no fuckin' Mardis Gras either, but it's better than the first one 'cause you still feel the same thing, y'know... except it's more diluted, y'know it's... it's better. I threw up on the first one, you believe that? Then the third one... the third one is easy, you level right off. It's no problem. Now... shit... now I do it just to watch their fuckin' expression change."

"Well, he ain't so much a good guy as he is just a bad mother fucker. I mean, he gets paid by people to fuck guys up. "

[Tom Samborski]

National Lampoon's Vacation

Clark Griswald: "I think you're all fucked in the head! We're (something) miles from the nearest exit, and you all want to bail out! Well I'll tell you something, this isn't a vacation, this is a quest. A quest to have fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun. We're gonna have so much fucking fun, we're gonna need the plastic surgeon to wipe the faces off our goddamn smiles! Look at me, I'm driving across the country for a moose! Praise Marty Moose, holy shit!"

[Frank the Tank]

Heathers

Heather Duke - Veronica, Why are you pulling my dick

Kurt Kelly - Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a no fags rule?
J.D. - Well, they seem to have a open door policy for assholes don't they

Heather Chandler - You stupid Fuck!
Veronica Sawyer - You Goddamn bitch!
Heather Chandler - I brought you to a Remington party and whats my thanks? It's on a hallway carpet. I got paid in puke.
Veronica Sawyer - Lick it up baby, lick it up.

Stand By Me

Vern - Ha! Ha! Very funny, what am I gonna eat?
Teddy - Why don't you eat your dick?
Chris - It'll be a small meal.

Milo - Looney, looney, looney.
Teddy - I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck.

The Terminator

Superintendent - Hey buddy, you got a dead cat in their or what.
(T-800 visualizes: Possible responses Yes/No, Or What, Please come back later/ Fuck You, Fuck You, asshole)
T-800 - Fuck You, Asshole

[::salty::]

Any of Johnny Depp's exclamations in Once Upon A Time In Mexico.

"I can't see Fuckmook!"

[Frank the Tank]

How can I forget about House of 1000 Corpses

Fuck Your Mama
Fuck Your Sister
Fuck Your Grandma
And most of all Fuck You

[A Canadian ThereWolf]

Christmas Vacation:

Clark W. Griswold: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Clark W. Griswold: Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

[syxxpac]

Joe Pesci and Eddie Murphy are kings of verbal stings. Their swearing is almost poetic :p

[docholiday_13]

"You listen to me you fucking piece of junkie shit. A jokes a fucking joke, you mention that again and I'll cut you up"

-Francis Begbie

[Shakamaker]

The Big Lebowski. This one's in the delivery..

Nihilist: I fuck you in the ass, I fuck you in the ass, I fuck you, I fuck you, I fuck you, I fuck ...

Igby Goes Down

Sookie: He's your brother, you act like you hate him.
Igby: I do! I do hate him. He's totally hateable! Evil niblet fuck.

Snatch

Brick Top: Gimme that fucking shooter!
Pikey: I'll give you that fucking shooter you cunt hair.
[Blam! Blam!]

[A Canadian ThereWolf]

Chasing Amy

Holden: Well, did you ever see a nun call an eight year old kid a fucking cunt-rag?!?

[drunkenangel]

Always love Dennis Farina in Get Shorty :

Ray Bones: They say the fucking smog is the fucking reason you have such beautiful fucking sunsets.

One of my favourite lines in the movie :D

Oh, and Joe Pesci is always fun to watch too :)

[Shockwave]

SOUTH PARK: The Movie

"Uncle Fucker" has got to be the catchiest tune that never want to here your self humming in public!:D

[dollface]

Originally posted by jeffrey_2112
Christmas Vacation:
Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!
and
I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah!

Goodfellas:
Spider: Why don't you go fuck yourself, Tommy?

Taxi Driver:
Travis: Hey, I'm not square, you're the one square. Your full of shit, man. What are you talking about? You walk out with those fuckin' creeps and low-lifes and degenerates out on the streets and you sell your little pussies for nothing, man? For some low-life pimp who stands in the hall? And I'm square? You're the one square, man. I don't go screwing fuck with bunch of killers and junkies like you do. You call that hip? What world are you from?

Travis: Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up.

Betsy: Taking me to a place like this is about as exciting as saying to me "Let's fuck." (funny cause it seemed weird hearing Cybill Shepherd saying it) I love the Christmas Vacation quote and what about the original Vacation when he freaks out in the car at everyone....."we are going to have so much fucking fun that you will be singing zip-be-de-doo-da out of your assholes" that makes me laugh everytime I hear it

[tbone]

I havn't really been reading over the posts, but I think Planes, Trains and Automobiles used profanity wonderfully, and more realistic use of it. Though you gotta love it Goodfellas as well.

[imkmk]

The opening scene in way of the gun were the chick goes
nuts on Ryan P. It goes something like

"get the fuck off the car
Hey fuck suck get you your slippery fucking ass off the
fucking car"

Ryan responds

"shut that cunt's mouth before I come over there and fuck start her head."

She responds

"your gonna wish you never fucking got up this morning cause my
boyfriends gonna fuck you up and then after you while he's fucking up your fucking gay uncle I'm gonna cut off your fucking cock and mail it to your mother you fucking fagot, gambler fucking fagot"

well you get the picture.
Any QT movie has great swearing

[A Canadian ThereWolf]

The 6th Day

Adam Gibson: You should clone yourself while you're still alive.
Drucker: So I can get a perspective on your situation?
Adam Gibson: No, so you can fuck yourself!

[arby19]

Originally posted by Brock Landers


"Clerks"...
Randal Graves: Obviously. Yeah, hello, this is RST
Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an
order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes:
"Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It
Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning",
"All Tit-Fucking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock",
"Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My Cunt Needs
Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts",
"Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On
Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum",
"Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy
Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard
Cock". Uh-huh...yeah...Oh, wait, and, what was that
called again?




[/B]

That was the most hilarious scence I have ever seen in all of movie history!

[Could Be Worse]

I just really like the line, "Evil niblet fuck," from Igby Goes Down.

[A Canadian ThereWolf]

My First Mister

"Fuck You!"
"Fuck You!"
"Fuck You!"
"Fuck You, All Eight Of You!!!"

[The Mang]

Originally posted by Toby
Good call on clerks!!
This one's good also:

from Usual Suspects
Cop: Number 1, step forward.
Hockney: Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker.
Cop: Number 2, step forward.
McManus: Give me the fucking keys, you fucking cocksucking motherfucker, aaarrrghh!
Cop: Knock it off! Get back! Number 3, step forward.
Fenster: Hand me the keys, you cocksucker!
Cop: In English, please?
Fenster: Excuse me?
Cop: In English.
Fenster: Hand me the fucking keys, you cocksucker, what the fuck?


[This message has been edited by Toby (edited 07-23-2001).]

lmao I laugh every time I see that scene

"FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, you're cool (old lady gives a thumbs up), FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, I'm OUT." - Half Baked