Runawayrunaway!
01-24-2006, 08:53 PM
I just got an award for best short film--a 6 minutr revenge movie wherein a 16 year-old boy with a moustache gets revenge on child abusers, with flashbacks of child abuse featuring "The Wheels On the Bus Go Round and Round" in the background, my only personal touch to the movie, the rest of which I just stole from Chanwook Park-- at my school's film festival, and I really want to make my first feature film. I've been writing and writing and writing for three years now, had some good ideas, had some bad ones that I thought were good, but most of all I've never finished a script I could actually do with the complete lack of money, time, actors, and resources that I have.
But just recently, I got a killer (pun not intended, if you're a big enough pussy to think puns are still funny) idea for an opening scene that I could probably pull off.
I want the first scene in my first feature film to be so over the top horrifically, audaciously, sadistically, shockingly violent, that it will immediately get noticed, no matter how lame the rest of the movie (a plot has yet to be determined) may be. I'm not suggesting that the movie would be lame, because I have a good eye, some creative energy, and a bizarre, sick sense of humor. (I don't see why people don't see the humor in Audition. It's funny...I mean, she chucks his foot against the window! That's awesome!)
Anyhoo, here's the idea.
This guy walks into a public bathroom eating yogurt, probably blueberry, or cherry. He takes a spoonful of it, then sets it and the spoon down on the sink, and heads over to the urinals to do what folks do at urinals. He hears, and we see, a man in black (because they always wear black in these sorts of movies) enter one of the stalls. We only see the man's feet as he goes into the stall. The yogurt guy recoils the snake, zips, and washes his hands. He grabs a paper towel, dries his hands, and picks up his yogurt. He's holding the wet, crunched up paper towel to throw it in the trash. He walks towards the door. But the guy inside the stall, he's got other ideas. He's lying on the floor right by the stall door. He opens a pocket knife, and slashes the guy's Achilles tendon right as he's passing by. The yogurt loses the spoon and rolls across the ground, the paper towel comes out of his hand. The guy hits the ground, bleeding and screaming like a motherfucker. Now, he doesn't know what's happened to his ankle. He reaches down to it, and finds he's got blood all over his hand. He tries to struggle to his feet, but as he does that, the guy inside the stall stands up, and smashes the stall door right into his back, sending his face crashing into the wall. The killer, as I'll call him from now on, slams his boot down into the screaming guy's back. He takes his head and smashes it a few more times into the floor. Then, he raises his head up, and grabs the guy's tongue. He starts cutting away at it with his little knife. The guy's gurgling blood all over the place as he's doing this. The tip of the tongue comes off, and, sitting on the bloody tongue-less guy's back, he sticks it into a little plastic bag in his pocket. As he's doing this, the guy is clawing for his precious spoon a few inches out of reach. He starts moving for it, but the killer steps on his hand. Then the killer grabs the spoon, holds the guy's head, and gouges his eyeball out. He flicks it away after he's done with it. He takes the paper towel, and stuffs it into the victim's mouth. Then he stands up over him, and brings his boot down hard on his head.
Cut on impact to:
A man bashing some garlic with a hammer. See, throughout the previous scene, at certain moments, there are quick cutaways to a guy preparing some food. This guy gets a premonition like his friend's in danger. So he picks up the phone, and dials his friend's cell phone number. We zoom into his eyeball, and out from...
The disembodied, forcibly-removed eyeball sitting in a puddle of blood, eye fluid, and yogurt. A cell phone rings, and the killer's boot comes crushing down onto the eyeball with a gooey, crunchy noise. He takes the man's cell phone out of his pants pocket (his legs are twitching wildly on account of his spine being severed), and checks the caller ID, revealing the name of the man on the other end--the guy making the food. He takes the phone, takes off a pair of gloves he's been wearing, and throws them in the trash. He stuffs the phone into his pocket, and walks outside of the bathroom. He stops as soon as he's outside and wipes some eyeball tissue off of his foot, before walking away.
Yeah, that's a little over the top. That's the point.
But just recently, I got a killer (pun not intended, if you're a big enough pussy to think puns are still funny) idea for an opening scene that I could probably pull off.
I want the first scene in my first feature film to be so over the top horrifically, audaciously, sadistically, shockingly violent, that it will immediately get noticed, no matter how lame the rest of the movie (a plot has yet to be determined) may be. I'm not suggesting that the movie would be lame, because I have a good eye, some creative energy, and a bizarre, sick sense of humor. (I don't see why people don't see the humor in Audition. It's funny...I mean, she chucks his foot against the window! That's awesome!)
Anyhoo, here's the idea.
This guy walks into a public bathroom eating yogurt, probably blueberry, or cherry. He takes a spoonful of it, then sets it and the spoon down on the sink, and heads over to the urinals to do what folks do at urinals. He hears, and we see, a man in black (because they always wear black in these sorts of movies) enter one of the stalls. We only see the man's feet as he goes into the stall. The yogurt guy recoils the snake, zips, and washes his hands. He grabs a paper towel, dries his hands, and picks up his yogurt. He's holding the wet, crunched up paper towel to throw it in the trash. He walks towards the door. But the guy inside the stall, he's got other ideas. He's lying on the floor right by the stall door. He opens a pocket knife, and slashes the guy's Achilles tendon right as he's passing by. The yogurt loses the spoon and rolls across the ground, the paper towel comes out of his hand. The guy hits the ground, bleeding and screaming like a motherfucker. Now, he doesn't know what's happened to his ankle. He reaches down to it, and finds he's got blood all over his hand. He tries to struggle to his feet, but as he does that, the guy inside the stall stands up, and smashes the stall door right into his back, sending his face crashing into the wall. The killer, as I'll call him from now on, slams his boot down into the screaming guy's back. He takes his head and smashes it a few more times into the floor. Then, he raises his head up, and grabs the guy's tongue. He starts cutting away at it with his little knife. The guy's gurgling blood all over the place as he's doing this. The tip of the tongue comes off, and, sitting on the bloody tongue-less guy's back, he sticks it into a little plastic bag in his pocket. As he's doing this, the guy is clawing for his precious spoon a few inches out of reach. He starts moving for it, but the killer steps on his hand. Then the killer grabs the spoon, holds the guy's head, and gouges his eyeball out. He flicks it away after he's done with it. He takes the paper towel, and stuffs it into the victim's mouth. Then he stands up over him, and brings his boot down hard on his head.
Cut on impact to:
A man bashing some garlic with a hammer. See, throughout the previous scene, at certain moments, there are quick cutaways to a guy preparing some food. This guy gets a premonition like his friend's in danger. So he picks up the phone, and dials his friend's cell phone number. We zoom into his eyeball, and out from...
The disembodied, forcibly-removed eyeball sitting in a puddle of blood, eye fluid, and yogurt. A cell phone rings, and the killer's boot comes crushing down onto the eyeball with a gooey, crunchy noise. He takes the man's cell phone out of his pants pocket (his legs are twitching wildly on account of his spine being severed), and checks the caller ID, revealing the name of the man on the other end--the guy making the food. He takes the phone, takes off a pair of gloves he's been wearing, and throws them in the trash. He stuffs the phone into his pocket, and walks outside of the bathroom. He stops as soon as he's outside and wipes some eyeball tissue off of his foot, before walking away.
Yeah, that's a little over the top. That's the point.