ICE PRINCESS looks like a giant, flaming piece of merde

[A.J. Hakari]

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005JNR2.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Next to Chicken Selects ads, Uwe Boll, and the neverending chain of Satanic sonnets known as Kidz Bop CD's, few things cheese me off more than these ICE PRINCESS ads. Seriously, I thought these ads looked cheesy, but kinda cute at first, but after seeing the trailer for the umpteenth time before THE PACIFIER earlier yesterday and just a few minutes ago on TV, I realize what a cringe-inducing movie it looks like. Here's the number of strikes the flick already has against it:

1) A story that's been done fifteen million times before and doesn't look like much more freshness is being brought to the table.

2) A slew of rival ice skaters who will more than likely start the movie hating Michelle Trachtenberg's guts and end the movie admiring her determination. Wow, how orgasmically ironic! :rolleyes:

3) Smart-ass, "cute" little kids; namely, the little girl in the trailer who demands Michelle not squish her in a cutesy little voice that would be welcome on any Kidz Bop album.

4) Standard movie mom who exists to crush her kid's dreams until, right on cue, decides that she really needs to let her daughter follow her heart. Right, as if trying out ice-skating is really what's ruining the education of our nation's teenagers.

5) Scene at a party. Michelle accidentally steps into a bucket of ice. Dumbass Dude says, "You just can't stay off the ice, can you?" I shoot Dumbass Dude. There is much rejoicing.

I'll probably end up seeing this presumable piece of crap. But I just hope I'm not alone out there in having to mop up the blood pouring from my ocular cavities after seeing these trailers over and over again...

I hope. :(

[JurassicMik]

So when did Satan start making movies.

[A.J. Hakari]

Originally posted by JurassicMik
So when did Satan start making movies.

After he got bored with this...

http://www.musicspacekids.com/images/images_large/L_MS9089.jpg

Kinda like a sucky GET SHORTY and BE COOL in reverse, eh?

[ilovemovies]

It doesn't look that bad to me. My only complaint of the trailer is that the ice skating scenes in the trailer look pretty fake. It definately looks like Michelle Tractenberg (sp?) has had some cgi (or something) help with her ice skating.

But the movie itself looks like harmless fluff.

[jackson13]

Sadly, it'll open at #1.

(Unless it opens against The Ring twO, in which Samara Morgan will OWN it.)

[Ted Pikul]

Of course it looks like shit.

Michelle Trachtenberg is in it.

[C-Desecration-]

Of course it looks like shit.

Michelle Trachtenberg is in it.

Oh come on, she wasn't that bad in buffy.
For . . . for a few episodes.

But this really, really does look terrible. And hey, I think pacifier looks cute! Not this. "You're beautiful!" "Wow!" Dawn is not making very good career decisions. ANy movie where she falls down every fifteen minutes, dodge.
Unless this movie is actually really good, and they're just advertising it like shit so on opening day they can go "Haha! You though it was bad but it's actually good!"
Studios are big pranksters.

[Duke Nukem]

I'm sorry to break the bubble, but this is a very pointless rant. This is a kids movie not a teen or adult movie that us older, more experienced movie fans are meant to go to. It is meant for kids, not for us schmoes. But just for the heck of it...

Cliched formula sports films and the like have been being made and recycled for years. There are always going to be cliched formula sports films like this. The point is whether it feels fresh or not, which is up to anybody to decide. For example, last year's "Miracle" felt pretty fresh as the umpteenth hockey movie ever made. But still...

It is just a kids movie. We aren't meant to see it and we aren't its target audience. So, even if you go see it, you have to consider the target audience and how it will effect them kiddies over your like/dislike for it. Keep that in mind here.

[countchocula]

I agree with Duke. Yes, Ice Princess is pure schmaltz, but that's the whole point. It's critic-proof. Plus, there's a hot blonde in it, which justifies the film's existence.

[C-Desecration-]

Were not kicking back and yelling for her to take her top off, or, or maybe think she should get in an accident and have a hardened war veteran teach her to skate again, and together, they solve the case of a local serial killer. Hell, me and ilove think the pacifier looks good too, for that sort of fair (but then I just like those types of movies, just like I have a thing for romantic comedies, formulatic or not). I think we're all taking the demographic into account.
And so are the small numbers of people who will likely bother to see this, just as Raise your voice completely tanked (didn't it?). You can tell when movies hit the bullseye because they are successes. I'll bet ice princess is going to die within about, what, two weeks, if it doesn't KO on arrival.

One of these days someone is going to write a good movie for young girls. And then we won't be complaining. And you know what, I have a feeling that movie, whenever it comes, will be a big success.

[A.J. Hakari]

Originally posted by C-Desecration-
One of these days someone is going to write a good movie for young girls. And then we won't be complaining. And you know what, I have a feeling that movie, whenever it comes, will be a big success.

Exactamundo.

My complaint with ICE PRINCESS is that it looks like a crappy movie, but one of the reasons why is because its story is the same repetitive slop that's been aimed at teen girls year after year and has had no effect whatsoever. This makes the filmmakers come off as lazy and wasteful; hell, maybe ICE PRINCESS is really a great film and is just ruined by a lousy trailer, so I won't know for sure until I see it. But my outlook is rather dim. I want to see more of films like REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES, with heart, soul, and depth to them, and less of thrown-together, hackneyed products like the movie ICE PRINCESS looks to be.

[jeo4]

It's a teen movie from Disney...the same company who brought you:

Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera
Justin Timberlake
Hillary Duff
Lindsey Lohan
Anne Hathaway

...of course it's shit.

[TheDeadWalk]

Originally posted by jeo4
It's a teen movie from Disney...the same company who brought you:

Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera
Justin Timberlake
Hillary Duff
Lindsey Lohan
Anne Hathaway

...of course it's shit.

If I were to make rants on all the shit disney and the like put out, I would stop typing in this rant forum only to eat and shit.

[jeo4]

Originally posted by TheDeadWalk
If I were to make rants on all the shit disney and the like put out, I would stop typing in this rant forum only to eat and shit.

:D

If I couldn't laugh at this fact, I'd be depressed.

[Moviefan02000]

I don't think it looks terrible, it looks quite cute actually. I might see it in theaters, but The Ring Two is my number one of the weekend, I won't be able to see it until Sunday thought because the school performance of Beauty and the Beast, which I'm in, is that Friday and Saturday night :(

[TheDeadWalk]

You spoke too soon Hakari.

Lindsay Lohan stars in a sequel to Herbie the lovebug called: "Herbie: Fully loaded"

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005JNUY.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg


COMING JUNE 24TH!!!!!!!!!!!

[AJAX]

ole Walt has spun in his grave so many times he has woven his own cocoon.

[A.J. Hakari]

Originally posted by TheDeadWalk
You spoke too soon Hakari.

Lindsay Lohan stars in a sequel to Herbie the lovebug called: "Herbie: Fully loaded"

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005JNUY.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg


COMING JUNE 24TH!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah, fuck. :mad:

Eh, no worries. I can always post the same rant, except change everything from ICE PRINCESS to HERBIE.

[ilovemovies]

Originally posted by TheDeadWalk
You spoke too soon Hakari.

Lindsay Lohan stars in a sequel to Herbie the lovebug called: "Herbie: Fully loaded"

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00005JNUY.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg


COMING JUNE 24TH!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep! I think Ice Princess looks decent, but despite having Michael Keaton in it, Herbie looks extremely lame!

[Grim H.]

Originally posted by C-Desecration-



Unless this movie is actually really good, and they're just advertising it like shit so on opening day they can go "Haha! You though it was bad but it's actually good!"
Studios are big pranksters.

Somehow I don't think that advertising a 'good' movie to look like crap would be effective. I don't know, it seems they'd want to make it look as good as possible.

Those sly disney pranksters...I know their game...

[Grim H.]

Woah, I didn't even think about this!

from dictionary.com

Main Entry: merde
Part of Speech: interjection
Definition: crap!, shit!; an expression of annoyance, disgust, or exasperation
Etymology: French
Usage: slang


Ha, thank you, AJ! I've got a new interjection I'm going to start using!

[Mr.HyDe807]

Cmon schmoes, never underestimate the power of HARRIET THE SPY!

Yeah, this movie is gonna blow

[A.J. Hakari]

Originally posted by Grim H.
Ha, thank you, AJ! I've got a new interjection I'm going to start using!

Don't thank me, thank the French. :D

[outsyder]

Originally posted by Adam J. Hakari
Don't thank me, thank the French. :D



Ah, tabernacle. :rolleyes:

[Grim H.]

Originally posted by Adam J. Hakari
Don't thank me, thank the French. :D

You mean, like, James Logan?







Huzzzah!!!!

[daddiefatsacks]

this is the type of movie i go see wearing nothing but a trench coat

[Heavenley]

I think it looks cute.....and has a Princess diaries vibe to it.....besides we need to have a variety of movies....not everyone is the same age and has the same movie preferences. They make movies to appeal to everyone.

[C-Desecration-]

Well looks like ice princess isn't half bad. Getting pretty good reviews. It's fresh on rottentomatoes.com.

Those whacky pranksters.

[ilovemovies]

Yep. The reviews have been shockingly decent.

[Grim H.]

Originally posted by C-Desecration-

Those whacky pranksters.

This is why I don't gamble.

[A.J. Hakari]

Okay, so it wasn't a flaming pile of merde...but it was definitely steaming, that's for sure...