Celebrities Who Should Be Slapped Silly

[TheAxeGrinder]

After hearing all about Paris Hilton's stupidity for the past few weeks, it's only fair that a thread like this should be created to honour (and humiliate) celebrities and their exploits, specifically their moronic and asinine kind.

Paris Hilton - for being the spaced out stupid bimbo slut everyone knows she is

Nick Carter - for putting fellow Backstreet Boy AJ's drinking to shame

Lindsay Lohan - for the constant bitching and talk of her psycho dad

[Jon Lyrik]

Michael Jackson.

[jeo4]

My thoughts exactly, Jon.

[ilovemovies]

Originally posted by TheAxeGrinder


Lindsay Lohan - for the constant bitching and talk of her psycho dad

Lohan's father sounds like a real creep so I wouldn't blame her for that.

[Patrick Bateman]

Ashlee Simpson - For being a bitch.

Ashlee Simpson's Father - For being a prick.

Jon Voight - For being an asshole, and for making a spectacle of his issues concerning his daughter aired out on national television.

Hugh Hefner - For the account that Playboy named Paris the "Sex Star" of the year.

George Lucas - For his apathy towards "Star Wars" fans opinions.

Pitof - For the sheer hell of it.

Fred Durst - For having sex. Period.

[James Logan]

Originally posted by Jon Lyrik
Michael Jackson.

Yeah, but slapping him involves touching him. I wouldn't dare. Even with gloves.

Maybe if we could get one of those bionic mechanical and just use the remote control to go slap! slapl! slap! ("Oh! His cheek fell off!").

[Dead Halloween]

Paris Hilton

Sean Penn

[jeo4]

Lots of good additions here. Add Angelina Jolie for being a complete psycho.

[B1rd_Po0p]

Originally posted by Jon Lyrik
Michael Jackson.

Don't slap him too hard, Jon. His nose might fly off...

[TheAxeGrinder]

Originally posted by Jon Lyrik
Michael Jackson.

I guess I should've pointed out that after naming the celeb-to-be-slapped, you should give a valid reason.









But it's Michael Jackson, so yeah, you don't need a valid reason.

[Flesh Mechanic]

Britney Spears
Ashlee Simson
Paris Hilton
And the question is, if I slap Britney or Paris would I be infected with some kind of bitch desease?

[ComeNightfall]

Anna Nicole Smith, for obvious reasons

Lil' Kim for going from this

http://www.nyrock.com/puffy/lil_kim3.jpg

to this:

http://img.stern.de/_content/52/90/529096/lilkim1_262.725779967159.jpg


Ashlee Simpson
Star Jones
Paris Hilton
Tara Reid
Bobby Brown
The Federlines
Mike Tyson

[ilovemovies]

Russell Crowe for his comments about DeNiro and other actors doing commercials.

[James Logan]

Originally posted by jeo4
Add Angelina Jolie for being a complete psycho.

Whoever slaps Angie will have to answer to me. ;)

[B1rd_Po0p]

Originally posted by James Logan
Whoever slaps Angie will have to answer to me. ;)

*Slaps Jolie*

Ok Frenchie - what'cha gonna do now?? ;)

[Joshmo]

OOoohhh Man.... *drooling... I've got a WICKED slap swing hand too boy! It can make a person do a full spin if the wind is at my back. :D

Celebs who need my hand slapping their stupid faces...

Anna Nicole
Courtney Love
Paris & Nicole
Brigeitte Nielson
Flava Flav
Puff Daddy
Kanye
Randy Jackson
Simon Cowell
Oprah Winfrey
Donald Trump
All the bitches from Desperate Housewives
Barbara Walters & all the bitches from the view
Danny Bonaduce
Barry Williams
Diane Sawyer
Martha Stuart
Kati Curic
Dave Chappelle
Ashlee Simpson
Nick and Jessica
George Bush Sr & Jr
Hillary Clinton
Barbra Bush
Condi Rice
John Kerry
Howard Dean
Colin Powell
Donald Rumsfeld
Karl Rove
The entire Supreme Court
Howard Stern
Don Imus
Rush Limbaugh
Sean Hannity
Bill O Reilly
Alan Colmes
Anne Coulter
Dick Morris
Dan Rather
Howard Cronkite
Geraldo Rivera
Jerry Springer
Maury Povich
Andy Rooney

..and I wanna line up the entire Osborne Family and give them one massive Three Stooges slap!

...ditto for the entire fucking Gotti Family as well

[<3mekthx]

Joan and Melissa Rivers. Don't really need an explanation there. What was tv guide thinking?

Sean Penn. For being a joke of a human being.

Osama Bin Laden.(celebrity?, you could make the argument) For wanting to kidnap Russel Crowe. Exchange Russel Crowe with Sean Penn plz thx.

Anna Nicole. Her Trimspa commercials make me want to drown in my own excrement. And people who buy into that bullshit.

All actors who get married.

Josh Schwartz. For fucking up 'the o.c'(castration in addition to slappin)

Nice rant Axe :)

[B1rd_Po0p]

Joshmo's gonna need surgery to repair his hand after all that slapping... (I can help though. I agree with 99.9% of his list...)

[Patrick Bateman]

Ok, I'm curious.

Which one did you not agree with B1rd_Po0p?

[Tagia_Romero]

Originally posted by ComeNightfall

Lil' Kim for going from this

http://www.nyrock.com/puffy/lil_kim3.jpg

to this:

http://img.stern.de/_content/52/90/529096/lilkim1_262.725779967159.jpg




:eek: Oh lord, it's absolutely hideous!!! Why, Kim, why????

[James Logan]

Originally posted by B1rd_Po0p
*Slaps Jolie*

Ok Frenchie - what'cha gonna do now?? ;)

What, you think I have a "don't hit women" rule? Cause I'll kick your curvaceous ass, baby. ;)

Actually, I won't. But it's only because the thought of you and Angelina Jolie in a catfight does sound, well...interesting.

[ComeNightfall]

Damn, how I could I forget Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity? Thanks Joshmo. Oh, and I'm throwing in P.Diddy, Ben Affleck, and Marc Antony for being sucked in by J.Lo.

[Grim H.]

Ashlee Simpson


That is all






That's right!!! I'M BACK!!!

[thedudeman69]

Paula Abdul for supporting untalented hacks.

[brodeurnumber1]

Oh boy....

Uwe Boll
Paul WS Anderson
Paris Hilton
Ashlee Simpson
Pamela Anderson
Nicole Ritchie
Britney Spears
Rush Limbaugh
Bill O'Reily
George Bush Jr/Sr
Bill Clinton
Fred Durst
Rosie O'Donnel
Anna Nicole Smith
Mel Gibson(his current attitude)
P. Diddy
The Whole G-Unit gang
Every Emo and Punk Rock Band
Barbara Bush
Donald Rumsfeld
Jay Leno
Tara Reid
Jose Canseco
Curt Schilling
George Steinbrenner
Anne Coulter
Michael Jackson
Janet Jackson
Michael J. Copps(FCC Prick)
Kobe Bryant
Vince Carter

And so many more.

[ilovemovies]

Originally posted by brodeurnumber1



Jay Leno



Why Jay Leno? He rocks!

[jeo4]

Originally posted by James Logan
Whoever slaps Angie will have to answer to me. ;)

Angelina...darling...

*Slap* Skanky slut! Stop being a psycho!

Bring it...;) :D

[B1rd_Po0p]

Originally posted by Patrick Bateman
Ok, I'm curious.

Which one did you not agree with B1rd_Po0p?

.001%. .. (I didn't recognize all of the names on his list so in all fairness I cannot form an opinion on whether or not they should be slapped.)

:D

[B1rd_Po0p]

Originally posted by ComeNightfall
http://img.stern.de/_content/52/90/529096/lilkim1_262.725779967159.jpg

Dang, be careful! Slap that and those bosoms are gonna come flyin' out and knock you flat!

[jeo4]

Originally posted by ComeNightfall
Anna Nicole Smith, for obvious reasons

Lil' Kim for going from this

http://www.nyrock.com/puffy/lil_kim3.jpg

to this:

http://img.stern.de/_content/52/90/529096/lilkim1_262.725779967159.jpg


Ashlee Simpson
Star Jones
Paris Hilton
Tara Reid
Bobby Brown
The Federlines
Mike Tyson

Perfect list. I love it.

[Tom Samborski]

Lindsay Lohan
Paris Hilton
50 Cent
Donald Trump
Usher
Kayne West
Lil' Jon
Ludacris
Mary-Kate Olsen
Ashley Olsen
Michael Powell (and everyone who works for the fucking FCC)
Justin Timberlake
The idiots who run MTV (for their bullshit reality shows, and the fact that they gave Missy Elliot the "Video of the Year" award over Johnny Cash)
Britney Spears
Kevin Ferdeline
Christina Aguillera
Lil' Kim
Gwen Stefani
Nicole Ritchie
Justin Guarini
Kelly Clarkson
George.W.Bush
Anna Nicole Smith
Axl Rose
Madonna
Jimmy Fallon
Ashlee Simpson
Jessica Simpson
Aaron Carter
Hillary Duff
Jon Heder
Fred Durst
JoJo
Ashanti
Ja Rule
R.Kelly (get back to prison, you sick fuck)
Kristie Alley
The entire cast of the O.C (for turning a cheap rip-off of Melrose Place into a popular show)
Any "emo" band
Jerry Falwell
Pat Robertson
Chad Michael Murray
Jared Fogell
P. Diddy
Tara Reid
Bernie Mac
Ashton Kutcher
Michael Jackson
Akiva Goldsman
Uwe Boll
Orlando Bloom
Jennifer Lopez
Beyonce Knowles
Ron Popeil
Steve Martin (for starring in unfunny pieces of shit nowadays)
Dakota Fanning
Simon Cowell
Paula Abdul
Tommy Lee

[KcMsterpce]

Great lists, guys. Only so true.

To add to it, or in case I MISSED READING THEM:
Bitches (even guys) to be slapped:

Lucy Liu
Hollywood insiders responsible for all the remakes
Mike Nichols (after the CLOSER/Portman fiasco, if true)
Richard Donner for making TIMELINE
Maroon 5
F. Gary Gray


Bitches to be slapped with my cock :

Natalie Portman
Zhao Wei
Jessica Alba
Zhang Ziyi
Karen Mok
Rosario Dawson
Hsu Qi
Christina Milian
Charmane Star
Ice cream girl in KUNG FU HUSTLE
Adriana Lima
.... and so many more, for being so damned beautiful.

[B1rd_Po0p]

Tom Green. Him and his stupid sausage song.

[James Logan]

Originally posted by jeo4
Angelina...darling...

*Slap* Skanky slut! Stop being a psycho!

Bring it...;) :D

All right, fucker, pick your weapon. ;)

[jeo4]

Lightsabers at ten paces, Wolverine. :D

[Nachokoolaid]

Originally posted by Tom Samborski
Lindsay Lohan
Paris Hilton
50 Cent
Donald Trump
Usher
Kayne West
Lil' Jon
Ludacris
Mary-Kate Olsen
Ashley Olsen
Michael Powell (and everyone who works for the fucking FCC)
Justin Timberlake
The idiots who run MTV (for their bullshit reality shows, and the fact that they gave Missy Elliot the "Video of the Year" award over Johnny Cash)
Britney Spears
Kevin Ferdeline
Christina Aguillera
Lil' Kim
Gwen Stefani
Nicole Ritchie
Justin Guarini
Kelly Clarkson
George.W.Bush
Anna Nicole Smith
Axl Rose
Madonna
Jimmy Fallon
Ashlee Simpson
Jessica Simpson
Aaron Carter
Hillary Duff
Jon Heder
Fred Durst
JoJo
Ashanti
Ja Rule
R.Kelly (get back to prison, you sick fuck)
Kristie Alley
The entire cast of the O.C (for turning a cheap rip-off of Melrose Place into a popular show)
Any "emo" band
Jerry Falwell
Pat Robertson
Chad Michael Murray
Jared Fogell
P. Diddy
Tara Reid
Bernie Mac
Ashton Kutcher
Michael Jackson
Akiva Goldsman
Uwe Boll
Orlando Bloom
Jennifer Lopez
Beyonce Knowles
Ron Popeil
Steve Martin (for starring in unfunny pieces of shit nowadays)
Dakota Fanning
Simon Cowell
Paula Abdul
Tommy Lee

I agree with just about everyone on your list, but Dakota Fanning? Why would you want to slap a little girl, man? That ain't cool. Plus, she's just a kid. I think she's great.

As for my picks:

-Uwe Boll
-Bill O Reily
-People that think Scorsese should have won the Oscar for lifetime achievement, rather than the strength of THE AVIATOR.
-Academy members, for not giving Scorsese the win in 1980 for RAGING BULL.

I can't think of any others right now.

[James Logan]

Originally posted by jeo4
Lightsabers at ten paces, Wolverine. :D

All right, man, I don't want this thread to stray insanely off-topic because of us...

...so let's go settle this one outside.

;)

[ilovemovies]

Originally posted by Nachokoolaid

-People that think Scorsese should have won the Oscar for lifetime achievement, rather than the strength of THE AVIATOR.




I do think Scorsese should have won the oscar but not for some life achievement but because he DESERVED it! The Aviator is a damn brilliant flick!

[TheAxeGrinder]

Sara Jessica Parker - for those fucking annoying GAP commercials

[ilovemovies]

Originally posted by TheAxeGrinder
Sara Jessica Parker - for those fucking annoying GAP commercials

Heheh. I actually kind of like these knew ones where she is singing. It's kind of catchy.

[Jas]

Freddie....Prinze...Jr...

This guy is such a dick..Not to mention he's married to Sarah Michelle Gellar...
Sometimes you see people, and just the way the walk, talk, BLINK, pisses you off.
He's one of mine....

[BorderEevilIII]

ohhhhh love this topic.....:D

Just like the posting of Lil Kim earlier

I wanna comment about Cameron Diaz how she went from this seen in 1994's The Mask......

http://www.dvdfever.co.uk/reviews/mask3.jpg


to what she looks more like today.......
Just like the quote Fred Willard says in which movie I fo get....:D
Wha Happen?!?!?! :confused:

To This! Where is her boobs?!?!?! Seems like she got royally FLAT chested?!?!?
http://www.rp-online.de/layout/showbilder/55-mai2004.jpg

[jeo4]

Originally posted by TheAxeGrinder
Sara Jessica Parker - for those fucking annoying GAP commercials

Annoying no more. (http://money.cnn.com/2005/03/22/news/newsmakers/gap_sjp.reut/index.htm?cnn=yes)

:D

[B1rd_Po0p]

Originally posted by jeo4
Annoying no more. (http://money.cnn.com/2005/03/22/news/newsmakers/gap_sjp.reut/index.htm?cnn=yes)

:D

Good. because - not to sound mean or anything - Ew. She's not all that... :p

[Damone]

Leo DeCrapio.

He looks like he's 12, he's got that huge fuckin' melon head, and it seems like in almost all of his movies he's got the same hairstyle regardless of what year it's set it.

Jas said "Sometimes you see people, and just the way the walk, talk, BLINK, pisses you off....", Leo's mine.

[B1rd_Po0p]

Originally posted by Damone
Jas said "Sometimes you see people, and just the way the walk, talk, BLINK, pisses you off....", Leo's mine.

Renee Zellweger. I can't stand her squinty eyes, chipmunk cheeks and squeaky little voice.

I also gotta agree on Cameron Diaz too -- WTF happened to her?!?

[Twisted]

Originally posted by TheAxeGrinder
Sara Jessica Parker - for those fucking annoying GAP commercials


YES! PLEASE pimp-slap her! Those ads suck monkey nuts!! And you can also pimp-slap Bush Sr. and Jr....actually, Jr. needs more than slapped, so maybe your avatar could help all of us out...:D

[Twisted]

Originally posted by jeo4
Annoying no more. (http://money.cnn.com/2005/03/22/news/newsmakers/gap_sjp.reut/index.htm?cnn=yes)

:D

Thank you, there is a god!:D

[Twisted]

Originally posted by BorderEevilIII
ohhhhh love this topic.....:D

Just like the posting of Lil Kim earlier

I wanna comment about Cameron Diaz how she went from this seen in 1994's The Mask......

http://www.dvdfever.co.uk/reviews/mask3.jpg


to what she looks more like today.......
Just like the quote Fred Willard says in which movie I fo get....:D
Wha Happen?!?!?! :confused:

To This! Where is her boobs?!?!?! Seems like she got royally FLAT chested?!?!?
http://www.rp-online.de/layout/showbilder/55-mai2004.jpg

That's because she's not wearing those enhancers.:p

[TheAxeGrinder]

Sandra Bullock, for that piece of crap monstrocity in Miss Congeniality 2 and it's subsequent TV spots, which are annoying as hell. I can hear a career being flushed...

[therealjohng]

Originally posted by TheAxeGrinder
Sandra Bullock, for that piece of crap monstrocity in Miss Congeniality 2 and it's subsequent TV spots, which are annoying as hell. I can hear a career being flushed...


Have you seen the trailer for Crash? I hear no such sound....

[normanbatesjr]

Originally posted by jeo4
Lots of good additions here. Add Angelina Jolie for being a complete psycho.
Nah, I'd rather tap her. Her ass, that is.

[Twisted]

Ah, you men....:rolleyes:

[krazy drako]

Wow, everyone forgot Eddie Murphy. He doesn't even let extras look at him and his only worthy role was playing Donkey in Shrek 1 and 2. He tried to start a serious music career in the 80's for godsake.



http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/entertainers/comic/eddie-murphy/eddie_murphy_album.jpg

[ComeNightfall]

Originally posted by krazy drako
Wow, everyone forgot Eddie Murphy. He doesn't even let extras look at him and his only worthy role was playing Donkey in Shrek 1 and 2. He tried to start a serious music career in the 80's for godsake.



http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/entertainers/comic/eddie-murphy/eddie_murphy_album.jpg
That album cover is one of the gayest things I've seen. But I will admit that I really like Party All the Time.

[Twisted]

*gasps*

TRAITOR!!!!:eek:

I kid of course:D

[Underground]

should watch out for Bobby Brown, i hear he slaps back ;)

[B1rd_Po0p]

http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/movie/napolean_dynamite/01.jpg


Ok, I admit: I have not seen this movie. But that suit alone begs for an ass kicking...

[AJAX]

http://film.onet.pl/_i/news/duze/r/robin_williams_3.jpg

Robin Williams - This guy is not funny. And he gives me the creeps.

[kamisama]

Originally posted by B1rd_Po0p
http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/movie/napolean_dynamite/01.jpg


Ok, I admit: I have not seen this movie. But that suit alone begs for an ass kicking...

No shit, man.

[mr_eff]

Russell Crowe for his comments about DeNiro and other actors doing commercials.


I agree with those comments.

"Here's the deal, folks. You do a commercial - you're off the artistic roll call, forever. End of story. Okay? You're another whore at the captialist gang bang and if you do a commercial, there's a price on your head. Everything you say is suspect and every word that comes out of your mouth is now like a turd falling into my drink." - Bill Hicks