TrippingBalls
08-31-2005, 08:08 AM
So I was strolling down the sidewalk today, when a miss Oprah Winfrey walked up to me.
"BLAAAAG I'M VERRRRY FAMOUS AND WOMEN LOVE ME"
I basically do what any man who deserves to live would do, and I do a swiff knife-edge chop to her jugular with the edge of my palm. She collapses on the sidewalk and dies. Nobody will miss her, except for the soccormoms who watch her show, and nobody cares about what they think anyways.
Then some fat cop with donut stains on his uniform comes runnin up and is like "DURRRRRR I'M PLACIN YOU UNDER ARREST YOU DONT HIT A WOMAN!!!!!" and then I say "Why don't you go plant some cocaine in P. Diddy's car?" to which he replies "Good idea!" and he then proceeds to leave me the fuck alone.
Then a fat blubbering walrus by the name of Roseanne walks up to me and is like "WAAAAAAHHHHH HREHHHHH HAHHHH WRAHHHHH WREHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHEHEEEEEEHHHH" to which I reply "Put on a red light!" and then I smash her on top of the skull with a sledge hammer, and then continue walkin.
I then plant a dinosaur in R. Kelly's closet and hide under a lamp. R. Kelly wakes up to go change and starts to chant "I'M OPENING THE CLOSET!" and then a raptor jumps out and bites his head off. I escape through the windows.
I hear the sound of choppers. Roaring above me at 40 feet is Paris Hilton, and she's all like "I don't like all these people you been killin WRAHHHHHH I'M A SPOILED ROTTEN WHORE." She then proceeds to jump from the helicopter to do battle with me, forgetting she actually needs a harness. After she hits the ground with a solid thud and dies, I make my way through the forest.
..................
"BLAAAAG I'M VERRRRY FAMOUS AND WOMEN LOVE ME"
I basically do what any man who deserves to live would do, and I do a swiff knife-edge chop to her jugular with the edge of my palm. She collapses on the sidewalk and dies. Nobody will miss her, except for the soccormoms who watch her show, and nobody cares about what they think anyways.
Then some fat cop with donut stains on his uniform comes runnin up and is like "DURRRRRR I'M PLACIN YOU UNDER ARREST YOU DONT HIT A WOMAN!!!!!" and then I say "Why don't you go plant some cocaine in P. Diddy's car?" to which he replies "Good idea!" and he then proceeds to leave me the fuck alone.
Then a fat blubbering walrus by the name of Roseanne walks up to me and is like "WAAAAAAHHHHH HREHHHHH HAHHHH WRAHHHHH WREHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHEHEEEEEEHHHH" to which I reply "Put on a red light!" and then I smash her on top of the skull with a sledge hammer, and then continue walkin.
I then plant a dinosaur in R. Kelly's closet and hide under a lamp. R. Kelly wakes up to go change and starts to chant "I'M OPENING THE CLOSET!" and then a raptor jumps out and bites his head off. I escape through the windows.
I hear the sound of choppers. Roaring above me at 40 feet is Paris Hilton, and she's all like "I don't like all these people you been killin WRAHHHHHH I'M A SPOILED ROTTEN WHORE." She then proceeds to jump from the helicopter to do battle with me, forgetting she actually needs a harness. After she hits the ground with a solid thud and dies, I make my way through the forest.
..................