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View Full Version : Jessica Alba says come on down!

Layer Change
03-08-2005, 12:53 PM
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2004580002-2005100513,00.html

I'd grab a snack from the fridge on the way out...
Weapon X
03-08-2005, 05:25 PM
*WX blinks, makes sure he's reading the article correctly, then runs off into the distance leaving only a trail of smoke to mark his whereabouts*

I'M COMIN', JESS! :D
James Logan
03-08-2005, 05:37 PM
All right, I think I'm in love. ;)

I'd give the usual "Jessica, I'm on my way!" or "Jessica, you know my phone number!" joke, but here's all I have to say:

Jessica -- call all my old girls and ask them if you want to make sure. I always leave in the morning. Even when the girl doesn't expect or want me to. Really, sometimes to her it's a complete surprise, but I still do it -- I'm that polite, you know. I'm not clingy. I get called in, I come in, do a job, and I leave, don't even wait around for breakfast -- rarely even ask for a tip. And I'm hung like a wild bear, and not just any wild bear, I mean the Rocco Siffredi of fucking wild bears. And I can use it, and yadda yadda yadda, can't really go into it because there might be kids around, but really. I do the job well. I mean, seriously, would I brag about it so much if I were insecure about it? No-ho-ho!

So gimme a call sometime. ;)
B1rd_Po0p
03-08-2005, 06:41 PM
Originally posted by James Logan
I'm not clingy. I get called in, I come in, do a job, and I leave
And I'm hung like a wild bear, and not just any wild bear, I mean the Rocco Siffredi of fucking wild bears. And I can use it, and yadda yadda yadda, I do the job well.

Damn dude. Why don't you give ME a call some time??? ;)
ChemicalRomance
03-08-2005, 07:15 PM
"Hey, I said only if you leave!"
"Uh, I don't know...but we're glued together somehow..."
Buck Turgidson
03-08-2005, 07:41 PM
She's always said that she considers Angelina a role model...:D
FilmBuff84
03-08-2005, 07:50 PM
Gotta love the Alba
KcMsterpce
03-08-2005, 08:19 PM
I... I ... I can't breathe...

Jesus.... !!!

Ahhh!

It's too much! I can't stand it! I want her!:(
jeo4
03-08-2005, 09:24 PM
I don't believe anything from a rag like the Sun.
Layer Change
03-08-2005, 10:32 PM
Originally posted by jeo4
I don't believe anything from a rag like the Sun.
Yeah I know, but I thought it'd be a fun post anyway. :D Besides, the Sun is quoting Cosmopolitan. If that makes any difference...lol.
Scarface98.9
03-08-2005, 11:09 PM
I don't believe anything I hear from The Sun, however, it's ironic to me that for a girl who refuses to go nude for any movie (Sin City is the closest we'll get), if the article is true (and likely isn't), seems quite free w/ sleeping around if it tickles her fancy
Adam J. Hakari
03-08-2005, 11:25 PM
This and the Taratino/ULTIMATE JASON tidbit are two rumors that are most likely untrue, and yet I so want them to be true...
adamjohnson
03-08-2005, 11:45 PM
*Grabs lotion*




































Aww, TOO FAR!!!
syxxpac
03-08-2005, 11:57 PM
Originally posted by adamjohnson
*Grabs lotion*




































Aww, TOO FAR!!!

There's edgy and there's offensive. Good day, sir.

*holds head high and walks off*

:p
James Logan
03-09-2005, 05:10 AM
Originally posted by B1rd_Po0p
Damn dude. Why don't you give ME a call some time??? ;)

I will. I don't have your phone number, but I will. I'll keep calling phone numbers at random, asking "Hello, is Bird Poop there?" or "Good evening, ma'am, could I talk to Bird Poop, please?" until someone finally calls the cops and has me sent to the institute. ;)
Kimmy
03-12-2005, 12:49 PM
Originally posted by Buck Turgidson
She's always said that she considers Angelina a role model...:D

LOL
jeo4
03-12-2005, 07:38 PM
Originally posted by Buck Turgidson
She's always said that she considers Angelina a role model...:D

Well, there's a strike against her...:D
Nachokoolaid
03-12-2005, 09:29 PM
Damn, there's enough sexual tension in this thread to compact some cars, crush some Coke cans, and squeeze the zits on Dennis Franz's ass. And damn, that's a lot of tension.

Everyone, please join me in taking a cold shower. Wait, that sounded sexually charged too!
Patrick Bateman
03-13-2005, 07:51 AM
Well I just took shower. But you guys feel free to use the body gels, and body scrubs!
I'll be over here at the mirror, applying my Marine Revitalizing Facial Masque. ;)

Jessica -- call all my old girls and ask them if you want to make sure. I always leave in the morning. Even when the girl doesn't expect or want me to. Really, sometimes to her it's a complete surprise, but I still do it -- I'm that polite, you know. I'm not clingy. I get called in, I come in, do a job, and I leave, don't even wait around for breakfast -- rarely even ask for a tip. And I'm hung like a wild bear, and not just any wild bear, I mean the Rocco Siffredi of fucking wild bears. And I can use it, and yadda yadda yadda, can't really go into it because there might be kids around, but really. I do the job well. I mean, seriously, would I brag about it so much if I were insecure about it? No-ho-ho!

So gimme a call sometime.

Quite possibly one of the best posts so far this year. Cheers! :)
B1rd_Po0p
03-13-2005, 09:36 AM
Originally posted by Nachokoolaid
Everyone, please join me in taking a cold shower. Wait, that sounded sexually charged too!

*Hops in the shower w/ Nacho*... Could you please soap up my back? I can never quite reach that spot in the middle... ;)
James Logan
03-13-2005, 12:13 PM
Originally posted by Patrick Bateman

Quite possibly one of the best posts so far this year. Cheers! :)

Why, thank you. :)

Originally posted by B1rd_Po0p
*Hops in the shower w/ Nacho*... Could you please soap up my back? I can never quite reach that spot in the middle... ;)

*Logan jumps across the bathroom à la BODYGUARD, tackling Nacho along the way, and taking care of B1rd's back*

Hmm. I wonder how long it's gonna take for someone to tell us to calm the fuck down or they'll close this thread. ;)
B1rd_Po0p
03-13-2005, 12:25 PM
Originally posted by James Logan
Hmm. I wonder how long it's gonna take for someone to tell us to calm the fuck down or they'll close this thread. ;)

... Aren't YOU a moderator? ;)
syxxpac
03-13-2005, 12:58 PM
Originally posted by B1rd_Po0p
... Aren't YOU a moderator? ;)

Not when naked hotties are in the fold. The fact that said hottie is showering and lathering up only worsens his, ahem, condition.

We keep telling that Frenchman to seek help, but he won't listen :(

:D
James Logan
03-14-2005, 07:31 AM
'Elp? 'elp? I don't need 'elp, you crazy Américain!

But syxxpac is right. Naked hotties completely neutralize my moderator powers, especially when they're really hot hotties, and talking about sex and/or showering. It's my kryptonite.

JoBlo knew it when he hired me. ;)
Digifruitella
03-14-2005, 03:37 PM
tharr she blowz ;)
jeo4
03-14-2005, 04:33 PM
Originally posted by .Digifruitella.
tharr she blowz ;)

Don't you mean "thar HE blowz"? Or hell, "thar they blow" would be good too.

My how one topic gives everyone a walking hard-on. :D
B1rd_Po0p
03-14-2005, 07:03 PM
Originally posted by jeo4
Don't you mean "thar HE blowz"? Or hell, "thar they blow" would be good too.

I guess it all depends on who's getting blown and who's doing the blowing... but anyway...

How 'bout that Jessica Alba, eh? :D
Layer Change
03-14-2005, 07:33 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v255/tealfan/Smileys/popc1.gif
James Logan
03-15-2005, 08:36 AM
Originally posted by Layer Change
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v255/tealfan/Smileys/popc1.gif

All right, every post in here's been somewhat funny so far (and B1rd_Po0p, by the way, hubba. Keep this up and you'll soon be beating all the records on my Sexy-O-Meter), but this is definitely the funniest one.

Well done, Junior Schmoe, well done! ;)
Layer Change
03-15-2005, 07:28 PM
Originally posted by James Logan
All right, every post in here's been somewhat funny so far (and B1rd_Po0p, by the way, hubba. Keep this up and you'll soon be beating all the records on my Sexy-O-Meter), but this is definitely the funniest one.

Well done, Junior Schmoe, well done! ;)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v255/tealfan/Smileys/blushing.gif
The Heart Collector
03-17-2005, 07:33 PM
*MASTURBATES*
Shockwave
03-18-2005, 04:54 PM
She's always said that she considers Angelina a role model...

Things are looking good!:p
syxxpac
03-18-2005, 05:30 PM
Originally posted by The Heart Collector
*MASTURBATES*

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/misc7.jpg

Heart Collector's post has been deemed INDECENT by the FCC and will now be edited for moral decency and Good Christian consumption.

*MASTATES*

Praise the lord!

*burns homosexual literature for no apparent reason*
Layer Change
03-18-2005, 10:14 PM
*forwards Jessica's GQ pics to Angelina Jolie*

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/000763.html
Grim H.
03-18-2005, 10:21 PM
Looks like I turned 18 just in time. ;)
EvilEd
03-19-2005, 03:57 AM
Thanks a lot Layer. Finally some really great Alba pics.

Anyone got any bigger pics of the two behind the pack ass shots? Please!!! :D
James Logan
03-19-2005, 05:20 AM
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/ja14.jpg

Come on down, she says. I want no-strings-attached sex, she says. I want one-night stands where the guy leaves after the sex without having to cuddle and do all the boyfriend-girlfriend shit, she says. I just want sex, she says.

And then she goes and has these pictures taken.

Time to investigate which mad German geneticist stole my recipe for the perfect woman.
Shockwave
03-19-2005, 02:05 PM
Time to investigate which mad German geneticist stole my recipe for the perfect woman.

ahhhh Logan, cheating on Angelina already are we?

..but then again, she seems like the type to welcome the company.;)
adamjohnson
03-19-2005, 02:54 PM
Man.

Oddly, Im suddenly very depressed because of this thread. Why cant The Johnson secure someone so... delicious?
thedudeman69
03-19-2005, 03:17 PM
Originally posted by Layer Change
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/000763.html

*splatters all over computer screen*
syxxpac
03-19-2005, 05:16 PM
Originally posted by adamjohnson
Oddly, Im suddenly very depressed because of this thread. Why cant The Johnson secure someone so... delicious?

...

Er...You're not going to start referring to yourself in the third person, are you? :p
adamjohnson
03-19-2005, 05:17 PM
The Johnson shall decree no response to this positively ludicrous statement.
syxxpac
03-19-2005, 06:01 PM
The Pac respectfully abdicates aggravating The Johnson.
James Logan
03-19-2005, 07:10 PM
Originally posted by Shockwave
ahhhh Logan, cheating on Angelina already are we?

..but then again, she seems like the type to welcome the company.;)

Exactly. Angie's like me, she's a free spirit. ;)
sharkstank
03-19-2005, 11:09 PM
id like to give my sincere thanks for the gq pics...and honestly, id only leave in the morning if elisha made me :)

WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO
EvilEd
03-20-2005, 08:54 AM
More Pics!
EvilEd
03-21-2005, 10:12 AM
http://img226.exs.cx/img226/2846/gqhq023fd.jpg

http://img226.exs.cx/img226/4407/gqhq032aj.jpg

http://img226.exs.cx/img226/4546/gqhq049xn.jpg

http://img226.exs.cx/img226/3572/gqhq059kc.jpg

I think my penis is about to explode. Good god man! :eek:
James Logan
03-21-2005, 06:17 PM
I wanna be a photographer now.
jeo4
03-21-2005, 08:04 PM
Changed my mind again.
jeo4
03-22-2005, 10:04 AM
As usual, I thought of about 10,000 comments about those pics. She is gorgeous, no doubt about it. But there's more to life than being eye candy. And she seems like she would be rather high-maintenance. Oh well. Good luck to the bloke with the chops and the bank account to have a go at it.
EvilEd
03-22-2005, 10:10 AM
She's worth the money. :)
kamisama
04-18-2005, 07:34 PM
Good times... good times.:D
KcMsterpce
04-18-2005, 10:19 PM
One of my classmates went to school with her, and says she's a bitch.

I was like, "So! She's HOT, man! I never said I wanted to get to KNOW her!" ;)

Those pics were nice, sorta. My friend caught me licking the screen as he walked back from the restroom. Thanks for the embarrassment.
Layer Change
04-30-2005, 11:42 PM
Just wanted to celebrate my graduation to Senior Schmoe status with a couple Jessica Alba pics.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v255/tealfan/Misc/jess_beach_1_500.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v255/tealfan/Misc/jess_beach_2_500.jpg

I believe that's James Logan on the left - trying to cop a feel. :D

More here: http://www.superiorpics.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/698074/an//page/0/vc/1
James Logan
05-01-2005, 08:57 AM
Originally posted by Layer Change

I believe that's James Logan on the left - trying to cop a feel. :D


Yup. Me and my trademark black speedo.

:cool: