MadsenOMC
10-22-2005, 04:11 PM
SPOILERS!!!!
I haven’t seen The Mask of Zorro since it came out seven years ago, but I remember enjoying it. Not something I’d ever want to own or see again, but passable entertainment that kept me engaged while I was in the theater.
That said, who in the hell was hoping for a sequel? When the end credits rolled, were a lot of people thinking, “Wow, that was great, but they really left a lot of loose ends, and I hope that seven years from now, they tie it all together.”
I highly doubt it, and I don’t sense a whole lot of interest in another Zorro movie. Nor should there be, because The Legend of Zorro is pretty bad. It is nothing more than a lazy, uninspired sequel.
The action takes place in 1850. California is hoping to become a state and join the union, ensuring the freedom of its residents and their status as Americans.
People are casting their votes at the polls, but not everyone wants California to join the union. McGivens (Nick Chinlund), a Bible quoting bigot who repeatedly states that he is “doing the Lord’s work,” attempts to steal the ballots.
Zorro (Antonio Banderas) ain’t having it. He swoops in, his trademark entrance, does battle with McGivens and his men, and saves the day. The people cheer and California is one step closer to becoming a state (which will happen officially in three months time).
Despite his heroic deeds, not all is well for Zorro (officially, Don Alejandro de la Vega). His lady, Elena (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is not pleased with him. Zorro promised he would quit after this one last job, but he wants to continue working for another three months to ensure that nothing impedes with California’s impending statehood.
Elena has had enough. He has broken his promise to her, and to make matters worse, he’s been an absentee father to Joaquin (Adrian Alonso), their young son. “You don’t know he who is, and worse, he doesn’t know who you are,” she whines.
So she boots him out, and Zorro finds himself crashing in a hotel, boozing it up every night. Three months later, he is at a party thrown by the new rich guy in town, Armand (Rufus Sewell). And guess who Armand’s guest of honor is? If I have to tell you, this is your first movie.
From the first second he’s on screen, we know Armand is going to be the bad guy. That’s hardly a spoiler. The movie makes no attempt to disguise it. Of course, it is up to Zorro to figure out what exactly this Armand character is up to, and win back the love of his estranged wife at the same time. He might also learn to be a better father. So many lessons to be learned.
The Mask of Zorro had broad appeal. It succeeded in winning over men and women of all ages. The Legend of Zorro, however, has taken a different approach. It is aimed squarely at younger viewers. There is nothing inherently wrong with aspiring to be good family entertainment, but Legend is full of problems that are a direct result of the change in target audience.
For starters, saying that the kid is annoying is the understatement of the century. He’s an insufferable brat who somehow knows how to fight despite being about 10 years old and having no idea who his father is (so he didn’t learn from daddy). He gets a number of his own action sequences, each one full of excessive slapstick violence and bumbling bad guys.
The humor is strictly lowbrow this time around. We’re treated to a horse that gets drunk, belches and smokes a pipe. I kept waiting for it to talk, which seemed like a possibility, but it never does. It’s always doing something wacky, though, and is a constant reminder of who the movie is trying to appeal to.
The plot is strictly by the numbers. A monkey could have written this. There’s plenty of melodrama and “messages” thrown in, about the importance of family and why it’s not nice to hate people of other races.
The sword fighting becomes redundant early on. There’s nothing we haven’t seen before, and the fact that they’re bloodless and full of slapstick violence makes them incredibly silly and quite stupid. People constantly fall down and run into boards and other objects, and Zorro disposes of bad guys with a quick punch or knock of the sword, which almost always puts them down for the count.
Last but not least, there’s the running time. The Legend of Zorro is 130 minutes long, which is completely ridiculous and at least 20 minutes longer than it has any right to be. Adults will be bored silly long before it’s over, and kids are going to have a real hard time sitting still for that long.
The Legend of Zorro really doesn’t have much going for it. I’m having a hard time coming up with things I actually liked about it. It’s innocuous and might make for an OK matinee, but it’s an entirely unnecessary movie that pales in comparison to its predecessor.
4/10
I haven’t seen The Mask of Zorro since it came out seven years ago, but I remember enjoying it. Not something I’d ever want to own or see again, but passable entertainment that kept me engaged while I was in the theater.
That said, who in the hell was hoping for a sequel? When the end credits rolled, were a lot of people thinking, “Wow, that was great, but they really left a lot of loose ends, and I hope that seven years from now, they tie it all together.”
I highly doubt it, and I don’t sense a whole lot of interest in another Zorro movie. Nor should there be, because The Legend of Zorro is pretty bad. It is nothing more than a lazy, uninspired sequel.
The action takes place in 1850. California is hoping to become a state and join the union, ensuring the freedom of its residents and their status as Americans.
People are casting their votes at the polls, but not everyone wants California to join the union. McGivens (Nick Chinlund), a Bible quoting bigot who repeatedly states that he is “doing the Lord’s work,” attempts to steal the ballots.
Zorro (Antonio Banderas) ain’t having it. He swoops in, his trademark entrance, does battle with McGivens and his men, and saves the day. The people cheer and California is one step closer to becoming a state (which will happen officially in three months time).
Despite his heroic deeds, not all is well for Zorro (officially, Don Alejandro de la Vega). His lady, Elena (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is not pleased with him. Zorro promised he would quit after this one last job, but he wants to continue working for another three months to ensure that nothing impedes with California’s impending statehood.
Elena has had enough. He has broken his promise to her, and to make matters worse, he’s been an absentee father to Joaquin (Adrian Alonso), their young son. “You don’t know he who is, and worse, he doesn’t know who you are,” she whines.
So she boots him out, and Zorro finds himself crashing in a hotel, boozing it up every night. Three months later, he is at a party thrown by the new rich guy in town, Armand (Rufus Sewell). And guess who Armand’s guest of honor is? If I have to tell you, this is your first movie.
From the first second he’s on screen, we know Armand is going to be the bad guy. That’s hardly a spoiler. The movie makes no attempt to disguise it. Of course, it is up to Zorro to figure out what exactly this Armand character is up to, and win back the love of his estranged wife at the same time. He might also learn to be a better father. So many lessons to be learned.
The Mask of Zorro had broad appeal. It succeeded in winning over men and women of all ages. The Legend of Zorro, however, has taken a different approach. It is aimed squarely at younger viewers. There is nothing inherently wrong with aspiring to be good family entertainment, but Legend is full of problems that are a direct result of the change in target audience.
For starters, saying that the kid is annoying is the understatement of the century. He’s an insufferable brat who somehow knows how to fight despite being about 10 years old and having no idea who his father is (so he didn’t learn from daddy). He gets a number of his own action sequences, each one full of excessive slapstick violence and bumbling bad guys.
The humor is strictly lowbrow this time around. We’re treated to a horse that gets drunk, belches and smokes a pipe. I kept waiting for it to talk, which seemed like a possibility, but it never does. It’s always doing something wacky, though, and is a constant reminder of who the movie is trying to appeal to.
The plot is strictly by the numbers. A monkey could have written this. There’s plenty of melodrama and “messages” thrown in, about the importance of family and why it’s not nice to hate people of other races.
The sword fighting becomes redundant early on. There’s nothing we haven’t seen before, and the fact that they’re bloodless and full of slapstick violence makes them incredibly silly and quite stupid. People constantly fall down and run into boards and other objects, and Zorro disposes of bad guys with a quick punch or knock of the sword, which almost always puts them down for the count.
Last but not least, there’s the running time. The Legend of Zorro is 130 minutes long, which is completely ridiculous and at least 20 minutes longer than it has any right to be. Adults will be bored silly long before it’s over, and kids are going to have a real hard time sitting still for that long.
The Legend of Zorro really doesn’t have much going for it. I’m having a hard time coming up with things I actually liked about it. It’s innocuous and might make for an OK matinee, but it’s an entirely unnecessary movie that pales in comparison to its predecessor.
4/10