SHOCK VALUE: TV's Most Shocking (Fictional) Moments!
 

And I'm not talking about Janet Jackson's nipple...what are some of the most shocking moments ever captured in a fictional series?

I've gotta give this one to E.R., hands down!

From the helicopter severing Dr. Romano's arm...to the bloody slashings of Carter and Lucy...to Dr. Greene getting beaten to a bloody pulp by an unknown assailant in the men's restroom, ER has truly shocked the hell outta me on several occasions!

Even Hathaway's reunion with Doug Ross (and that surprise cameo by George Clooney) was a shock.

Also, although politically incorrect, I LOVED IT when Erik Palladino's character called Dr. Beaver a Nazi dyke when she fired him! That was shocking!

E.R. never fails to amaze me, after ten years.

What are yours?

*ALL THREE ARE SPOILERS FOR BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER*


I know it's either "love it or hate it" around these parts, but in Season Five of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, when Joyce Summers (Buffy's mom) died, I was in shock for a week. I kept expecting to watch the next episode where Buffy would wake up from a horrible nightmare. Buffy walking into her house and calling up the stairs for her mom as the audience sees her lifeless body laying on the couch, when Buffy turns and sees her, all she's able to do is whimper out "mommy?"

And even though it was spoiled for me... Tara's death at the end of Season Six once again on Buffy, was incredibly shocking. A stray bullet rips through her and her blood sparys out across Willow's face and chest.

And finally, Anya's death literally left me in tears at the series finale. When that demon walked up behind her and raised his sword, I was thinking "eh, she'll live", and then he brings it down and slices from her neck/shoulder down through her chest... I couldn't even speak.




*SPOILERS FOR ROSEANNE*


I know they're all old, but nobody wants anything spoiled for them! :D ;)

In the series finale when it was revealed Dan had passed away, very shocking. (Forget the entire shlock that was the final season, that one moment left me with my mouth hanging wide open).



Others?? Hmmm... toughie... OH!

All in the Family... when Edith was attacked in her own house and almost raped... especially for it's time... very shocking.



That's all I can think of now.

Oh, and I totally agree about Romano's arm on E.R.

I rarely am able to catch an entire episode these days, and this past year I've seen exactly two.

****Obvious spoilers for E.R.****

The first one was the episode where Romano's arm was chopped off... I think I actually sat back in shock, I couldn't believe what I had just seen.

The second one was when the helicopter lost control taking off from the roof of the hospital, fell to the street below, and you guessed it... landed right on top of Romano!!

Gotta give E.R. total props in the shockability dept.!!

I'm sure all 24 fans will agree with me on this one...

*MAJOR SEASON ONE SPOILERS*





















































When Nina was revealed to be the mole, even though she was cleared earlier on in the season.












































*END MAJOR SEASON ONE SPOILERS*

SEASON 3 STAR TREK THE NEXT GENERATION
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
When Picard was turned into a Borg.

Tommy Doyle
 

Good one with Joyces death on Buffy

Cool topic!
 

***SPOILERS FOR 24 COMING UP***
The last couple of eps feature this storyline about a hotel getting infected with a deadly virus. People start dying within hours, it actually looks very ugly and painfull, there is no cure, and now the CTU female agent is handing out suicide pills. Although I have no ethical problem with this, I do find the storyline and the images very shocking. Plus it amazes me that The States are airing this type of TV, but don't get me wrong; I think that's great.

***SPOILERS FOR BUFFY COMING UP***
I was very entertainingly shocked by the full episode of 'Doppelganger' in the third season.
Come on, that was hands down kinky stuff! :D
And am I the only one that thought that the sex that Spike and Buffy had at the end of 'Wrecked' was somewhat shocky? I mean, the building came down! :confused:

***SPOILERS FOR ER COMING UP***
Romano's arm (I actually screamed when I saw that).

***SPOILERS FOR ALIAS COMING UP***
The beginning of season two; the introduction of Sydney's mother.

***SPOILERS FOR STAR TREK TNG COMING UP***
Mentioned before, but probably the biggest shocker of all time must've been Picard being Borg in 'Best Of Both Worlds'.
Damn, that was good..

SPOILERS FOR ALIAS

In the episode for the Superbowl(I think it was called 'Phase Two'),at the end you find out that Sydney's best friend Francie was killed. My mouth was open in shock.

There was also the season finale when you find out she disappeared for a couple of years.

The first season of NYPD Blue. Cussin' and ass shots.

I stopped watching ER when they killed off Mark Greene. That show's gone to hell after all the main characters started dying. DAMN YOU ER! :D

When Carter lay bleeding to death on ER and he sees Lucy on the other side of the bed, that was the most shocking and saddest moment on the show.

It's called life.


I love the song that was playing..."Battleflag" by the Lo Fidelity All-Stars. "I said Allelluia!"

Did you know that Dr. Beaver herself (Laura Innes) directed that great episode?

BRASS EYE, PAEDOGEDDON!

***Snippets from various online sources***

Brass Eye is a SATIRICAL/SPOOF news show. It was the cause of mucho controversy purely because it 'duped' prominent public figures into pledging onscreen support for fictional - and plainly absurd - charities and causes. One foolish government official even went so far as to bring up the issue of a fictitious drug named 'Cake' during a meeting within the Houses of Parliament ("Cake purportedly affects an area of the brain called Shatner's Bassoon" :D).

http://www.filenikki.com/images/DVD/brass/2.jpg

Anyway...the 'Paedogeddon' episode was intended to highlight the "highly sensitive subject of paedophilia, and more specifically, moral panic in the media". Instead it caused MORAL OUTRAGE and a mass tabloid campaign against its creator, Mr Christopher Morris.

Now Morris is NO stranger to controversy. In 1997 Channel 4 Commissioner Micheal Grade shelved his series. The eventual broadcasts, in 1997, suffered severe cuts - among them, infamously, a spoof report about a new Yorkshire Ripper stage show, "Sutcliffe The Musical". Morris retaliated in a subsequent episode, inserting the subliminal message "GRADE IS A CUNT" into the broadcast. It appears for just ONE frame...but it's definitely there.

Other Morris titbits...

On one occasion he filled a BBC newsroom with helium prior to the live broadcast of a story about a train crash, and on yet another doctored the Queen's speech to read: "In this room my father used to service men and women". He was sacked shortly after.

Morris next appeared on Radio One in an 8pm Wednesday evening show. By the end of his stint he'd announced the deaths of the still-living Michael Hesletine (MP), Jimmy Saville and Meatloaf. He'd shouted "Christ's fat cock!" down the phone at Cliff Richard, called Peter Stringfellow’s girlfriend an idiot "just for being a woman", and upset the authorities at Gatwick Airport by forcing them to page people with thinly disguised, foreign-sounding names like 'Aneeda Sheet' and 'Heidi Drahgzqueeg'.

I'm actually a HUGE Brass Eye fan...and a HUGE fan of Morris. He is undoubtedly one of Britain's finest comic talents, and a national treasure. Controversial, but rarely less than arse-achingly funny! Part satirist, part media terrorist, and part post-modern journalist...Morris is one of a kind. I firmly believe Brass Eye to be the work of a demented genius.

I suggest you read on and see what all the hoo-hah was about...










VOICEOVER : (menacingly) These are our children. They skip down our streets. But the paedophile is waiting.

(Pictures of street signs called "Fancia Drive" and "Youngbottom Ride" followed by a man with "paedo" written on his forehead laughing insanely with two children held close to him)

GARY LINEKER (footballer, presenter) : Take a look at this. (shows a photograph of a hillside with indistinguishable blue mark) What is it? Just a hillside? Look again. There's a child there - no more than a blue speck. But the fact is : if you showed this picture to a paedophile, they'd actually try and attack it in an attempt to reach the child. That's the kind of warped mindset we're dealing with here.

VOICEOVER : Even our most drastic measures don't work. Last month the notorious paedophile Sydney Cook was blasted into space to spend the rest of his life aboard a one-man prison vessel posing no further threat to children on Earth. But it was revealed that an 8-year-old boy was also placed on board by mistake and is now trapped alone in space with the monster. A spokesman said "This is the one thing we didn't want to happen"

CHRIS MORRIS : Why can we no longer think of the British Isles without the word "paedoph" in front of them.

(Image of British Isles distort's to show leering faces and Chris Morris shrinks to a child's size before running away)

(Overly long intro credits cuts to a black newsroom with many tv monitors and equipment in background.)

CHRIS MORRIS : Good evening. We're live tonight from the epicentre of operation "Daisybird". Welcome to Paedogeddon.

SWANCHITA HAZE : People like this are everywhere. (indicates man fondling teddy bear and drooling - she slaps him and his glasses fall off)

CHRIS MORRIS : That's why my own children are here with me. Goodnight children. (Closes 2 filing cabinet draws containing children)

CHRIS MORRIS : They're safe tonight. Are yours?

SWANCHITA HAZE : I doubt it. That's why we've taken over every major stadium in the country. Please : we must have your children safe in one of those by midnight.

VALISE BELCHER : They're already filling up nicely. And that's the check in area in Cardiff and you can see clowns there fitting children with anti-paedophile canisters. Those canisters can be remotely activated if the child goes missing. They put off paedophiles by spraying the child with 8 litres of pressurised sewerage.

CHRIS MORRIS : We're after your help too. (points to monitor) Security footage of a paedophile disguised as a school. He's been getting away with it in Sheffield for 12 years. Do you know him? Have you seen him? Please call.

SWANCHITA HAZE : Yes we must catch that man. He really is a shit.

VALISE BELCHER : But let's start with a look at how the <whispered> paedophile problem </whispered> has grown over the years.

VOICEOVER : Victorian Britain : This man is having sex with a 10-year-old girl. In our reconstruction, she's played by a 25-year-old woman. The breasts are inaccurate. A child's breasts are small, the nipples much like those of a boy. But this isn't paedophilia : the girl's a whore.

GIRL : Can I 'av the money now please?

VOICEOVER : In the 1950s, a national questionnaire explained exactly what a paedophile was. Each man in Britain was asked if he thought he was one. 92% said yes.

(Black and white footage of people signing papers)

VOICEOVER : 1969 and the summer of "Pan" saw thousands off young paedophiles party without shame in parks and fields.

(Footage of hippies smoking and dancing in fields)

VOICEOVER :And as late as 1973, people still thought nothing of hits like "Playground Bang-a-Round"

(Glam rock styled band on stage performing)

SINGER : Turn a ride inside, little boy on the slide, little girl on the swing, and sing "hold my thing", playground bang-a-round, bang a little boy, girl, playground bang-a-round, bang a little girl.

VOICEOVER : But today, the number of children having sex with adults is beyond belief. If you define a child as anyone under 30, the figure is over 86%. Institutional paedophilia spreads wide rife.

INTERVIEWER : So what measures did you take to ensure this man wouldn't offend again?

TYRONA SMALLOX : We invited a 10-year-old boy into the room and asked the man "Are you attracted to this boy" and he said "No"

INTERVIEWER : Did you believe him?

TYRONA SMALLOX : Yes

INTERVIEWER : Even though on that occasion he put his hand down the boy's trousers?

TYRONA SMALLOX : He was trying to save the boy from a fly.

VOICEOVER : We have become a people confused.

(Chris Morris talks to a focus group made up of members of the public)

CHRIS MORRIS : (reading from a letter) Dear sir, I am a paedophile. Please can I have sex with this 3-year-old girl now that she's 21.

MAN : No way

WOMAN : You should be in a mental asylum.

SWANCHITA HAZE : A large crowd has gathered outside Dredgemore prison tonight to protest against tomorrows planned release of the notorious paedophile Jes North. Ted Maul has this there:

(Crowds in the streets, running about and shouting. A plastic dummy is thrown in and the crowd stamps and jumps on it)

TED MAUL : Yes! And I don't know if you can sense the air of aggression here but 10 minutes ago we threw this crowd a dummy full of guts. It lasted just 8 seconds. This is very much a protest that's swallowed a bomb, and given the detonator to a monkey.

SWANCHITA HAZE : What's that behind you Ted?

TED MAUL : The giant, dressed as a girl. He's been here all day.

SWANCHITA HAZE : Thanks Ted. So, who is Jes North? In 1986, Jes North was convicted for multiple acts. We believe his story is too upsetting to transmit. We only do so now with that proviso.

WITNESS 1 : I drew pictures of him and they were......disgusting.

WITNESS 2 : His handwriting was definitely too big.

WITNESS 3 : I remember once he got his bum out.

(Footage of man leaving a school. Rubs a potato while watching a group of children and there is a simulated ejaculation. Stops the car by a young boy whose clothes flash on and off. Dives from car and lunges in Matrix style freeze-frame)

VOICEOVER : Like so many of his kind, North was required to leave school, after passing exams and took a job delivering potatoes. The perfect cover for a serial robe intruder. By night he trawled these hellblocks for innocent vulnerables. I recently met one of North's victims. She was in fact so upset she would only talk through her sister disguised as a plastic troll.

SISTER : (with spiky blue hair) She still can't really speak about it

VOICEOVER : We asked Kelly to demonstrate North's .... perversions. Someone who agrees to rub their breasts on television is clearly inexcusably disturbed. But incredibly it took police another 8 years to bring North to justice.

CHRIS MORRIS : At this house on the 26th of March 1986 North was arrested. He received 4 life sentences to be served...Austin Tasseltine?

AUSTIN TASSELTINE : Sequentially

CHRIS MORRIS : Thanks Austin. But even in prison North's rastapaedic impulse found new outlets.

http://www.glgarden.org/foreverman/1.gif

VOICEOVER : He was allowed to write articles for a magazine edited by a man who, at that time, had a 9 year old nephew with a nice pink arse and no hair on his balls. The orgy of slywinking usery was only brought to an end by a stairwell noncebashing which left North braindead and quadraspazzed on a life-glug.

http://www.glgarden.org/foreverman/2.gif

CHRIS MORRIS : Jes North is released tomorrow. Can we be sure that pervert mechanics haven't built him one of these. Of course we can't, which is why your children could very soon be splatted by a roboplegic wrong-cock. Now what are the facts about paedophiles? Lardon Iridesko reports :

(Shows documents with company header "No Offenc" "National Organisation for Fighting and Eliminating Neighbourhood Crime")

LARDON IRIDESKO : This is No Offenc, the countries leading authority on paedophiles. Using Britain's best loved heads...

PHIL COLLINS (singer) : And I'm talking Nonce-sense

LARDON IRIDESKO : ...to broadcast paedophile facts...

DR FOX (radio presenter) : (points to dead crab) This is a crab. This has sex with kids.

LARDON IRIDESKO : ...to those most in danger.

ANDY McNAB (ex SAS, author): (in shadows) Let's just get one thing straight. The British Army has never launched an offensive against a 6 year old child.

GERALD HOWETH (MP) : Gerald Howeth here for No Offenc incorporating No Offence, No Offence, No Offence and No Fanks.

LORD COE OF RANMORE : Paedophiles are very good at disguising themselves. These are two photographs of the same paedophile, before and after. And it works too. This man is still at large in the United States. He is believed to have a low status job inside the music industry.

GERALD HOWETH (MP) : How brazen and shameless is the modern paedophile? Well take a look at this card here. What sort of sick individual puts things like this up in a telephone box? What sort of thing was going through his mind?

http://www.glgarden.org/foreverman/4.jpg

DR FOX (radio presenter) : Genetically, paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me. Now that is scientific fact. There's no real "evidence" for it but it is scientific fact.

GARY LINEKER (footballer, presenter) : Children today often have mobile phones but so too do paedophiles using text message slang. And because they're on edge they dial wrong numbers so watch out for these. (holds mobile phone showing P2PBSH) Pipe to pipe bushman - code for two paedophiles having sex with each other while watching children from a shrub.

ANDY McNAB (ex SAS, author) : (holds phone showing DBL) DBL means dusty blonde lulu and that's a male paedophile disguised as a lion.

GARY LINEKER (footballer, presenter) : (holds phone showing BALTIMORA) Baltimora - this means literally : "I'm running at them now with my trousers down"

SYD RAPSON (MP Labour) : This man is using clapping to describe a 6 year old child alone in department store while her mother is distracted using a mobile telephone. Other paedophiles in the area can now take advantage of this child by using this method of communication.

(Shows CCTV footage of a man rotating on the spot and clapping his hands in front of him and behind his back)

GERALD HOWETH (MP) : I'd like to play you a piece of music called "Stay Away From Me" by the American chart toppers "Smash My Brother's Face In"

(Plays cassette consisting of shouting and lots of random noise. It sounds awful)

LORD COE OF RANMORE : A paedophile would be really nonplussed if you opened your mouth and that noise came out - so learn it!

(TITLE - COMING UP)

VOICEOVER : Wadded and rammed, public support for anti-paedophile technology.

(Chris Morris talks again to the public focus group)

CHRIS MORRIS : The Singapore solution : A paedophile has an implant the size of a cashew nut in his rectum. These devices are triggered by the sound of children's voices. "It" hears those voices . It expands to the size of a 42 inch colour television set. Bang! They fall to the ground shrieking and the children are safe.

PUBLIC RESPONSE: Sounds great/Very good/Very good idea/Brilliant/ Yes!

VOICEOVER : And a self confessed paedophile is confronted with what he is:

http://www.glgarden.org/foreverman/6.jpg

DAVID QUOOSP : You are a paedophile. You are a nonce. You're a perv. You're a slot badger. You're a two pin din plug. You're a bush dodger. You're a small bean regarder. You're a unabummer. You're a nut administrator. You're a bent ref. You're The Crazy World of Arthur Brown. You're a fence vole. You're a free willy. You're a chimney bottler. You're a bunty man. You're a shrub rocketeer.

PETER : Yes well, you know, you've just mentioned some of the names that we have to put up with every day and it's just another form of racism.

(In the style of a commercial - An American talks over footage of weapons being fired. Pistols, rifles, machine guns, explosions, arships etc.)

AMERICAN : Delivering justice onto men who prey sex on our children. Men who have sacrificed the right to a life without pain. I know how they look. I know how they think. I was one for Christ's sake. 10 years ago, I had designs on my own kids. I knew that one day I might act on them so to stop me I shot myself in my own head. I killed the pedophile in me - now I do the same for society. Because these men have chosen the way of the animal. They don't deserve punishment - they deserve...gunishment!

VOICEOVER : The Pedo-Files starts next week on 4 straight after Paedophile Island - 100 kids and an ex-offender on an island full of cameras. What going to happen?

http://www.glgarden.org/foreverman/7.gif

Cont...










CHRIS MORRIS : Welcome back. In the past 3 minutes there's been an attempt to break into Dredgemore prison and attack the paedophile Jes North. Ted Maul is there.

TED MAUL : Yes! A vigilante has just tried to fire himself over the prison walls using a giant catapult. Minutes earlier a test projectile believed to be a side of beef cleared the parapet by a full 20 feet. But when the man himself was fired his trajectory was all out of goose. He thumped into the wall - you could hear his bones breaking on impact. Medics say he may live but only with his neck as an internal organ.

VOICEOVER : Still in the paddock, the web perverts who sell trousers to disguise erections in playgrounds.

(Footage of a man who pulls a cord and his trousers inflate like a balloon)

SYD RAPSON (MP Labour) : I think it's an absolute disgrace that somebody should use the internet to market these "trust me trousers". It makes it very difficult to pin them with the offence because it covers the fact that they're stimulated in the groin area.

VOICEOVER : And, paedophilia for laughs?

http://www.glgarden.org/foreverman/8.jpg

FENTON BEESY : Who wants a sweety?

VOICEOVER : Reformed offender Fenton Beesy has a bestselling autobiography and now runs bus tours of his old haunts.

FENTON BEESY : You'll have to do something for Uncle Beesy first. You have to lift up your skirt and show me your knickers.

VOICEOVER : Why are they laughing?

FENTON BEESY : What's that? Hair!? I don't like hair.

VOICEOVER : Is he right to milk his perversion.

FENTON BEESY : When you have children of your own, you remember Uncle Beesy - and get them to undress by the window. Would you do that for me. Only kiddin, only kiddin. Hahaha.

CHRIS MORRIS : hahaha. Excellent. And I've been on that bus trip myself and I have to say it really is very funny. You'd like that Valise, you ought to go.

VALISE BELCHER : Yes. Most stadiums are over half full now. There is a parent riot currently in Leeds which started after a paedophile in a microlight committed an overhead perversion at Headingly stadium. But police helicopters soon chased him into pylons where he crashed screaming like a pig in a war.

SWANCHITA HAZE : So what's next for Britain?

VOICEOVER : Tarted up tots at American pageants. How long before we see this in Nuneaton?

MOTHER : Look at these

(Opens clothing of a girl to reveal (pixellated) enhanced breasts)

WOMAN : Oh, are they real

MOTHER : Well, they're enhanced

WOMAN : Oh they're so cute

MOTHER : Well we didn't want to go too big

(Father picks up girl and shakes her)

FATHER : They jiggle

WOMAN : (to other girl) Oh, we'll get some of those for you, baby.

VOICEOVER : Our children are already obsessed by the American rap artist JLB-8. Self styled "king of Nu-Ass music", he's sold over 18 million records and dates girls as young as 7.

JLB-8 : (rapping) If you turn away from me, I'm happy cause I can see, your little white butt ( little white butt ).

GIRLS : He's the coolest. Definitely.

JLB-8 : (rapping) I'm pleased to declare I've never found a single hair on your little white butt ( little white butt )

VOICEOVER : B-8 claims he's been treated unfairly.

JLB-8 : (rapping) Don't you think you should ask my dad maybe, why his dick was up my ass fore I was even a baby. Sure my butt was over the cervix, that's not a free whole for perv dicks. He fucked me anally pre-natally. I'm only doin unto them as he did unto me.

INTERVIEWER : But he's a paedophile

GIRLS : So. Like we care.

JLB-8 : (rapping) The way he polishes my balls he was inside my diaper, I got two holes in my prostate with windshield wipers.

INTERVIEWER : Wouldn't you object if he tried to kiss you?

GIRLS : No!

VOICEOVER : Even our own artists seem hell bent on depravitivity.

CHRIS MORRIS : Pseudo-photographs, composite images, which can be dangerous.

MICHAEL HAMES (Former Head of Obscene Publications Branch) : Yes, they can be. They become indecent by virtue of the way in which they've been um...altered.

CHRIS MORRIS : Work in progress by "An art collective unhappy disgusting wow". A nude woman's body, a little girl's head. Now, I did find that quite sexually...

(picture of a large girls head on a tiny adult female body)

MICHAEL HAMES : Arousing?

CHRIS MORRIS : ...arousing image.

MICHAEL HAMES : Well, the fact that you did does not make that an indecent photograph.

CHRIS MORRIS : Why not?

MICHAEL HAMES : Because it's not. Because the body is not one of a child.

CHRIS MORRIS : Ian Didgehirst's "About Last Night"

(picture of a dog with a young boys head and a large penis)

MICHAEL HAMES : Hmmm. From my view that would be...

CHRIS MORRIS : That's indecent?

MICHAEL HAMES : Yes.

(picture of a doll with an erect penis protruding from its nappy)

CHRIS MORRIS : Indecent or not?

MICHAEL HAMES : No.

CHRIS MORRIS : If this were the eyes of a child?

MICHAEL HAMES : Lets just put the whole head on (indicates first picture). All I'm saying is we put that head on there then yes it would be indecent.

CHRIS MORRIS : Okay. And uh...if we just do that.

(He takes the first picture and folds it so to place the girls head over that of the doll)

MICHAEL HAMES : Oh God, will the artist mind?

CHRIS MORRIS : I don't care. This made me quite angry. We'll pay for it. Right? That is an indecent image is it?

MICHAEL HAMES : Yes.

(back in the studio)

CHRIS MORRIS : Now, why are no paedophiles black?

(disturbance in the studio. Camera is shaken and there is shouting. Cut to...)

http://www.glgarden.org/foreverman/5.jpg

DR FOX (radio presenter) : And you - leave the kids alone - or else. Now a quick recap for you :- paedophiles, crabs, simple. Hold that thought.

(Back in the studio. A man is being held in some stocks)

MAN : Let me out of here

CHRIS MORRIS : Just a second. I'm sorry but we've been invaded by members of the militant paedophile organisation "milit-paed". This is their leader Gerard Chote. Now listen a second. You've broken in here demanding to have your say on live television. Tell us what you believe.

GERARD CHOTE: What?

CHRIS MORRIS : What do you believe?

GERARD CHOTE: I...I believe that intergenerational sex is...is appropriate within a loving relationship.

CHRIS MORRIS : (interrupting) Sex with children?

GERARD CHOTE: Yes.

CHRIS MORRIS : Stop right there. (beckons off stage and young boy enters) Come on. That's my son Johnny alright. Have a look at him. Now - are you prepared to tell me you wanna have sex with my son.

GERARD CHOTE: No.

CHRIS MORRIS : You're ashamed aren't you?

GERARD CHOTE: No I'm not ashamed.

CHRIS MORRIS : Then tell me you want to have sex with my son.

GERARD CHOTE: I don't.

CHRIS MORRIS : Why not?

GERARD CHOTE: I don't fancy him.

CHRIS MORRIS : What d'ya mean?

GERARD CHOTE: I just don't. I don't find him attractive. I'm sorry.

CHRIS MORRIS : Good. Actually. You're prepared to tell the father of a 6-year-old that you want to have sex with him on live television.

GERARD CHOTE: I didn't.

CHRIS MORRIS : Effectively you did.

GERARD CHOTE: I didn't.

CHRIS MORRIS : You did. Swanchita, he just did, didn't he?

SWANCHITA HAZE : Yes. I mean that is just so...

CHRIS MORRIS : Yeah.

GERARD CHOTE: I didn't.

CHRIS MORRIS : You did.

ONLINE GAMES

VOICEOVER : The latest menace to require urgent warnings from expert communicators.

NICHOLAS OWEN (ITN Reporter) : Right so if you could just take that and hold that right under the camera.

BARBARA FOLLET (MP Labour) : Pantou the dog, a child's game on the internet. But look again. An online paedophile has converted that eye to work as a webcam to look at the child player.

NICHOLAS OWEN (ITN Reporter) : Sometimes the child can glimpse the molester in that kennel bouncing around and waving.

PHILIPPA FORRESTER (Presenter) : Wearing a t-shirt like this, the online paedophile can disguise himself as a child.

(holds up t-shirt with crudely drawn small body on the chest)

BARBARA FOLLET (MP Labour) : So the child thinks it's playing with another child.

http://www.glgarden.org/foreverman/9.jpg

KATE THORNTON (Broadcaster/Journalist) : It's called a HOECS game. A Hidden Online Entrapment Control System.

NICHOLAS OWEN (ITN Reporter) : Singapore police have sent us these pictures. This man has plugged his groin into his computer to get sexual pleasure from the actions of a child playing with Pantou.

http://www.glgarden.org/foreverman/10.jpg

RICHARD BLACKWOOD (comedian/musician) : So every time your kid tickles Pantou, the paedophile gets his rocks off, and it doesn't stop there.

BARBARA FOLLET (MP Labour) : In this shot, Pantou the dog has told the boy to press his face onto the soft screen. Online paedophiles use special gloves to feel and palpate the child's face.

PHILIPPA FORRESTER (Presenter) : In fact with gloves like these the manipulator can molest any part of the child's body placed against the screen.

KATE THORNTON (Broadcaster/Journalist) : We even have footage that would be too alarming to show you of a little boy being interfered with by a penis shaped sound wave generated by an online paedophile.

SYD RAPSON (MP Labour) : We believe that paedophiles are using an area of the internet the size of Ireland and through this they can control keyboards.

RICHARD BLACKWOOD (comedian/musician) : Online paedophiles can actually make your keyboard release toxic vapours that make you suggestible. (sniffs keyboard) You know I must say I actually feel more suggestible and that's just from one sniff.

KATE THORNTON (Broadcaster/Journalist) : HOECS games can cause serious damage. One child was trapped online for a whole night and, according to a psychiatric report, came away with the jaded listless sexual appetite of a 60-year-old colonel.

RICHARD BLACKWOOD (comedian/musician) : Now here are the warning signs to show that your child might be in trouble. Are they upset? Do they smell odd? Weird question but HOECS games actually make your child smell like hammers.

KATE THORNTON (Broadcaster/Journalist) : So come on experts. Why is no-one telling us about this stuff. There's a kid in Canada who's gone almost completely 2D and no-ones doing anything about it.

PHILIPPA FORRESTER (Presenter) : Please - sit your kids down tonight and tell them about HOECS games. Let strangle Pantou.

NICHOLAS OWEN (ITN Reporter) : Let's put a bomb under Pantou's chin and stamp on his throat. Let's rip this dog's brains out.

SWANCHITA HAZE : There's been a dramatic development at Dredgemore prison. Ted Maul has this.

TED MAUL : An eruption of anger. The smell of burnt hair in the air. Just minutes ago the prison authorities tried to sneak North out of the back here. It didn't work. Crowds set upon the transporter, one man ended up plaited around the axel, they ripped North out of the back and at that point we became ominously aware of a 25 foot wicker phallus. Seconds later North was ablaze. Sheets of flame dancing to the beat of primitive animal justice. One man kebabbed, hundreds scarred by a shared blood ritual. And yet, an astonishing sense of community here now, a positive atmosphere, a sense of a job well done, a shared sigh of relief very much like the bizarre euphoria at the end of an hours vomiting. Chris.

SWANCHITA HAZE : And we're already getting emails about the burning. "Well done that crowd" a lot of positive support here, even from hardened nonces.

CHRIS MORRIS : Well it has bee a great night hasn't it.

SWANCHITA HAZE : Certainly has Chris. 2 million children now safe in out stadiums.

CHRIS MORRIS : A Peter File was attacked in his car this evening but I have to say if your surname was File would you call your son Peter?

SWANCHITA HAZE : No!

CHRIS MORRIS : And look : If a child does take your fancy please remember - leave it a couple of years.

SWANCHITA HAZE : I did

CHRIS MORRIS : Goodnight.

GIRL (singing): One day I'll want to, but not today.

CHRIS MORRIS (singing): She can be kissed, but in an innocent way.

SWANCHITA HAZE (singing): And her cherry must ripen, naturally, in the sun.

CHILDRENS CHOIR (singing): One day, we're not ready yet, we're not ready yet, we're not ready today, one day.

AUSTIN TASSELTINE (singing) : There's a little minx, should I buy her with drinks? NO!

CHILDRENS CHOIR (singing) : One day, but not today and not even tomorrow.

OLDER GIRL (singing) : But maybe the day after that.

DAVID QUOOSP : Do you feel children are underestimated and their power to make decisions is underestimated?

PETER : Very much so.

DAVID QUOOSP : And yet we know there from history there was a 4-year-old general at Waterloo. A headmaster in China who was 3. And we know for example Idi Amin - a smothering slobbering aunt.

PETER : Yes precisely. Could he say no to her? Perhaps not. I mean if you don't make the problem up it won't become such a problem and you won't have so many damaged people.

DAVID QUOOSP : T'ete a derriere.

PETER : Exactly.

GERALD HOWETH (MP) : Last night a DJ saved my life. How? By writing this music which contains advice on avoiding strangers. And who was the DJ? It was none other than DJ Bob Hoskins Going Mental in a Dustbin.

MUSIC : Stay away from the guy with the funny eyes. Keep away from the funny eyed guy.

ANDY McNAB (ex SAS, author) : Here's a quick checklist to help you spot a paedophile.

PHIL COLLINS (singer): And they're all taken from police reports in the last 6 months.

ANDY McNAB (ex SAS, author) : If someone tells you to take your clothes off in case your thumbs get too hot.

PHIL COLLINS (singer): If someone shows you a model of your hometown and all the houses look like penises.

ANDY McNAB (ex SAS, author) : If someone thinks goldfish are the same as flatfish, there's something very wrong.

http://www.glgarden.org/foreverman/3.jpg

PHIL COLLINS (singer): Nonce-sense.

GERALD HOWETH (MP) : (turns off music) Put that in your ears last thing at night because the lesson trickles in. And behavioural psychology tells us that in the morning you will be 17.8% safer.

What was the fucking point of that? A simple summary would have sufficed..

Woah, easy...did I offend you?

The "fucking point" is I thought it was an extremely interesting read.

You don't agree?

Well then SCROLL ON...it's hardly rocket science.

Pardon me for posting more than two lines of 'the usual'...

You could have provided the link :)

Problem is, I don't 'approve' of the place where the link originates from...and I couldn't find an alternative site.

There's a method in my madness.

C'mon...I didn't shit on anybody's doorstep ferchrisake.

Chill out peeps.

BCV: I appreciate you posting that hon. That had to be one of the most interesting things I've ever read!

It's actually called Phase One. And it was an incredible and incredibly shocking episode because it changed EVERYTHING! My mouth just jaw dropped! SD-6 and The Aliance being taken out! Then we found out it was all orchestrated by Sloane! And yes, then we see Francie dead! And replaced with an evil double!


Shocking moments on 24:

Season 1 when we find out Alan York isn't really Alan York but a bad guy pretending to be him and he kills Janet! First major shocker of the show! My mouth just dropped!

When Jack was forced to shoot Nina! Even though we find out she's bad: Whoa!

When we find out Nina is the mole in CTU! :eek: ! I was so bummed because I liked Nina so much!

In season 2 when Jack shoots and kills Marshall Goran!

When CTU is blown up and George Mason finds out he's been exposed to platonium and is going to die by the end of the day :(

In season 3 when we find out Jack is addicted to heroin

When Tony is shot in the neck!

When we find out that Geal is not actually a mole but that he and Jack and Tony have actually been working together to get Jack back undercover with the Salazars and the whole virus threat in the begining was a hoax

When the other bidder turns out to be Nina

When Ramon shoots and kills his brother Hector

When Saunders gives the order to kill Chapelle and Jack executes the command :eek: :(


As you can see no other show has more shocks and surprises than 24!


There are other shows so I'll be back with them later.

The "Piss on you" R. Kelly song

-Chappelle's Show :)

"Take me to you special place
Close your eyes, show me your face..."

Brasseye really does have to be seen to be believed, and especially the 'Paedogeddon' special. When it was first aired in - I'm making a guess here - 2001, me and my friends decided to watch it, being fans of the series.

It was one of those programmes in which it was so outrageous, you didn't know whether to laugh or not - I own the series and special on DVD, so I think it's safe to say I like the programme - but at the time I distinctly remember looking at my friends and seeing identical, "should-I-find-this-amusing?" looks upon their faces. A very, VERY guilty pleasure.

I remember being shocked by the British series of 'Queer as Folk.' The subject matter (the everyday lives of gay men in Manchester) didn't offend me at all, but the fact that British television aired an explicit homosexual sex scene (in which an older man takes home a 15-year-old boy) really surprised me - British television is hardly liberal, although both QAF and Brasseye featured on Channel 4, which could be considered the most liberal of the channels.

I remember reading that the first episode (which featured the aforementioned and sole sex scene of the series) received a record amount of complaints, even beating the intentionally shocking 'The Word.'

"This is the remix edition of the song about pissin"

Chappelle is amazing!

****SPOILERS FOR 24 AND E.R.****




















24: Season 1:

Finding out Nina was the mole even though the show went out of it's way to make you think she couldn't possibly be it in an earlier episode.

When the jilted lover, in a fit of rage, killed one of the Drazen's for revenge in that hotel room when they needed him alive for valuable information about his father.


24: Season 2:

When Jack kills that incarcerated bad guy that they only brought in for questioning in the season premiere.

Finding out that that blonde chick was the one linked to the terrorists when she killed her fianceé, and that it wasn't her fianceé or her father. Maybe I'm just a sucker, but I didn't see that one coming AT ALL! Still probably my favourite T.V. plot twist ever. This was me as I was watching that take place: :eek:


24: Season 3:

Finding out that Gael was NOT a mole after all, but was still a good guy. A cool kind of reverse twist. What I loved about that episode was that they actually made it look for a few moments as though Tony, (a guy who dates all the way back to Season 1 for those who don't watch the show), was a mole along with Gael.

When Jack is ordered to kill Ryan Chapelle, a completely innocent man, in cold blood, and he does it.




E.R.:

I can't believe no one has mentioned this one with all of the E.R. references because it's by far my favourite, but here goes:

When we found out that the person that committed suicide with the bashed in face was actually Omar Epps' character when his cell phone went off in the E.R. as they tried to reach him for help with, ironically, himself.

Again, me as I was watching that take place: :eek:





Oh yeah, and the arm thing. ;)

That was an awesome plot twist, but I'm proud to say that that's one I actually saw coming, and I'm usually not very good at those types of things.

Definately when Romano lost his arm.