stop! just fucking STOP

[The Heart Collector]

STOP. STOP IT. STOP shoving a bunch of QUOTES in every goddamn tv ad for every goddamn movie ever made, you pieces of shit. JUST FUCKING STOP. Do I look retarded? Can you NOT guess that I can READ the fact that the five goddamn quotes in your ad are all from the same goddamn source? Do I give two shits about what the guy from DARK HORIZONS repeatedly thought about some movie? WHY would ANYONE care what critics think of BOOGEYMAN or whatever other piece of shit you're releasing? DOES THE TARGET AUDIENCE PAY ATTENTION TO CRITICS?!?

sTOP. STOP SHOVING QUOTES DOWN MY GODDAMN THROAT. I KNOW EARL DITTMAN AIN'T A REAL REVIEWER. I CAN READ WHEN A REVIEW IS FROM THE THIRD BEST NEWSPAPER IN WICHITA. STOP TRYING TO FUCKING CONVINCE ME OF WATCHING MOVIES WITH WHAT A BUNCH OF FAILED CRITICS SAID.

[Mr-Blonde]

So do you oppose quotes from big name film critics also?

[The Heart Collector]

Less so.

I can understanding trying to sell a movie that is actually one of the most critically acclaimed movies of the year / Oscar material. But that fucking movie with Dakota Fanning and the horses? NO.

[notchreturns]

"I haven't seen horse-riding this brillant since Urban Cowboy!"

[KcMsterpce]

Originally posted by notchreturns
"I haven't seen horse-riding this brillant since Urban Cowboy!"

Is that for Brokeback Mountain? :D

[arto_j]

I guess you saw the RENT ads then. Annoying as fuck.

[Backstabba]

Originally posted by arto_j
I guess you saw the RENT ads then. Annoying as fuck.

Well, they wanna get a large audience that aren't just people who were fans of the broadway show...because most of them...died of AIDS

[RustyRazor]

I support this rant because I believe getting "Tim Livingston from the Anchorage Bugle" to tell me that "Dreamer" is "A powerful family family move that you MUST see".

No insult to anyone on this site from Anchorage, but if I lived somewhere that only saw daylight a few months a year, maybe I
MUST see this movie.

It's the studio's attempts to get you to see their movie by throwing out the best reviews possible.

I just saw an ad on TV from "Zathura" that shows something they're doing a lot of now.

TIME
PEOPLE
USA TODAY
PLAYBOY
ROLLING STONE
STAR
NATIONAL ENQUIRER
HOUSE AND GARDEN
ZAGATS
"O" MAGAZINE

"They all agree. Zathura is the movie event of the fall!"


...okay. Thanks for the info.
But I don't wanna see Zathura!

Damn studios. This is how they do.

[bigred760]

Yeah, I agree with this rant too. I don't like these no names from newspapers and magazines I've never heard of. I know they're just trying to sell the movie, but that's not the way to do it. I don't pay too much attention to critics; I'll see a movie based on whether it looks interesting to me or not. I could give a damn if Ebert & Roeper (who piss me off a lot too) give it two thumbs up. I'd like to tell them where they can stick they're thumbs.

[Lazy Boy]

The quotes that really bug me are for the re-release of Cinderella Man -- Richard Schickel, I believe, stresses the importance of the movie in showing "the values we have lost." Ugh, like they think some sanctimonious comment is going to get me back in theaters to contribute to a film that bombed (although I liked it, don't get me wrong).

[Trail_Blazer]

They're re-releasing Cinderella Man in theatres? Let's see if it can do WORSE than it originally did

[arto_j]

Originally posted by Backstabba
Well, they wanna get a large audience that aren't just people who were fans of the broadway show...because most of them...died of AIDS

The problem with those ads is that there's a voiceover guy saying "critics agree" that it's sprendorific and whatever, providing a dozen examples by ONE GUY and trying to pass it off as a wider critical concensus. It seems borderline insulting.

Other than the quote ones, Ren't campaign has been outstanding, in my opinion.

[Tayzlor]

Originally posted by The Heart Collector
I CAN READ WHEN A REVIEW IS FROM THE THIRD BEST NEWSPAPER IN WICHITA.

Heh. The first best paper uses reviews from the Orlando Sentinel. But, yeah, point taken.

Completely agree with the rant. What I hate most is when they read the quote aloud to you in that ear-tickling voiceover. But I can't imagine a better way of selling a movie than telling you that a bunch of professional movie-watchers found "Chicken Little" the funniest movie in awhile.

Also, I hate it, maybe not hate it, but find it funny when they say so and so movie is the best since so and so. That makes me want to check out the first movie....which is usually a movie that came out a year before. So, you're telling me that "Crash" is the best movie since "Mystic River", so "Mystic River" is better right?

[Pigpen]

I love it when they use a quote from Larry King.

Apparently old Larry loves every movie he sees. :D