the lamest movie in the history of the world

[Eskimo]

I would have to say panic room, final fantasy, joe dirt, forest gump, drop dead gorgeous, 40 days and 40 nights, baby geniuses, zoolander, any brady bunch movies, mars attacks, spice world... you get the point.

[The Shootin Surgeon]

lamest movie in the history of the world? Easy: 8mm.

[Weapon X]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Eskimo:
final fantasy</font>

I'm going to pretend I DIDN'T read that...

[Helen]

The lamest movie is BY FAR Titanic, where to begin??? it got so much credic for nothing at all, it was stupid, predictable (duh) and it was TOOO LOOONG!!! i couldn't wait until i got out of the cinema...

[bankholdup]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Eskimo:
[B]forest gump[B]</font>

Ha...yeah, ok.

[flowrchild]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Eskimo:
[B]40 days and 40 nights[B]</font>

I certainly agree with this one. What a piece of garbage!

[Danny L]

As with Flowrchild, I think 40 days and 40 night was the lamest shit I ever saw. Naked Gun 3 is a runner up.

[SAI]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Eskimo:
panic room</font>

Oh come on. It's not Fincher's best film, but one of the worst in the history of the world, hardly.

Oh well, it your opinion I guess.

As for me: Worst MADE falm (but still fun) Plan 9 From Outer Space
Worst film: Star Wars Episode 1

[ColinM]

What does "lame" mean? Does it simply mean bad, or what?

[Grebdron]

Broken Arrow.

Slater-"You're Crazy!!!
Travolta-"yeah, isn't it cool?"

This was the worst acted and worst written "A" list movie I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing.

[rtatick]

You should have said "lamest movie to come to theaters"... You're limiting your choices to "big" movies. You mean to say you've NEVER rented an obscure movie that SUCKED beyond belief.

My vote:
A quasi-horror movie called "The Item".

[Grebdron]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by rtatick:
You should have said "lamest movie to come to theaters"... You're limiting your choices to "big" movies. You mean to say you've NEVER rented an obscure movie that SUCKED beyond belief.

My vote:
A quasi-horror movie called "The Item".</font>


That's why I said "A" list. I've seen some definite trash, but I think Broken Arrow is the worst "big" movie.

[PorcheRacer]

BONES

[joelc]

worst movie ever is Freddy Got Fingered.

[Thursday's Child]

"The Pledge". someone tell Penn to stick to acting please.

[Muha]

easy question...

pearl fucking harbor

[RaiderMan]

hmmmm....lets see lamest movie ever.

I have so many I'm so excited right now.

I'll list five.

1. A.I. how many endings did this shit hole film have?
2. Vanilla Sky, I like Tommie, but this movie didn't end. I was waiting to have some guy come in the theater and tell me I was dreaming also, oh wait that was my wife that woke me up.
3. Monsters Ball, best actress? I think I can win an Oscar for over-acting. I can star in a porno and win too.
4. Eyes Wide Shut. Tommie again makes a crap piss soaked film.
5. Any movie with a kid or rapper as the main character...(pointing) you know who you are.

Out!

[Person]

Like I posted somewhere else, The Deer Hunter is a big, huge, steaming pile of shit! Someone should send this movie back down to hell where it came from!

[Reigh Kaufman]

Holy Hell, Person...

You're only 3 posts in and you have just attacked one of the most emotionally draining, best acted and wonderfully shot movies of the past 30 years...

I hope you have some smart evidence to retort, cause I have a feeling you are about to be toasted...

[EBastard]

I've only seen bits and pieces of it,but I know a good movie when I see one,and it didn't take a full viewing of it to realize TDH is a great movie.

[Jay_visigoth]

PEARL HARBOR
INDEPENDENCE DAY
THE PATRIOT
I just don't like them, oh The president of the U.S he's gonna fly an airplane, he's gonna save the world! Or The english bastards they totally fucked up our families! Damn them! IF U.S people say that, what do you expect from Scotish?

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
Originaly posted by RaiderMan

1. A.I. how many endings did this shit hole film have?
2. Vanilla Sky, I like Tommie, but this movie didn't end. I was waiting to have some guy come in the theater and tell me I was dreaming also, oh wait that was my wife that woke me up.
3. Monsters Ball, best actress? I think I can win an Oscar for over-acting. I can star in a porno and win too.
4. Eyes Wide Shut. Tommie again makes a crap piss soaked film.</font>

Excuse me... What is your favourite movie?
You hate Kubrick and Spielberg that's for sure..
From my point of view---Eyes wide shut was style over substance. A.I was substance over style...
Vanilla Sky is what i call: A re-make that should have never be made...
Monster's Ball was a very good Drama, propably it didn't touch you...don't blame the director or actress for that!




[This message has been edited by Jay_visigoth (edited 07-14-2002).]

[RaiderMan]

Jay...Jay...are you sure you want to be a shit talker to "The Shit Talker"?

Favorite movie is Braveheart, the scarfices made for freedom that we have taken for granted.

The only move that sick bastard Kubrick made, that was good, was the Shining which is one of my all-time favorites, so there goes that theroy.

Spielberg is one of the best ever! But, he made a movie that Kubrick had ideas for, and that was a bad movie. Did that movie flop in the box office? How about Eyes Wide Shut? That's what I thought.

Monster Ball didn't touch me because it had no good moral values.

Her husband gets fried, her son dies from a hit and run, his dad's a racist bastard, his son shoots himself, they all visit the local whore, there's a five minute porno scene, and out of nowhere Billy Bob makes this huge change and doesn't hate blacks anymore. If you wanna call that drama go ahead, I call it crap. So I don't blame the director, or the actress, I blame the writer for writting such a distasteful movie.

Make sure you wanna step on my feet again, cause I didn't say shit to you, I listed the lamest movies "I" think. If you don't agree with that then fine but don't be an asshole about it because I am the king of assholes, it's my middle name! Out!

[Zarathustra]

(contains minor spoilers)


This probably isn't the worst or lamest piece of crap ever, however its the only one that sticks in my mind. Probably because I only saw it on Friday...anyway.

RESIDENT EVIL.... what the FU..!

P'WS' Anderson (He's soo dumb, he thinks we can't tell its him, because he has stuck two random letters between his first and surname, just so people don't associate him with....eeeek SOLDIER and OOHHHHH GOD Mortal Kombat. ) should be sat down in a chair and have some talent smacked into him.

What was he thinking....does he want to be a modern day Ed Wood, and if he does I can't see Tim Burton making a film about his life thirty years from now!

Anyway, here we go.

Make Up, for a film about rampant zombies, chowing down on random commando Grunt types, you need GOOD make up.

Step by Step guide: Creating Zombies for Dumbies.

1) Smother some guys face in flour or white paint. Don't be stingy, smack it on like theres no tomorrow!

2) Dab a small amount of blood/jam/ketchup/red paint on mouth, to simulate the effect that the Zombies have been eating people already.

3) Dab another spot of Blood at a ramdom point on the subjects face. preferably above the eye or lower cheek, no need for diversity, no one will care anyway.

4) Apply black eyeliner, because all Zombies accessorise with black eyeliner!

Also as well as make up being not up to the proverbial scrath, what about The Licker, My 9 year old Springer Spaniel is scarier. It is possibly some of the worst CGI ever to be put to celluloid.

Moving on....
Why does Marco Beltrami usually good at the old suspense schtik, create an atmosphere so undeniably dull, the music sounds as if it was composed by a comatose dog. Every potential scare/ scream/ jitter/ was ruined because as the music, reached the point of no return, the pinnicle of its life something preferably a zombie, lurched at the screen in some half assed way....Using music to create suspense is so cliched these days there must be other ways to create a chilling atmosphere.

However nothing will compare to the sheer delights of THE RED QUEEN......Oooh?

For some obscure reason the AI defence system for the Hive is represented by...........A SEVEN YEAR OLD GIRL....chilling. Paul (WS, snigger, chortle) Anderson obviously thought it would be ultra disturbing for a little girl to say

"your all going to die down here"

I on the other hand, laughed my ass off at such an absurd idea. Instead it provided some comical relief.

The story itself was incoherant and made no real sense, people would turn up in the middle of scenes without being there before. Also in one of the worst examples of editing, Alice is seen under attack from a bunch of flesh eaters, then suddenly she is seen trying to get into some lab...it makes no sense lil sister!

There was also some big twist, involving some guy we're supposed to care about, but don't because he appears on screen for like a second before the BIG TWIST is revealed... anyway.....enjoy?



[This message has been edited by Zarathustra (edited 07-14-2002).]

[LAW]

What immediately comes to my mind is..

Eye of the Beholder
The Pillow Book
A Life Less Ordinary
Nightwatch
The Phantom Menace
Emma

Anyone noticing a pattern here?

[BadCoverVersion]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by RaiderMan:
hmmmm....lets see lamest movie ever.

2. Vanilla Sky, I like Tommie, but this movie didn't end. I was waiting to have some guy come in the theater and tell me I was dreaming also, oh wait that was my wife that woke me up.
4. Eyes Wide Shut. Tommie again makes a crap piss soaked film.</font>

I could not agree more...

2 huge steaming piles of pretentious wank!

[sergiopauloferreira]

Nothing but Trouble

[Scarface98.9]

Clash of the Titans

[the_sneaker]

I'm hoping you're kidding when you said Forrest Gump. But the lamest well the new Crocidile Hunter movie. Now, don't jump all over my back for seeing it, it was the only one that I haven't seen yet that's playing at the closest theater by my house. Saw it yesterday because i was bored, real bored. Rating 0/10

P.S. Oh and of course those dicks Ebert & Roeper loved it.

[Psychocandy]

I doubt any of you schmoes have seen it. But a movie called Beg holds a special place in my heart as the lamest crock of shit i've ever had the misfortune to sit through.

Has anyone seen this?

[flowrchild]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by LAW:
What immediately comes to my mind is..

Eye of the Beholder
The Pillow Book
A Life Less Ordinary
Nightwatch
The Phantom Menace
Emma

Anyone noticing a pattern here?</font>

Awww, please say you don't hate Ewan Mcgregor!

[LAW]

I Loved Ewan McGregor. Years ago I had never heard of him before and then I saw Trainspotting. I don't know what it was particularly appealing about him at that time because he was too skinny, almost bald and was a druggie in that movie, but something was definately appealing about him. I got hooked some how. But then it got to the point that I made myself like Shallow Grave just because he was in it. And even though there was nothing likable in the character he played or any of the other characters. Now that I have thought about it, nothing since Trainspotting has been, well, remotely good. It pisses me off more because I had developed a crush on the guy and now I'm like, "What the hell happened to this guy?" I don't and won't pretend to like any of his movies since. Who the hell is his agent for Christ's sake! Talking him into these idiot roles?? They should be FIRED!!!!!!

[A.J. Hakari]

Kevin Costner's crudfest THE POSTMAN.

"You want a waaaar?! I'll give you a waaaar?!"

Gimme a break, Kev. Do more of THIRTEEN DAYS and less of DRAGONFLY, Kev.

[flowrchild]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by LAW:
I Loved Ewan McGregor. Years ago I had never heard of him before and then I saw Trainspotting. I don't know what it was particularly appealing about him at that time because he was too skinny, almost bald and was a druggie in that movie, but something was definately appealing about him. I got hooked some how. But then it got to the point that I made myself like Shallow Grave just because he was in it. And even though there was nothing likable in the character he played or any of the other characters. Now that I have thought about it, nothing since Trainspotting has been, well, remotely good. It pisses me off more because I had developed a crush on the guy and now I'm like, "What the hell happened to this guy?" I don't and won't pretend to like any of his movies since. Who the hell is his agent for Christ's sake! Talking him into these idiot roles?? They should be FIRED!!!!!!</font>

I agree that he does take a lot of dumb roles. But I did love "Moulin Rouge" most recently. That and "Trainspotting" are my 2 favorite Mcgregor movies.

[EBastard]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by flowrchild:
I agree that he does take a lot of dumb roles. But I did love "Moulin Rouge" most recently. That and "Trainspotting" are my 2 favorite Mcgregor movies.</font>Moulin Rouge,Trainspotting,Shallow Grave,Black Hawk Down,and Star Wars:Episode 2 here.

[mattjk_17]

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Eskimo:
final fantasy...forest gump...mars attacks</font>

I am extremely offended!! I love all three of those movies! Now you want bad?? Try Batman and Robin!! Hey, I could watch that tonight if I'm EXTREMELY bored (not bloody likely!!).

[Hannibal21]

The Master of Disguise
Rollerball
American Psycho
The Blair Witch Project
100% of Tom Green's movies
99% of Adam Sandler's movies

[Tom Samborski]

In my opinion, Kid Cop. The scenes where Peter rides his bike are incredibly lame, because he can't ride it at all! The bad guys were really fucking stupid too. Lame, Lame, LAME!!

[jammers]

I would have to say the lamest (most recent) movies are:

1) here on earth
2) the tuxedo
3)Blair witch project 2

I absolutely DREADED watching these movies. There's a TON more lame movies - but these 3 really come to mind

[A.J. Hakari]

Not the worst movie ever, but the lamest has to be CORKY ROMANO. I think Kattan is a talented guy, but the hideousness of this "comedy" was about enough for me to carry around a personal vendetta against the guy. You stole 90 minutes of my life with that insipid flick; you happy? :rolleyes:

*Try A.J.'s new drink, Bitterness, from the makers of "Sarcasm Cola"*

[Cyclonus]

Anyone see these Disney made-for-TV movies? Is there a proper word equivelent to the phrase "black hole of mediocrity?"

[Grim H.]

Sexy Beast

-listening to Ben Kingsley yell for two hours is just annoying.

[Tommy Doyle]

Worst "big" movie: Eyes Wide Shut... Man, all the aimless pointless wandering, the horrible acting, the horrible script, the horrible sets... it's a good thing it all came to such a huge payoff in the end...

Worst "not-big" ( :p ) movie: I saw a movie called Terrified once... don't remember shit all about it... just absolutely horrible, right to the core... blech.

[MCoyne13]

Early 90's movie called "My Boyfriend's Back". Kid dies and comes back as a zombie with the goal to take the hot girl to the prom. Complete garbage.

[Tommy Doyle]

Originally posted by MCoyne13
Early 90's movie called "My Boyfriend's Back". Kid dies and comes back as a zombie with the goal to take the hot girl to the prom. Complete garbage.

Oh geez... such a guilty pleasure of mine... :o

[Michael_myers]

Bloody Birthday
Jason X
Jason takes Manhattan
Howard the Duck
Grease 2
2001: A space Odysey (I hate this, but love Shining, Strangeglove, Lolita and Clockwork Orange, boring shit 2001: A Space Idiocy was, and don't say Im to juvenile and I didn't understand it)
West Side Story
Freddy's Dead
Freddy got Fingered
Lost in Space

the list goes on and on

[POLYDISTORTION]

I Have 20:

http://www.ymdb.com/user_worst20_view.asp?usersid=5013&ce=y

[Jayen]

Originally posted by Reigh Kaufman
Holy Hell, Person...

You're only 3 posts in and you have just attacked one of the most emotionally draining, best acted and wonderfully shot movies of the past 30 years...

I hope you have some smart evidence to retort, cause I have a feeling you are about to be toasted...

I agree with you Reigh...while none of Mike Cimino's subsequent output can come close to matching his first one, The Deer Hunter was one heck of an emotional ride. Some scenes may have seemed too long, esp the wedding, but I think that was done on purpose to escalate the emotional quotient of the movie, & then, the butt-grabbing, heart-wrenching russian roulette scene....

Perhaps the only thing I found distasteful was seeing Rob DeNiro running around showing his weeny....come on Bob, you're in the same legendary class as Paul Newman, Dustin Hoffman, Marlon Brando & Al Pacino. DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT, AN ACTOR OF YOUR CLASS ?! I sure hope you got paid much as much as Halle Berry did for her "disclosure" in Swordfish.

[Epyon@890_16]

I have a few movies:

Pearl Harbor-Ben Affleck (evil!)
Daredevil-Ben Affleck, again (evil!!)
Battlefield Earth- John Travolta (wacky scientologists!)
Titanic- Leonardo Decaprio (Awesome comedy...wait...was I supposed to laugh? Oops.)
Night of the Bloody Apes-??? (Out of the ten times I've tried to watch this...I've never sat through the whole thing. Its that bad.)

I have plenty more, but this is all I can come up with right now...

[Ripper1888]

Just Down Right Suck Ass:
All Freddy Prinze Jr flicks,except IKWYDLS is ok and thats only because its a horror film and has SMG and JLH.
Pearl Harbor
Titanic
Movies based on video games 98% suck
Zoolander
Movies based on television series-Scooby Doo,The Brady Bunch need I say more.
The Blair Witch Movies
The Batman movies(Post Tim Burton)
Remakes-99% suck
Austin Powers movies

Corny/lame but still enjoyed them:
Spiderman
Dumb and Dumber,well pretty much any Jim Carrey comedy
Ed Wood films
Classic Monster movies
Mars Attacks!
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
The Ernest movies starring the late Jim Varney
Tremors
Mallrats

thats it for now

[Living_Dead_Dude]

Originally posted by Eskimo
I would have to say panic room, final fantasy, joe dirt, forest gump, drop dead gorgeous, 40 days and 40 nights, baby geniuses, zoolander, any brady bunch movies, mars attacks, spice world... you get the point.

forest gump!? I can understand that it may not be to your liking but the lamest movie in history???

I liked drop dead gorgous!!

agreed on baby geniuses (it was on t.v. yesterday!)

The Brady Bunch movies cracked my arse up, from what I remember (I saw them a long time ago) I LOVED EM'!!

I loved Mars Attacks! but I'm a Burton fan and my opinion may be biast

Spice World, well.........:D

[Brock-Landers]

"Batman & Robin"

[DaMovieMan]

lame defintaly goes to:

FREDDY GOT FINGERED.

I think the worst thing ever put on celluloid.

Makes American Pie a masterpiece and Dude, Where's My Car a *** movie.


DMM

[eraserhead_99]

Originally posted by Eskimo
I would have to say panic room, final fantasy, joe dirt, forest gump, drop dead gorgeous, 40 days and 40 nights, baby geniuses, zoolander, any brady bunch movies, mars attacks, spice world... you get the point.

hmm i like alot of those movies and none of them have anything to do with each other so I'm a litte lost as to what 'lame' means. I'd have to say Chicago though. That movie was painfully uninteresting.

[JurassicMik]

Vanilla Sky was beyond me, and pretty damn lame.

[Donnie_Darko]

Lamest:
ID:4 - Idependence Day

Worst:
Unbreakable

Most Retarded:
Godzilla '99

[Jim H]

You're only 3 posts in and you have just attacked one of the most emotionally draining, best acted and wonderfully shot movies of the past 30 years...


I think the Deer Hunter is a kinda bad movie as well. Great acting and a few great scenes don't fix poor pacing, jarring editing, and a storyline that randomly is all over the place with no transition.

It is not even REMOTELY close to the lamest movie ever, though. People say worst EVER, or best EVER, etc, way too much.

[artguylarry]

The Gods Must Be Crazy

[edgeofhell]

I've said it once and I'll say it again:


"Escape from LA".........barf

[zeppelin]

Painfully lame:
3000 Miles to Graceland
Batman & Robin
Battlefield Earth
Crocodile Hunter: Collison Course
The Fast and the Furious
Freddy Got Fingered
Jeepers Creepers
Pearl Harbor
The Postman
Teenage Caveman
Waterworld

Lame but enjoyable:
Batman (the 60's movie based on the TV show)
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Showgirls (This would have been in the "painfully lame" category had I not seen it again on TV last week, and found it hilarious. Don't take it seriously and it's hysterical.)

[zeppelin]

Painfully lame:
3000 Miles to Graceland
Batman & Robin
Battlefield Earth
Crocodile Hunter: Collison Course
The Fast and the Furious
Freddy Got Fingered
Jeepers Creepers
Pearl Harbor
The Postman
Teenage Caveman
Waterworld

Lame but enjoyable:
Batman (the 60's movie based on the TV show)
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Showgirls (This would have been in the "painfully lame" category had I not seen it again on TV last week, and found it hilarious. Don't take it seriously and it's hysterical.)


Whoever said The Deer Hunter...well, I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I don't get how anyone could think that is the lamest movie EVER, even if they didn't like it.

[blankpage]

The Core

and

FearDotCom



:mad: Films can't get much worse.

[TATU]

Bloody Murder
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4
Razorblade Smile
Buffy the Vampyre Slayer: The Movie
Garden Of The Dead

[Joel_R]

Probably The Avengers, but there are some others that come close (Batman & Robin comes to mind).