I wrote this script. Can you tell me what you think?

[Freddy's Claw]

I know, I know. It's my first draft and kind of sloppy... but think of it as a play. Remember, It's Sloppy!

Plot: This kid, Allen lets his brothers step all over him and bully him around. Same with his neighbors. So he decides to Punish them. Now his 5 brothers are being terrized by him in the house.





Ben Pearce’s
The Brother (Rough Draft)


Setting: Purchase Line, Pennsylvania. 5:08 PM, Living room
---Allen is a normal boy. He has feelings for his brothers. All 5 of them.
--- Allen and his older brother Sam are in the house. They are playing Atari Flashback. Allen and his brother are playing “Asteroids” Then Allen shoots the shuttle and he wins the game.
Allen: YES! I WIN! Beat that Sam!
Sam: You are gonna get your butt kicked!
Allen: No! Please! I was just making a point.
Sam: I’m sorry Allen.
Allen: Really?
Sam: NO!
--- Sam jumps on Allen and starts waling on him as hard as he can. Sam has a really short temper. Allen is screaming in pain as Sam is knocking his brains out.
Allen: MOM! MOM! MOM!
--- Allen’s mom comes in.
Mom: Get off of him right now!
Sam: He started it!
Mom: If I see you do that to him again I am going to slap you. You are grounded. Go up to your room!
Sam: But---
Mom: Get up there now Samuel Harrison!
Sam: Ok mom. But he gets away with everything because he is a stupid cocky 13 year old.
Mom: And you think a 16 year old is any different?
Sam: What?
Mom: Please! You fuss. You moan. You cry and stomp when you don’t get your way. I know how you boys act! I was 16 once too you know! I’m not just a 36-year-old mother who raises 6 children and a husband to feed! So get up there NOW!
Sam: Ok mom. (To Allen) But some day, I’m gonna get you and you are gonna be sorry.
Mom: Sam! Shut up and get to your room!
---Sam stomps up the stairs. Mrs. Harrison is very mad and could do anything at this point.
Allen: Mom.
Mom: Yes, Allen?
Allen: Why is Sam so mean to me all the time?
Mom: He’s a jerk. Ignore him. Or fight back if you want.
Allen: Fight back?
Mom: Yes, fight back. I think you could kick his ass if you wanted to.
Allen: Really?
Mom: Yes. I think you can. By the way, we are going away tonight and you and the other five have to stay here.
Allen: Where are you going?
Mom: We have to go to Pittsburgh.
Allen: Why?
Mom: A business thing. You wouldn’t understand.
` Allen: Ok.
Fade out

--- Allen is in his room when his little brother comes in.
Allen: Hi Ned.
Ned: Hi Allen. Listen, I need to tell you something.
Allen: What’s that?
Ned: You are an idiot! How could you rip my teddy bear apart! That was my only thing I had left from when I was a little kid!
Allen: You are a little kid. You’re 11. And I didn’t tear it apart. Did you ask Sam?
Ned: Sam wouldn’t do something like that! It was you. So I’m gonna take your paper here.
--- Ned picks up Allen’s Pre- Algebra homework and he starts to tear slowly
Allen: STOP! THAT IS WORTH 40 POINTS!
Ned: It is worth nothing now. And face it Allen. You cant do anything to me or mom will ground you and take your scary movie collection away.
Allen: I DIDN’T DO IT!
Ned: Liar! Here is your paper. Tonight, you are gonna make me popcorn and all of that good stuff.
--- Allen is getting this evil angry look in his eyes. He is about to smash his brains out.
Ned: Do you understand. And If you don’t I’ll tell mom about what you and your friend were doing in the woods.
Allen: Shut Up! Shut Up you stupid little brat!
--- Allen reaches over for his baseball bat.
Ned: Allen. What are you doing?
--- Allen walks quickly over to Ned.
Allen: Shut up! You stupid son of a---
--- Allen slams the bat down on Ned’s scull. Ned falls to the ground.

Ned: Allen! Allen! Are you Listening? Do you understand?! If you don’t I’ll tell mom what you and your friend were doing in the woods.
Allen: I Understand.
Ned: I love being tricky.
--- Ned walks out the door. Allen rolls his eyes and lies back down on his bed.
Allen: Jeez.

Cut to
--- Two little kids are playing with toy trucks. They are about 8 and 9 years old.
--- Allen walks past and stops in the toy room and sees them playing. He walks in and sits down with them.
Allen: Can I play? Jake? Is it ok? Aaron?
Jake: NO! We don’t like you. You mean to us!
Aaron: Yeah, mean to us.
Allen: When have I been mean to you?
Jake: GET!
Aaron: Yeah, get!
Allen: Ok! Just don’t tell mom.
--- Allen leaves the room. Aaron throws a little car at the back of Allen’s head. Allen screams and looks back at the two little bratty kids.
--- Allen is now in the bathroom and he is washing the back of his head. There is a little bit of blood. Then he turns around and there is the smallest kid. Tony is just sitting there with a pacifier in his mouth. Allen smiles at Tony. Tony starts to cry. Allen goes and picks him up.
--- Allen is in the living room trying to cheer him up. But he isn’t doing anything. The baby is still crying and there is nothing he can do. Mrs. Harrison walks in and takes the baby away from him.
Mom: I’ll just take care of him, ok?
Allen: Oh, ok.

Cut to
--- Allen is walking down Purchase Line Road. He walks past an old man’s house.

Allen: Hi Mr. Filler.

[Freddy's Claw]

Mr. Filler: What are you doing today Allen. Just gonna sit around and do nothing like always?
Allen: Uh- Huh. I’m baby-sitting the kids tonight.
Mr. Filler: Yeah. All you have to do is watch TV and check up on them once in a while. That ain’t hard.
Allen: Actually, it is.
Mr. Filler: Don’t argue with me boy! I’ll woop you one.
Allen: If you touch me I’ll---
Mom: Allen, We’re leaving now. Bye Tom.
Mr. Filler: Bye Lea. Just having a talk with him about actually doing work around here. Instead of letting you do all of the work.
Lea: Well… that’s nice. Bye Allen!
Allen: Bye mom.
--- Lea gets in the car and leaves. Allen watches her drive down the road to the intersection. Then the car turns and he doesn’t see her anymore.
Mr. Filler: I’m coming over later and I can finally teach you some manners!
Allen: That’s nice.
Mr. Filler: Don’t act smart! Sam is nicer than you!
Allen: HAHA! Sure.
Mr. Filler: I’m gonna teach you a lesson later boy.
Allen: What are you gonna teach me? You are 72 years old for Christ sakes!
Mr. Filler: Are you listening to me boy?
Allen: Yes. Yes I am.
Mr. Filler: Good. Now get back in there and do what you’re supposed to be doing. You are already being lazy by stalling time. Now get in there and start watching the kids… you lazy bum!
--- Allen walks inside and shuts the door.
Fade Away
--- It is really loud inside with a whole bunch of loud rock and Roll Music. There are kids screaming and playing. Allen is trying to read his book. He can’t stand the noise.
--- He walks up into Sam’s room and walks up to the boom box and shuts the music off.
Sam: What the hell is your problem! I Was listening to that!
Allen: I’m trying to read!
Sam: Reading is for sissies!
Allen: Only if you can’t read!
Sam: You Shut your mouth you bratt!
Allen: NO! I’m Sick and tired of your crap!
Sam: OOO! Tough guy. I’d Kill you!
Allen: No! I’ll kill you if you even touch me again!
Sam: And how!
Allen: I don’t know. But It’ll be a good death too! All nice. It’ll look like an accident. I have plenty of stories that the cops and mom will believe.
Sam: Shut Up and go read some paper.
Allen: I will after you keep your music off or down!
--- Sam jumps on Allen and pulls his arms around his back and starts pushing them toward his head. Allen is screaming like a little girl. Allen Turns around and pushes Sam off of him and walks into his room.
--- There are tears coming down his eyes. He doesn’t know what to do. He sits down and starts reading again.
Sam: (From His Room Yelling) HOW’S THIS ALLEN!
---Sam turns up his music the whole way.
--- Allen can’t stand it any more. Allen grabs a little mini wooden baseball bat and walks into Sam’s room. “I wanna Rock” is playing by Twisted Sister. Allen walks behind Sam and bashes him on the back of the head with the baseball bat as hard as he can. Sam falls to the ground. He is dead but his nerves are causing his arms and legs to shake. They shake for a couple minutes. Then no more movement for Sam.
--- Allen finally snaps out of it and looks down and realizes what he did. He is shocked. He screams. But nobody hears him. It is too noisy in the house. Allen picks up Sam and puts him under the covers. Then He walks back into his room.
--- Allen is on his bed. He is thinking. Then he starts talking to himself.
Allen: What am I gonna do! What am I gonna do! Oh my god! I’m gonna go to juvi! What the hell am I gonna do!
--- Ned is walking up the stairs. He is walking slowly into Sam’s room. He is looking at the covers. Sam is in there. Ned walks over to his dresser. He grabs something from inside the dresser. We don’t know what it is though. Ned looks and sees that Sam’s arm is a whitish color. Ned thinks he is sick. So he pulls the covers off of his head.
Cut to
Allen: I can’t believe I did that!
--- Ned walks past Allen’s room very slowly. Allen is lying there thinking and talking to himself. Ned runs past his room and down the stairs. He walks over to Aaron and Jake.
Ned: Jake, where is Tony?
Jake: He is up in his room sleeping. We was crawling up the stairs and went into his room.
Ned: No!
Jake: What?
Ned: Listen, Jake. Take Aaron and crawl in that secret cubby hole that nobody else knows about.
Aaron: Why?
Ned: I think that Allen just killed Sam.
Jake: What!
Ned: Yeah. And I have to go up stairs and get Tony. Then I’ll come down to get you two and then we’ll leave. We’ll go to Mr. Fillers and call the police. Ok?
Aaron: Jake, I’m scared.
Ned: Go! Now!

Cut to
Allen: I’ve got an Idea.
--- Allen gets an evil look on his face and walks into Sam’s room and grabs the baseball bat.
Allen: NED! COME HERE!

Cut to
Ned: Oh no!
Aaron: Let’s go!
--- Jake and Aaron run into there room across the hall into there room and lock the door.
--- Ned looks up at the stairs.
Cut to
--- Allen walks into Tony’s room. Tony is sleeping with Ned’s ripped teddy bear. Allen figures out that it is Tony’s fault that the bear is ripped. So he raises the bat and looks at Tony. Then He drops the bat and slaps the baby across the face.
Allen: Get up you stupid ugly son of a bitch!
---Tony is crying now. Tony is trying to crawl out of the room but Allen grabs him by the neck and is choking the little two year old baby.
--- Ned walks in and screams.
Ned: PUT THE BABY DOWN. YOU STUPID CRAZY BASTARD!
--- Allen drops the baby on the floor. The baby can’t breath still. The baby is still choking.
Allen: What did you say?
Ned: I said let him go!
--- Allen reaches for the baseball bat and slowly walks toward Ned.

[Freddy's Claw]

Allen: I’ve been listening to a person who is 3 years younger than me and you are a little brat.
--- Allen grabs Ned’s neck and starts choking him.
Allen: Now you listen to me! That thing in Sam’s room was an accident. Here is the story.
Ned: (Can’t Breathe) Allen, can--- brea---
--- Allen lets go of Ned. Ned starts crawling for Tony. Allen is just standing there.
Allen: The story is… Me and Sam were having fun for once.
--- Ned is moving closer to Tony. Tony Is still Crying. Allen Is now starting to walk towards Ned Very slowly.
Allen: And we were playing baseball. I swung the bat and it slipped out of my hands. Sam went to duck and it smashed into the top of his head. I tried to wake him up. I thought he was sleeping. So I put him back into the bed. Do you get the story?
--- Ned Grabs Tony and slides back more. Ned sees a toy car. He starts sliding towards that as Allen starts to walk a little faster to him. Ned Turns around to get the car and turns around and Allen is right up in his face. Ned Smashes the car into his face. Allen lies on the ground. He is crying.
Allen: (Crying) I’m gonna get you!
--- Ned gets up and runs out the door. He runs down the stairs with the baby. He runs up to Jake and Aaron’s door. He starts knocking.
Ned: Guys it’s me! Let me in!
---Jake Unlocks the door. Ned walks in with Tony.
Ned: Shut and lock the door. He’s coming.
Cut To
---Allen is getting up. He reaches around his eye. It is bleeding really badly. He will need to get stitches. He looks over at the baseball bat, it is a long, metal one. He crawls over to it and grabs it. He starts to walk down the stairs. He looks in the living room. Nobody there. He walks into the kitchen and looks around for a while. Nobody there.
Allen: I wander where they are! Jee, I guess I’d better go hide so they find a chance to escape. Just like in the movies!
--- Allen walks over to Jake and Aaron’s room and turns the handle. It is locked.
Allen: Jee, I wander why the door is locked. Maybe they are in here. I’d better find out!
SMASH! The Wood breaks a tiny bit.
SMASH! Off Goes the door knob.
--- Allen kicks the door down.
Allen: Jee… are they under the bed? (He checks under the bed) Nope! Are they in the closet? (He checks the Closet) Nope. There is just one more place they could hide in this room.
--- Ned has a wide eyed look. He knows that Allen knows where they are.
Allen: They must be in that cubby behind the dresser! Am I right! (He slides The dresser aside) Yep. Are they all here. 1 mississippi, 2 mississippi, 3 mississippi, 4 mississippi! The whole gangs here! (He grabs Aaron and pulls his arm, dislocating it.)
--- Aaron cries. Allen looks down at him with this evil look on his face and then he smashes the metal into his forehead. Aaron’s dead. There is a huge gap in his head.
--- The phone rings. Allen walks over to the phone.
Allen: Hello?
Voice: Hello, Allen. Remember, you said we could stay the night. Me and Alex.
Allen: Oh, Yeah. Hi Ben. How are you doing.
Ben: Good.
Allen: You only want me for my movies so you can keep them and never give them back! I’m gonna kill you!
Ben: Are we still allowed to stay?
Allen: Sure. Come right over. Bye. (He hangs up the phone.)
--- Allen walks back into the cubby hole. The kids aren’t in there any more. Allen looks at the door. It is still locked from the inside. The back door is jammed. Allen Looks up the stairs and there are the kids running up the stairs.
Allen: It’s time to die!
--- Allen runs up the stairs and looks into Sam’s room. The door is locked.
Cut to
--- Mr. Filler is on his porch. He is right beside the Harrison’s house. He lights a cigar and starts to smoke it.
Setting: 11: 30 PM Sam’s Room
--- Ned is trying to find the door to the attic.
Jake: I can’t believe Allen killed Aaron and Sam!
Ned: Do you know why?
Jake: No, why?
Ned: Because we treated him like shit! Now he is getting his revenge!
Jake: Oh, I never meant to hurt him. I just don’t like it when he plays with us. He plays wrong.
Ned: And I just thought he ruined my teddy bear! I ripped up his homework.
Jake: What are we going to do.
Ned: We are going to find out where the attic is so we can---
--- Allen smashed the door with the bat.
--- Ned finds the door beside the window. They all run up to the attic and lock the door.
--- Allen Keeps smashing down the door and then Mr. Filler walks in.
Mr. Filler: Hello? Anybody home. Allen and Sam! You are supposed to be here.
--- Allen walks into the kitchen and grabs a piece of wire. He sneaks up behind Mr. Filler and starts choking him with the wire. Mr. Filler’s face is turning purple and blue.
Allen: You didn’t knock! You stupid old geezer!
---Mr. Filler’s eyes roll back into their sockets and he dies. Allen drags Mr. Filler into the basement and throws him down the stairs.
--- Allen starts to walk up the stairs again when he hears another knock at the door.
Cut to
Ben: Do you think he’ll let us borrow his scary movies Alex?
Alex: He’d better.
Ben: That’s all I do all day is watch scary mo---
--- Allen Open’s the door.
Allen: Hi guys. Come on right in. Look around. I’ve just gotta take care of my brothers.
--- Allen runs up the stairs.
Ben: I’ll look in the kitchen, you look back in that hall way.
Alex: Got it.
--- Alex walks back to the hall. He looks in the bathroom. Nothing there. He looks in the next room and sees the poor 9-year-old lying there on the floor dead with blood coming out of his ears and nose. Alex Turns around to tell Ben but Allen grabs his mouth and takes him down stairs.
Cut To
--- Ben is in the kitchen. He looks in the refrigerator for food. He doesn’t find anything. He turns around and sees Allen standing there.
Ben: Hi Allen. I was just looking for food.
Allen: It’s Ok. I’ve just gotta get something in the basement. Look around.
Ben: Thanks.
---Ben turns around and in the background you can see Allen reach from behind the hallway and go downstairs into the basement with Alex’s mouth duck taped shut. Allen shuts the door and Ben is still looking for food.
Cut to
--- Allen Grabs Alex by the throat and starts choking him. Alex can’t talk.
--- Allen reaches into a toolbox and grabs a funnel. He grabs the Drano beside him. He shoves the funnel into Alex’s mouth and opens the bottle and dumps it in his mouth. Alex is wide eyed. He can’t believe what is happening to him. Then in 10 seconds he throws up. Then He dies.
--- Allen walks back up the stairs and stares at Ben
Ben: What’s wrong?
Allen: Nothing.
--- Allen walks towards Ben. Allen grabs the knife on the table. Allen traps ben in a corner.
Ben: Dude, what are you doing!
Allen: This will only hurt for a minute.
Ben: Please, don’t!
--- Allen yells and then cuts the tip of Ben’s eye lid. Ben screams in pain and starts to run up the stairs. Allen follows him.
Ben: HELP!

Cut to
Ned: Listen.
Ben: Help!
Ned: That’s Ben! Allen hates him! We’ve gotta get him!
Jake: What do I do?
Ned: Stay here with Tony.
--- Ned runs down the attic steps and then runs for Sam’s door. Ned Unlocks the door and opens it and screams.
Ned: Ben! Up here in Sam’s room! Hurry!
--- Ben runs into Sam’s room and they both slam the door shut and lock it. Ben Runs up the attic steps and Ned follows. They get to the attic and shut the door and lock it.
Ben: What the hell is his problem!
Ned: He is mad at us. He’s punishing us for the stuff we did.
Jake: He killed Sam and Aaron!
Ben: I think He killed Alex too. And I saw that mean old man across from you guys?
Ned: Mr. Filler!
Ben: Yeah, well, I think he’s dead too.
Ned We’ve gotta get to that window over there.
Ben: Why?
Ned: It leads to the roof.
Ben: Then what?
Ned: We can call for help!
Ben: Ned, it’s 11:30! There ain’t gonna me anyone awake.
Ned: Somebody might here us!
Jake: What about that garden thing that is on the side of the house?
Ben: What?
Jake: That white thing? Can we climb down that?
Ned: Jake… you’re a genus! Common!
Cut To
--- Allen Smashes the door down. He walks toward the attic and starts walking up the stairs. He starts smashing the attic door down.
--- Ned looks at the door.
Ned: Oh no! He’s coming!
Ben: You go! I’ll stay. I am tougher than him anyway.
--- Allen smashes the door down
Allen: I’m gonna kill all 4 of you! And It’s gonna be fun to!
Ben: Go to hell!
--- Ben kicks the bat out of Allen’s hands.
--- Ned, Jake and Tony climb out the window and on top of the roof.
--- Ben punches Allen in the face.
--- Allen tackles Ben and they are rolling on the floor.
--- Ben gets on top and knees him in the groin.
--- Allen Screams. Then Allen takes a lamp and smashes it over his head.
---Ben falls to the ground. Ben gets up and sees Allen coming at him with a coat hanger.
--- Allen smashes into Ben and jams the coat hanger into his neck. Ben Screams and then gargles and then he just stares there. Ben is dead.
Cut to
Ned: The garden thing is knocked over.
--- Allen Climbs out the window.
Allen: BOO!
--- Ned Turns around and looks at Allen. Allen stares at Ned
Ned: Allen… I know why your mad and I’m sorry! Are you sorry Jake?
Jake: Yeah. Allen, just go to the crazy hospital and everything will be different for a few years.
Allen: I’m not CRAZY!
---Allen runs over and kicks Jake and he falls off the roof onto the sidewalk. His scull is cracked. Jake screams for one or two seconds and then he dies.
Ned: You Crazy---
Allen: Shut UP! I’m not crazy. I’m getting back.
Ned: Why did you do that! You’ll go to hell for that!
Allen: So what!
Ned: What did Tony do!
Allen: None of your business!
Ned: Ok! What about when mom and dad find out!
Allen: They won’t!
--- Cops arrive.
Cop: Put your hands in the air! We’ve got you surrounded!
Allen: How do they---
Ned: Did you forget about shutting off the phone lines Allen? Did you forget there was a phone in Sam’s room!
Allen: You stupid son of a--- I know what I have to do.
--- Allen goes back into the windows and down the stairs. He walks out the front door and walks into the police car.
Allen: Take me away! Forever! I have the right to remain silence. Anything I say will be held against me in court. And all of that other crap! I am responsible for six death penalty’s
Cop: Take this crazy weirdo away.
Allen: I’m not weird!
---The cop in the car drive away.
--- Ned’s mom comes home. Ned and Tony get down and hug there mom. Ned Tells them everything that happened.

Allen got sent to prison forever that night. He got the death penalty when he was 33 years old. And to this day on, he is known as “The Maniac Brother”

THE END

[Juice]

I haven't read the entire thing, but I can sat this about the beginning:

Originally posted by Freddy's Claw
Ben Pearce’s
The Brother (Rough Draft)


Setting: Purchase Line, Pennsylvania. 5:08 PM, Living room
---Allen is a normal boy. He has feelings for his brothers. All 5 of them.
--- Allen and his older brother Sam are in the house. They are playing Atari Flashback. Allen and his brother are playing “Asteroids” Then Allen shoots the shuttle and he wins the game.
Allen: YES! I WIN! Beat that Sam!
Sam: You are gonna get your butt kicked!
Allen: No! Please! I was just making a point.
Sam: I’m sorry Allen.
Allen: Really?
Sam: NO!
--- Sam jumps on Allen and starts waling on him as hard as he can. Sam has a really short temper. Allen is screaming in pain as Sam is knocking his brains out.
Allen: MOM! MOM! MOM!
--- Allen’s mom comes in.
Mom: Get off of him right now!
Sam: He started it!
Mom: If I see you do that to him again I am going to slap you. You are grounded. Go up to your room!
Sam: But---
Mom: Get up there now Samuel Harrison!
Sam: Ok mom. But he gets away with everything because he is a stupid cocky 13 year old.
Mom: And you think a 16 year old is any different?
Sam: What?
Mom: Please! You fuss. You moan. You cry and stomp when you don’t get your way. I know how you boys act! I was 16 once too you know! I’m not just a 36-year-old mother who raises 6 children and a husband to feed! So get up there NOW!


You seem to be trying to put as much information about these people as possible in these first minutes. That makes it feel kind of unreal; all that info can wait. Take your time.

[TheJadedGamer]

You need to format this better, I found it pretty hard to read. I also find it hard to believe that an 11 and 8 year old kid (with one holding a toddler) can crawl out of onto a roof. Plus, the weird introduction of Allen's friends coming over and him bumping them off is just unnesscary and doesn't need to be in there.

[Freddy's Claw]

Originally posted by TheJadedGamer
You need to format this better, I found it pretty hard to read. I also find it hard to believe that an 11 and 8 year old kid (with one holding a toddler) can crawl out of onto a roof. Plus, the weird introduction of Allen's friends coming over and him bumping them off is just unnesscary and doesn't need to be in there.

Yeah but remember... they wern't really his friends. They just borowed stuff from him and never gave it back... they were using him.
And another thing. I know, this is my rough draft, and i didn't explain a lot... but, remember, they are in the attic. The roof is just above them about 2 feet. I know, i know, I didn't explain too much yet. But it will be better for the rough draft.

[Freddy's Claw]

Originally posted by Juice
I haven't read the entire thing, but I can sat this about the beginning:



You seem to be trying to put as much information about these people as possible in these first minutes. That makes it feel kind of unreal; all that info can wait. Take your time.

I'm just making you know why he is going to terrorize them throughout the script. Because the way they are treating him. I love how movies have the exciting stuff through the movie. That is why I had all of that stuff in the beginning.

[Freddy's Claw]

--- Allen is getting this evil angry look in his eyes. He is about to smash his brains out.
Ned: Do you understand. And If you don’t I’ll tell mom about what you and your friend were doing in the woods.
Allen: Shut Up! Shut Up you stupid little brat!
--- Allen reaches over for his baseball bat.
Ned: Allen. What are you doing?
--- Allen walks quickly over to Ned.
Allen: Shut up! You stupid son of a---
--- Allen slams the bat down on Ned’s scull. Ned falls to the ground.




Mr. Filler: I’m gonna teach you a lesson later boy.
Allen: What are you gonna teach me? You are 72 years old for Christ sakes!










For some reason, those parts didn't italisize, well... those parts, Allen is imagining.

[TheJadedGamer]

Originally posted by Freddy's Claw
Yeah but remember... they wern't really his friends. They just borowed stuff from him and never gave it back... they were using him.
And another thing. I know, this is my rough draft, and i didn't explain a lot... but, remember, they are in the attic. The roof is just above them about 2 feet. I know, i know, I didn't explain too much yet. But it will be better for the rough draft.

Ok, I get you now.

[Freddy's Claw]

i'm fixing the mistakes now.

[Freddy's Claw]

I'm almost done with the good copy.