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-   -   Marriage (http://www.joblo.com/forums/showthread.php?t=148637)

echo_bravo 02-14-2013 02:26 AM

Marriage
 
Are you married? If so, how is it going?

If not, are you wanting to get married?

Personally, I'm very skeptical of marriage. The guy has way too much to lose if there is a divorce (alimony and if there is a kid in the mix then theres child support as well)

One of my friends is 28 yrs old and has already been married TWICE!:eek: Thats just fuckin insane to me.

Exophrine 02-14-2013 10:14 AM

Currently single, never been married. I would like to get married someday, though. :)

My only worry is if it doesn't work out for me. I've seen many friends and families broken up over a lot of divorces. I don't want that happening to me. Plus, I'm also fiscally conservative, and those weddings and divorces are never cheap. So if I'm going to get married, I'm gonna stay married. Screw getting a lawyer and getting a divorce. If I were to separate, I'd go for an annulment instead. Last note on myself: if she won't sign a prenuptial agreement, then I'm not moving forward.

As far as marriage is concerned, when you consider the cost, I think that marriage is one of the biggest gambles you'll ever take in life. You're not only giving up half of everything that you have ever built in your life on your own up to now, but also half of everything that you'll ever earn for the rest of your life. I don't know about you guys, but if I'm to commit to one thing, much less a person, and for the rest of my life, I would find it highly advisable to try a few samples before buying the whole thing. It's one of the few times I'm thankful to live in today's time, where most traditional dating/relationship practices are on the decline.

...and here's where my beef with the Catholic Church (and any other religion that does a similar thing) comes in: as far as I know, growing up Catholic, they teach that the act of having sex for the first time is of the utmost importance...even moreso than getting married. Now I don't know about you guys, but I see something wrong there: to tell young people that in order to have sex and not have it be a sin in the eyes of God, then the price of admission is to abstain from all sexual activity (even masturbating) and then be in a fully committed, lifetime relationship with this person beforehand? Gimme a break.

RustyRazor 02-14-2013 12:05 PM

I was married for six years to a wonderful woman and a very good friend. We were in and out of the relationship phase and one day said "we're good together, let's get hitched!".
The time we were together was good, we cared about each other a great deal but the basis for "marriage", that "spark" just wasn't there.
We divorced back in 2010, started out rocky but we ended up civil.
We lost contact last year and haven't spoken since.

Marriage is a HUGE step and to be completely honest, I don't suggest it for everyone. It almost has this stigma attached to it that if you don't perform to a set number of tasks (which you WILL be graded on) then you're not the ideal mate and a lousy significant other.
I call b.s. on that.
You came together because there was something there as friends and that "extra" something pushed you into more than friends.
Getting married WILL signify that union BUT you can't let it pigeonholed you into thinking that the evaluation is under way.
THat's when problems can develop.
Well that and if one of you is "stepping out" or a myriad of other problems.
Is she still the only one that truly makes you happy?
Is he still the only one that can make you smile?
That's what matters most.
But a ring and certificate aren't really that necessary to signify that.
THose things are tangible proof.
Holding the hand of the one you love, sharing that love, THAT is the real signifying thing.

Happy Valentine's Day every one.
Rusty's not down on marriage.
It can be beautiful.
I will get married again someday.
But I'll know when the time is right.
And then, it will be glorious.

Roy Batty 02-14-2013 01:15 PM

Not married, still in college and too young (I'm 21). But, maybe, one day, it could be something on my to do list. I could just as easily see myself just being with one particular individual but not married.

Preston_79 02-14-2013 02:27 PM

Most guys I know who are worried about losing half their shit if they ever got married and divorced, don't even have shit to begin with. They have a car that's not paid off, they rent an apartment, and their most valuable asset is a big screen tv.

AspectRatio1986 02-14-2013 04:12 PM

I would love to get married someday, but my outlook on life and finding a woman I could connect with and love everyday for the rest of my life isn't the best. I hope so, one day.

DuncanIdaho 02-14-2013 06:47 PM

Been married since 07. Going fine, had some issues here and there, rough spots and what not but we are still going strong. I was 26 (4 days away from 27) when I made the plunge and havent regretted a single day. We each brought a child into the relationship but neither of us had been married before. We now have a 3rd child (our first together) and she is 4. We also have another due at the end of April so 4 kids total once she is born.


You find the right person you dont worry about divorce or crap like that. You jump into marriage with a good piece of ass without spending some real quality time together, you end up worrying about shit like that.

Mr. Guiltless 02-14-2013 07:03 PM

Marriage? No thanks.

bigred760 02-14-2013 11:26 PM

Been married for 19 months - so far, so good. We just had our first child three months ago.

bourahioro 02-15-2013 08:57 AM

My wife (bantameant) and I have been married since July of 2003. We have a strong connection and a great marriage, but it did take some work. I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else.

RustyRazor 02-15-2013 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigred760 (Post 3655391)
Been married for 19 months - so far, so good. We just had our first child three months ago.

Congrats, B.R.
Little Red? Baby Red? Ooh, wait. No. Fireball! That is the COOLEST name for a kid. Walking onto the playground..."oh man, it's Fireball."
:D

RustyRazor 02-15-2013 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bourahioro (Post 3655550)
My wife (bantameant) and I have been married since July of 2003. We have a strong connection and a great marriage, but it did take some work. I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else.

THAT is the connection I'm talking about.
Good wishes to you and the misses, dude.

Badbird 02-15-2013 05:21 PM

I would really be interested in seeing marriage statistics if you could take out outliers like:

Shotgun Weddings (got married because of pregnancy)
Quickie Weddings (partners knew each other less than six months)
Abstinence Weddings (no sex till marriage, only to become sexually incompatible)

I have a feeling the success rate would skyrocket if you took away just those three factors. I'm currently engaged and see it like this:

Marriage is a commitment that some people clearly aren't mature enough to take on. It's like a tattoo: it's meant to be permanent, so you should think about it for a good long time before committing. If you think you'll be together for the rest or your lives, there's no hurt in waiting a few years to be sure.

Bondgirl 02-15-2013 07:30 PM

Well first of all l am single at the moment and hoping that one day l will get married
to a wonderful guy
But l have to say that these days people get married and if it doesnt work out the first thing is that they get devorced instead of trying to save there marriage

But not all are like this but l feel that if you get married it should be for life not just take the plunge and then want to walk out just because you cant work it out

Tjhese days there are more devorces that poeple staying married which is a shame and bring children into this casn hurt them when things go wrong

When l was 14 my parents got devorced it was a terrible time and they had been married for 23yrs and to see them go there separate ways was sad

My dad was very sad he didnt want mum to go but well what can you do about it

my two brothers and l were upset and well my oldest brother took it badly
We were 14 , 15 and 16 yrs old at the time

They say that it effects young children bot even if you are a teen it is very hard

My mum was 16yrs old when she married my dad he was 21 at the time

My mums reason was that she had grown up alot and found my father to be too immature when things got tough
My dad has never lost contact with my mum and still ahs the same feeling for her but hse got remarried and she is happy but my dad stayed single and has never ever got over the split

jeo4 02-15-2013 08:24 PM

Married May 1996. I found an amazing woman. We're the closest of friends and we love each other completely. We share so many ideas, we laugh a lot, and we make a great couple. I can't imagine life without her.

Exophrine 02-15-2013 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeo4 (Post 3655625)
Married May 1996. I found an amazing woman. We're the closest of friends and we love each other completely. We share so many ideas, we laugh a lot, and we make a great couple. I can't imagine life without her.

^ This right here...not just a wife and a woman of the relationship, but also a best friend...that's what I want, and I'm not settling until I get it. I'm glad to hear it's been a great ride so far...here's to many more years, man.

...and BG, that sucks to hear.

Bondgirl 02-15-2013 11:55 PM

Yes l have to agree if your married you also need to be the best of friends and also you need to be tough and work together as a team when things get bad l feel if my parents had worked out,things instead of running from each other things could have improved Yes Exophine it did suck when they split up and also some parents don't realize it effects there children

Beard_of_Meat 02-16-2013 08:38 AM

My wife is the love of my life and my best friend.We got married in October of 2004 and have been happy ever since

SL Dubbs 02-16-2013 02:19 PM

Yes, coming up on three years now.

My wife and I are good buddies(she even calls me buddy). I think we both have the same sick sense of humor and were into the same shit for the most part and she's fucking hot. That's what makes it work.

If there's one complaint I have about my wife, it's her pot smoking. She smokes way too fucking much of it and doesn't bother to cover her tracks when she's done. When I say cover her tracks I mean after a long blaze session taking the 30 extra seconds to light some incense or candles to deaden the smell. That way when my parents drive 200 miles into to town to come and visit me they aren't assaulted with the cheech and chong den that is my living room, then automatically implicate me as a pot smoker.

Other then the small petty issue like the one listed above, she's pretty fuckin awesome. I lucked out I guess.

jaw2929 02-16-2013 06:29 PM

A draconian and antiquated, unrealistic/joke of an institution that I wouldn't wanna be mentally incompetent enough to check into again. Once was enough!

Preston_79 02-17-2013 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SL Dubbs (Post 3655879)

If there's one complaint I have about my wife, it's her pot smoking. She smokes way too fucking much of it and doesn't bother to cover her tracks when she's done. When I say cover her tracks I mean after a long blaze session taking the 30 extra seconds to light some incense or candles to deaden the smell. That way when my parents drive 200 miles into to town to come and visit me they aren't assaulted with the cheech and chong den that is my living room, then automatically implicate me as a pot smoker.

Other then the small petty issue like the one listed above, she's pretty fuckin awesome. I lucked out I guess.

You're a shinning example of tolerance. Usually it's just the opposite, the guy is the one doing all the smoking and the girlfriend/wife is doing all the nagging. I know a good many relationships that fell apart over something as silly as some marijuana smoking. Not saying you're nagging or anything. You're obviously a good husband. Pat yourself on the back.

spooky 02-17-2013 01:47 PM

the only "real" relationship i can have is with my car.

SL Dubbs 02-22-2013 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spooky (Post 3656117)
the only "real" relationship i can have is with my car.

and what kind of car do you own arnie cuningham?

Glinda 02-24-2013 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DuncanIdaho (Post 3655331)


You find the right person you dont worry about divorce or crap like that. You jump into marriage with a good piece of ass without spending some real quality time together, you end up worrying about shit like that.

I agree! Although divorce can eventually happen with even the most loving marriages, if you go into it already worried about divorce, then do not do it. If the person is the right person, you don't think about that and you shouldn't. If you are you're already giving up.

For me, I am at 28 years married and my marriage is definitely in peril, but that is our own fault. We let it happen over the last ten years. You can't let yourselves grow apart, and if you see it happening, do something don't let it get worse. Just my advice from my own mistakes anyway.

Bondgirl 02-24-2013 07:20 PM

Well that is true Glinda it is amzing how a marriage can go well at the start and start to go wrong in the end
My parents went through this they had 3 children and were married to young as my mum approached her mid 30,s she wanted to branch out because she was married at 16 and had three children in a row
She felt that she had lost her way she also felt that she had missed out on alot of things in life she was a child having children so it would ahve been hard on her at that time
She had support of my father and to this day my father has not remarried he still loves her
it is really sad if only they had have spoken about waht was going on and why my mum wanted to run
She felt that my dad didnt take things seroius and at that time there were alot of bills and she couldnt handle it alone

Sometimes when you know things are coming apart it can happen in little bits and if you dont talk about it you end up hating each other my mum hated my father at the time because he was not suppotive and at times he would laugh whe she did and didnt take it serous
I think to keep a marriage together you have to talk to each other and even if it is small because if you dont things can get alot worse
if children are involved you dont think of how they are feeling because as a couple you are too busy making life hell for your selfs

My oldest brothers hates my mums guts and blames her for the break up even to this day they have not really talked
My oldest brother got married a while back my mum was told not to come
my younger brother and l were diffrent we took it in our stride to stick it out and supported my oldst brothers anger

We stuck it out when both parents left the family home leaving us to defend our selfs with no or any food on the table we were only young at the time when they split and this is long before the devoice

To me it still upsets me to waht happened and what happened to us a schildren with not one parent at home to look at us and look after us

We were 8, 9, and 10 yrs old at the time
if you get married be sure this is waht you want because not olny is it bad as being a couple but it can break up the family unit entirely l am surprised us as children could cope but we were strong and did

Moviefan2k4 02-26-2013 07:38 AM

I believe that marriage is a sacred covenant ordained by God, meant only for one man and woman until death. I'm not married myself, but I want to be someday. I believe that short of abuse or infidelity, people should fight for their marriages; "irreconcilable differences" is an excuse for giving up.

Bondgirl 02-26-2013 07:51 AM

I do agree marriage should be for life but sometimes it doesnt Sometime people don't know marriage is a learning experience and it will have its ups and downs l feel when we reach that down part of a relationship we think the only way to go is leave couples don't think of talking about what is happening or what is going on In other cases some have to leave because say there is domestic volience is going on and of cause a woman should go and be safe so l don't believe god should be in control of everything in a marriage

Moviefan2k4 02-26-2013 08:02 AM

Well, domestic violence would be a form of abuse, so I think either spouse should get away from that.

Bondgirl 02-26-2013 08:09 AM

But a lot don't because they love there partner or have no money of there own to leave or also the abusive partner puts that person down emotionally so yes some marriages need to end

echo_bravo 07-22-2013 09:07 PM

Check out this guy's wife wanting to go to the lake. JFC!
and the ending is priceless haha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0mrMEWzpwo

Del 07-23-2013 08:43 AM

I'm married.

There's always that person that you think that will never get married, a family member, a friend, whomever.. I was that person. Single for a looooong time, and living the single life too, with all it's pro's and con's.. I didn't believe in marriage and a part of me still doesn't. But the strange thing is that I do believe, strongly, in that promise that I made to him (some people call it vows) the day we got married.

xseanymacx 07-23-2013 10:35 AM

I wouldn't be opposed to marriage if the right situation ever presented itself but I can honestly say I will never be actively hunting for it. That's where people get into trouble.

I'm 26, finishing a Master's, and as of right now, appear to be on the right career path. There is A LOT I want to accomplish on my own and things I want to do on my own (travel and write, live in Vegas for a year just gambling), experiences that I want to throw myself into fully, and I'd never want to hold a grudge or resentment toward someone if I ever felt like a relationship was stopping me from something I REALLY wanted to do.

I saw my parents separate THREE times (trying to run a business together doesn't help) and are together again and happier than ever. I certainly don't want that stress. I've also seen a lot of marriages of friend's parents, family, etc., end in divorce, but I have a GREAT relationship with my folks. I always make the joke (half kidding) sometimes I think the future would be better off with an awesome kid, and not necessarily the wife to go with :p

creekin111 07-23-2013 05:27 PM

What are the 3 rings in marriage?

Spoiler:
The engagement ring
The wedding ring
The suffering

MidnightAngel 07-23-2013 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by creekin111 (Post 3695623)
What are the 3 rings in marriage?

Spoiler:
The engagement ring
The wedding ring
The suffering

Damn right!:D

I'm also married......to my bachelorhood. I'ts extremely hard to find a date in these days. :(

creekin111 07-26-2013 02:31 PM

http://dailynewsdig.com/how-do-you-d...itten-by-kids/

Quote:

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both donít want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.

This one made laugh a lot. Kid is on to something.

bigred760 07-26-2013 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by creekin111 (Post 3696068)

This one's my favorite:

Quote:

quote:
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDNíT GET MARRIED?

(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldnít there?
- Kelvin, age 8


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