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  #19  
Old 01-04-2012, 11:25 AM

First link, really nice shot selections. Good use of space, flowed nicely. If I had any criticisms, it'd be the use of a giant hand written note in marker rather than a typed note. All in all, well choreographed, and a great use of 3 minutes

If I had any criticisms, it'd be the use of a giant hand written note in marker rather than a typed note. The other being the ADR on the conversation between the two assassins on the bench seemed unnatural for the environment.

On the 2nd short, was the intention to leave focus on the faucet? I found it distracting. It actually took away from the action that was going on in the background. Why does the character go into the front room to finish brushing his teeth? Why does the person farthest from the door - it was the door right? - or at least the person furthest from the action confront the killer first? And if not, why does the other off screen not come to his associates aid? Surely a physical scuffle would cause alarm enough to investigate or try to avoid being murdered himself - we never see the other death, and it happens so rapidly after the first, I can only assume it was easy pickings. A clear definition of why they are being murdered should have been established as well. I just know that they are with no idea of who they are and why the die.

If I had to guess, I'd say your 2nd posted was your first film, and I'd say there was notable improvement from first to 2nd.

Last edited by realkelevra; 01-04-2012 at 11:27 AM..
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