Yeah, it's tough. I have a boxer called Dickson. He's 9 now, and just had surgery to remove cancer from his jaw and is on the mend. I'm helluva grateful.
Dickson is my fourth boxer. They are the greatest pets a guy could hope for: loyal, protective, strong, friendly. But he IS the fourth, and I can tell you that the loss of my first dogs hurt more than the death of my grandparents.
Don't know why. Don't feel the need to justify this. It's just a fact.
Sorry to hear your bad news, count.