Silent Hill - Eternal Damnation

[rodvcpetrie]

Silent Hill - Eternal Damnation is the name for my fan-fic of Silent Hill. I have just started writing it and have a little excerpt to share with you. This is taken from the beginning. It's only short but I'd like to share it with you to see what you guys think about it so far.

I haven't thought of characters as yet because I am just writing this as I the thoughts come to mind.

SILENT HILL - ETERNAL DAMNATION

Written by

Rod Petrie


Many people have been beckoned to the fog ridden town of Silent Hill. Those who have lived to tell of their tales are eternally scarred by their experiences. This is the account of one such individual who was beckoned to the town for reasons unknown.

“Those who know me understand my point of view on life; it is to be cherished and nurtured, for all generations.”

“That was my point of view on life, until I visited that town.”

Silent Hill was once a prime holiday destination with many tourist attractions. Many people visited this town and had the experience of a lifetime. That was many years ago.

All that remains of this once great holiday spot are told in whispers, in silence, in the dead of night. It has become the source of many late night campfire stories. Who lives there? Does it really exist? Where is it? Why is it?

The legends surrounding this town are as dense and mysterious as the fog that devours it.

Unfortunately that's all I have so far. What do you think of it?

[X-Nightcrawler]

Well, here's the opinion from Silent Hill's number 1 fan.

It's too little to give a very thorough critique but for what it is, I don't love it. The descriptions seem to be too pretentious, think in the setups for the Silent Hill games, they don't really have any "pseudo-intellectual" "quasi-deep" ramblings from the characters before they arrive in the town. Their intros seemed very natural, like regular human thoughts. Also, I wouldn't say that Silent Hill was some huge tourist attraction, because it really wasn't. The resort area was visited by tourists but wasn't some huge spot where you'd get the experience of a lifetime, in fact it was loved because it was so quiet. Also, have a look at some fiction novels and see how they structure dialogue formatting and such, it seems a little off in your story."

On the good side, some of the prose here could mean a good mood setter.

This might be good later on, but you've given us too little for us to give you much in respose. Keep posting what you write, I'll be interested.

[rodvcpetrie]

Thanks for your feedback.

I'll attach the file to my next post after I've written at least five pages to see if its improved since.

I look forward to further feedback.

[Blackdagon1334]

I agree with X you have a great mood setter on your hands, but its too little to set up a true good critique...but it's got an eerie feel to it and it leaves the reader wondering. I'm looking forward to hearing more as well, good luck to you.

[rodvcpetrie]

I've had a break from writing this fan-fic as I have been polishing some things on some scripts I am writing.

To help inspire me while writing this fan-fic I getting music from the games so I can listen and write at the same time.

Kind of my way to get into it.

I'll be writing some more shortly though so when I've written a good chunk of stuff I'll post what I get.

[rodvcpetrie]

I finally thought of a synopsis for Silent Hill - Eternal Damnation:

"Christine Kelly is one of the worlds best selling horror authors. Her books have scared and terrified readers for many years. Christine needs to get away from the hustle and bustle of Ashfield to find a place where she can find inspiration for her next novel.

Christine receives a letter informing her that a reservation has been booked at the Toluca Motel in Silent Hill. Having no memory of ever booking a reservation, Christine assumes it was organised by her publisher, whom she had explained to about needing a place for inspiration.

What Christine will experience in Silent Hill will by unlike any fictional story she's ever written."

I have only managed to write about six pages so far. I'm trying to incorporate a sense of interaction for the reader. I don't mean in the old choose your path style; I mean that while reading you'll also be challenged by the clues that Christine finds, so my hope is to make it as if you're sharing the experience with the character.

When I have more pages written I'll post them here for feedback.