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View Full Version : Talking animals in live action movies piss me off


TrippingBalls
12-30-2005, 04:34 PM
The fuck is up Babe. And what the fuck is up with the live-action remake of Charlotte's Web. Pigs don't need to be in movies, they need to be in my belly. Put Babe in the slaughterhouse along with all the other fuckers from Racing Stripes and Babe and you'll have a damn fine dinner to take home with you. Charlotte's Web is stupid. That damn spider has the genius ability to weave messages in his spider-webs, and he wastes his talent on a fuckin farm animal. If I was a spider like that I'd be out killing motherfuckers and then leaving demented messages in spider webs just to fuck with the FBI when they investigate the dead corpse in the morning.

-"Victim was injected with a deadly poison which rendered him immobile, and was then beaten to death with a candy cane."

-"My god, who would have done something like this?"

""Apparently the killer weaved together a spider web with the word 'sloth' in the middle. This is the third victim so far, the killer has left these kinds of messages at the site of all the crimes."

_"My God Joanne, we're dealing with one sick sonuvabtich."

It'd be like Seven, but with a spider instead of Kevin Spacey.

AWP82
12-30-2005, 04:52 PM
That's a BRILLIANT idea for a movie! It beats the hell outta Eight Legged Freaks.

Cronos
12-30-2005, 05:24 PM
:D

that's hilarious, id go to see that film anyday

TheDeadWalk
01-01-2006, 12:06 PM
Originally posted by TrippingBalls
The fuck is up Babe. And what the fuck is up with the live-action remake of Charlotte's Web. Pigs don't need to be in movies, they need to be in my belly.

Shit like this needs to find it's way into rants more often.

Dead Halloween
01-01-2006, 02:09 PM
They're remaking "Charlotte's Web"? I loved that movie as a kid.

Personaly, I hate movies with animals doing sports.

bigred760
01-02-2006, 10:37 AM
Originally posted by TrippingBalls
Charlotte's Web is stupid. That damn spider has the genius ability to weave messages in his spider-webs, and he wastes his talent on a fuckin farm animal.


Actually, I believe the spider was a SHE. Charlotte is a girl's name, most of the time. :D

blk_flower
01-06-2006, 07:40 PM
yeah charollete was a female

but why would talking animals be so bad, escpecially in a book adaptation to film, yes lets leave out main characters even if they are animals who can talk. And a charolletes eb live action film isn't bad, sure I love the cartoon film as a kid but this idea is what people love about films they want to know what a live action or what something could be like in films. I think it's a great idea

Pestilence
01-16-2006, 01:31 AM
Talking animals is a pet peeve of mine....I just HATE them!

"Oooh, isn't it so funny and cute!" NO IT ISNT!

That killer-weaver-spider is an excellent idea! A guy in a strait-jacket screaming "But it was the spidddeerrr!" as he's dragged to his cell. Top stuff.